Delocated2008

David:
Dad, can we get something to drink. I'm thirsty.

Jon:
Oh, you're thirsty? Oh, I think I know why. It's because maybe it's hot out and you have a motorcycle helmet on. So maybe you take off the helmet -- Abracadabra -- You're not thirsty anymore.

David:
No, Dad, a branch could fall out of the tree and hit me in the head and give me brain damage.

Jon:
Chris' sense of humor is gonna give you brain damage, okay? He was joking.

David:
No, Dad, he wasn't joking. You just don't like him 'cause he's taking Mom to the Bone Zone.

Mike:
[chuckles] Whoa!

Jon:
[to David] What'd you just say, mouth? What did you just say?

David:
...

Jon:
Alright, I'm gonna need five minutes with my son -- If we could get the cameras off, please? What was that? Don't keep rolling when I ask you to turn the cameras off.

Seth:
Come on. Just give it to us on-camera. It'll be great.

Jon:
F*** you! Mike?

Mike:
Calm down.

Jon:
I am calm! TURN THEM OFF! WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?! OFF A**HOLES! STOP IT! Hey, dick, I'm making the call.