China, Il

China, Il2011

Director: Brad Neely
Genre: Comedy
China, IL (meaning China, Illinois) is an American adult animated sitcom created by Brad Neely for the Adult Swim programming block on Cartoon Network. The series was originally conceived as a web series on Adult Swim's defunct comedy website,… more »



Pony:
I got it all figured the F out. Listen to this. [opens the morgue] Professor Cakes' girlfriend.

Frank:
[disgust] Mnh.

Pony:
One -- A month and a half ago, Professor Cakes' girlfriend died. Two -- He must have really loved her because, looking at his research, he became obsessed with resurrecting her. Three -- He took a trip to Haiti, where he must have procured this spell. Four -- It states that, if it's done correctly, it will bring back to life, all the people that had died within one month prior to the spell's enactment. So...Cakes found a kid, Patient Zero, with no family, that could be his sacrifice. Five -- he contained the kid, he practiced the spell, and he built chambers in case anything went wrong.

Frank:
So his plan was to resurrect his choked-out girlfriend by killing Patient Zero and then resurrecting him, along with everybody else who had died on the planet within a month? I mean, that's -- That's crazy.

Pony:
Yep. But...six -- He did it wrong. The recipe clearly call for spiced rum. He used coconut rum. And seven -- Here we are.

Frank:
Hold on. If everyone who had died came back to life, I mean, that's -- That's newsworthy. I mean, had they never done this spell before?

Pony:
Well, it says that on none will remember except for the person casting the spell and the person sacrificed.

Frank:
So, wait. What does this mean? I mean, you're not thinking...

Pony:
Frank, we can do the spell and bring everyone back. Just one of us must die...temporarily.

Frank:
F*** no.

Pony:
I knew you'd say that. So...I'll be the sacrifice.

Frank:
Also, no.

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Submitted by timothyj.29104 on September 02, 2024


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    "China, Il Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Sep. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1282652>.

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