China, Il2011

[Pony plays Dungeons and Dragons]

Pony:
What do I look like?

[transitions to the next scene where Pony is in a imaginary game where she's in drawrven armor]

Cravid:
You're in level seven dwarven armor.

Pony:
No, I don't like this. It widens me. Where's the clothing hut?

Baby Cakes:
Pony, that armor is really good. It'll protect you.

Pony:
Whatever.

Pony:
Hey, yo, wenches.

Cravid:
Uh, what is she doing?

Pony:
I'm trading this man armor for some wench wear. Cravid, do they trade?

Cravid:
Well, yeah. You pretty much just gave them 100,000 realm bucks.

Pony:
Okay, cool. Now what?

Baby Cakes:
Well, now we go fight -- For blood crystals.

Pony:
Whoa, fight? Why? Are we d*cks? Why don't we just go in that bar and get drunk?

Matt Attack:
Finally! Let's go drink beer and f*** some ginger elven women. Boom!

Pony:
Oh, it's beer only? I want a girlie drink.

Baby Cakes:
Pony, please, you're embarrassing yourself. Okay, let's all go raid the Goblin's Watchtower.

Cravid:
Cool. So...

[imaginary sequence intensifies as one of the gang sneak pass from the goblin troll with a wand]

Pony:
Ooh, what's that pretty thing?

Baby Cakes:
Oh, you got so much to learn.

[Pony takes Goblin's wand]

Cravid:
Finally, someone selects the ultimate power and dexterity-enhancing weapon!

Baby Cakes:
What?! What the f***?

Pony:
Cool, cool. Now what? Roll a die? Roll at someone? B.C., I roll at you.

Baby Cakes:
No, no, wait, don't!

[Pony rolls the die]

Cravid:
Pony has gained initiative. If she cares to strike...

Pony:
Yeah, I strike.

[Pony rolled a 20]

Cravid:
[mortified] Baby Cakes, mightiest of all leaders...you are slain.

[Baby Cakes does a dramatic lose act]