China, Il2011

[Frank coaches Baby Cakes in BC's room]

Frank Smith:
God, it's so stuffy in here! You know you have a ceiling fan, right?

Baby Cakes:
I try not to look up so I won't break the fourth wall of God's TV.

Frank Smith:
Whatever. Just walk me through your day.

Baby Cakes:
Well, I have one small glass of vodka mixed with sweet and sour sauce every hour on the hour from my padme cup.

Frank Smith:
Oh, my god. You're a mindless hog. Okay, then what?

Baby Cakes:
Then I do two things that keep a horrible villain from appearing on campus. First, I eat seven scrambled chocolate eggs.

Frank Smith:
Okay. Then?

Baby Cakes:
Then, oh, then...I sh*t in all the potted plants around campus.

Frank Smith:
Okay, THAT is the first thing you stop doing.

Baby Cakes:
I'm serious! [shows him a picture of the easter bunny] He's magic.

Frank Smith:
Wha-- The easter bunny?

Baby Cakes:
I don't know. He's rabbit-looking and bunny-acting, friend of Jesus Christ.

Frank Smith:
Yeah, he's a fictional character.

Baby Cakes:
Well, I claim our territory by sh*tting in the plants. If I don't, he'll show up and claim this territory as his, and I don't want that.

Frank Smith:
Well, I didn't want to burn down my hoard house, but neither of us want to be Chris Browns.

Baby Cakes:
Hey, who is he by the way?

Frank Smith:
Chris Brown is a cannibal who eats people in parked cars.

Baby Cakes:
Whoa, okay, yeah, I don't want any part of being Chris Brown.