Stroker and Hoop

Stroker and Hoop2004

Director: Casper Kelly and Jeffrey G. Olsen
Genre: Action, Comedy
Stroker and Hoop are a pair of private investigators from Los Angeles, who act and dress as if it is still the 1970s. Despite their individual high opinions of themselves, both men are hopelessly inept at their job. Stroker fancies himself a suave l… more »



Stroker:
Hey, Double-Wide. Mind if I watch the game here? Cable idiots say they didn't get my check.

Double-Wide:
Stroker! Have a cigar.

Stroker:
Whoa, don't mind if I do.

Double-Wide:
You're just in time to check out my new invention. This one is gonna make me rich. Ta-da! [reveals his invention]

Stroker:
Looks like one of those ashtray air purifier things.

Double-Wide:
[laughs] One of those ashtray purifier things. Oh, Stroker! But wait. What have we here? Oh, my god! It opens up! Is that a mouth-watering rotisserie chicken smoking to perfection inside? Holy smokes, it is! It purifies the air while it smokes your meats. It's the Holy Smoker.

[Double-Wide shows Stroker an infomercial]

Double-Wide:
Let me show you my infomercial. You guys can focus group it for me.

Todd:
[on TV] You've heard all about the amazing ToddCo Lint Loom, right folks? Which takes ordinary dryer lint and weaves amazing designer sweaters just like the one I'm wearing now...

Double-Wide:
Well, well. Look who we have here. My old nemesis.

Todd:
Listen, it's nothing compared to what I am about to unveil. Do you want to remove the smell of tobacco from your home?

Double-Wide:
Of course.

Todd:
And do you love smoked ham?

Double-Wide:
Damn straight! Wait, what the hell?

Todd:
Introducing the ToddCo Secondhand Smoker.

Todd's Assistant:
Goodbye black lung, hello blackened snapper. [laughs]

Double-Wide:
That bastard stole my million dollar idea -- Again!

Stroker:
Double-Wide! Double-Wide, simmer down. It's just a coincidence.

Double-Wide:
Coincidence? Look at this. I call it my box of broken dreams. It's every invention that Todd beat me to market with. My home Liposuction Kit, the Blubber Scrubber.

Stroker:
I recognize that thing with the spring.

Double-Wide:
The Scrotum Hair Trimmer, rad-nads.

Stroker:
Yeah, that thing doesn't work for crap.

Double-Wide:
Yes, it does!

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Submitted by timothyj.29104 on September 30, 2024

Modified by timothyj.29104 on September 30, 2024


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    "Stroker and Hoop Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Nov. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1283381>.

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