Stroker and Hoop2004

Todd:
[on phone with Stroker] I want you to bring me that disk and your friend Double-Wide, or else.

Stroker:
Or else what?

Todd:
I'm here with someone very special to you. And every 15 minutes, we're gonna cut off a finger.

Stroker:
Oh, god. Keith.

Todd:
Guess again.

Stroker:
Hoop?

Todd:
Nope.

Stroker:
Angel?

Todd:
Your girlfriend.

Stroker:
...Um, I don't have a girlfriend.

Vicky:
[to Todd] Give me the phone. [to Stroker] Don't play stupid. We've got Paula.

Stroker:
Paula, Paula, Paula. God, man, mmm...

Vicky:
I'm losing patience. Dr. Paula Bowman.

Stroker:
My dermatologist? She's not my girlfriend.

Vicky:
Play the tape.

[Surveillance Guy plays the tape of Stroker and Double-Wide while having a secret camera in the car]

Stroker:
I know, it was the weirdest thing. I mean, there she is giving me a hernia check and uh, hey, I guess she liked what she saw, you know--

Double-Wide:
Your dermatologist?

Stroker:
Well, yeah, I mean, it started as a mole check, you know, but one thing led to another and, uh, we did it on that bench thing with the crinkly paper and now she's my lady.

Dr. Paula Bowman:
That never happened.

Stroker:
[on phone] Yeah, I think your machine mistaped or something. Sorry, guys. Not gonna risk my life for my dermatologist.

Vicky:
Cut off her finger.

Stroker:
Wait, what?

Todd:
[to Paula] Now, don't worry, you won't feel a thing. It has a patented self-sharpening edge that can slice through tin cans like watermelon. It also juliennes.

Dr. Paul Bowman:
NO!

Stroker:
Alright, alright, ok! I'll bring the damn disk.

Vicky:
Meet us at Camino Ensino Los Padres if you ever want to see your dermatologist with fingers again. [hangs up]

Stroker:
Camino Ensino Los Padres, Camino Ensino Los Padres-- Oh, crap! Camino Ensino Los Robles -- Padres. Oh, Camin -- Crap. [calls the number again]

Stroker:
Uh, hey, could you give me that address again? I don't have a pen.

Vicky:
It's ToddCo Headquarters.

Stroker:
Well, you should've said that in the first place instead of trying to be all badass and--

Vicky:
14 minutes.

Stroker:
Wait a minute, you're going to count your bad directions?

Vicky:
[hangs up]

Stroker:
You b*tch!