Stroker and Hoop2004

[Stroker gets into interrogation of why he sneaks into Area 52]

Stroker:
I can explain everything.

Detective:
We went to your house. It was empty except for a few dozen bottles of pain pills and some "Alf" DVDs, you sick freak!

Stroker:
My house was empty because the FPI came and carted everything away. The pain pills and "Alf" DVDs aren't mine. They were for an alien named Khan'Ja.

Detective:
When you ran out of things to sell to pay for your pill addiction, you robbed your brother at gunpoint.

Stroker:
That was a business opportunity. He'll thank me someday.

Detective:
What did you mean when you told the guards you were the King of the Earthlings?

Stroker:
Let me start from the beginning. The other morning, I was out jogging--

Detective:
[slams desk] Now you expect me to believe you were jogging? I've heard enough.

Stroker:
Call the FPI. They know about the alien communicator.

Detective:
I don't need to call the FPI. They call me. And if you think Franklin Pharmaceuticals has--

Stroker:
Wait. What's Franklin Pharmaceuticals?

Detective:
FPI, Franklin Pharmaceuticals Incorporated. You were arrested trying to break in there to steal drugs. Now don't tell me you were too high to remember!

Stroker:
Don't be so naive. That's just a front for Area 52.

Detective:
Your brother is pressing charges.

Stroker:
Look, I have the account numbers and passwords right here. Here, give these to him.

Detective:
[reads the paper] Stroker's to-dos. "Rob brother to get money for pills. Return ALF DVDs".

Stroker:
No, there's some mistake.

Detective:
Stroker, stop, please. We found your suicide note.

Stroker:
What?

[Detective plays Stroker's message]

Stroker's Voice Message:
"Goodbye. I'll miss you. Where does this road lead to? I'm lost. The pain is unbearable. Where is the nearest pharmacy? My name is Stroker. This is not my home planet. I have to go now".

Stroker:
Oh, crap. KHAAAAN! Ja!