Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil2005

Satan:
Minions, worship me. Kneel before me.

Cult Members:
Praise Satan.

Satan:
Ten presidents have announced their candidacy in front of this unholy altar. We celebrate the quest for power. We desecrate this ground with blood and FIRE!

Cult Members:
Praise Satan!

Satan:
Bur first, please put your hands together for our opening act. You've seen him on "Premium Blend". Folks, please welcome the very funny Reggie Goldstein.

Reggie:
Yeah, alright. Let's keep it going for Satan. Huh? Keep it going for him. Satan.

Reggie:
Hey, I got to tell ya, I got to ask ya -- Has this ever happened to you? You're in the bathroom, like a public bathroom at the mall or something, and some guy's in the stall next to you, right, taking a big, old dump, and, uh, he does that thing where he's coughing 'cause he's trying to cover up the noise. But this guy, he's kind of missed. The timing's a little off, so he's like [coughs and make fart sounds] It's like, what's going on? It's a like a badly done karate movie.

Satan:
[laughs] Yes.

Reggie:
Um, yeah, you ever, uh, do that thing where you go to wipe your ass, and uh, the toilet paper...