Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil2005

Archie:
Vampire Altar Boys are preying on priests throughout the city -- Vampire choirboys, too.

Special Father #1:
All due respect, uh, Archie, but we got out of the vampire game a long time ago. We are searching now for the --

Archie:
I-I'm aware of your mission, Father, but this problem is especially acute for us. We believe this is the first wave of an all-out vampire assault against the church.

Special Father #1:
Archie, uh, the Jesuits have a great training program. I know three or four good vampire guys have come out --

Archie:
Dead.

Special Father #1:
What?

Archie:
Dead. They're all dead. You're our last hope.

Special Sister:
Sorry to interrupt. I don't know if you know much about the antichrist, but her presence on earth means the END OF DAYS! Vampire Choirboys will be the least of your problems if we don't complete our mission.

Special Father #2:
Hey, I got a idea. Maybe we kill the antichrist, and then we check in with you about the vampires before we go back to Rome.

Archie:
YOU WILL HELP US WITH THIS PROBLEM RIGHT NOW! [clears throat] Or perhaps you'd like to face criminal charges in this country for some of your less orthodox antichrist hunting methods.

[Archie shows pictures of the Special Fathers and Sister killing the good citizens throughout every episode they have gone through]

Special Sister:
WHAT THE [bleep]! The Pope himself sent us.

Special Father #1:
Sister! Sister!

Special Sister:
Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?

Special Father #1:
Stop.

Special Sister:
No.

Special Father #1:
Yes.

Special Sister:
[growls]

Special Father #1:
Thank you. Watch TV.

[Special Sister watches TV]

Special Father #1:
We understand, Archie. Perhaps we can help. After all, the concerns of the church are our concerns as well.

Special Father #1:
Oh! Oh, my god! I totally forgot. Uh, we left our vampire stuff back at Rome.