Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil2005

Lucy:
[on phone] I'm pregnant.

Satan:
[pauses] ...What? W-- Who's the father?

Lucy:
The Senator.

Satan:
...The Senator?

Lucy:
Mm-hmm.

Satan:
He's dead.

Lucy:
Well, it was before he died.

Satan:
Oh, right. Right, right, right. Of course. It takes time.

Lucy:
I did have sex with a dead senator monster if that's what you're implying.

Satan:
Well, I don't know what you're doing half the time. But that's good, though, right?

Lucy:
I have a monster baby growing inside me. You think that's good news?

Satan:
That's right. That's great! I'll keep the -- I can -- I'll take it.

Lucy:
What?

Satan:
I have the cage already.

Lucy:
WHAT?!

Satan:
I was mad that I lost the first monster.

Lucy:
Dad, I was kidding.

Satan:
Kidding about what?

Lucy:
I'm not pregnant with a monster baby. I never had sex with The Senator. I can't believe you were excited about this. I was trying to get you back for scaring me.

Satan:
That's so dumb. What a dumb joke. Why would you do that?

Lucy:
I just thought you'd say, "Oh, no"! And then I could say, "kidding ha ha", like how you always do to me.

Satan:
WELL, IT DID WORK! NOW I'M MAD!

Lucy:
Alright, then I guess --

Satan:
WHAT WRE YOU MAD ABOUT? YOUR JOKE WORKED! I BELIEVED THAT YOU WERE PREGNANT, AND THEN I GOT EXCITED 'CAUSE I WAS GONNA HAVE A MONSTER BABY.

Lucy:
Well, I guess I'm kind of mad that my Dad would be excited about the fact that I'd be pregnant with a monster baby.

Satan:
THAT'S WHAT I WANT! I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, AND I WANT A MONSTER! [sighs]