The Xtacles2008

A.L.E.X.:
Jack. [tired chuckle] I've got no record of villain named Rape Ape.

Jack Taggart:
Of course there's a Rape Ape. He's that guy who is going around raping these statues. Just put that in the file, access it, and read it back to me.

A.L.E.X.:
Ok, uh...here it is.

Jack Taggart:
Well, what does it say?

A.L.E.X.:
"Rape Ape -- That guy who is going around raping these statues".

Jack Taggart:
Case closed!

Chase Fontaine:
Boosh!

Xtacle #3:
Good job.

Xtacle #4:
That was easy.

A.L.E.X.:
No, Jack! Case not closed.

Jack Taggart:
What?

A.L.E.X.:
If Rape Ape existed, which to reiterate -- He doesn't, you'd still have to catch him.

Jack Taggart:
Ok fine, then what about this guy below Rape Ape.

A.L.E.X.:
Rapier Ape?

Jack Taggart:
Yeah and look at his name, Rapier Ape. He's obviously taken raping to a whole new level.

A.L.E.X.:
Rapier Ape is retired --

Joseph Bigsby:
Oh, my god! Tell me there isn't a Rapi-est ape!

Chase Fontaine:
Oh, my god!

A.L.E.X.:
Rapier Ape is retired, and he's called that because he wields a rapier.

Joseph Bigsby:
He...wields another rapist?

A.L.E.X.:
No, a rapier. It's a sword used in fencing.

Chase Fontaine:
That is just sick! He rapes people with a sword?!

Xtacle #4:
Man, that's gross.

Xtacle #3:
That is sick.

Joseph Bigsby:
Gosh, I'd rather be raped with a penis.

Jack Taggart:
And you just may get your wish.

Joseph Bigsby:
Wait.

Jack Taggart:
[to A.L.E.X.] Where is he now?

Joseph Bigsby:
No. It's not a wish.

A.L.E.X.:
God. Rapier Ape, retried from his life of crime, is currently employed at the theme restaurant, Funbeard's

Xtacle #5:
Ooh, Funbeards!

A.L.E.X.:
He makes use of his swashbuckling as one of their dinner theater actors.

Jack Taggart:
Alright people, this is serious. We've got hostages.

A.L.E.X.:
Those are tourists.

Jack Taggart:
A heavily fortified pirate ship...

A.L.E.X.:
That's actually a retrofitted sizzler.

Jack Taggart:
And an ape who is even rapier than Rape Ape.

A.L.E.X.:
Is my volume even on?