YOLO2020

Lucas:
Step away from her this instant! I'm the one that deserves Sarah! I've been wooing her for ages!

Winged Bat Guy:
Oh, I know. I did it to hurt you like you once hurt me. As soon as I saw you were attending this event, I know it was my time to strike.

Lucas:
Huh? What do you mean? I've never met you.

Winged Bat Guy:
Don't you remember me from high school, Lucas? Don't you remember our...little games?

[flashback intensifies where Teen Lucas and Winged Bat Guy plays a Dungeons and Dragons like game]

Teen Winged Bat Guy:
Lucas, you're drowning. What do you want to do?

Teen Lucas:
Hmm. Is there any driftwood?

Teen Winged Bat Guy:
You see a door floating nearby.

Teen Lucas:
I reach out for it.

Teen Winged Bat Guy:
I allow you a strength check to see if you pull yourself up.

Teen Lucas:
[rolls the dice] Success.

Teen Winged Bat Guy:
You've done it. You seize the door, you clamber on, and it's keeping you afloat. Now you notice that Fiona, my lady love, is within arm's reach. She's drowning too. What do you do?

Teen Lucas:
Hmm. Is there room on the door for two people?

Teen Winged Bat Guy:
Yes. Yes, there is.

Teen Lucas:
Hmm. How much does Fiona weigh?

Teen Winged Bat Guy:
What? S-She is of average weight. Average weight for a girl.

Teen Lucas:
Hmm. What is she wearing?

Teen Winged Bat Guy:
[irritated] A dress, man. She's a woman.

Teen Lucas:
You said she was a girl. A woman is heavier than a girl. And dresses get rather weighty when wet.

Teen Winged Bat Guy:
Uh, Fiona is only three feet away, Lucas. She splutters and coughs and reaches for you. You can save her!

Teen Lucas:
Hmm. Sorry. It's too risky. I watch Fiona slip beneath the waves. [thunder crack intensifies]

[flashback ends]

Winged Bat Guy:
Everyone knows it's always story over rules. Just like you didn't care about Fiona, I don't care about Sarah. I care about... [close up serious face] revenge.

Sarah Doyle:
What?

Lucas:
Touche, old friend. But what you didn't anticipate is that I've learned some judo tricks on YouTube over the years!

[Lucas and Winged Bat Guy get into a fight while being rotoscoped]