Eagleheart2011

Devil Worshipper:
Dear Satan, my dark master, lord of all that that is unholy, I offer you the soul of this pitiful delivery man. In return, please see to it that the permit for my new deck goes through without any holdups from the zoning commission. And now let me sign our contract IN BLOOD!

Chris Monsanto:
Sorry to interrupt. I was just in the neighborhood, and I just happened to see the world's most uninviting backyard. I had to meet the deckless son of a b*tch who lives here.

Devil Worshipper:
Who are you pigs?

Chris Monsanto:
Ah, I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Chris Monsanto, U.S. Marshal. Put 'er there.

[Devil Worshipper spits Chris' hand]

Chris Monsanto:
Oh. Don't want to shake my hand, huh?

[Chris break the Devil Worshipper's bones]

Chris Monsanto:
I guess I'll just have to shake my own hand...inside you.

[Chris shakes hand inside the Devil Worshipper's stomach]

Chris Monsanto:
How do I do? Well, nice to meet me. Oh, what a supple, soft hand I have. I must use palmolive...or guts!