Night Court1984

Dan Fielding:
[Enters courtroom angrily at Miss Beeker] You don't know what you're talking about, lady!

Alice Beeker:
Please, Mr. Fielding, it happens to a lot of men.

Dan Fielding:
Not to me, it doesn't!

Christine Sullivan:
Dan, what happened?

Dan Fielding:
They rejected me.

Alice Beeker:
Many are called, but few are frozen.

Christine Sullivan:
They rejected you? Why?

Alice Beeker:
His sperm is slow and immature.

Christine Sullivan:
Oh. I'm so sorry I asked.

Dan Fielding:
That's great. Why don't you just go ahead and tell the whole world while you're at it?

Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon:
[Excitedly] I'll start with the cafeteria! [runs out of the courtroom]

Harry Stone:
Miss Beeker, is this something abnormal?

Alice Beeker:
Oh, not at all. He just doesn't fit within our semen parameters.

Harry Stone:
Which are?

Alice Beeker:
Sixty million per cc.

Dan Fielding:
I demand a recount!

Alice Beeker:
You know Mr. Fielding your problem could be attributed to fatigue. How recent was your last sexual encounter?

Dan Fielding:
[Hesitates a few seconds] What time is it now?

Alice Beeker:
It would be no problem to retest you. But to be sure we have an accurate result I suggest you abstain for two weeks.

Harry Stone:
From sex?

Christine Sullivan:
Dan?

Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson:
I got twenty, says he doesn't make it back to his car.