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Secrets of Sex [1970]

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A Midsummer Night's Rave [2002]

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Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic [2005]

Jacques Bonnard:
I think you and I should have a little talk. Sit down, Bibi. Well, there is no need to ask you why you did what you did. The reason is obvious: you did it because... why did you do it?

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
I had a desire to know what would happen... if I kissed Mignonette the way Valentino did.

Jacques Bonnard:
You were curious.

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
Oui, curious.

Jacques Bonnard:
Nothing more.

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
There is something more, but I don't know what it is.

Jacques Bonnard:
Ah. Well. It is this 'something more' of which we shall speak. Now you see, Bibi, this... desire you have, it's a natural one, and since it is natural, it cannot be bad. It becomes bad only when the reason is bad. That is why so many people are mixed up

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
I, too, am mixed up.

Jacques Bonnard:
Well, of course! So am I. Well, let's try to unmix ourselves, shall we? Now, Bibi, we speak now of love. And where there is love, there is also desire; they go together. Love must have the desire; I don't believe there can be love without it. But, it is possible to have the desire without love, and this is where the world falls apart. For instance, you don't understand why the principal of your school beat you.

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
No, papa.

Jacques Bonnard:
Well, it is because he has been brought up to believe that the desire is wrong. And since he himself has the desire, he's even more mixed up than we are! He has been brought up in a world where the desire has been used so badly-so badly, believe me-that it itself is thought to be bad; and this is wrong. This is wrong, Bibi. And you know the reason for this condition? It is because so many people are without love.

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
Many people?

Jacques Bonnard:
Many.

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
Uncle Louis?

Jacques Bonnard:
You love your Uncle Louis, don't you?

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
I love him strongly.

Jacques Bonnard:
That's good. He has a great need of love. And without love, one is defeated.

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
But this love is different. The love I have for Uncle Louis is different from the love I have for you; this also is different from the way I love maman. And then... Mignonette.

Jacques Bonnard:
Eh, oui, Bibi. And this love we speak of now, when it is real, when it is true, it is the greatest love of all. I know; we have it here, in this house, Maman and I; it is the best, it is the most natural. In this way, the world comes down to a house, and a room, and a bed, and if there are two people in love there, then that is the whole world. Of course, you won't know this for many years. You know it is possible never to know it? I hope you will. If you are as lucky as I am, you will.

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
I will look for someone like Maman!

Jacques Bonnard:
Oh, no! No, no, no, no! On the contrary: the secret is not to imitate. Look for your heart's need, and then she will come. Well, I've talked enough, and still you don't know what I wish to say.

Robert 'Bibi' Bonnard:
I think I do.

Jacques Bonnard:
Well, perhaps, when we speak of this again, I will find better words.

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The Happy Time [1952]

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The Powerpuff Girls [1998]

Iris:
[first lines] I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

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The Holiday [2006]

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W.I.T.C.H. [2004]

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Jab Tak Hai Jaan [2012]

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Love Hina Again [2002]

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Boy Culture [2006]

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Urusei yatsura [1981]

Christian:
I've come to pay my bill. You made me believe you loved me! Why shouldn't I pay you?

[Nostalgia Chick is seething]

Brentalfloss:
Nostalgia Chick, you okay?

Nostalgia Chick:
Fine. I'm fine.

Christian:
Why can't I pay you like everyone else does?

Satine:
No, Christian, there's no point.

Brentalfloss:
Seriously, you don't look so good.

Nostalgia Chick:
I'm fine damn it! Fine!

Christian:
This woman is yours now. I've paid my whore! And you are nothing to me.

Nostalgia Critic:
Admit it, Chick. There's something you really hate about this scene, isn't there? It isn't just silly and stupid like the other scenes. There's something you really despise!

Brentalfloss:
No, there isn't.

Nostalgia Critic:
What is it about this movie that drives you absolutely insaaane?

Nostalgia Chick:
Christian is a complete twat!

Nostalgia Critic, Brentalfloss:
Christian's a twat?

Nostalgia Chick:
Yeah! Truly in love? That's such bullshit! Oh, all you need is love. Love, love, love, love... Who treated anyone they truly loved this way? Why would you slutshame her in front of an entire audience of people? Who calls that love? That's not love, that's bitterness!

Nostalgia Critic:
Well, because she lied to him, and he thought she was playing him the whole time.

Brentalfloss:
Yeah, I'd think you'd be more pissed at her than him.

Nostalgia Chick:
Oh sure, her actions are abjectly stupid and she's the victim of bad, stupid writing. But him? He's just despicable! He's evil! For as many times as he sings about looove, he treats her in the most insulting, dirty, mean-spirited way that you can treat a human being. And the dwarf's over here like "Oh, she wouldn't do that!" and yet him, the one that's in love with her can't figure this out? "Oh yeah, love! I forgot about that! That's right! I'm sorr... you know what, I'm not even sorry, but we're still in love. So let's sing about it! In front of everyone and everything's okay! Oh wait, you're dead. Awww." How would you feel if your loved one had some stupid misunderstanding that sprung from bad writing and then threw out all of their negative, horrible bile in one fell swoop... In front of everybody!

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The Nostalgia Critic [2007]

Dude Love:
Owww, have mercy! Hunter and especially your finer Chyna, I know what you must be thinking. 'Dude, what are you doing back here, when you should be out there kicking some heavy duty booty all over the garden?' Hunter my man, I do believe it's time we had a little rap, oh-ho. Because you see, falls count anywhere ain't exactly my bag baby. The pinfalls in the hot dog stands, the pinfalls in the street, the chairs, the tables, it's not exactly a Love thing. But I know somebody, baby, who's bag it indeed is. He's my man, he's my main man, you might even say, well daddy, he's a Kind man. A kooky type of cat, let's bring him out right now. [Mankind's music plays as Mankind walks into the picture] Mankind, my main mandible- up high big man, down low, owww you're too slow. Mankind, good to have you at the Love Shack.

Mankind:
Hey Dude. Thanks for having me here.

Dude Love:
The pleasure's all mine.

Mankind:
You really are eye candy for the chicks, Dude.

Dude Love:
That much I know, Daddy, but first you got to tell me about this wacky match: Falls count anywhere.

Mankind:
Dude, as much as I've dreamed about destroying Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

Dude Love:
I know you have.

Mankind:
As many horrible things as I'd like to do to him.

Dude Love:
I know you can.

Mankind:
I know someone who dreams about it even more.

Dude Love:
Oh no, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?

Mankind:
I think I am thinking what you think I think you're thinking

Dude Love:
Can you bring him out, Manny? Where is he?

Mankind:
CACTUS JACK... IS BACK!

Dude Love:
Somebody spank me, I thought he was dead.

Mankind:
He's alive.

Cactus Jack:
Hunter, it may be the darkest day of your life, but this is Madison Square Garden, and Mrs. Foley's baby boy is finally home! BANG BANG!

Mankind:
Have a nice day!

Dude Love:
Owww have mercy!

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WWE Monday Night RAW [1993]

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Behind the Candelabra [2013]

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Cyrano de Bergerac [1990]

[singing]

Melissa Cherry:
When you love me right up front, you know that I don't mind. But what I really want is for you, to take me from behind. I don't mind, no. I don't mind. Take me from be-hi-i-i-ind...

Melissa Cherry:
Are you ready? Mmmm. Down on my knees. Baby, when we kiss, my heart just skips a beat. And when you hold my hand, oh, I can hardly speak. But there's one kinda lovin' that I can't do face to face. So, let me give you some affection - just below your waist. Oh, yeah! I'm down on my knees for you. I'm begging please, please for you. Oh! I've got so much love, I need to show it. It's a big job, I don't want to blow it. Oh! Oh, yeah. Oh! Baby. Down on my knees, begging please please.

Melissa Cherry:
Shoot your love, baby. Tell me why must you hide that love, that love you got inside. It's been building up so long. Yeah! And that feeling's oh so strong. So baby, shoot your love all over me. Oh! Drown me in a milky sea. Love all over me. Hey, baby! It's you and I, for eternity, for eternity. That's why you've got to shoot your love over me. Oh, yeah, yeah! When I look at you, ba-by, I see a man full of spunk. But what good is it to me, locked away in that trunk? I don't need more roses. No, that would be just reckless. The gift I want from you is my very own pearl necklace. Shoot your love all over me. Hey! Drown me in a milky sea. Love all over me. Ooh, baby! It's you and I, you and I, for eternity, for eternity. That's why you've got to shoot your love all over me.

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The Onion Movie [2008]

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Dinosaurs [1991]

Buddy Love:
Ok, fat jokes! You wanna do fat jokes? Alright! Your mother's so fat, the bitch needs Thomas Guide to find her asshole! Alright! Wait, wait, wait, your mother's so fat, after sex I roll over twice, and I'm still on the bitch! Your mother is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck! Reggie's mother's so fat, that the bitch gets her toenails painted at Earl Scheib! Earl Scheib! At Earl Scheib! HAHAHAHAHAHA! [walks onto the stage, still laughing hysterically]

Reggie Warrington:
Hey, hey, get off the stage, man! You ain't in show business.

Buddy Love:
Reggie's mama is so fat, her blood type is Rocky Road! His mother is so fat, her belt size is Equator. Get it, equator. Let's give a big round of applause for Reggie's mama's ass, that brought us so much joy tonight. That's a big ass!

Reggie Warrington:
ENOUGH! SILENCE! I can't take this shit no more! Now you done talked about me enough, boy! I tried to be peaceful, but now it's time for Reggie to "Karatacize" your ass!

Buddy Love:
Whooooo!

Reggie Warrington:
Aw yeah.

[Reggie takes off hat, revealing his ridiculous-looking hair, and Buddy and the audience start laughing.]

Buddy Love:
Oh, Reggie! I've heard of "Dreadlocks", but "Shitlocks?!" That's not your hair! Take that pile of shit off your head, man! You’re craz- you just go too far with the comedy!

Reggie Warrington:
[karate yells] Come on! Come on!

Buddy Love:
What’s that?

Reggie Warrington:
Aw yeah, that’s my style boy, you didn’t know Reggie studied.

Buddy Love:
What style is that?

Reggie Warrington:
It’s called "kick your ass style", boy!

Buddy Love:
Oh shit.

Reggie Warrington:
Reggie done studied on the streets!

[Reggie tries to kick Buddy, but Buddy grabs his foot, and flips him over. Buddy laughs hysterically, Reggie glowers, and turns back around]

Reggie Warrington:
Aw, you quick, but I’m quicker. Watch my feet.

Buddy Love:
Well come on with it.

Reggie Warrington:
Imma come on with it, Imma come on with it, Imma co-[karate yells again]

[Reggie tries to punch him, but Buddy grabs his arm, twists it, and bangs his head on the edge of the piano. He and Buddy sit at the piano.]

Buddy Love:
Ladies and gentlemen, me and Reggie wanna send one out to a very special lady in the house tonight! [to Carla Purdy] Loving you, is easy ‘cause you're beautiful! Do-do-do-do-do! Reggie?

[Buddy cracks Reggie's hand]

Reggie Warrington:
AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHH... leggo.

Buddy Love:
That was pretty! Ladies and gentlemen, Reggie has left the building! Thank you, and good night!

[Buddy throws Reggie into the piano.]

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The Nutty Professor [1996]

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The Good Shepherd [2006]

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La tête en friche [2010]

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Truly Madly Deeply [1991]

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Screen Two [1985]

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3 Men and a Little Lady [1990]

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The Twilight Zone [1959]

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