Search results for 'love' Page #1,015

[The Mic Host sighs, picks up the Pick of Destiny. His eyes gleam with delight as he looks eerily round before revealing his true form as Satan.]

Jables:
Dude, I figured out, we can still use the Pick - I use it in one hand and you can use it in the other, its still compatible - Whaaa? Where is that Pick?

[both look up and see a gigantic fiery Satan resplendent in his evil glory]

Jables and KG:
[jumping in fear] Ah!

[Satan reattaches the Pick and returns to full power]

Satan:
[singing]] I am complete! Yes you are fucked, shit out of luck, now I'm complete and my cock you will suck! This world will be mine, and you're first in line, you bought me the Pick and now you shall both die!

[luckily, JB jumps in]

JB:
Waaait! Waaait! Waaaait you motherfucker! We challenge you, to play a rock-off challenge! [Satan sighs] Yeah, that's one chance you have to rock your socks off...

[silence]

Satan:
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The Demon Code prevents me, from declining a rock-off challenge, quick, name your terms, what's the caaa-aatch?

Jables:
If we win, you must take, your sorry ass back to Hell. And you will have to pay our reee-eee-eent.

Satan:
And if I win?

Jables:
[not thinking straight] Then you can take Kage back to Hell.

Kage:
What?

Jables:
Trust me Kage, its the only way.

Kage:
But what are you talking about?

Jables:
To be your love bitch!

Satan:
Fine! Fine! Let the rock off, begin! Mwahahahaha! [hardcore rock] I'm the Devil I love metal! Check this lick its fucking tasty, mwahaha! I'm the Devil I can do what I want, I can rock my ass in this flaunt, there's never been a rock off I've ever lost! I can't wait to take Kage back to Hell, I'm going to lick him with my hot demon gel, I'm going to squeal him like my scarlett pimpernel!

[Satan shows torture and sex instruments causing JB to yell no!]

JB:
NO! Ok Kage, let's fight his music, with our music.

Kage:
There's just no way we can win, that was a masterpiece.

JB:
Listen to me!

Kage:
He rocks so hard because he is not a mortal man!

JB:
Goddamnit Kage! He's going to make you his sex slave! You're gonna gurgle mayonnaise!

Kage:
Ohhh!

JB:
Unless we bust this massive mammojam!

Kage:
But JB, we've been through so much shit.

JB:
Deactivating lasers with my dick. Now it's time to blow this fucker down. Come on Kage, now it's time to blow doors down!

Kage:
I hear you Jables now its time to blow doors down!

JB:
Line up the stage cos its time for the showdown, but then we get to take this around town! Now we get to blow this fucker down! Come on Kage he's gonna get you if you don't blow this fucker down! We know your secret, your rock is faulty! Your rock can't hurt us or blow our minds, we're gonna defeat you, for all mankind, you hold the Sceptre, you hold the Key, you are the Devil, we are the D! We are the D we are the D we are the D we are the D we are the D we are the D we are the D!

[music ends]

Satan:
You guys are fucking lame! Come on Kage you're coming with me!!

[the Peanuts characters show off their geography schoolwork]

Linus Van Pelt:
I love Geography Day! [shows off a map of Italy] I got Italy!

Lucy Van Pelt:
[showing off a map of Russia] I got Russia!

Charlie Brown:
[showing off a map of Iraq] I got Iraq.

[The penguins, having been captured by the vending machine are flown to a submarine in Venice; Skipper looks around from the cage]

Skipper:
Kowalski, analysis.

Kowalski:
All evidence indicates... [his stomach grumbles] Oooh, I ate too many Cheezy Dibbles. [Private coughs out an orange cloud of dust]

Skipper:
We're behind enemy lines and incredibly thirsty. Rico, bust us out of these delicious prison. [Rico sticks out his tongue holding a paper clip and uses it to unlock the cage door.] Nice work, Rico. You're a meaningful and valued member of this team. [As the penguins exit the cage, Private becomes upset. Then he looks at the paper clip, takes it and swallows it. He tries coughing it up, but no success] Private, quit lollygagging… and regular gagging.

Private:
Sorry.

Skipper:
It's dark and ominous. 2 of my least favorite traits in a room.

Private:
Ooh, look, a button!

Skipper:
Huh? Private, don't! [Private pushes the button anyway and the platform underneath them descends and they drop down to another room] Now what have I told you about–?

Private:
[presses another button] Sorry, what? [A giant ray wheels to them and a laser pops out pointing at the penguins]

Kowalski:
It looks like some sort of giant laser sent to kill us all, sir. [Skipper steps back from the laser's angle]

Private:
Ooh, another one!

Skipper, Kowalski and Rico:
NO! [they stop Private from pushing the button. Suddenly, drops of water comes down on the panel and on the flippers. The penguins look up to see a scientist in a white lab coat and red hair.]

Scientist:
Naughty, naughty. Pretty birds belong in their cages. [seen walking on the catwalk, but the camera shows that he is walking upside down. He drops down and his limbs are tangled up. The penguins groan in disgust. The scientist gets himself in that tangled position and screws his head right]

Penguins:
Ew!

Scientist:
Now, that's just hurtful. [untangles himself] And I was so happy to see you again, Skipper… [Skipper gasps] ...Kowalski, Rico, and sweet little Private. [flicks Private's beak] Boop!

Skipper:
Who are you?

Scientist:
The humans know me as Dr. Octavius Brine - enowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives… but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hope you'd never hear again, a phantom, a shadow of a former life! I... am... [a purple octopus emerges from the costume of Dr. Brine] Dave!

[the penguins gave long surprised looks at Dave with the Dr. Brine wig still on his head]

Skipper:
Kowalski?

Kowalski:
Sorry, sir. No clue.

Dave:
[takes off the hairpiece] (That's better.) Dave!

Kowalski:
Dave...

Dave:
Dave.

Skipper:
Dave?

Dave:
Dave.

Private:
Dave.

Dave:
Dave!

Rico:
[rolls his eyes] Bleh.

[Dave gives a confused look. A cricket chirp is heard. The penguins look down to see a cricket doing the chirp, who then stops]

A cricket:
Sorry. [leaves, then stops and turns] Wait, wait. Uh, I live this way. [leaves] (Carry on!)

Skipper:
Go ahead, Dan, continue.

Dave:
(Now… where were we? Oh, right.) You seriously don't remember me?

Skipper:
Dave! Dave! Right! Oh yeah, long time. Uh, how's the wife?

Dave:
[punches the wall above Skipper's head] I've never been married! You may not remember me, but I could never forget... you. [grabs a snow globe and shakes it] Let's shake up some old memories. New York City - the Central Park Zoo. [scene changes showing years ago at the Central Park Zoo, showing Dave's old tank, where he entertains people with his tricks] Life was good. Roomy tank, great location, monkey house views, and of course, my adoring legions of fans!

Girl:
Cool!

Dave:
[voiceover] Dave the octopus of 1,000 tricks! [his tentacle goes through his ear bringing a ball through]

Boy:
Awesome!

Dave:
[voiceover] I was the total package. [takes a jar and squeezes himself in and squirts ink making him hover]

Dad:
Hey, kids! Get up here! You need to see this!

Mother:
Come on, kids! Come on!

[Dave, confused, comes out of the water and sees baby Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private]

Dave:
[voiceover] And then you arrived...

Man:
Oh, they're so adorable!

Baby Skipper:
Just, uh... smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

Dave:
[voiceover] ...And took everything from me.

Girl:
They're so adorable!

Woman:
Have you ever seen anything cute?

[Dave has been taken from his tank and put in a box in a truck]

Dave:
[voiceover] 4 adorable baby penguins! With you around, no one wanted an old octopus anymore.

Zookeeper:
Out you go, Dave!

[scene changes to the San Diego Zoo, with Dave in his tank next to a penguin exhibit]

Dave:
And so it went, over and over again. At Zoo...

Girl:
Dad look!

Dave:
After aquarium.

Penguin Fan:
I can't see the penguins, man! [a zookeeper rolls Dave away]

Dave:
[voiceover] Adorable penguins stole the show.

Penguin Fan:
Whoo! Yeah!

'[Dave is shipped to the Brazil zoo, when people watch the penguins dance. Dave stares there sad as an employee goes to the restroom and water is let out of Dave's tank.]

Dave:
While I was shunned… forgotten… unwanted… [flashback ends] ...Alone.

Private:
That sounds awful!

Dave:
Oh, it was. I came to realize some creatures are born to get all the love. The rest of us get nothing! The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my burning thirst for revenge! [Skipper and Kowalski stare confusedly] And my precious souvenir snow globe collection. [sees Rico swallowing all the snow globes] Ah! What is wrong with you?!

Rico:
[mumbles] I dunno.

Skipper:
Oh, Daryl, Daryl, Daryl. You can't blame us for what happened to you.

Dave:
[grabs a canister of green goop] Uh, can! That's how this whole revenge thing works! And with this, I've finally have the power to destroy you!

Private:
Crikey!

[The performance of "Don Juan the Triumphant" is going on]

Chorus:
[sings] Here the sire may serve the dam, here the master takes his meat! Here the sacrificial lamb, utters one despairing bleat!

Carlotta and Chorus:
Poor young maiden! For the thrill on your tongue of stolen sweets, you will have to pay the bill -tangled in the winding sheets! Serve the meal and serve the maid! Serve the master so that, when tables, plans and maids are laid, Don Juan triumphs once again!

[Piangi, as Don Juan, emerges from behind the arch]

Piangi:
[as Don Juan, sings] Passarino, faithful friend, once again recite the plan!

Passarino:
[sings] Your young guest believes I'm you - I, the master, you, the man.

Piangi:
When you met you wore my cloak, she could not have seen your face. She believes she dines with me, in her master's borrowed place! Furtively, we'll scoff and quaff, stealing what, in truth, is mine. When it's late and modesty starts to mellow with the wine...

Passarino:
You come home! I use your voice - slam the door like crack of doom!

Piangi:
I shall say: "come - hide with me! Where, oh, where? Of course - my room!"

Passarino:
Poor thing hasn't got a chance!

Piangi:
Here's my hat, my cloak and sword. Conquest is assured, if I do not forget myself and laugh!

[Laughs broadly and Piangi goes backstage; the Phantom falls upon him and the 'magic lasso' makes short work of him]

Christine:
[as Aminta, sings] No thoughts within her head, but thoughts of joy. No dreams within her heart, but dreams of love!

Passarino:
Master?

[The Phantom emerges, disguised as Don Juan; person playing Passarino stares at him, startled]

The Phantom:
[sings quietly] Passarino - go away, for the trap is set and waits for its prey...

[Passarino leaves quickly; Christine looks up, startled at his voice]

The Phantom:
[sings as he slowly approaches Christine] You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge. In pursuit of that wish which 'til now has been silent... Silent... I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge. In your mind you've already succumbed to me. Dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me. Now you are here with me. No second thoughts. You've decided... Decided... Past the point of no return. No backward glances, Our games of make-believe are at an end. Past all thought of if or when, No use resisting, abandon thought and let the dream descend! What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desires unlock its door? What sweet seductions lie before us? Past the point of no return. The final threshold. What warm unspoken secrets will we learn beyond the point of no return?

Christine:
You have brought me to that moment where words run dry, to that moment where speech disappears into silence... silence... I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why, In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining, defenseless and silent, and now I am here with you: no second thoughts. I've decided... Decided... Past the point of no return, no going back now. Our passion play has now at last begun. Past all thought of right or wrong. One final question: how long should we two wait before we're one? When will the blood begin to race? The sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames at last consume us?

The Phantom and Christine:
Past the point of no return. The final threshold! The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn! We've passed the point of no return.

[From the crowd Raoul watches with shocked tears filling his eyes]

The Phantom:
[holding Christine] Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me from my solitude. Say you'll want me with you here beside you. Anywhere you go, let me go too. Christine, that's all I ask of-

[Christine suddenly pulls off his mask, exposing his face to the world; people begin to shriek; Phantom stares numbly at Christine for a moment, then cuts the rope holding chandelier; it begins to fall as people panic and run; the Phantom grabs Christine and both fall from the stage and through the stage floor; the opera catches fire and begins to burn; Carlotta starts to weep when she find a dead Piangi]

Carlotta:
Piangi, my love! [wails]

Andre:
Oh my God!

Firmin:
We're ruined, André - ruined!

Raoul:
[stops Madam Giry] Where did he take her?!

Madame Giry:
Come with me, monsieur! I will take you to him! But remember: keep your hand at the level of your eyes!

Meg:
I'll come with you!

Madame Giry:
No Meg, no you must stay here! [grabs Raoul's hand] Come with me, monsieur, come with me!

Meg:
No!

[The performance of “Don Juan the Triumphant” is going on]

Chorus:
[sings] Here the sire may serve the dam, here the master takes his meat! Here the sacrificial lamb, utters one despairing bleat!

Carlotta and Chorus:
Poor young maiden! For the thrill on your tongue of stolen sweets, you will have to pay the bill -tangled in the winding sheets! Serve the meal and serve the maid! Serve the master so that, when tables, plans and maids are laid, Don Juan triumphs once again!

[Piangi, as Don Juan, emerges from behind the arch]

Piangi:
[as Don Juan, sings] Passarino, faithful friend, once again recite the plan!

Passarino:
[sings] Your young guest believes I'm you - I, the master, you, the man.

Piangi:
When you met you wore my cloak, she could not have seen your face. She believes she dines with me, in her master's borrowed place! Furtively, we'll scoff and quaff, stealing what, in truth, is mine. When it's late and modesty starts to mellow with the wine...

Passarino:
You come home! I use your voice - slam the door like crack of doom!

Piangi:
I shall say: "come - hide with me! Where, oh, where? Of course - my room!"

Passarino:
Poor thing hasn't got a chance!

Piangi:
Here's my hat, my cloak and sword. Conquest is assured, if I do not forget myself and laugh!

[Laughs broadly and Piangi goes backstage; the Phantom falls upon him and the ‘magic lasso’ makes short work of him]

Christine:
[as Aminta, sings] No thoughts within her head, but thoughts of joy. No dreams within her heart, but dreams of love!

Passarino:
Master?

[The Phantom emerges, disguised as Don Juan; person playing Passarino stares at him, startled]

The Phantom:
[sings quietly] Passarino - go away, for the trap is set and waits for its prey...

[Passarino leaves quickly; Christine looks up, startled at his voice]

The Phantom:
[sings as he slowly approaches Christine] You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge. In pursuit of that wish which 'til now has been silent... Silent... I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge. In your mind you've already succumbed to me. Dropped all defenses, completely succumbed to me. Now you are here with me. No second thoughts. You've decided... Decided... Past the point of no return. No backward glances, Our games of make-believe are at an end. Past all thought of if or when, No use resisting, abandon thought and let the dream descend! What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desires unlock its door? What sweet seductions lie before us? Past the point of no return. The final threshold. What warm unspoken secrets will we learn beyond the point of no return?

Christine:
You have brought me to that moment where words run dry, to that moment where speech disappears into silence... silence... I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why, In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining, defenseless and silent, and now I am here with you: no second thoughts. I’ve decided... Decided... Past the point of no return, no going back now. Our passion play has now at last begun. Past all thought of right or wrong. One final question: how long should we two wait before we're one? When will the blood begin to race? The sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames at last consume us?

The Phantom and Christine:
Past the point of no return. The final threshold! The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn! We've passed the point of no return.

[From the crowd Raoul watches with shocked tears filling his eyes]

The Phantom:
[holding Christine] Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me from my solitude. Say you'll want me with you here beside you. Anywhere you go, let me go too. Christine, that's all I ask of-

[Christine suddenly pulls off his mask, exposing his face to the world; people begin to shriek; Phantom stares numbly at Christine for a moment, then cuts the rope holding chandelier; it begins to fall as people panic and run; the Phantom grabs Christine and both fall from the stage and through the stage floor; the opera catches fire and begins to burn; Carlotta starts to weep when she find a dead Piangi]

Carlotta:
Piangi, my love! [wails]

Andre:
Oh my God!

Firmin:
We're ruined, André - ruined!

Raoul:
[stops Madam Giry] Where did he take her?!

Madame Giry:
Come with me, monsieur! I will take you to him! But remember: keep your hand at the level of your eyes!

Meg:
I’ll come with you!

Madame Giry:
No Meg, no you must stay here! [grabs Raoul’s hand] Come with me, monsieur, come with me!

Meg:
No!

[The phone rings. Tara Carpenter answers it]

Tara:
Hello?

Ghostface:
Hello. [speaking in the manner and tone of a slightly nervous man] Is Christina there?

Tara:
No, she's not available. May I take a message?

Ghostface:
Uh, yeah, um...yeah, sorry. I'm a friend of hers from group...oh, shit!

Tara:
"From her shit?"

Ghostface:
Um, look, just, uh, tell her I'm from group. I'm Charlie. She's got my number.

Tara:
Oh, she goes to your group?

Ghostface:
I shouldn't have...um, just tell her that Charlie called.

Tara:
And I will do exactly that, Charlie. Why don't you tell me what kind of group we're talking about? Is it A&A? NA?

Ghostface:
Well, you sound exactly like she describes you.

Tara:
Uh, she talks about me in group?

Ghostface:
Uh, I don't think I can really talk about that.

Tara:
What does she say about me?

Ghostface:
Well, she loves you very much.

Tara:
Oh, what does she love about me?

Ghostface:
Uh, okay, well, she loves that you're creative. You love art and TV and movies.

Tara:
Okay, well, lots of people love movies.

Ghostface:
Yeah, but she says you love scary movies, and that you guys have that in common. She's proud of making a fan out of you.

Tara:
She is?

Ghostface:
Yeah. She told me the other day, she wonders... [Speaks in his normal tone] What's your favorite scary movie?

Tara:
Uh, The Babadook. It's an amazing meditation on motherhood and grief.

Ghostface:
[chuckles] Isn't that a little...fancy-pants?

Tara:
Well, it's elevated horror.

Ghostface:
Uh-huh. Uh, what does that mean? "Elevated horror"?

Tara:
You know, it's like scary, but with complex, emotional and dynamic underpinnings. It's not just some schlocky, cheeseball nonsense with wall-to-wall jump scares.

Ghostface:
Hmm. That sounds kind of boring to me. Have you ever seen "Stab"?

Tara:
Once, I think. I was a little girl. I was, like, 12.

Ghostface:
You live in Woodsboro, and you don't know "Stab"? Well, your mom loves that movie. She talks about it all the time in group. How well do you remember the original?

Tara:
I don't know. I mean, it's, like, super-90s. It was really over-lit and everyone had weird hair.

Ghostface:
Uh-huh. Do you remember the beginning?

Tara:
Not really. It started with a kill scene, right? They always started with a kill scene.

Ghostface:
Yeah, that's right. That's right. It's a girl at home, alone. She answers the wrong number and starts talking with the killer, who makes her play a game. [beat] Would you like to play a game...Tara?

[Becoming uneasy, Tara hangs up and uses her phone to lock the doors. She sends a message to her friend Amber before closing the curtains. Another phone rings, and Amber sends a message telling Tara to answer the phone. When Tara questions that how does Amber know this, she gets a reply that says, "This isn't Amber", and then more replies demanding her to answer the phone. Scared, Tara answers the phone]

Tara:
This isn't fucking funny, Amber!

Ghostface:
I told you. This isn't Amber. [Tara sees a video message on her phone, revealing Amber being filmed at her bedroom] Amber's looking particularly fetching tonight. She really shouldn't leave her phone lying around for anyone to clone.

Tara:
What do you want?

Ghostface:
I told you. I wanna play a game. "Stab" movie trivia. Three rounds. You call the cops, she dies. You get a question wrong, she dies. Her parents aren't at home. I can be in that room in, like, 15 seconds. You want a warm-up question?

Tara:
[crying] I told you, I don't know about any of these movies! Ask me about something I do know! Ask me about It Follows! Ask me about Hereditary! Ask me about The Witch!

Ghostface:
In the first "Stab" movie, what Woodsboro name was introduced as the franchise's main character?

Tara:
It's Sidney Prescott! It's Sidney Prescott, and she lived on Elm.

Ghostface:
Correct! You see? You're gonna do great at this. Okay, Question 1.

Tara:
No, no, no, no, no! I got that one right! It should count!

Ghostface:
Anyone could've gotten that one right. Sidney's in every movie but the last one. Question 1: Who wrote the original book that the "Stab" movies are based on?

Tara:
Um...um...that chick from TV.

Ghostface:
"That chick from TV" is not gonna cut it, Tara.

Tara:
Oh, Gale Weathers! It is Gale Weathers, you motherfucker!

Ghostface:
Correct. Amber might live to see the sunrise. Question 2: Who played the dumb bitch at the beginning of "Stab 1", who answers the phone and gets carved up by the killer?

Tara:
Fuck you!

Ghostface:
Is that the answer you're going with? [Tara whimpers and checks the information on her phone] A non-answer counts as a wrong answer, Tara. Time's running out. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

Tara:
Heather Graham!

Ghostface:
Correct! You pulled that one out. Now for the final question: Who was the killer in "Stab 1"?

Tara:
Oh, I know this one, you fuck! It's Billy Loomis! It's Billy Loomis, and he was Sidney's boyfriend, and he was played by Luke Wilson, and I got you, you asshole! I got it! I got it right!

Ghostface:
Oh, I'm sorry, Tara, but that's just not correct.

Tara:
What? No, no, no, no, no! It is! It is! That is right!

Ghostface:
The correct answer is Billy Loomis...and Stu Macher. There are two killers in the original "Stab". I'm afraid someone's got to die now.

[the President and First Lady wave to the crowd]

President Whitman:
They love me!

Judith Whitman:
They love ME. You're just standing next to me.

[the Princesses are relaxing with Vanellope, all wearing new modern clothes.]

Cinderella:
[sighs] So this is love. All hail Princess Vanellope, the queen of comfy.

[the other princesses cheer]

Ariel:
Of all the thingamabobs in this entire world, I never thought I'd get to wear a real... what's it called again? Oh, yeah. A shirt. [sings] I once had a dream that I might wear a shirt...

Vanellope:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait. What's going on?

Jasmine:
Uh, she's singing.

Vanellope:
Yeah, but there was, like, music and the spotlight and... Wait, you all saw it, too, right?

Tiana:
That's what happens when a princess sings about her dreams.

Vanellope:
Oh, that's never happened to me, I mean, not even once.

Rapunzel:
Why don't you give it a try? What is it you really want? Sing about that.

Vanellope:
Okay, uh, sure. I can do that. Uh, let's see. [clears throat; sings] Oh, steering wheel, oh, steering wheel. Oh, yes, I want a steering wheel. [scats]

Belle:
Well, there's a lot to unpack here. So, this steering wheel you sing of-- That's a metaphor?

Vanellope:
Oh, no, no, no, no. It's not a metaphor. It's just... I literally want a steering wheel. I think the issue was I was a little pitchy.

Mulan:
Maybe a little. But sometimes your song can't start until you go someplace to reflect.

Pocahontas:
What works for some of us is finding a form of water and staring at it.

Vanellope:
What?

Snow White:
Oh, yes. I like to stare at a wishing well.

Moana:
I stare at the ocean.

Mulan:
Horse trough.

Cinderella:
Soap bubbles.

Vanellope:
Wait, you're saying if I just stare at some water...

Ariel:
Important water.

Vanellope:
Right, of course, important water. I stare at the important water, and somehow magically, I'll start singing about my dream?

Rapunzel:
For sure.

Tiana:
Mm-hmm.

Vanellope:
Uh, yeah. I don't think so, ladies, but thanks.

[C-3PO enters]

C-3PO:
Five minutes, Princesses. Another "Which Disney Princess are you?" quizlet starts in five minutes.

[he leaves]

Jasmine:
Okay, thank you.

Tiana:
Well, I guess it's back to the gowns, girls.

Aurora:
It was lovely to meet you, Vanellope.

Belle:
And best of luck finding your song.

Merida:
Och. Lang may yer lum reek, and may a moose ne'er leave your girnal with a tear drop in his eye. Haste ye back, me lassie!

Vanellope:
Uh-huh. What did she just say?

Tiana:
We don't know.

Moana:
We can't understand her.

Anna:
She's from the other studio.

Vanellope:
Ah.

[the prison guard have escorted the prisoner named Frank Osgood and meeting a new lawyer named Daniel Morales, Frank has been incarcerated for the past 33 years, 2 months since August 1959, and opening the case of Frank Osgood]

Daniel Morales:
Friend.

Frank Osgood:
Morales.

Daniel Morales:
As the prisoner rights advocate, I hear a lot of guys claim their innocent.

Frank Osgood:
33 years and 2 months. I love the woman. I didn't kill her.

Daniel Morales:
That's why I'm here. I have a signed confession by someone who agrees with you. His name is Phillip Tice.

Frank Osgood:
Why is he coming forward now?

Daniel Morales:
Mr. Tice's dying of stomach cancer. And I'm afraid of burning in hell.

[Frank chuckling. Frank sighed]

Frank Osgood:
I'm living in it.

[Daniel silent]

Frank Osgood:
So when do I get out?

Daniel Morales:
Courts are skeptical the third party confessions. Before I could do anything, I need Tice to take a polygraph, see if he's for real.

Frank Osgood:
For real? I've been in this bit half my life, writing or be for a crime I didn't commit. That's real.

Daniel Morales:
Well, it's your call.

[Daniel takes a seat]

Daniel Morales:
If you want to pursue this, I'll handle the case.

Frank Osgood:
I was 27 years old, when that son of a bitch put me away. Prosecutor and the DA's office smug, cocky, phone in New England accent, I'll never forget him... Leland McKenzie.

[Daniel is going to find out about Leland McKenzie in his story]

[The Queen overhears]

Jacob:
The Queen is selfish. It is simple for her. She orders and you obey. How long are you going on this way? Every time we meet, you promise to tell her you love me and that you want to marry me and you never do.

Ebba:
The trouble is the Queen is so dominating. She's interested only in her own concerns. She never asks me.

...

Christina:
It is you I cannot forgive, Ebba. You needn't fear my domination any longer.

Ebba:
Your Majesty, please.

Christina:
You pretended to be interested in me and my problems. Your sympathy, your concern - all pretense, underneath which you resent me.

Ebba:
Oh, you do not understand, your Majesty.

Christina:
The difficulty, Ebba, is that I do.

[The resistance hacks into the ICS broadcast and puts in their own video of spliced clips]

Damon Killian:
[on video] And who loves you, and who do you LOVE?!

Studio Audience:
KILLIAN!!!

Killian:
YES!!! [zoom in] YES!!! [zoom in further] YES!!!["KILLIAN IS LYING TO YOU" appears on the screen]

[The audience and Killian watch the video in confusion]

Audience member:
Hey, what's going on?!

Killian:
[on video] We don't lie - lie - lie... like our previous winners Whitman, Price, and Haddad. You remember them! [stills appear of the corpses that Amber found in the locker room] There they are at this very moment, basking under the Maui sun, their debt to society paid in full. Watch that screen.

[Raw footage of the Bakersfield massacre begins to play]

Dispatcher:
[to Richards] Yankee Nine-Niner, what's the status of the crowd?

Ben Richards:
Food riot in progress. Approximately 1,500 civilians. No weapons are evident.

Dispatcher:
Proceed with Plan Alpha, eliminate anything moving.

Richards:
I said the crowd is unarmed! There are lots of women and children down there. All they want is some food, for God's sake!

[The audience and Killian continue to watch in bewilderment]

Dispatcher:
As you were, Richards. Proceed with Plan Alpha. All rioters must be eliminated.

Richards:
The hell with you! I will not fire on helpless human beings!

Dispatcher:
You have your orders, Yankee Nine-Niner, proceed with Plan Alpha.

[at the ICS control room]

Tony:
Where's it coming from?

Brenda:
The network satellite.

[Just as Tony is about to turn the dial to override the satellite, Stevie and several resistance fighters burst into the control room, guns pointed]

Stevie:
[menacingly] Don't touch that dial.

[Cut back to the video]

Richards:
Abort mission. We return to base...

Dispatcher:
Saunders, do you copy? Take command. Detain Richards and proceed as ordered.

[Fight breaks out]

Soldier:
Richards, what the fuck are you doing?!

[The soldiers overpower Richards and knock him out; Cut to the studio, where the audience gasp at the footage in disbelief]

Killian:
Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll please bear with us, we're experiencing technical difficulties!

Mrs McArdle:
Bullshit!!

[Richards and the other resistance fighters burst into the studio with guns]

Richards:
It's showtime!

[The resistance hacks into the ICS broadcast and puts in their own video of spliced clips]Damon Killian:
[on video] And who loves you, and who do you LOVE?!Studio Audience: KILLIAN!!!Killian: YES!!! [zoom in] YES!!! [zoom in further] YES!!!["KILLIAN IS LYING TO YOU" appears on the screen]

Damon Killian:
[on video] And who loves you, and who do you LOVE?!

Studio Audience:
KILLIAN!!!

Killian:
YES!!! [zoom in] YES!!! [zoom in further] YES!!!

["KILLIAN IS LYING TO YOU" appears on the screen]

[The audience and Killian watch the video in confusion]

Audience member:
Hey, what's going on?!Killian: [on video] We don't lie - lie - lie... like our previous winners Whitman, Price, and Haddad. You remember them! [stills appear of the corpses that Amber found in the locker room] There they are at this very moment, basking under the Maui sun, their debt to society paid in full. Watch that screen.[Raw footage of the Bakersfield massacre begins to play]Dispatcher: [to Richards] Yankee Nine-Niner, what's the status of the crowd?Ben Richards: Food riot in progress. Approximately 1,500 civilians. No weapons are evident.Dispatcher: Proceed with Plan Alpha, eliminate anything moving.Richards: I said the crowd is unarmed! There are lots of women and children down there. All they want is some food, for God's sake!

Killian:
[on video] We don't lie - lie - lie... like our previous winners Whitman, Price, and Haddad. You remember them! [stills appear of the corpses that Amber found in the locker room] There they are at this very moment, basking under the Maui sun, their debt to society paid in full. Watch that screen.

[Raw footage of the Bakersfield massacre begins to play]

Dispatcher:
[to Richards] Yankee Nine-Niner, what's the status of the crowd?

Ben Richards:
Food riot in progress. Approximately 1,500 civilians. No weapons are evident.

Dispatcher:
Proceed with Plan Alpha, eliminate anything moving.

Richards:
I said the crowd is unarmed! There are lots of women and children down there. All they want is some food, for God's sake!

[The audience and Killian continue to watch in bewilderment]Dispatcher:
As you were, Richards. Proceed with Plan Alpha. All rioters must be eliminated.Richards: The hell with you! I will not fire on helpless human beings!Dispatcher: You have your orders, Yankee Nine-Niner, proceed with Plan Alpha.

Dispatcher:
As you were, Richards. Proceed with Plan Alpha. All rioters must be eliminated.

Richards:
The hell with you! I will not fire on helpless human beings!

Dispatcher:
You have your orders, Yankee Nine-Niner, proceed with Plan Alpha.

[Cut to ICS control room]

Tony:
Where's it coming from?

Brenda:
The network satellite.

[Just as Tony is about to turn the dial to override the satellite, Stevie and several other resistance fighters burst into the control room, guns pointed]

Stevie:
[menacingly] Don't touch that dial.[Cut back to the video]Richards: Abort mission. We return to base...Dispatcher: Saunders, do you copy? Take command. Detain Richards and proceed as ordered.[Fight breaks out]Soldier: Richards, what the f*** are you doing?![The soldiers overpower Richards and knock him out]

[Cut back to the video]

Richards:
Abort mission. We return to base...

Dispatcher:
Saunders, do you copy? Take command. Detain Richards and proceed as ordered.

[Fight breaks out]

Soldier:
Richards, what the f*** are you doing?!

[The soldiers overpower Richards and knock him out]

[Cut to the studio, where the audience gasp at the footage in disbelief]

Killian:
Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll please bear with us, we're experiencing technical difficulties!

Mrs McArdle:
Bullshit!!

[Richards and the other resistance fighters burst into the studio with guns]

Richards:
It's showtime!

[The Reverend sees Hurshe staring in love with Toader]

The Reverend:
Stop gawking at Toader like that!

[The Reverend accidentally bumps his globe and breaks into pieces]

The Reverend:
Toader, how dare you?! Y'all saw it -- He shattered my world!

[the runabout with Sisko and Eddington is hunted down by two Jem'Hadar ships]

Michael Eddington:
Dissipating our warp signature didn't work.

Captain Sisko:
Don't tell me the Maquis didn't have Plan B.

Michael Eddington:
You're not going to like it.

Captain Sisko:
Half an AU and closing. If you do have a plan, I guarantee I'll learn to love it.

[the Senechals are preparing to make love. There is a knock at the door]

Henri S?n?chal:
What is it?

Ines:
The guests are here, sir.

Henri S?n?chal:
Tell them we'll be down. Serve them drinks.

Alice S?n?chal:
They can wait five minutes. Come on.

Henri S?n?chal:
No, no, not here. We can't.

Alice S?n?chal:
But why?

Henri S?n?chal:
You scream too loud. You know it.

[the symbiont Odan has been transferred into his new host Kareel, a woman]

Doctor Beverly Crusher:
Perhaps it is a human failing; but we are not accustomed to these kinds of changes. I can't keep up. How long will you have this host? What would the next one be? I can't live with that kind of uncertainty. Perhaps, someday, our ability to love won't be so limited.

[the Tanners talk about ALF getting to know Willie's brother]

Lynn:
He's a wonderful guy, with a terrific sense of humor.

ALF:
I'm not gonna marry him, if that's what you're getting at.

Willie:
You're meeting my brother, it's not the Pope.

ALF:
I'd rather meet the Pope. I love his hats.

[the team are planning to open the rift but Jack is trying to stop them]

Captain Jack Harkness:
Gwen Cooper, so in love with your boyfriend you spend half your life in Owen's bed.

Gwen Cooper:
[Gwen punches Jack in the face and he falls to the ground] F*** you.

Owen Harper:
[Owen points a gun at Jack's head] We're relieving you of your command, Captain.

[the tennis match begins]

Biggins:
Fifteen-Love.

Father Charles Clement Duddleswell:
Over the line, I think.

Biggins:
I would remind you, MISTER Duddleswell, that in the absence of the Pope, I say what's what on this court. Fifteen-Love.

[The Trojans just sailed from Sparta back to Troy, Hector is carving a lion in a small piece of wood, Paris gets closer]

Paris:
It's a beautiful morning. Poseidon has blessed our voyage.

Hector:
Sometimes the gods bless you in the morning and curse you in the afternoon.

Paris:
Do you love me, brother? Would you protect me from any enemy?

Hector:
[stops his carving and looks at Paris] The last time you spoke to me like this, you were ten years old and you'd just stolen Father's horse. What have you done now?

Paris:
I must show you something.

[The Tsar is having coffee with a medical officer; contemplating abdication]

Tsar Nicholas II:
Tell me, Dr. Federov, if my son, as the future Tsar, were to stay behind to be educated in Russia while my family traveled abroad, how much longer would he be likely to live?

Doctor Federov:
Deprived of your love and care, it is hard to say. There are no real statistics on this. It is a matter of luck and chance, Your Majesty. One could hope he could live a long and normal life, as we do for everyone. However, given my speculation on his medical issues, I would say...twenty would be a good age.

[the undead Granny brings out a covered dining tray]

Granny:
[distorted] Treats for the sweets!

[Granny lifts the cover as we see the head of David; The family cheers and laughs]

David:
Hi, everybody!

Junior:
What is this, prime rib? [take a big bite of his meat] I love it!

Albert:
Mmm! Wonderful soup.

David:
Thank you.

Antoinette:
They say that the family that eats together...

Albert:
...stays together.

[The V.Ks have beaten Audrey's enchanted knights and are celebrating. Mal and Uma almost high-five, but then move over and celebrate with their respective friends. Evie looks disappointed.]

Evie:
Guys, come on. This was so great. We were a team. We worked together. Come on. Come on.

(She tries to encourage Mal and Uma to high-five, but they only look at her in annoyance.)

Evie:
You know what we should try? An ice breaker. You say something you really like about the other person. I'll start... Harry... love the accent. Now you go.

Uma:
(To Mal) Is she always this perky?

Evie:
It wasn't really your turn yet, but thank you!

[the Village People Hoedown]

Wayne Brady:
I love the Village People, now please don't get me wrong / I love YMCA, hey girl, that's my song / But you see in Fran Sancisco is where they belong / And all them Village People inspired me to wear my thong.