Red vs. Blue, Season 6 (Reconstruction)

Sarge:
There's nothing wrong with the Olympics that modern science can't fix.

Church:
Right, like using aerodynamic computer modeling to develop better ski jumping techniques.

Sarge:
No, like replacing the skis with heat-seeking missles and the jumping with exploding.

Church:
Well that seems a little extreme. How would you improve curling?

Sarge:
Replace the big rocks with grenades.

Church:
Figure skating?

Sarge:
Landmines.

Church:
Downhill skiing?

Sarge:
Laser gates.

Church:
Speed skating?

Sarge:
Everyone gets a bayonet.

Church:
Snowboarding?

Sarge:
Fewer hippies. And add polar bears. In fact, every event could use more polar bears.

Church:
Ok, well, what about the luge?

Sarge:
Ahh, allow me to demonstrate. Let's suppose Griff over there is our lugey. Alright Grif, just like we rehearsed it!

Grif:
Yeah, I'm going for the gold! (gets hit by rocket) Tell Michelle Kwan I always loved her!

Sarge:
(after blowing up luge athlete Grif) I call it, "Rocket Luge". In Europe, it's called the space program.