Rick and Morty, Season 7

President Curtis:
In 1961, the CIA secretly relocated the Loch Ness Monster to Lake Eerie and replaced her bones with titanium. She was then bit by several werewolves, giving us the ultimate anti-submarine weapon.

Rick:
Got it.

President Curtis:
But the Soviets smuggled in a leprechaun who turned Nessie's bones to silver, giving her the were-version of AIDS. She sank to the bottom and we assumed she was dead, but she was only asleep. Now she's awake, and hungry!

Rick:
You can't date my shrink.

President Curtis:
What? Bro! You're nuts!

Rick:
Then don't date my shrink.

President Curtis:
I'm not dating your shrink! She probably doesn't even like me...

[Rick goes to punch him, but is held back by a Secret Service Agent.]

Secret Service Agent:
Stand down, Sanchez!

Rick:
Tell him to stand down! Would you let him bang your therapist?

Secret Service Agent:
I don't believe in therapy!

Rick:
W- What the hell does that even mean?! You don't "believe in it"?

President Curtis:
He's a Scientologist.

Rick:
Don't date my shrink! And don't be a space Mormon!

Secret Service Agent:
Why not?!

Rick:
It's silly! Sorry. It's a cheap shot. Worship how you want. I like Tom Cruise...?

Secret Service Agent:
Thank you.

President Curtis:
Therapy is working...

Rick:
Keep it in your pants.