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South Park, Season 7

South Park (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Color… more »

[after luring Kyle onto a boat with him and rowing them to the middle of a pond, Cartman sneaks up behind Kyle and hits him in the head with a Wiffle bat. It bounces off his hat]

Kyle:
Ow! What the hell are you doing, Cartman?

Cartman:
I'm killing you. Unfortunately, I could only afford a Wiffle bat so this may take a while. [hits him again]

Kyle:
Cartman!

Cartman:
Don't fight it, Kyle, it'll only take longer. Just slip into sweet unconsciousness. [Hits Kyle two more times]

Kyle:
You want to kill me, fine! [Turns around] I can't live like this anymore! Go ahead! [Cartman initially hesitates] Do it!

Cartman:
[Hits Kyle several more times] Won't be long now, Kyle. [Keeps hitting Kyle. Stan and Kenny come up in a paddle boat]

Stan:
Cartman, what're you doing?

Cartman:
I'm getting rid of our problem. Kyle will be dead in a matter of hours.

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Submitted by wikidude on June 03, 2024

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