The Office, Season 5

Michael:
[to Dwight] Here's what's going to happen. I am going to have to fix you, manage you two on a more personal scale, a more micro form of management. Jim, what is that called?

Jim:
Microgement.

Michael:
Boom, yes! Now, Jim is going to be the client. Dwight, you're going to have to sell to him without being aggressive, hostile or difficult. Let’s go.

Dwight:
All right, fine. Brrng-brrng!

Jim:
Hello?

Dwight:
Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.

Jim:
Well, that's great because I need paper.

Dwight:
Excellent. Then, you're in luck, because we are having a limited time offer only on everything.

Jim:
Wow. This is my lucky day.

Michael:
[to Dwight] Ask him his name.

Dwight:
What is your name, sir?

Jim:
I am Bill Buttlicker.

Dwight:
[pause] Really? That's your real name?

Jim:
How dare you? My family built this country by the way!

Michael:
Be respectful, Dwight. Please.

Dwight:
Yes, Michael.

Jim:
Could you hold on one second? That's my other line.

Dwight:
No, but I–

Jim:
Hello? [chuckles] No, I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb! Probably just gonna keep him on the line forever and not buy anything. Okay.

Michael:
[to Dwight] It's up to you to change his mind.

Jim:
[to Dwight] Sorry, that was a family emergency.

Dwight:
Oh, no. What's wrong?

Jim:
You know what? That's private.

Michael:
Boundaries, Dwight! Come on!

Dwight:
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Buttlicker. As I was saying. We are having a–

Jim:
Can you speak up a little bit louder? I'm hard of hearing.

Dwight:
Okay, as I was saying, right now we are having–

Jim:
You have to talk louder.

Dwight:
Okay! Our prices have never been lower!

Jim:
Son, you have to talk louder!

Dwight:
Never been lower!

Jim:
LOUDER, SON!

Dwight:
BUTTLICKER, OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!

Michael:
Stop it! Stop it!

Dwight:
He—

Michael:
That is totally inappropriate! You should never yell at the client. You never yell at the client!

Jim:
Now, you listen to me, sir.

Michael:
Here we go.

Jim:
The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult.

Michael:
Give me the phone.

Dwight:
Please, Mr. Buttlicker—

Jim:
I'm irate right now!

Michael:
Give me the phone.

Dwight:
Please give me another chance, Mr. Buttlicker.

Michael:
Give me the phone. Give me the phone.

Dwight:
I have to put you on with my boss.

Jim:
Well, I should hope so. [Michael takes phone] Who is this?

Michael:
Hello, this is Michael Scott, regional manager.

Jim:
Well, this is William M. Buttlicker.

Michael:
Hello, Mr. Buttlicker. How may we help you?

Jim:
Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy one million dollars worth of paper products today.

Dwight:
[shakes fist, whispers] Yeah!

Michael:
[covers phone, whispers to Dwight] See how it's done? [into phone] Thank you very much, sir. I don't think you'll regret it. [to Dwight] See what I did?

Dwight:
You are the master.

Jim:
There is one condition, Michael.

Michael:
Yes.

Jim:
You have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly.

Dwight:
Don't do it, Michael.

Michael:
[beat; whispers] It's a million-dollar sale...