Miami Vice, Season 2

Crockett:
Vietnam, Cambodia, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Everglades. Bet I've soaked up more swamp than Elvis.

Tubbs:
Look on the bright side of things, man. At least nobody's trying to make shoes out of you. Yet.

Tubbs:
[over the phone] That's TUBBS: Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, Sassy.

Crockett:
If the supplier can't deliver...

Tubbs:
Then Rivillas' customers start to shiver.

Tubbs:
Hey you, you're out of your jurisdiction, you're out of your league, and you don't live in the neighborhood, so keep it moving! Chumps!

Crockett:
This guy is a nut case.

Tubbs:
Yeah? Maybe he even keeps a pet alligator at his place of residence.

Weldon:
Please, say hello to Lorraine.

Tubbs:
Big deal. A computer. Every 12-year-old kid in Miami has one.

Tubbs:
[On a computer, "Lorraine"] This thing's a little weird.

Crockett:
If it's only a little weird, it definitely won't work.

Gallo:
[Talking to Gina] Ninety percent of all cops never discharge their weapons. They go about their jobs, nobody gets hurt. Then there's the cowboy. [Turns to Crockett] How many shooting hearings have you had? Ten? How many men have died?

Crockett:
Only the bad guys, Gallo.

Crockett:
So you're at this party with this dude..

Trudy:
His name's David.

Crockett:
Oh, yeah, that's right, David. And there's a lot of weed and blow there. Hell, you can't go to a party in Miami without tripping over it.

Trudy:
Miami Vice. You're under arrest. Turn around and put your hands on the bar.

Adonis:
Baby, you're a cop?

Crockett:
April fool.

Bartender:
Kid got a nice mother?

Robbie Cann:
She's the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful woman I've ever known. Why?

Bartender:
Well, 'cause daddy ain't gonna live long drinking like that.

Robbie:
I mean, for the first time since we landed back in the world, I feel like a man. I got a wife, a kid, a business. I can hold my head up in the street.

Crockett:
Is that what being a man is? Standing by and letting that girl get blown away, so that you can live high on the hill? What's happened to you, man? Where's your sense of right and wrong?

Crockett:
Only obligation you've got is to yourself. If you can get up in the morning and look in the mirror and be proud of what you see, then you fulfill that obligation. If you can't, then you're worth nothing to nobody. Not to yourself, not to Julia, not to me, and certainly not to your son.

Crockett:
The man I knew always did what it took, and it hurt sometimes, but he did it. Because that's the only thing that got us out of the jungle with our minds. There was no "me and I" in our unit. You and me, Robbie. You and me. We refused to throw those POWs out of the choppers. No matter what the rest of the world was saying, we did the right thing. That's what being a man is all about. Not standing by and letting Doss and your father put holes in a young girl.

Crockett:
She said she wanted to help us.

Tubbs:
She would have said anything, man, to feed that monkey. Anything.

Crockett:
The secret to success, whether it's women or money, is knowing when to quit. I oughta know: I'm divorced and broke.

Crockett:
Man, you're taking this whole thing way too light. This isn't like sneaking into the drive-in. This is a sacred religious ceremony for these people, and if they make you for an outsider, you don't know what they're gonna do.

Tubbs:
What are they gonna do, cast a spell on me?

CIA agent Carter:
My name is Carter, and I don't like you. And I don't care about your crummy little drug deals. I don't care about Herrera, and I don't care about the half million.

Castillo:
Well, you must care about something. You look nervous.

Izzy:
Your partner looks like kinda intense today.

Switek:
I haven't seen him like this since 1983, when he chased a guy who stole a hubcap from the bug van.

Izzy:
Have we already had the scene where I ask what this is all about and you say, "Shut up, we ask the questions".

Switek:
I don't know, did we, Lar?

Trudy:
I wonder what the price of silence is in Haiti.

Octavio Arroyo:
To what do I owe this pleasure?

Gina:
I wanted to see how you chill out after a rape.

Dakota:
These days money comes from all kinds of places.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs:
Yeah, well, my money comes from my pocket. Now do you wanna do business?

Izzy:
"What are you doing wearing those brown shoes?! This party is color cooperated!"

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett:
I hate the waiting, feel like a character in a Becket play.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs:
Since when do you know Becket?

Det. James "Sonny" Crocket:
Charlie Becket, works down at the shoeshine, writes plays on the side.

Tubbs:
She's too conservative for you.

Crockett:
I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs:
[during a heat wave] Man, I can dig tropical, but this is out of bounds.

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett:
You just got to learn to go with the heat, Rico. It's just like life. You just gotta keep telling yourself, no matter how hot it gets, sooner or later there's a cool breeze coming in.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs:
Should I write that down?

Poolside Bartender:
Hot enough for ya ?

Charlie (Ted Nugent):
Yea, it's going to be a real killer.

Crockett:
Man, it's so hot you could fry an egg on my face.

Tubbs:
Hope I never get that hungry.

Crockett:
The head and the heart Rico,just once I'd like to get them together.

Dalva:
You guys have really got it easy down here - tropical climate, beautiful scenery, laid back place - I could really get used to this

Crockett:
The better you get at this job, the more dangerous it becomes.

Crockett:
Nice to know there's still a little poetry left in the world.

Tubbs:
You're losing it, Sonny man. Remember what you told me about edges and dead cops?

Crockett:
I say a lot of things, I talk too much.

Crockett:
Rico.

Tubbs:
Yeah?

Crockett:
I'll see you tonight.

Tubbs:
Count on it.

Zito:
Hurry up.

Switek:
Look, it's just a cartoon.

Zito:
101 Dalmatians ain't just a cartoon, any more than Blue Suede Shoes is just a song.

Crockett:
[to Thurmond] What did you do, trade in your conscience when you passed the bar?

Crockett:
Okay Tommy, what's the story this time?

Tommy:
Sonny boy, are you familiar with the expression.. "A carburetor is like a good woman"?

Crockett:
Tommy.

Tommy:
A carburetor is like a good woman, because if you don't make constant delicate adjustments, she'll choke you to death. I adjusted your carbs and I did some other stuff, and the ticket's on the front seat.

Crockett:
Wait a minute. What other stuff?

Tommy:
Sonny, when did I ever, ever, ever overcharge you?

Crockett:
How the hell should I know? You're the only one that works on this car!

Tommy:
I'm the best, Sonny, it's a fact.

Crockett:
Tommy? You rang? $600?

Tommy:
You want to know something, Crockett? Not if it's gonna cost me another $600. I'm doing pretty much the same work on this car here, but this car belongs to a rich lawyer. I'm charging him more. Fair, but more. And if you tell him, I'll kill you.

Crockett:
Do you think that makes us even?

Laurence Thurmond:
No, not at all. It was just the best I had to offer.

Crockett:
Aw, the hell with it. You want to be dead? [makes gun with his hand] Bang, you're dead.

Woman:
Have you seen Florence Italy?

Gina:
Only in my dreams.

Woman:
Not the place, baby, the girl. It's her name.

Tommy:
She doesn't even know the difference between a tire iron and a timing light. She causes harm to my reputation as a woman. I am a licensed mechanic.

Woman:
Look, I tell you, if I'd seen this car I probably would have run like hell, 'cause, I mean, in the first place, it doesn't even look like a car.

Crockett:
Well you could have damn well been a little more emphatic!

Danielle Hier:
And you could have listened a little bit better!

Crockett:
I suggest we take a rain check.

Danielle Hier:
It isn't raining.

Danielle:
I was hoping you would be someone else. Your partner.

Tubbs:
You're messing with my best friend, and I don't like it.

Danielle:
What do you want me to do? Make him not like me?

Tubbs:
I think you're a bad dream, baby. I just wanna wake up and find you gone.

Danielle:
What if I don't want to be gone, Rico?

Tubbs:
That's easy. I know what you are. If you don't split, I'll have every newspaper, every wire service on your case so fast you won't know where to look. You'll be out in the cold, baby, with no place warm in sight. Have a nice trip, home.

Tubbs:
You are a nightmare.

Danielle:
You have a big mouth, Tubbs. You told me so yourself.

Crockett:
Damn, these birds are noisy. At least, they're not in a cage, sort of a natural habitat.

Tubbs:
Kind of like an alligator in a sailboat.

Tubbs:
What are you doing?

Crockett:
Re-prioritizing. Lunch. On me.

Tubbs:
On you?

Crockett:
Yep. Can't let a guy buy his own last meal. Anything you want, anything. Sky's the limit.

Tubbs:
Veggie burger! Veggie burger!

Crockett:
Anything but that.

Switek:
When it comes to settling down with a chick, i'm fairly selective, because, let's face it, I can afford to be.

Gina:
I'm sure they line up around the block.

Switek:
I got the looks, steady job.

Zito:
Cable.

Switek:
Cable TV. The works. But there's something about a girl, like this Angelina.

Trudy:
Couldn't be the money.

Switek:
Money?

Zito:
We're talking companionship here.

Switek:
A relationship, if you will.

Zito:
Right. With a real '80s woman.

Gina:
Oh, give me a break.

Switek:
But seriously, you've got to respect a woman who says: Honey, we've got a little problem here. You're going to have to leave town, and here's $800,000 in cash. Cute girl.

Danny Bain:
Are you in charge? Cause I can't get a straight answer from this one. Is Dorothy being accused of murder? If you know where she is, I want her and my son back. And if you don't, tell me! Cause I'll get a private detective to find her, who'll do a lot better job than the Dick Tracy club you got here.

Crockett:
Why? You having trouble finding somebody new to smack around? (Pushes him) I'll give you a reason to hit someone, pal! Or maybe it doesn't turn you on when somebody hits back?

Crockett:
(After Crockett storms into the park's bathroom and sees Agent Thompson bound with rope with his pants down in one stall and Hererra dead as he is hung upside down with cocaine is strewn in the toilet) What the HELL is going on here?!