Animaniacs, Season 4

[Cartoon opens on a waterfall. Camera pans left to The Prince's castle]

Chorus:
[offscreen] Certain is what we are, of what you'll like the least, snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast! [Fade to The Prince's castle, A gargoyal taps another gargoyal on the shoulder] Snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast!

[Camera trucks up to The Prince's room]

Narrator:
Once upon a time, an enchantress turned a selfish prince into a hideous beast. [The Prince turns into Taz. The mirror shatters. Taz runs to his room. He tears a portrait of himself as The Prince, playing tic-tac-toe on it. He gets all three "O"s in a row, crossing them off] To break the spell, he had to fall in love with someone who loved him, before his magic flower lost all of its petals. If he could not, he'd remain a beast...forever.

Taz:
[Gasps]

Narrator:
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko:
I'm Yakko!

Wakko:
I'm Wakko!

Dot:
And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Balana- Oh, shoot!

[Yakko and Wakko laugh]

Director:
[offscreen] Cut!

Dot:
[holding up two fingers] Take two.

[Film whirs. Beep!]

Narrator:
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko:
I'm Yakko.

Wakko:
I'm Wakko.

Dot:
And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Falana... Arrrgh!

Director:
[offscreen] Cut!

Yakko:
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Banana Falana.

Wakko:
[laughing] Banana Falana!

Dot:
Oh, thanks for your support, Mr. P Pop Into the Mic!

Wakko:
Oh, pooh! I never pop my P's!

Director:
Uh, Wakko? We got a big P pop on "pooh". Could we have that again?

Dot:
Ha!

[Film whirs. Beep!]

Narrator:
And now, the stars of our show, the Warners!

Yakko:
I'm Yakko!

Wakko:
I'm Wakko!

Dot:
And I'm "Pincess"...DAAAAAAAAGH!

Yakko & Wakko:
Helloooo, Pincess! [laughing]

Wakko:
[laughing] Pincess!

Yakko:
[laughing] Pincess, I love it!

Dot:
Yeah, you try saying it sometime!

Yakko:
"Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bobesca the Third". [wags eyebrows]

Dot:
Oh, thank you, Mr. United-States-Canada-Mexico-Panama. Big whoop. [to the camera] LET'S DO IT!

[Film whirs. Beep!]

Narrator:
[tired] And now...the stars of our show...the Warners.

Yakko:
[tired] I'm still Yakko.

Wakko:
[tired] I'm still Wakko.

Dot:
And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Fo Foo- STOP! WHY CAN'T I GET IT [BLEEP!] BY GDDITRBBIT [BLEEP!] WHY GOT TO STOP IT [BLEEP!] AUGH!

Yakko:
That's my cute little sister who said that! Goodnight, everybody! [Dot sits on a step] Let's wrap it up, okay?

Dot:
Oh, get off my back! What do you want me to do?

Yakko:
Try memorizing your lines.

Dot:
I was busy!

Wakko:
Another date with Brad Pitt?

Dot:
Oh, and you should talk?

Wakko:
Hey, I can't help it if girls find me irresistable!

Dot:
Yeah, until they learn you don't bathe!

[All Warner Siblings argue at once]

[Shortly after Dot finally gets her name right]

Yakko:
Your brother and I just couldn't be prouder!

Dot:
[angry] Oh, dry up!

Director:
[offscreen] Let's move it along! Next line!

Dot:
...but you can call me "Dot"!

[The Warners are in the woods. Wakko is looking at what is presumed to be a map]

Wakko:
According to this, we've lost our way.

[Yakko takes the map]

Yakko:
This isn't a map, it's a flyer for the Republican Party!

Wakko:
'Lost our way as a country', that is.

[After The Warner Siblings come in after the "Hi there!" bomb has blown up in Taz's face]

Yakko:
Ahh, you're Taz, aren't you?

["Taz-mania theme" plays in the background]

Taz:
Uhh- me no Taz.

Wakko:
Could you do that thing, that funny thing that you do?

Taz:
BLOOUUAAAAGH!

Wakko:
No, that's not it!

Taz:
Uh...WAAGGHDEEDEEDEEDEEIGH!

Yakko:
No, no, that's not it either. You know, the funny thing!

Dot:
Can we finish this cartoon?

Yakko:
All right!

[After the "Be A Pest" song]

Taz:
Oh, it's hopeless. You win. Come get kiss.

[Dot and Taz kiss. Taz slobbers her. He spits her out. He turns back into The Prince offscreen]

Dot:
Ohhh! Do not go in there!

Yakko:
Are you all right?

Dot:
I am, but I'm not so sure about him!

Prince:
Wow, am I ever cute!

Girls:
My! He's dreamy! Oh, my! He's so very handsome! My!

Dot:
No way! I'm the only who's supposed to be cute on this show! [kissing him] MWAH!

[The Prince turns back into Taz]

Girls:
Eeeeeeeeeagh!

Taz:
OOOOOUUUAAAAGHDOOOUUAGHHHBLAGHBLIHGHTSFZABDHBTSPBPBPBPTHTHTH!

Yakko:
That's it! That's the funny thing! [He, Wakko, and Dot laugh. Taz face palms himself. Fade to outside The Prince's castle]

Chorus:
[offscreen] Certain is what we are, of what you'll like the least, snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast! Snails on your lawn, songs that go on and on, Cutie and the Beast!

Yakko:
Well, that's our show.

Dot:
We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did.

Wakko:
We're touched so you'll be touched.

Yakko:
Goodnight, everybody.

Director:
...And- playbacks!

["Animaniacs" theme plays in the background as the end credits begin]

Dot:
Phew! Am I glad that's over!

Yakko:
Awh. I have a headache this big, and it's got Warner Bros. written all over it.

Dot:
"Produced by..." Gimme a break. Bunch of over-paid, credit-grabbing, do-nothings.

Yakko:
"Written by"? Oh, now, there's a joke. You call the dreck they stick us with writing? Huh. Puhlease.

Dot:
"The Great Stoneeni". Bah. Just once I'd like the guy to write a song in my key. Just once.

Yakko:
Like that would do any good!

Dot:
Oh, yeah, it's all about you. That's right.

Wakko:
A voice director? Who's that?

Yakko:
Oh, you know, she the person who tells you to redo every line like fifty times.

Dot:
Yeah. And faster.

Wakko:
[furious] Her? I hate her!

Yakko:
"Rob Paulsen as Yakko". Hmmf! Yeah, right.

Dot:
"Tress MacNeille as Dot". As if.

Wakko:
"Jess Harnell as Wakko". I hear he's cute!

Yakko:
[sarcastic] Ooh, goodie. Here come the storyboard artists.

Wakko:
What do they do?

Yakko:
Besides drawing us off-model and taking three hour coffee breaks, not much.

Wakko:
Look at all those names. Who are all these people?

Dot:
Oh my- unh. You know, they're artists, Wakko.

Wakko:
I'll bet.

Dot:
You might want to stop by the studio some time, you could meet a few of them.

Wakko:
I'm busy! "Executive in charge of Production"? What does that mean?

Yakko:
[slowly] Nobody really knows.

Wakko:
"Executive Producer - Steven Spielbrig"?

Yakko:
Nonononono - Steven...Springblush.

Dot:
No, no - Springbile. No, Spriezlof... naw, Mr. Kate Capshaw.

Yakko:
Hey, you wanna go get a cappuccino?

Dot:
Sure. Wakko, you coming?

Wakko:
Nah, I got a date.

Yakko:
When do you not have a date?

Wakko:
[angrily] I got a date! So, sue me!

Dot:
She will! Hey - d-did you turn off the mikes?

Yakko:
N- [whispering] No, I thought you did!

Dot:
It wasn't me. [in unison with Yakko and Wakko] Uh-oh!

Skippy:
You're not gonna sing, are you?

Slappy:
For the sake of the show, no!

Skippy:
Phew! What a relief!

Slappy:
Hey, hey! Like you're Pavarotti?

Dot:
[pointing at John Smith's hand] What's that all about?

John Smith:
A handshake is how we say, "Hello".

Dot:
[smiling suggestively at him] Would you like to see how we do it?

[Beginning the episode, the Warners ran away from Ralph and they hid behind a wall to catch thier breath as Ralph passes by. That's when they see something]

Wakko:
Hey, guys. Look!

Warners:
PARLOR!

[The Warners ran into an ice cream shop and they sat down on the bar seats]

Wakko:
Oh Mr. Ice Cream Man!

Yakko:
We're here!

Ice Cream Man:
Hey hey hi kids. [Leaning on the table] What will you guys have todays?

Yakko:
The usual. Give us the mango, papaya, quince...

Wakko:
[Adding on] Coconut, persimmon, guava!

Dot:
[Adding on also] and avocado.

Warners:
BIG SUPER DUPER TRIPLE MALT SHAKE!

Yakko:
Make mine stirred, not shaked.

Dot:
Make mine not fat. Girl's got to watch her figure.

Wakko:
Make mine extra fat.

Ice Cream Man:
Coming right up! [starts scooping some ice cream and puts them in a milkshake cup and a machine stirs the ice cream; whistles the Pinky and the Brain Theme song while waiting; then pours the malt into three large cups and puts a straw in each of them with a straw; gives one to Yakko who drinks it, Then hands the others to Wakko and Dot]

Dot:
[as Wakko starts drinking his milkshake] Are you going to drink that in one gulp?

Wakko:
Mmm… Maybe.

Yakko:
Could be more than you can handle.

Wakko:
I'll take that as a challenge. [pushes Dot off of her seat] I've been doing this since I was a kid. [drinks his whole milkshake in one gulp and becomes bloated as he sits down in his seat; to Yakko] Told you!

Wakko and Dot:
Alright!

Wakko:
Hey! Where is this Key West anyway?

Yakko:
Just west of key east.

Dot:
And south of Tiki D.

Yakko:
There they are, sibs! The Florida Keys! Right between the Florida pocket lint and the Florida spare change.

[The plane does a nosedive and then, it stops a few feet in midair.]

Dot:
Outta gas!

Yakko:
Lame joke number two.

[The scene cuts to Acme Labs.]

Narrator:
Coming soon to the Kids WB!

[In the lab, we see that Ralph had joined Pinky in the Acme Labs cage.]