Bones, Season 12

Hodgins:
If I've learned anything from being in this chair it's that happiness comes from accepting what you have.

Brennan:
That is one of the many benefits of growing older, we grow wiser in the process.

Booth:
What is with the breath coming through the back right now? It smells like death warmed over almost like a toxic blast of camel butt.

Aubrey:
[looks offended] Wow. This is a black kale chia smoothie.

Booth:
Why? Why are you drinking that? Did you lose a bet or something?

Brennan:
Do you have an infected lesion?

Booth:
What? Why would you even ask that?

Brennan:
Well, black kale is high in vitamin K and antioxidants, both of which promote healing.

Aubrey:
Jessica just thought maybe it'd be a good idea if I went on a junk food cleanse.

Booth:
Go back to the donuts because that just smells like monkey ass.

Booth:
I'm a sniper, you hear me, and snipers, they do not fire blanks.

Brennan:
And in that analogy, my ovaries are what, target practice?

Brennan:
Booth, I found something.

Booth:
She found something.

Francis:
Oh, my Is this where he died?

Booth:
No, this is where he went to heaven.

Brennan:
My husband is euphemistically referring to sex. By the sheer quantity––

Booth:
[interrupts] You're gonna need a new cleaning service. So who was Mr. Felbeck seeing?

Brennan:
By seeing, he means in-intercourse.

Brennan:
Angela, is this one of the computers from the retirement home?

Angela:
Yeah. And you won't believe what I'm finding.

Brennan:
I assume you're referring to pornographic material?

Angela:
Enough to make a teenage boy blush. You'd think at a certain age enough would be enough.

Brennan:
Not for the male of the species. They are biologically programmed to keep wanting sexual gratification. Which is why I told Booth he needs to get a vasectomy.

Aubrey:
Unlike Booth, I am an equal opportunity accuser. See, I don't care about sex, age...just motive and opportunity.

Caroline:
I hear Aldo was in rough shape. What was going on with him?

Booth:
I don't know, Caroline. I hadn't spoken to him for over a year.

Caroline:
If I know you, you tried.

Booth:
You know what? I'm not gonna let myself off the hook on this one, all right? Anytime I needed anything, anything, Aldo was always there for me.

Caroline:
I'm sure that goes for the other men in your unit, too.

Booth:
What does that mean?

Caroline:
He took on all their troubles.

Brennan:
Moving forward, there is only one thing you can do for Aldo.

Booth:
Look, if you're gonna tell me to forgive myself, please don't.

Brennan:
Forgiveness would be ineffective.

Booth:
Okay then, what? I mean, what works?

Brennan:
Revenge.

Booth:
That's not me. I mean, there are rules.

Brennan:
You will follow those rules. The act of bringing a murderer to justice is, anthropologically speaking, a form of revenge. You have suffered a loss. Making the killer suffer for that loss will help.

Booth:
Yeah, well, I hope so, Bones. Because right now I couldn't feel much worse.

Brennan:
It didn't go well with the men?

Booth:
These guys saw hell. You know, most of them are still paying the price.

Brennan:
You feel the effects of war, too, Booth.

Booth:
Yeah. Yeah, but I got lucky. I got a great family and great life. Got all this.

Brennan:
You're an addict, just like Aldo.

Booth:
Yeah.

Brennan:
Unlike him, you got help.

Booth:
Yeah. But you're in my corner. That's the difference. Aldo had no one.

Aubrey:
Look, there's something else that I've been thinking about. I want you to know that I'm not him [his father].

Jessica:
Uh, I know that, Aubrey.

Aubrey:
[chuckles nervously] He left his wife, he left me. You know, I would-- I would never ever do that.

Jessica:
What are you saying?

Aubrey:
I'm saying that when I commit to something, it's real. That I'm serious about us. [looks at Jessica staring at him] Did I say the wrong thing?

Jessica:
No. Of course not, Aubrey...but there's a lot going on...

Aubrey:
I know. And when it's all taken care of, I'm gonna feel the same way.

Fisher:
Cartoons upset me as a child.

Hodgins:
More of an Addams Family kid?

Fisher:
Twilight Zone reruns actually.

Cam:
Everything about you makes more sense now.

Booth:
You know, my old man, he was a piece of work.

Aubrey:
Yeah, he drank, right?

Booth:
Yeah. He drank, and he beat the crap out of me and my brother, till Pops took us in.

Aubrey:
I guess neither one of us drew very well in the fatherhood lottery.

Booth:
Well, you know, with my dad, he died a while back. I never got a chance to really confront him. Tell him how I really feel, you know, man-to-man.

Aubrey:
[to his father] Don't ever take credit for how I turned out, okay? Any good in me was despite having you as a father.

[Dr. Gordon Wyatt visits Booth's office with a plate of petit fours and notices Aubrey looking at it.]

Dr. Wyatt:
Agent Aubrey, if you were to yield to your desire, rather than fight it, I think you might be able to return to the matter in hand.

Aubrey:
Is it that obvious?

Booth:
You're drooling like a Great Dane. I'll take that. [Aubrey reaches out to the plate to take a petit four] They're for me.

Dr. Wyatt:
Please, gentlemen, don't fight over them. There are plenty to go 'round.

Aubrey:
[looks defiantly at Booth] Plenty.

Dr. Wyatt:
Share. Good children share, don't they?

Dr. Wyatt:
[while helping Angela profile a suspect] I haven't had this much excitement since my last baked Alaska fiasco.

Angela:
Well, it looks like a junker, like it's just a bunch of mismatched parts.

Cam:
Like Frankenstein's monster, but the car version.

Aubrey:
[after Booth makes him lead on the case] Wow, thank you, Booth. So does this mean that, like, I'm your boss now?

Booth:
Listen, Aubrey, if you have to ask if you're my boss, you're not my boss.

Linda Martin:
Ronny is a creative guy, full of all these wild ideas. And after directing all the Snoozeland commercials, he decided he was ready for the real thing.

Aubrey:
A real commercial?

Linda:
Movie. Said he was gonna be the next Gordon Welles.

Aubrey:
Orson Welles?

Linda:
Sure. Whatever, I don't know about any of that stuff. All I know is: Ronny wrote himself a story, took a leave of absence from work and went off to make his movie.

Aubrey:
Huh.

Linda:
This movie was all Ronny could think about. It was going to be his Citizen Crane.

Cam:
Geez, Hodgins. You cannot just roll up on me like that.

Hodgins:
I'm in a wheelchair, Cam. I have no choice but to roll up on you.

[Booth and Aubrey visit a set where a commercial is being filmed]

Booth:
The one thing I learned about these guys, these creative types, they're definitely a breed of their own.

[...]

Aubrey:
Oh, dear God, this is like spring break on bath salts.

Kirby:
You guys are with "F.B.I"? I haven't heard of them. Are they new?

Booth:
[deadpan] You haven't heard of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Kirby:
Oh, that FBI. (laughs) Bummer. I thought you guys were, like, Hollywood agents. Real agents.

Aubrey:
We are real agents. Investigating a real murder.

Aubrey:
I thought that I was supposed to be lead on the case, here.

Booth:
I'm just trying to help.

Aubrey:
Appreciate that, but you keep telling me where to go, what leads to follow, wouldn't even let me drive to the movie location.

Booth:
You're like a turtle behind the wheel. You're like−−

Aubrey:
What?

Booth:
[grits his teeth in frustration] A turtle. We would've still been in the parking lot if you were driving, Aubrey.

Aubrey:
We would've got there. That's my point. You know, you got to let me work my own pace, here.

Booth:
Fine.

Brennan:
How important do you think it is for us to love what we do?

Angela:
Uh, well, it, it's important, but it's not everything. Most people don't love their jobs. They don't even like them. They do them because they have to.

Brennan:
What if they didn't have to?

Angela:
If you can afford to leave an unfulfilling job, why wouldn't you?

Hodgins:
What can I get you, lovely lady? What do you have? We've got the Saroyan Sling, the Arast-ini, the Pookie Noodlin'...

Angela:
You did not name a drink the Pookie Noodlin'.

Hodgins:
All right, it's not on the menu, but I'll whip you up one special.

Hodgins:
Zack, you sure you want to represent yourself? I mean, we can request a continuance.

Zack:
No, I've had many years to study courtroom procedure. I am ready.

Brennan:
Zack will be fine. Besides, the opposing lawyer is––

[Caroline suddenly appears in front of them.]

Caroline:
Is a fierce vision by the name of Caroline Julian? Is that what you were going to say, Cher? [glares at Brennan]

Brennan:
No.

Aubrey:
I just got word from the team that went after Kovac.

Caroline:
Please tell me that son of a bitch is either dead or in custody. And if I have a choice, I choose dead.

Brennan:
If the thing that made me me is gone who am I?

Booth:
You're the woman I love. You're the one who kissed me outside of a pool house when it was pouring rain. You took me to shoot Tommy guns on Valentine's Day. That's who you are. You're the one who proposed to me with a stick of beef jerky in her hand, even though you're a vegetarian. You're the Roxie to my Tony, and the Wanda to my Buck. Who else is gonna sing "Hot Blooded" with me? Hmm? And besides we're way better than Mulder and Scully.

Brennan:
I don't know what that means.

Booth:
I don't care if you know about the bones or if we know how to solve crimes. All I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. This is you. Temperance Brennan. You. You're my partner. Don't forget that.

Angela:
New equipment? Whoa. Seriously? What exhibit did you guys steal this from?

Cam:
No. Actually, it was all donated from the biochem department at Georgetown. They came calling almost immediately after the bomb went off.

Hodgins:
[grins] Squints of the world unite, baby.

Caroline:
You almost went and got yourself killed, again. When are you ever gonna stop doing that?

Booth:
Probably never.

Caroline:
You and your damn sense of duty. Do you have any idea how stressful it is for me to have such a brave friend?

Aubrey:
Well, you know the saying. Once a Ranger, always a Ranger.

Booth:
That's not the Ranger slogan, Aubrey.

Aubrey:
Oh. I'm thinking of Power Rangers.

Hodgins:
[after learning that Cam made him interim director while she is on sabbatical] Wait a minute, I'm the king of the lab? I'm the king of the lab!!!