Brothers & Sisters, Season 1

Kitty:
[on the phone I am not the person you think I am. That's what you people don't seem to understand. I am not a bitch. I am not aggressively plotting to make our mother feel bad.

Sarah:
Then why are you staying in a motel?

Kitty:
Because Sarah, the show is putting this up and it's supposed to be a gorgeous room.

Sarah:
Then call mom and tell her.

Kitty:
You know what Sarah, you call mom and you tell her that.

Sarah:
I talk to mom everyday, you guys haven't spoken for two years.

William Walker:
[to Kitty] We're here all together, and I must announce with some trepidation, you're no longer grounded.

Justin:
When she was fourteen, she was grounded indefinitely.

Jonathon Sellers:
What for?

Kitty:
Oh, it had something to do with cigarettes and surf wax.

Tommy:
And shoplifting and a boy named Pablo...

Kitty:
No, mom. This is not just about my politics. Tommy and dad think the same things I do, and you've managed to reconcile forty years of loving somebody who fundamentally disagrees with you. But you can't love me. And I don't know what it's about. It's not about the war.

Sarah:
You know, I thought when I quit my old job that I would gain in time what I lost in salary. But being a working mom is like a currency that never has enough value.

Kitty:
Oh my God, I'm going to steal that line.

Kitty:
You were the one who virtually refused to be in my life for three years, who barely spoke, and I know it's because I unforgivably gave my opinion about Justin.

Nora:
Not refused, couldn't. I was afraid of the things I didn't want to say.

Nora:
He never wanted to be a soldier. That's what you and your father never understood, he just wanted your approval. You were supposed to say no, you were supposed to say, we love you too much to get hurt like this, no! And now I don't know where my son is. I need you to help me find him, please. Please!

Nora:
I really don't think this is very healthy.

Fawn:
What's not?

Nora:
Medicating, sleeping all day. You know, you don't look well. I don't think this situation is working out for you, is it?... So let's get ourselves up, get dressed, take your trash and go home!

Noah Guare:
Tell me something, how can you feel so guilty when nothing happened between us?

Sarah:
Because being in synch with a man who's not your husband is almost as painful as not being in synch with your husband.

Nora:
You ungrateful child! You don't care about anyone but yourself, how did you get that way? You know what losing your father has done to me, and yet you take your life and throw it around like it was worthless. Why?

Justin:
Because I wish I was dead! Don't you understand that, I wish I had died over there, mom!

Nora:
Well, you didn't die. And I'll be damned if I'll stand around and watch you kill yourself!

Justin:
It's too much? You want to know what's too much? She's HERE. Mom invited her here.

Kitty:
What do you mean "she's here"?

Justin:
I mean she's out there drinking mojitoes and...and wearing big jewelry!

Nora:
Would you care for some more lamb?

Warren Salter:
What's going on?

Nora:
What do you mean?

Warren Salter:
Well, why isn't anyone but us talking?

Nora:
Oh... Well, they all think that I don't know that my husband had an affair with that women Holly over there; a long one, with a cunning little cottage built for two to go with it. Yes, Warren, you see they all think I'm living in the dark and they're terrified that I'm going to figure it all out tonight. And in their panic and obliviousness and their eagerness to handle me they've lost their very basic ability to conduct themselves in a social circumstance. It's very sad, but there it is... Will someone please pass the mango-peach salsa to Scotty?

Warren Salter:
We don't love the people we love because they're perfect, we love the people we love because they are.

Warren Salter:
You don't know me, Kitty, but you're the first woman I've met in years who sends me spinning. I see you and I drop ten stories inside, every time.

Kitty:
Ah, Warren, you know what? We're not in the last ten minutes of a Julia Roberts movie.

Holly:
The thing is, I don't blame him. I blame myself.

Saul:
We can't help who we love.

Holly:
Yeah, but we can help who we are. We can decide to become ourselves. What I saw tonight... seeing myself in Nora's eyes? Is not... It is time that I become a person. I won't be invisible any longer.

Kitty Walker:
If you guys ever need a babysitter...

Sarah:
Do you know a good one?

Kitty:
Me. Seriously! If you ever need a night out...

Sarah:
No. Our kids are Democrats.

Kitty:
[about golf] Kevin plays.

Kevin:
What? No, Kevin doesn't.

Sarah:
Yeah, Kevin does play. He played on our high school golf team.

Kevin:
Yeah, only because I had a crush on Matthew Brown. I joined everything he joined, even Future Farmers of America... Yeah, he grew a prize-winning pumpkin.

Kitty:
Ooh, I bet he did.

Saul:
Life is lonely, Nora, it's long and lonely. And there are so many genuine evils in this world, I would think that you would at least let someone off the hook for falling in love with the wrong person.

Justin:
Why not fire me, why keep me around?

Tyler Altamirano:
I don't know. Maybe because... I know who you used to be in high school, Justin. You were the boy with the sweetest smile. Who made the future look easy. And I want to give him a second chance.

Tommy:
[to Justin] I'm not like him. Dad never stopped caring about what you did with your life. I do. I stop right now. I stop today.

Kitty:
Woo, what are you all dressed up for?

Nora:
I'm not dressed up.

Kitty:
You're wearing a push-up bra.

Nora:
This is not a... it's a French cup... I got it on sale... You know, it wouldn't hurt you to wear a bra every now and then!

Kevin:
Okay, fine. How's tomorrow night?

Scotty:
My boyfriend and I might have plans, but I'll check.

Kevin:
He can come too, he was kinda hot. How's seven thirty?

Scotty:
Geriatric. Let's say nine.

Scotty:
[to Kevin during their dinner date] I love this part, when you look at someone and they don't look away.

Amber Trachtenberg:
I'm just completely in awe of you. You're really amazing. You're like totally my role model.

Kitty:
[smiling] Oh, thanks.

Amber Trachtenberg:
Except for, you know, your politics.

Jonathan Sellers:
Sometimes I have to remember that not all businesses want to be saved. And the hardest thing is knowing when to give up. That's what you want, isn't it? [Kitty nods] Now I know.

Kitty:
I don't want to be with you, Jonathan, just because I don't want to be alone. We go out for dinner and we talk about politics and we talk about business ... and it works. But it's like the difference between looking good and feeling good.

Nora:
Sarcasm is the refuge for people who know they're wrong and are on the ropes.

Amber Trachtenberg:
You can't buy someone's time. It's all tied to pride in the work ethic, like Sigmund Freud said.

Kevin:
What did Freud say?

Amber Trachtenberg:
He said love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.

Kevin:
Wow. Do people underestimate you a lot?

Amber Trachtenberg:
[nodding] Because of the hair.

Nora:
I was... I am in awe of you, Sarah. You became the woman I always wanted to be. And you did it all without losing your softness or your goodness. I love all my children. But I have so much respect for you, Sarah.

Tommy:
Can you hand me a screwdriver... You know what a screwdriver looks like?

Kevin:
It's orange and comes in a glass filled with ice.

Kevin:
You know, this whole anonymity thing is a joke. If the kid's well dressed and witty, it's mine.

Justin:
You don't stand a chance. My little dudes have been at war.

Kevin:
And stoned for the last ten years. Mine are effective.

Tommy:
Okay, that's enough sperm talk for the rest of my life.

Kitty:
I'm sorry, but when I packed I didn't realize I was going to be walking into Caligula's bathhouse.

Nora:
[holding up a bra] Well, what did you pack for?

Kitty:
I packed for work. Warren and I are... you know, we're preparing for a very big interview.

Nora:
Is that the euphemism of choice these days?

Kitty:
You know, mother, you're just trying to defer the attention because Dave came up here to remodel you.

Justin:
One night my last month in Afghanistan another medic, this guy Doug, and me went out with a squad of rangers. I followed a platoon into the enemy's position just to see if there was anybody alive. Anyway, we went into this... this bunker, this cave... and there was all these bodies, and they were all dead. Except for this one guy who two minutes ago was trying to kill me. I mean, his eyes were just staring at me. Not mean, though, just like... just like, help me. I was staring right at him, and... I didn't do anything. I let him die, Tommy, I mean he was a human being, and I just let him die. So I don't want to do this for you, I want to do this for me. I owe a life.

[Kevin and Kitty are having coffee at an outdoor cafe.]

Kevin:
You're the lying whore of the family!

Kitty:
And you're the stuck-up bitch!

Justin:
Look, I love you guys more than anything in the whole world, and I've been doing a lot of thinking over the last few days. I can't just sit here and let these people tear apart my family like this. God, Kitty, they almost killed you.

Kitty:
No, Justin, I'm fine, I'm here now, it's okay.

Justin:
I know, okay, but the same thing could happen tomorrow, or they could do something even worse. It's just not right.

Nora:
Justin, what's the matter?

Justin:
Nothing's the matter... I enlisted today.

Kevin:
Hi, Scotty, it's... it's Kevin, your least favorite Martian. Look, I've been on your planet for 34 years, and I still get a lot of things wrong. Like about money and work and people and life and... love and everything. Anyway, I just wanted you to know I think you're amazing, and funny, and cute as hell, and I just hope that some day... maybe, I don't know, three Martian years from now, 'cause our years are longer than yours, maybe I could be worthy of your human love and respect. Whether we're together or not. That's all.

Kitty:
So I have an interview with Senator McCallister but then when I come back I'd love to help.

Nora:
Oh Kitty, sweetie-pie I don't know how to say this delicately but I'm not cremating anything.

Kitty:
You know I am an excellent cook, in fact some people even call me a chef.

Nora:
Some with a really good sense of humor.

Justin:
You're both crazy. I enlisted because I wanted to. I went back and forth about a thousand times in my head before I went, and nothing anyone said or did was going to change my mind. It was the best and worst decision I have made in my entire life, but you know what, it was my choice. So I'm not gonna fight the recall. I'm going back.

Kitty:
Mistakes were made. President Ronald Reagan said those words twenty years ago in a time when admitting a mistake was perceived as a sign of strength, not weakness. I made a mistake. I made a mistake in compromising the interview that you're about to see, and I made a mistake in continuing to defend a war that is in desperate need of reexamination. Reexamination which cannot come until we acknowledge that the war itself was a mistake.

Justin:
So wait, we're not having Christmas? Well, that sucks!

Nora:
We are having Christmas and Hanukkah. Both. Bells, whistles, latkas, ornaments, carols, the works.

Kitty:
I think it's great. I think it's great that we're finally embracing our multiculturalism. Uncle Saul will be in heaven. Wait a minute, Martha Stewart has Hanukkah recipes?

Paige:
I don't want to be Jewish; I thought we are Jewish.

Nora:
We're secular humanists, honey.

Paige:
Secu-what?

Sarah:
Okay, Mrs Sartre, that's enough.

Nora:
[to Holly] I came here to forgive you. From the bottom of my heart. William was a strong and generous man, and he always took care of the people he loved. The thing is, he loved two women. It's as simple as that.

Kitty:
We talked twice, once on camera for about, probably twenty minutes. I don't even buy shoes without walking around in them longer than that.

Robert:
You see these shoes? I bought them on the Internet. Sight unseen, never had a problem. I'm a very good judge of quality, Ms. Walker, and of how things are going to fit.

Kitty:
Did you just compare me to shoes?

Robert:
You started it.

Holly:
Well, who knows. Maybe we'll be friends some day.

Nora:
Maybe. But not today.

Kevin:
This guy is messing with my head. In the 'Gay' column I have: Flirting, giving me shoes, Lola the pug. And in the 'Straight' column I have: Girlfriend, Lakers and uses the words dude and bro.

Kevin:
Okay, we've parked at Inspiration Point so you can bitch about your job?

Chad Barry:
I thought we were friends.

Kevin:
I don't know what we are, Chad. You give me shoes, you admire my body, and, you know, I'm sorry, taking a drive up to a beautiful location, regardless of category, is a date. I mean, come on man, driving me all the way up here? You're either going to hack me into a million little pieces or you're gonna kiss me!

Chad Barry:
Well, I'm not a serial killer. So...

[Kevin and Tommy have hidden the alcohol because Justin is out of rehab.]

Nora:
Where did they hide the booze? Tell me, really, I'm not joking.

Saul:
Nora, if I knew where it was I'd be drunk by now

Kevin:
OK. Whatever, where did you hide the wine? I need to get grandma a drink ASAP?

Tommy:
It's in the closet.

Kitty:
You put the wine in my closet.

[Kevin walks over to the closet & opens the door]

Kitty:
Is your little boyfriend in there? [Laughs]

Kevin:
[Yelling from closet] He's not my boyfriend!

[Kitty and Robert enter a closet]

Robert:
If this is where you keep the wine, where do you keep your clothes?

Kitty:
Shut your mouth and come on. Shut the door.

[Robert shuts the door and looks around]

Robert:
I am having like a fifth grade flashback of Deena Segerson and seven minutes in heaven.

[He looks at Kitty who is pouring glasses of wine]

Robert:
Have you always been a closet drinker?

Kitty:
Are you done?

Robert:
No, I'll think of some more.

Kitty:
We had to promise no wine when we took Justin out of rehab.

Ida:
Out of where?

Kitty:
Oh.

Nora:
Mother, Justin is in a rehab program. He's a drug addict.

Kevin:
Oh, mom, a little more discretion. We are in the presence of a US senator.

Robert:
It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

Kevin:
But homosexuality is?

Kitty:
Oh Kevin, you know. Please, enough. Can you just tell him you have a gay brother too.

Ida:
Who's gay?

Kitty:
I...

Robert:
I think you just outed two brothers for the price of one.

Kevin:
Thanks Kitty. That would be me, grandma. I'm gay.

Ida:
You're not gay. Justin maybe, but you?

Kevin:
Oh I am gay, I swear. I am.

Kitty:
You know tonight was unusually bizarre, even for my family.

Robert:
Are you kidding me, it's been fantastic... [pause] like dinner theatre or the circus.

Kitty:
[Kitty calls Sarah] You are never going to believe this. I slept with McCallister.

Sarah:
Oh God, Kitty, you scared me. I thought something bad had happened.

Kitty:
Something bad did happen. Do you understand that I work for him? He is my boss!

Sarah:
Oh please, sleeping with co-workers is like a reflex for you.

Sarah:
And as for Holly, as long as we don't have a gold-digging mistress division, she's of absolutely no use to Ojai Foods or to me.

Robert:
If you're gonna ask me something, you should just ask it.

Kitty:
Senator, are you running for President?

Robert:
Yes, I am, Miss Walker. You know what else? I'm gonna win.

Scotty:
You know, you almost have to love the irony; you're right where I was with you a few months ago.

Kevin:
You know, you ended things with me, Scotty.

Scotty:
Now you know how hard it is to love someone who doesn't love himself. I feel sorry for you. [pause] Good luck, Kevin.

Kitty:
I've got to make Hair Boy look Presidential.

Robert:
Senator Hair Boy, please.

Dr. Jude Bar-Shalom:
There are no shortcuts Sarah, in life or in love. This pain must be felt. The alternative is much worse. It's what makes us special, what makes us beautiful, what, what makes us worthy; the pain of how we love. But that pain is accompanied by something else, isn't it? Hope. With your pain, there is hope. And that is where you are. Somewhere between agony and optimism and prayer. So you're human. You're alive. And that is what we have.

Kitty:
[Robert opens the front door to find Nora and Justin lurking] Mom! What are you doing?

Nora:
Nothing, nothing. I just got here and found Justin here lurking...

Justin:
I wasn't lurking.

Nora:
Then why didn't you go in?

Justin:
Because Kitty was yelling at the senator, Mom.

Kitty:
I liked you so much better when you were stupid.

Justin:
You're stupid.

Kitty:
You're stupid.

Justin:
You're stupider.

Kitty:
You're the stupidest.

Chad Barry:
You know, whatever journey I've been on, I think at age 34 I have finally maybe found out who I want to be, and where I want to go. [puts his hand on Kevin's] And who I want to go there with.

Kevin:
This is the greatest friggin' restaurant on Earth, isn't it?

Robert:
Hold on to what's good. What makes you happy.

Kitty:
You make me happy.

Robert:
I do?

Sarah:
[to Holly] You've done nothing but cause my family pain, so if your perfect little world has come crashing down around you because the truth has finally come out, you know what, join the damn club!

Holly:
I let you treat me like dirt because I loved and respected your father. But I am done treating you with any measure of civility.

Sarah:
Is that a threat?

Holly:
You bet your ass it's a threat.

Rebecca:
[to Holly] It seems pretty simple to me, mom. You were willing to be sloppy seconds for some rich jerk with a wife and kids. And my dad didn't want to fess up to having a bastard child with his mistress because he didn't want to risk his Norman Rockwell life. Do I have it straight, mom?

Rebecca:
I read about you.

Kevin:
Me?

Rebecca:
M-hm, someone sent me a link to the 'Skinny Minnie'. Are you really dating Chad Barry?

Kevin:
Eh, no. Yes, yeah, oh, I... I know him.

Justin:
Like Romeo knows Juliet.

Sarah:
Like Siegfried knows Roy.

Tommy:
[jokingly] Did you bring your DNA kit with you? Are you going to swab her over salad?

Kevin:
I could get a strand of hair.

Tommy:
No, that's not going to work. You have to get it from the root.

Justin:
What are you, Columbo?

Tommy:
I watch all the crime shows.

Kevin:
I'll take her water glass into a lab.

Tommy:
No, no, that's not gonna work either. The glass will get corrupted.

Justin:
Look, are you both high? You want your DNA test right here? She's hot - I feel nothing!

Sarah:
[to Nora] Mom, I didn't come here tonight because of Rebecca, I came here because I want things to be better with us. I need you to care about me the same way that you care about the world.

Rebecca:
This is how you set it up?

Holly:
Don't say that.

Rebecca:
Oh, but it is. I mean, you didn't just deprive me of a father, mom, you deprived me of an entire family.

Holly:
Honey, you have a family. You and me, we're family.

Rebecca:
I could have had so much more. I could have had brothers and sisters all these years, I could have had this busy, chaotic childhood that you fantasize about as a kid. But you didn't let me.

Justin:
I should have a black eye for as long as possible to remind me never to be a chivalrous ass.

Kevin:
I wish I was a chivalrous ass instead of being just wholly an ass.

Sarah:
There's something odd about this.

Kitty:
This what?

Sarah:
This town.

Kitty:
Oh, was the giant man-made artichoke in the town square your first clue?

Sarah:
No, though that was odd.

Emily Craft:
This may be a cocktail party, but I don't know which blanket that little piggy's going to be under, if you get my drift.

Nora:
I don't even know what that means.

Robert:
From what I hear, Kevin's a serial dater.

Kitty:
No, no, no, he just, you know, no, he was just picking the wrong guys.

Robert:
Please Kitty, you used the phrase, and I'm quoting here, man whore.

Rebecca:
Okay, I never really had brothers and sisters so I don't know how big families work, um, maybe this is the normal thing to do you know, just do things in a clump, like you all get together, solve problems.

Kevin:
No, no, we tend to make things worse and then blame each other.

Sarah:
Yeah, that's pretty much how it works.

Julia:
[about the last Game Night] Was that the night Kitty threw the trophy at your head?

Tommy:
Yeah, that was it. 12 stitches.

Kitty:
No, 6. It was 6 stitches and I tossed it you.

Tommy:
Threw it.

Kitty:
And you just somehow couldn't catch it.

Kitty:
[Trying to set Kevin up with Jason McCallister] He's completely your type.

Kevin:
What, attractive and emotionally unavailable?

Kitty:
No, that would be you.

Paige:
Connect four.

Kevin:
What? Where?

Paige:
One, two, three four. I win.

Kevin:
What, whoa, what? Wait, were you distracting me? That was a set up?

Paige:
Yeah.

Kevin:
Wow, great strategy. Wait till you're old enough for game night.

Holly:
Listen to me. I have had a front-row seat to that family for years. I know what it feels like to be an outsider, how enticing they can be. But whatever you think you want from them, trust me, you are not going to get it this way.

Rebecca:
Excuse me?

Holly:
I know you, Rebecca. And I am guessing that Joe did not just come on to you out of the blue.

Rebecca:
Just because you're a whore doesn't mean that I am.

Nora:
This is not a class. You're asking me out. Is this because I wouldn't go out on a date with you? If it is mister, let me tell you this is sexual harassment and I don't plan to take that lying down.

Mark August:
The jokes that are running through my head right now.

Nora:
Well, keep them there.

Paige:
Uncle Kevin, can I ask you a question?

Kevin:
How come I got all the good looks in the family?

Kitty Walker|Kitty]]:
Will you marry me?... Oh. Oh my God. No, no-no-no, I didn't, did I just say, yes I did, I did, I just proposed to you.

Robert:
I think that you just did.

Kitty:
Oh it's not. It's not top secret. But it, yes it's a... it is, it's a very sensitive national security thing. I'm sorry that's all I can say about it.

Kevin:
I'm sorry, "thing"?

Sarah:
That's why McCallister gave you a bag of lingerie to take with you? Oh yeah, I can see the faith of the free world hangs in the balance.

Justin:
Apparently that's not the only thing that's hanging.

Kitty:
Oh that's funny, Justin. When did you get to be so funny?

Holly:
I can't believe you did that! This dress is couture!

Nora:
I'm sure it's been stained before!

Sarah:
What does a girl have to do to get a drink around here?

Tommy:
Uh, follow Kevin around.

Nora:
Sarah, you're such a good mom. I know you're not a quitter, sweetheart. I wasn't either, and maybe that's why I never let myself see what was really happening. I stood by your father blindly, no matter what. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did, I don't want you to. You have to decide whether you can ever trust Joe again or not, and if you can't...

Sarah:
What if I can?

Nora:
Holly, I'm going to tell you something you don't want to hear. You have to let him go. I did.