Charmed, Season 1

Piper:
Prue?

Prue:
In here, working on the chandelier.

Piper:
Sorry, I'm late.

Prue:
What else is new? You know, Piper, I would have been here to wait for an electrician myself, but you know I can't leave museum until six. I didn't even have time to change.

Piper:
I just... I didn't realize how long I was in Chinatown. Did Jeremy call?

Prue:
No, but he had some roses and a package delivered. What were you doing in Chinatown? I through that you had an interview at North Beach.

Piper:
I did, but later I went to YoungLi market after my interview to get the ingredients for my audition recipe tomorrow.

Prue:
So that Wolfgang cook did not hire you today?

Piper:
No, but this just may get me the job.

Prue:
Jeremy sent you port?

Piper:
It's the ultimate ingredient for my recipe.

Prue:
Nice boyfriend.

Piper:
Oh my God. I don't believe it. Tell me that's not our old spirit board.

Prue:
Yeah, I found it in the basement when I was looking for the circuit tester.

Piper:
"To my three beautiful girls. May this give you the light to find the shadows. The Power of Three will set you free. Love, Mom." We never did figure out what this inscription meant.

Prue:
Oh, you should send it to Phoebe, that girl is so in the dark, maybe a little bit of light will help.

Piper:
You're always so hard on her.

Prue:
Piper, the girl has no vision, no sense of the future.

Piper:
I really think Phoebe's coming around.

Prue:
Well, as long as she doesn't come around here I guess that's good news.

Darryl:
Well, it's about time.

Andy:
I got here as soon as I heard. Another dead female, right? Mid to late 20s?

Darryl:
I've been paging you for over an hour, Truedau. Where have you been?

Andy:
Oakland. Checking out a lead.

Darry:
What lead?

Andy:
One that didn't go anywhere.

Darryl:
You're avoiding my question.

Andy:
Because you don't want to know I went to an occult shop.

Darryl:
You hate me, don't you? You wanna see me suffer.

Andy:
I want so solve these murders. Someone's after witches.

Darryl:
Women.

Andy:
That women up there, I bet she was killed by an athame.

Darryl:
Wrong. Double-edged steel knife.

Andy:
Right. That's an athame. It's a ceremonial tool. Witches use them to direct energy.

Darryl:
That women didn't direct jack. She was stabbed. Plain and simple.

Andy:
Was she found near an altar?

Darryl:
Yes.

Andy:
Were there carvings on that altar?

Darryl:
Just do me a favor. Don't ever follow a lead without checking with me first.

Andy:
You want to go to occult shops?

Darryl:
Just get to work, okay?

Jeremy:
Inspector Truedau! Jeremy Burns, San Francisko Chronicle. You care to comment?

Andy:
A women was stabbed. Plain and simple.

Jeremy:
That's a third one in three weeks.

Prue:
I don't get it. I have checked everything. There's no reason why the chandelier should not be working.

Piper:
We've been talking about what to do with that spare room. I think you're right, we do need a roommate.

Prue:
Well we could rent out a room at a reduced rate in exchange to help around the house.

Piper:
Phoebe's good with wrench.

Prue:
Phoebe lives in New York.

Piper:
Not anymore.

Prue:
What?

Piper:
She left New York. She's moving back in with us.

Prue:
You've got to be kidding.

Piper:
Well, I could hardley say no. It's her house too, it was willed to all of us.

Prue:
Yeah, months ago. And we haven't seen her or spoken to her since.

Piper:
Well, you haven't spoken to her.

Prue:
No, I haven't. Maybe you forgot why I'm so mad at her.

Piper:
Well, of course not, but she had nowhere else to go. She lost her job, she's in debt.

Prue:
And this is news? How long have you known about this anyway?

Piper:
A couple of days. Maybe a week, or two...

Prue:
Thanks for sharing. When does she arrive?

Phoebe:
Surprise! I found the hide-a-key!

Piper:
Phoebe, welcome home. It's so good to see you. Isn't it, Prue?

Prue:
I'm speechless.

Phoebe:
Oops, I forget about the cab.

Piper:
I'll get it.

Prue:
Piper, that's my purse!

Phoebe:
Thanks, I'll pay you back.

Prue:
Is that all that you brought?

Phoebe:
That's all that I own, that and bike. Look, I know that you don't want me here...

Prue:
We're not selling Gram's house.

Phoebe:
Is that why you think I came back?

Prue:
Look, the only reason Piper and I gave up our apartment and moved back was because this house has been in our family for generations.

Phoebe:
No history lesson needed. I grew up here, too. So, can we talk about what's really bothering you?

Prue:
No, I'm still furious with you.

Phoebe:
So, you'd rather have a tense reunion filled with boring chitchat and unimportant small talk?

Prue:
No, but otherwise we won't have anything to talk about.

Phoebe:
I never touched Roger.

Prue:
Whoa!

Phoebe:
I know you think otherwise because that's what that Armani-wearing-chardonnay-slugging-trust-funder told you, but...

Piper:
Hey! I have a great idea! Why don't I make a fabulous reunion dinner?

Prue:
I'm not hungry.

Phoebe:
Ate on the bus.

Piper:
Okay, we'll try a group hug later.

Piper:
It's me.

Phoebe:
Come on in. Oh, thank God, I'm starving!

Piper:
I figured. Hey, that's my boyfriend, Jeremy. What happened?

Phoebe:
Oh, some women got whacked.

Piper:
"Whacked?" Phoebe, you've been in New York way too long.

Phoebe:
Yeah, I should have stayed. So, why didn't you tell Prue I was coming back?

Piper:
And risk her changing the locks? I don't think so. Besides, you should have been the one to tell her, not me.

Phoebe:
Good point, Chicken Little. It's just so hard for me to talk to her. She's always been more like a mother.

Piper:
It's not her fault, she pracitally had to sacrifice...

Piper and Phoebe:
...her own childhood to...

Piper:
...raise us.

Phoebe:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Piper:
Hey, we're lucky she was so responsible. You and I had it easy. All we had to do is be there.

Phoebe:
Yeah, well, I don't need a mom anymore. You know, I need a sister.

Prue:
Hey. This was always the coldest room in the house.

Phoebe:
Thanks.

Phoebe:
I forgot your question.

Piper:
I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year.

Phoebe:
That's disgusting. (looks at spirit board) Please say yes.

(There's a loud clap of thunder and the power goes out.)

(Cut to the foyer. Piper is walking towards the door. Prue is following her.)

Prue:
Don't you think you're overreacting? We are perfectly safe here.

Piper:
Don't say that. In horror movies, the person who says that is always the next to die.

Phoebe:
Hear now the words of the witches The secrets we hid in the night. The oldest of gods are invoked here The great work of magic is sought. ... In this night and in this hour I call upon the ancient power. Bring your powers to we sisters three! We want the power. Give us the power.

Hear now the words of the witches

The secrets we hid in the night.

The oldest of gods are invoked here

The great work of magic is sought.

... In this night and in this hour

I call upon the ancient power.

Bring your powers to we sisters three!

We want the power. Give us the power.

Phoebe:
No. According to the Book Of Shadows, one of our ancestors was a witch, named Melinda Warren.

Piper:
And we have a cousin who's a drunk, an aunt who's manic, and a father who's invisible.

Prue:
Excuse me, Phoebe, but I'm not exactly in a homeopathic mood right now!

Phoebe:
Well, move your headache out of your mind. (a bottle of aspirin flies off the shelf and into Prue's hand) You move things when you're upset.

Prue:
This is ridiculous. I thought that you landed on your arm, not your head.

Phoebe:
You don't believe me?

Prue:
Of course I don't believe you!

Phoebe:
(in a sing-song voice) Roger ... (two more bottles fly off the shelf) Now let's talk about Dad and see what happens.

Prue:
He's dead, Phoebe.

Phoebe:
No, he's moved from New York, and he's very much alive.

Prue:
He isn't to me. He died the day he moved out.

Phoebe:
What are you talking about? He's always been a major button-pusher for you. You're mad he's alive, you're mad that I tried to find him, and you're mad that I moved back. Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad. (several shelves collapse, and Prue and Phoebe burst out laughing)

Piper:
That was you? You killed all those women.

Jeremy:
Not women, witches.

Piper:
Why?

Jeremy:
It was the only way to get their powers.

Prue:
What are you watchining?

Piper:
Nothing. Just a show.

Prue:
About witches? Are you worried we're gonna be burned at the stake?

Piper:
Yeah, right. By the way, Andy called.

Prue:
When?

Piper:
While you were in the shower.

Prue:
What did you tell him?

Piper:
That you were in the shower. Bad date?

Prue:
No. No, no. Not at all. It was great. You know. Dinner. Movie. Sex.

Piper:
Excuse me? On your first date? You sleaze.

Prue:
It wasn't exactly our first date, Piper.

Piper:
High school doesn't count. That was last decade. Spill it. Ooh, that bad, huh?

Prue:
No. Actually, that good. It was... well, we were amazing, but that's not the point. I told myself that things would be different, that we would take it slow. It just shouldn't've happened, that's all.

Phoebe:
What shouldn't've happened?

Piper:
Prue slept with Andy.

Phoebe:
Hello!

Prue:
Oh, thanks a lot, mouth.

Phoebe:
Wait, you were going to tell her, but not me? Family meeting!

Prue:
Speaking of last night, what time did you enter falling in?

Phoebe:
No no no, do not change the subject!

Prue:
Don't dodge the question!

Piper:
It must've been at least after three.

Phoebe:
I must still be on New York time.

Prue:
Actually, that would make it later.

Prue:
Our powers are not toys.

Andy:
Come on, Prue. Listen to me. We've known each other for a long time. We just couldn't help ourselves. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Prue:
I know, Andy.

Andy:
All we did was make love.

Prue:
I know, Andy.

Phoebe:
Newsflash! Stop worrying. You'll get wrinkles.

Prue:
Yeah...and she is wearing Armani! Where did she get that?

Piper:
Not from my closet.

Piper:
Don't put me in the middle.

Prue:
I'm not. You were born in the middle.

Piper:
I think this woman is Brittany Reynolds.

Prue:
Yeah, and I'm Rosie O'Donnell.

Piper:
A toast to the power of three. Whether we like it or not.

Piper:
I hate being a witch.

Prue:
Brittany, are you alright?

Piper:
I'll call 911.

Prue:
And tell them what? That she's dying of old age at 25?

Prue, Piper and Phoebe:
Evil Eyes look onto thee May they soon extiniguish thee, Bend thy will to the power of three, Eye of earth, evil and a curse.

Evil Eyes look onto thee

May they soon extiniguish thee,

Bend thy will to the power of three,

Eye of earth, evil and a curse.

Prue:
Um, hi. You must be Mr. Wyatt.

Phoebe:
The handyman?

Leo:
Call me Leo.

Phoebe:
Gladly.

Prue:
Some of us have a job.

Phoebe:
Some of us have fun.

Piper:
And some of us are having a really bad hair day.

Piper:
Wait a sec. Last week we had no Dad and now we have two?

Marshall:
I don't know what kind of people you're used to dealing with, but I'd lay serious coin that they aren't willing to rip you into a thousand pieces and dance in your entrails.

Victor:
Oh, so you're lawyers.

Victor:
Always in a hurry, Prue. You skipped crawling and went straight to walking.

Prue:
Oh, we're sharing memories. Well, I've got one of my own - your back walking out the door.

Piper:
Okay, we have to call the cops and report it as a break-in.

Prue:
And tell them what? That someone broke into our house to try and steal our broomsticks?

Fritz:
So, Prue, I hear your friend's a cop.

Prue:
Inspector, actually.

Fritz:
Oh, yeah. (to Andy) Well, I got these parking tickets...

Andy:
Yeah, my focus is mainly homicide, robbery.

Fritz:
Yeah. Yeah. So I have these parking tickets...

Phoebe:
Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we throw a party and charge admission. It's a great way to make extra cash.

Prue:
Hey, I have an even better idea. Why don't you just get a job?

Piper:
Hey look. It's dad's ring. What's it doing here?

Phoebe:
It must have slipped off when he, uh... fell. (referring to when Prue telekinetically hurled him onto the wall)

Piper:
Why? I mean after all this time? Why here? Why now?

Victor:
Well, I heard the food here is pretty good, and it is dinner time.

Piper:
Leave it to me to fall for a dead guy.

Phoebe:
It's an improvement. At least he wasn't a warlock.

Piper:
Well, I can talk about food all night long.

Mark:
Yeah? Well, I can talk about it forever.

Mark:
Yama!

Piper:
Yama? Run.

Mark:
It's too late, you better go. Run! (Piper freezes Yama) What happened?

Piper:
I'm a good witch, remember?

Mark:
But how?

Piper:
I don't know. I panic, I put up both hands and bad things tend to freeze.

Mark:
For how long?

Piper:
Not very, let's go.

Phoebe:
We're The Charmed Ones, Prue, not The Doomed Ones.

Piper:
I snuck the photograph into Andy's interoffice mail.

Mark:
My afterlife's in the hands of a cop named Andy.

Prue:
Phoebe, you have to save him. You can't let him out of your sight.

Phoebe:
Oh, don't worry. I waited until he went to sleep, and then I broke a key off in his door to lock him in. He's safe 'till morning. (silence) Hey, wait. That's it? You're not going to get mad at me?

Prue:
You were trying to do something good… and now you're going to get to do something… wonderful. I couldn't ask for a better birthday present than that.

Phoebe:
I am so busted, aren't I?

Piper:
Are you out of your mind again?

Phoebe:
No. I'm the Amazing Phoebe.

Piper:
This is not funny. Our powers are supposed to be a secret, not a marketable job skill.

Piper:
I've never seen anybody killed before.

Phoebe:
Jeremy.

Prue:
Javna.

Piper:
I mean humans.

Phoebe:
Don't worry. We had safe sex. A lot of safe sex.

Piper:
(after trying to copy an exercise video) Uh, I give up. Two weeks and nothing strengthened but my temper.

Prue:
Piper, here's the problem. You didn't read the fine print. See, it says right here. $19.95 for the video and twenty grand for the plastic surgeon.

Piper:
So, what's up?

Phoebe:
I, uh, I found this spell. "How to attract a lover".

Piper:
No, Phoebe. Forget it. We're not casting any spells.

Phoebe:
Come on. There must be more to our powers than warlock wasting. I'm ready to have some fun with our magic.

Piper:
No. No personal gain, remember?

Phoebe:
How is it personal gain, if we're using our powers to bring happiness to another person. And in my case lots and lots of happiness...

Piper:
Nothing?

Phoebe:
Nada.

Piper:
There's got to be something.

Phoebe:
I'm telling you, there's no Dream Sorcerer stuff anywhere.

Piper:
That's impossible. The Book of Shadows has never let us down.

Phoebe:
Well, maybe he's not a demon. Maybe he's a mortal.

Piper:
Then he's got one hell of a power.

Phoebe:
You're not kidding.

Prue:
Piper? Phoebe?

Piper:
Prue. You're home. I thought you had a date with Andy.

Prue:
Uh, no. He had to cancel. What are you doing?

Piper:
Hmm...

Phoebe:
Piper, I was wrong. The spell calls for cayenne pepper not black pepper. (She walks in the kitchen and sees Prue) Ooh. Did I say spell? I ... I meant recipe. We are so busted, aren't we?

Prue:
I would say yes. What spell are you casting?

Phoebe:
You want a man who is single, smart, endowed?

Piper:
Employed.

Hans:
Morning.

Prue:
Uh, excuse me but who are you?

Piper:
Who cares?

Phoebe:
Hans, I found your t... shirt.

First Guy:
Are your parents terrorists? Cause, baby, you're the bomb.

Second Guy:
Jim, Jim, ask her if it hurt when she fell.

Phoebe:
Uh, excuse me?

Guy:
When you fell from Heaven. Did it hurt? Cause I know an angel when I see one.

Phoebe:
I'm no angel. I'm a witch. But don't tell my sisters I told you.

Prue:
My sisters and I, we have special gifts.

Allison Michaels:
Gifts? What kind of gifts?

Prue:
Ones you can't return. Let's just say we come from an interesting kind of family tree.

Rex:
Prue, your, um, sister's here to see you. She's waiting in your office.

Prue:
Which sister?

Rex:
The one who upon seeing your office, said "Damn, I should go back to college."

Prue:
Phoebe.

Prue:
Ok, so it's time to shower, shampoo and go kick some Hecate butt.

Phoebe:
Did she just say shower?

Piper:
She did, didn't she?

Piper & Phoebe:
Hot water!

Phoebe:
Ok, I can't hold it any longer. Your name isn't Piper, and that's the good news. You're really Hecate, Queen of the Underworld, you're pregnant with a demon child, which means...I'm afraid I have to kill you.

Piper:
What?!

Prue:
Phoebe, what is it that you saw exactly?

Phoebe:
Well, I-I saw the thing being born.

Prue:
Did you see Piper?

Phoebe:
Yes, I saw her legs.

Prue:
Never saw her face?

Phoebe:
No.

Piper:
Hello, bickering sisters. I'm not pregnant but I am in the room.

Phoebe:
Okay, Piper tell me the truth. Am I a boyfriend thief?

Piper:
Totally.

Phoebe:
Besides Roger. Whom, by the way, Prue, I never touched.

Piper:
My boyfriend, Billy Wilson.

Phoebe:
(chuckles) Bill-- Will-- Eighth grade Billy Wilson?

Piper:
You kissed him at homecoming.

Phoebe:
I did not kiss him at homecoming.

Piper:
Oh, please. You were all over him, with your breasts all...whatever.

Phoebe:
I didn't even have breasts back then.

Piper:
Phoebe, you've always had breasts.

Piper:
So you know... it's not like either one of us has a problem finding guys...

Phoebe:
Please.

Piper:
So if one of us got Leo, it'd be ok with the other one.

Phoebe:
Absolutely.

Piper:
So we can just consider this a friendly competition.

Phoebe:
Sibling rivalry.

Piper:
War.

Phoebe:
Exactly!

Piper:
Hungry?

Leo:
Uh.

Piper:
Oh, it's on the house.

Leo:
You're big on food, aren't you?

Piper:
Uh...

Leo:
No, that's good. You know, actually, in the Mayan culture the cook was second in the hierarchy only to the medicine man.

Piper:
Mayans? You know about Mayans? Well, you certainly are a handyman, aren't you?

Leo:
Uh, so, does Phoebe work here too?

Piper:
Phoebe? Work? No, no, no, she's probably at her gay and lesbian group right about now. So what'll it be?

Phoebe (to Leo about Piper):
Oh, that's just Piper. She's got to be everyone's mom. Think of her as your mom, I know I do.

Phoebe:
Piper, what do you really think about your boss?

Piper:
I think he's a self-serving jerk who must have a very small penis...(Piper, Phoebe and Prue all gasp/laugh) Oh my God, I'm gonna be so fired!

Prue:
For those who want the truth revealed, Opened hearts and secrets unsealed, From now until it's now again, After which the memory ends. Those who are now in this house, Will hear the truth from other's mouths.

For those who want the truth revealed,

Opened hearts and secrets unsealed,

From now until it's now again,

After which the memory ends.

Those who are now in this house,

Will hear the truth from other's mouths.

Phoebe:
She's carrying!

Piper:
Carrying what?

Phoebe:
A baby! She's pregnant!

Piper:
Ohh.

(Piper starts to go towards Tanya)

Phoebe:
No, no. She doesn't know yet.

Piper:
Oh.

Leo:
Well, I wanted to see you, I just um... I have this really strange feeling that I did something that I should apologize for. Did I?

Piper:
No, no. Definitely not. Can I buy you a drink?

Andy:
I don't know. I mean of all the things I thought you were hiding, this was actually nowhere on the list. Does this mean Piper and Phoebe are...

Prue:
Yeah. We inherited our powers from Mom and Grams.

Andy:
So, when you have kids...

Prue:
If they're girls...yes.

Phoebe:
He had that look... You know what I'm talking about, you might recognize it from the mirror.

Piper:
Don't even think of asking me what I think of you right now!

Prue:
Don't you hate turkey?

Hannah:
Of course I do, just don't want you to have it.

Prue:
Is there any reason why you are such a bitch to me?

Hannah:
Yes, because it's my mission in life to destroy you.

Piper:
Leo, how do you feel about women who make the first move?

Leo:
I don't know, I'm still waiting for it to happen.

Piper:
Good news.

(Piper kisses Leo)

Leo:
How do you feel about guys who make the second move?

Piper:
Love 'em!

Prue:
I'm about to tell my boyfriend that I'm a wi...

Phoebe:
...nner!

Melinda Warren:
How do modern women keep their legs warm?

Prue:
We drink coffee.

Melinda Warren:
"To work with One's hands is a great gift."

Leo:
Well ... "I am a true laborer. I earn that I eat, get that I wear"

Melinda Warren:
"Owe no man hate, envy no man's happiness..."

Melinda/Leo:
Shakespeare.

Matthew Tate:
If you like what you see, take a look. What's with all this false modesty in this era?

Hannah:
Well, it's complicated with all the Women's Rights and sexual harassment...

Piper:
Am I the only one having second thoughts?

Phoebe:
Yes.

Prue:
We don't really have any others options.

Piper:
But aren't we, like, raising the dead? What if she's all..

Phoebe:
I read The Book of Shadows very carefully. She will come back as a real live person, flesh and blood. She will have her powers too, our powers. (Phoebe picks up a knife.)

Piper:
What's that for?

Phoebe:
Well, the spell works by blood calling blood, so it shouldn't hurt.. much. (Phoebe cuts her finger.) I lied, I lied. Okay, come on guys. It'll be just like the summer by the lake. Remember when we made a blood oath to be friends forever, not just sisters? (Prue takes the knife.)

Piper:
I remember my finger got infected.

Prue:
(Prue cuts her finger.) Ow. Yeah, but the oath worked.

Piper:
And I couldn't go in the water for three weeks. (Prue holds out the knife.) Don't hand me that knife.

Prue:
How are you gonna cut yourself?

Piper:
I'm not.

Phoebe:
Piper.

Piper:
I can't stand the sight of blood.

Prue:
Evil beings have blown up in our attic..

Phoebe:
..Disintegrated to dust right before our very eyes..

Prue:
And you're afraid of a little drop of blood?

Prue:
Great, so I'm being hunted by a warlock and the San Francisco P.D.

Melinda:
No, don't...don't rip the dress to make it fit me.

Phoebe:
Oh, no, no, I'm not ripping it. It's called a zipper, see?(Phoebe zips up the dress)

Melinda:
Oh, a wise witch made this.(Melinda takes the dress off of Phoebe and plays with the zipper)

Phoebe:
Yeah, and wise witches in this century keep a low profile. You slip this dress on, you'll blend right in.

Phoebe:
You've never asked a guy out before?

Piper:
Not on a real date, no

Phoebe:
I don't understand. Am I the only person in this family who's inherited the 'take a chance' gene?

Piper:
Probably, 'cause if I remember my biology correctly it's attached to the 'can't mind my own business' gene.

Prue:
Somebody must have manipulated me into taking it.

Phoebe:
The same way someone manipulated me into being a witness against my own sister!

Darryl:
Any idea about what they're talking about?

Andy:
Not a clue.

Andy:
Hey, I thought you didn't know my first name.

Darryl:
Prue said it.

Darryl:
You have to admit, you stopped seeing Prue for a reason, you thought she was hiding something from you. How do you know she wasn't hiding something like this?

Andy:
A secret life of crime? I don't think so.

Darryl:
You got a better explanation?

(After Piper and Leo have spent the night together)

Phoebe:
Between you and Leo, and Prue the new-hot-Wicca woman, and me, soon to be employed, things are looking up.

Piper:
Don't say that! The moment somebody says that everything always goes south!

Phoebe:
Unless you freeze him. Ooh! I couldn't help it, it was so good!

Phoebe:
Prue was right about Rex, which means I'm dating a warlock!

Piper:
Been there, done that!

Phoebe:
Problems?

Prue:
What problems?

Piper:
Well, it's been a while since, you know, I-I was a little nervous, and I kinda kept freezing him.

Prue:
Piper, you didn't?

Piper:
I didn't mean to...the first time.

Phoebe:
Oh!

Piper:
I thought you guys were supposed to be shopping.

Prue:
Obviously.

Phoebe (points):
Oh, look, front-clasped bra. She means business.

Prue:
Ooh, serious business.

Piper:
(pulls her shirt closed) Do you mind?

Phoebe:
No, are you kidding? I think it's great -- as long as he's not still on the clock.

Piper:
What the hell was that?

Phoebe:
I think you just answered your own question.

Prue:
The Guardian punishes the greedy, so maybe if Clay does something selfless, it'll even the score.

Piper:
Good luck...

Prue:
Seasons change, people don't...

Phoebe:
I changed. Do you remember what you thought of me before I walked back through that door?

Prue:
That's different.

Phoebe:
How is that different?

Prue:
You're my sister.

Coroner:
I found someone's business card in his pocket. Buckland's Auction House.

Andy:
(cutting him off) Ah. Let me guess, Prue Halliwell?

Coroner:
Yeah. How did you know?

Andy:
I'm cursed.

Phoebe:
Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here, with me, now?

Clay:
What, can't a guy visit?

Phoebe:
Yeah, but you're not just a guy, you're Clay, and Clay comes with strings attached.

Phoebe (talking on the phone with Piper):
Okay, you put the jack under the jeep and then put the handle in the base and ratchet it up and down, okay? It's very easy.

Piper:
Handle. Handle. I don't think I got a handle. Wait, there's a long wooden spoon in the back.

Phoebe:
(talking to Prue) That's not gonna work. She's looking for a long wooden spoon.

Phoebe:
(talking on the phone with Piper) Piper, you're stranded and you're all alone, and the only thing you have to protect yourself with is a wooden spoon that's broken.

Piper:
No problem... for I bear the power of.... One.

Piper:
Oh, my God, that's a lot of blood.

Prue:
Hey, sweetie.

Phoebe:
Oh, my God! Are you okay?

Piper:
Yeah, I'm fine. If I pass out and I need a transfusion, I'm AB negative. It's very rare. It could be a problem.

Andy:
Try not to look at it. And just so you know, I'm AB negative too. Plus, I love good food. Perfect donor.

Prue:
You really wanna work at Bucklands with me?

Phoebe:
When opportunity knocks, I answer the door.

Prue:
The job is very demanding. Auctions can be stressful.

Phoebe:
I love a challenge.

Prue:
We work pretty long hours.

Phoebe:
Overtime is my friend. Plus, I just thought of something else. With my premonitions, I might just be able to get you the straight dope. Without a trip to the office water cooler.

Prue:
Don't push it.

Phoebe:
Right. So, what do you think?

Prue:
Can you start tomorrow?

Phoebe:
Yes. Hey, can you give me a ride?

Piper:
Nothing. This is just the same crap I've already seen.

Prue:
I tried Andy's cell phone, no answer.

Phoebe:
We can't find anything about revearsing the Wendigo thing.

Prue:
Well, there's got to be something. Oh, didn't you check this at the bottom of the page? "c.f. Desiderata."

Phoebe:
Yeah, like we're supposed to know what that means.

Prue:
Well, it means "conferred desiderata." It's Latin for "look up things that are yearned for."

Piper:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so very smart.

Prue:
Piper.

Piper:
Don't Piper me. Just shut up!

Prue:
But we might have to confine you until we get back. So tie you down, I guess.

Piper:
No! Go to hell!

Prue:
Do we have any chains?

Phoebe:
I actually think I have something. (walks in with handcuffs)

Prue:
Where did you get the--? Never mind.

Piper (under the influence of the Wendigo):
Back off. What? Do you think I can't walk now?

Phoebe:
Honey, we're just trying to help you.

Piper :
Help me. You can't even hold a job.

Prue:
Okay. Now wait a minute, Piper.

Piper:
Oh, save it. Do you always have to be in charge? (Prue and Phoebe look at each other, confused)

Piper:
(normal) I'm so sorry. What's happening to me?

Phoebe:
...besides, that's your world, I need to find one of my own.

Prue:
You will.

Piper:
Just stay out of my world or I'll kill you!

(Phoebe frowns and Prue stares at her confused, Piper starts getting up)

Piper:
Just kidding, it's a joke!

Andy:
What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Prue:
First of all, no one should ever be in those shoes.

Leo:
Oh, well, I thought I'd tell her that, uh, you know, as much as I love her and as much as I would like to stay in San Francisco, I can't, a-and I don't know how long my work will keep me away.

Phoebe:
No, no. What you just said was as much as you would love to stay and have sex with her, you have a wife and kids in another part of the country. Try again.

Leo:
Uh... (chuckles) Piper, um, you know how much you mean to me, and more than anything, I wish things can work out, but, they can't... and no one is more sorry than me.

Phoebe:
(shakes her head) Translation? I found someone I like even better.

Leo:
I'm completely confused.

Phoebe:
Look, Leo, it's not that complicated. Okay, um, just avoid the following: We can still hang out; I don't deserve you... yet; I need more "me time" before we can have "we time" (makes air quotes), and my personal favorite: It's not you, it's me. And whatever you do, do not start of the conversation with "we need to talk", other than that you'll do fine.

Piper (about Leo) :
It just seemed like he wasn't telling me the whole story, like he had some secret he was afraid I couldn't handle.

Phoebe:
Well, that's his call. Assuming that he had a secret. Might not have.

Piper:
What are you talking about?

Phoebe:
Ok, ok, you don't have to beat it out of me. Leo is a whitelighter. They're sort of guardian angels for witches. And they're not supposed to get involved with witches, but Leo couldn't help it. He fell in love with you, and that broke all the rules and got him in all sorts of trouble. And even though he'll love you forever, you will probably never see him again.

Piper:
What? Phoebe, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Oh, God. Don't be so silly.

Phoebe:
That's me, silly.

Piper:
And looky here, miss Phoebe's diaries...

Phoebe:
The place where I kept all my secrets...

(Piper and Prue stare at her with a suspicious look)

Piper:
What?

Prue:
The place where you kept your secrets?

(Phoebe nods)

Piper:
Phoebe, you could never keep a secret...

Phoebe:
Oh, that is so not true.

Leo:
In the meantime, you must help me keep my secret or I can get into trouble, ok? Piper and Prue can never know what I really am.

Phoebe:
Me keep a secret? Hello, wrong Halliwell!

Piper:
You're the only Halliwell that actually likes earthquakes.

Prue:
I don't like them, but I don't go running through the house naked screaming "run for your life" either.

Phoebe:
Okay. That is such an exaggeration. I was wearing slippers.

Piper:
I can handle it all myself. It's me, the culinary pachyderm.

Phoebe:
I am light, I am one too strong to fight, Return to dark where shadows dwell, You can not have this Halliwell. Go away and leave my sight, And take with you this endless night.

I am light,

I am one too strong to fight,

Return to dark where shadows dwell,

You can not have this Halliwell.

Go away and leave my sight,

And take with you this endless night.

Prue:
You know, someday you might actually hear yourself say stuff like that.

Phoebe:
Yes, and I will find myself sassy and delightful.

Piper:
This is ridiculous. This is like, this is like the 'Parent Trap' with a B cup.

Phoebe:
I think I might've just found a way to take some of the Disney out of our life

Piper:
I don't know. Maybe only one set of us can have powers at the same time in the same time.

Prue:
Thank you Mr Spock.

Grams:
It was doomed from the start. You never even took his last name!

Patty:
You wouldn't let me.

Grams:
Well that's beside the point.

Grams:
What was the name of my husband?

Prue:
Which husband?

Grams:
Oh Patty, I just KNEW I'd deliver the Charmed Ones.

(Patty makes a face)

Grams:
Oh, well, once removed of course...

Little Prue:
You're pretty.

Prue:
So are you.

Piper:
Oh, give me a break.

Piper:
I'm supposed to throw out perfectly good flowers just because they came from a creep? If that was the rule, we would never have flowers.

Grams:
What's the secret ingredient in my blueberry cobbler?

Piper:
Honey, and a splash of rum.

Piper:
We didn't go anywhere. We were just standing here, and the next thing we knew...

Phoebe:
We were just standing here.

Patty:
I told you to use poplar buds.

Grams:
It's a perfectly good spell. I mean, it moved them through time.

Patty:
Yeah, ten seconds.

Prue:
Hey, um, you can sleep in my room and I'll sleep with Piper.

Brendan:
Why?

Prue:
Because Phoebe kicks.

Piper:
(peeks into the hall) It's clear.

(Piper walks out, followed by Phoebe, then Prue, then Brendan in his vestments. As they are walking, Greg and Paul come out from around a corner.)

Greg:
You betrayed us, little brother. I'm very disappointed.

Brendan:
Leave them out of this, Greg.

Greg:
You're protecting witches now?! You make me sick!

Piper:
Prue?

Prue:
Now!

(Piper tries to freeze Greg, but he raises a force field around him. Phoebe picks up Brendan's knife and throws it at Greg, but Greg raises a force field around him and it bounces off. Prue tries to throw them into the wall, but it has no effect due to the force fields.)

Greg:
No, not this time. I'm ready for you. (picks up the knife) But family first.

Brendan:
You want me? Come get me.

(Greg grabs the knife and is ready to throw it, but Paul stops him)

Paul:
Greg, wait!

Prue:
Brendan, don't let them turn you. Don't use your powers.

Paul:
(to Greg) Give him a chance. (turns to Brendan) It's not too late, you can still join us.

Greg:
You are either with us or you are against us!

Brendan:
Then I'm against you.

Greg:
Then you will die. (he throws the knife at Brendan, but Paul jumps in front and the knife goes into him instead) Damn you, Brendan!

Paul:
No, Greg. (he pulls the knife out of him) Damn you! (He throws the knife and hits Greg, and both slump over dead)

Phoebe:
If you were going to lose a guy, it might as will be to the Big Guy.

Phoebe:
Then what's wrong with being a couple?

Piper:
Well, I thought Leo and I were a couple and then we...coupled and he took off.

Prue:
Oops, Busted!

Eric Lumen:
Do you really think so?

(Prue swishes her hand then the grass cutter flew to Lumen's car, thus deflating the tires.)

Eric Lumen:
I-I..you did that! I-I..I saw that...

Prue:
Really? Prove it.

(Prue making the potion to vanquish the Grimlocks.)

Prue:
I feel like I should be cackling.

Prue:
Look Andy, will you please just get her out here?

Andy:
Prue, I'm not leaving the two of you alone.

Prue:
Do I have to use my power on you?

Andy:
I'll meet you up on the street.

Prue:
I hate cemeteries at night.

Phoebe:
I hate cemeteries at day.

(They hear a noise.)

Phoebe:
What was that?

Prue:
Probably a zombie or a vampire.

Phoebe:
Great, where's Buffy when you need her?

Phoebe:
Okay, you know, you guys take for granted that I'm your innocent yellow pages. Okay, this takes work.

Phoebe:
Okay, it's not that easy to break me.

Prue:
What was it in high school that the guys started calling you after they caught you making out with someone under the bleachers?

Phoebe:
It's not gonna work.

Prue:
What was that? Oh yeah, Freebie! (the magazines on a rack spin around and fall off) Well, class over.

Phoebe:
You know that was just a rumor, right?

Phoebe:
Okay Leo, I brought you some... You do eat right?

Leo:
Yes Phoebe, I eat.

Leo:
Being with her broke the rules. Not being with her breaks my heart.

Piper:
Prue, have you seen my purse?

Prue:
In the kitchen. Have you seen my keys?

Piper:
They're by the T.V. I can't find my plane ticket. Did I give it to you?

Prue:
Maybe you packed it.

Piper:
I didn't just pack it, I just saw it.

(Phoebe holds Piper's plane ticket and tries to have a premonition. It works.)

Phoebe:
I can't believe it.

Prue:
(snatches Piper's plane ticket off Phoebe.) Found it.

Phoebe:
I've been practicing how to call a premonition, and I did it. I saw a future event on command. Oh, and that's the good news. The bad news is... I saw you missing your flight.

Piper:
Oh, great.

Piper:
What am I supposed to say? That I'm a cash strapped, single, restaurant manager, who still lives in the same house I grew up in with my sisters?

Phoebe:
And the cat, don't forget our cat.

Rodriguez:
Prue Halliwell...is a witch.

Andy:
A witch, huh? You wait here, I'll go warn the Wizard of Oz.

Rodriguez:
Bottom line, I know my partner was killed by a supernatural being and I think Prue Halliwell can help me figure out who did it.

Andy:
Really? Well, I'll just get the Commissioner to signal Batman and then I'll get right on it.

Prue:
Winds of time gather round, Give me wings to speed my way, Rush me on my journey forward, Let tomorrow be today.

Winds of time gather round,

Give me wings to speed my way,

Rush me on my journey forward,

Let tomorrow be today.

Prue:
You'll be where in an hour?

Phoebe:
Ah, Quake. Piper's doing that thing for the food network and she needs me to bring her another dress because she spilt marinara sauce over the one she's wearing.

Prue:
Just stay out of my closet.

Phoebe:
Oh, don't worry, I don't think she'd want to ruin another one of yours.

Prue:
I don't believe this.

Phoebe:
I'm kidding. Don't have an aneurysm.

Prue:
No, I'm talking about the paper.

Andy:
Has Phoebe ever been wrong about her premonitions before?

Prue:
No. But the good news is every other time we've been able to affect the outcome. Stop the demon or warlock before...

Andy:
Before I get killed. Can I get that in writing?

Phoebe:
Yeah, let's, because I wanna know why I'm the one answering the door.

Prue:
'Cause you're the one who knows martial arts, alright, that way if Rodriguez shows up and tries something right off the bat, you can knock him down.

Piper:
And then I can come in from the living room and freeze him.

Prue:
And then I can come down the stairs and send him flying.

Phoebe:
I still feel like cannon fodder.

Prue:
What time is it?

Piper:
Just before six. That's a little too anxious, that's not a good sign.

Phoebe:
Which means if he doesn't want to kill Prue, he wants to date her.

Phoebe get a vision from Prue before we get that demon.