Charmed, Season 8

The Brunette (Phoebe):
I can't believe how many leprechauns are at my urn.

Brown-Haired Woman (Piper):
They always had the hots for you.

The Brunette (Phoebe):
It's a little creepy, but I guess you can't be too picky when you're dead!

The Brunette (Phoebe):
Piper, what are you doing?

Brown-Haired Woman (Piper):
What are you doing? You can't pick up on a guy at a funeral!

The Brunette (Phoebe):
Why not? It's my funeral!

(The two dark-haired women drag Janice into the kitchen.)

Janice (Paige):
What is the meaning of this? Do you have any idea who I am?

The Brunette (Phoebe):
Yeah, as a matter of fact we do... (She reveals herself to be Phoebe in a glamour.) Paige.

Janice (Paige):
I'm sorry, who?

Brown-Haired Woman (Piper):
(She reveals herself to be Piper in a glamour.) Nice try. The jig's up, sis.

Janice (Paige):
Oh, all right then, fine. (She reveals herself to be Paige in a glamour.) Well, someone had to cry at my funeral! Didn't they?

Billie:
(about a fireball the demon Elkin is holding.) Doesn't that burn your hand?

Piper:
Last year you had a premonition that you would have a daughter which means that this year you have to have a little sex and get pregnant. And since Dex, which coincidentally rhymes with sex, could be the father!

Phoebe:
GOD!

Paige:
Witches don't wear costumes.

Billie:
So the conical hat and black cape are everyday wear?

Piper:
They think I'm somebody else.

Phoebe:
Well, you are somebody else.

Piper:
I know, but I'm not a fugitive. That's not the alias that I picked, at least not intentionally.

Billie:
Can't we vanquish him?

Piper:
We don't usually vanquish humans.

Piper:
I think the only way to save Maya is to get him to confess to the murder somehow.

Paige:
Oh, that happens before or after hell freezes over?

Maya:
Sorry I kicked you in the face.

Billie:
Well, I'm sorry we almost got you killed.

Piper:
Hurry, get the mattress.

Paige:
What if it doesn't work?

Piper:
Well, then it was a bad idea.

Paige:
Mattress!

Paige:
Don't worry, we'll have you out of that unflattering color in no time!

Leo:
Knowing how untrained and untethered magic could lean to disaster, the one in Atlantis, being a prime example, The Elders knew they needed to nurture young magic. The Elders knew they needed to nurture young magic... Billie? Billie are you listening to me?

Billie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, untethered magic, Elders, yeah, yeah, yeah... that.

Leo:
Okay. Listen, if you're gonna take over the fight for the greater good I really don't think it's a bad idea if you... know the history of good magic. Listen, Paige wanted me to teach you something good and I think you kinda make me look bad.

Billie:
Oh, come on, you could be teach me tic-tac toe, she woundn't care. She's just happy you get me of her back for the day.

Leo:
Okay, so... The magical community knew it needed a place to nurture young magic so the Elders created Magic School.

Leo (talking about Piper making Wyatt a costume for a school play, Piper wants to use magic) You wanted a normal life, remember?

Piper:
Yes, but that was before I realized our son was going to be humiliated in front of his entire class!

Billie:
Oh, that happened to me all the time. Only made me stronger.

Piper:
And shut it!

(The Charmed Ones orb into a classroom in Magic School, as demons walk through the corridor.)

Phoebe:
Billie was right. It's demon central.

(The sisters peek out of the door, and see Leo talking to The Source.)

Leo:
Just trying to help you with the kid, that's all.

The Source:
Now why don't I believe that?

Piper:
We gotta hurry. Leo's in trouble.

Paige:
Yeah, well, how are we going to stop The Source? We have no potions.

Phoebe:
It's gonna take a lot more than potions.

Paige:
How did you do it last time?

Piper:
Not the same way we gonna do it this time.

Phoebe:
You have a plan?

Piper:
Yeah, and it starts with Mandy.

(In the Great Hall, Mandy watches The Source staring at Leo.)

Mandy:
If you don't trust him, just kill him. Then we can go on a family outing. Slaughter a few innocents, have a picnic!

(The Source edges towards Leo, and sniffs.)

The Source:
There's not a drop of evil in him. HE'S NOT A DEMON AT ALL!

(He then looks down to see Wyatt standing beside Leo. Leo pulls Wyatt behind him, and The Source looks up at him, gasping in surprise.)

The Source:
This is too good to be true ... Daddy!

Mandy:
What?!? Wait...

(Suddenly, Mandy faints to the ground, and the possessor demon separates from her.)

Demon:
What happened? Who did this?

Piper:
We did.

(The Charmed Ones enter the Great Hall. As they do, The Source turns to them, and Leo grabs Wyatt, both of them heading to a chair and hiding behind it.)

The Source:
I should have known the Charmed Ones weren't really dead! Only you've gone soft in my absence. WITHOUT THE HOLLOW, YOU CAN'T HURT ME!

Piper:
Oh really? Hey, cupcake!

(Piper blasts the possessor demon into a wall. Just as the demon manages to get to her feet, Piper blows her up The Source yells in agony as he is pulled into a fiery portal, which then explodes and vanishes.)

Phoebe:
Talk about your ball and chain!

Paige:
I don't really understand. How did you ...

Piper:
Well, she conjured him, so they're connected. She goes, he goes.

Phoebe:
For eternity now.

Paige:
Okay, well, we probably should get out of here, before any other demons recognise us...

Phoebe:
What are we going to do with her? (nodding to Mandy, who is lying unconcsious on the floor)

Piper:
Oh, come on, we don't need to save her! (Phoebe looks at her) What? She's still too perky!

Billie:
I was just trying to help

Phoebe:
How is this helping?

Billie:
I didn't mean for you to get married!

Phoebe:
Well you know what? I did, and I cannot believe you used magic when we specifically told you not to.

Billie:
I thought you just meant demon magic not innocent magic!

Phoebe:
Oh, really and (pointing at dress) this is innocent?!

Billie:
Well, you look fabulous!

Phoebe:
Oh you know what, don't try and butter me up with the compliments missy!

Piper:
(running in) Are you out of your mind? What did you do now?

Billie:
Do I have start from the beginning again?

Piper:
I can't believe you did this with Agent Murphy watching our very move?

Phoebe:
Skip down, I already went through that with her

Billie:
I still don't know what I did was so bad

Phoebe:
(flashes engagement ring) THIS! This is what's bad!

Piper:
Wow! That's Huge!

Paige:
Is this what we've been reduced to? Loveless sex? Pimping?

Piper:
Yes.

(The Charmed Ones walk through Home Security, people staring at them on their way. The secretary stands up, shocked, as they approach her.):

Piper:
Hi, how's it going? Uh, by any chance, is Agent Murphy in?

Secretary:
Who-who shall I say is calling?

Paige:
Oh, I don't know girls. Maybe we should just ... surprise him!

Phoebe:
I'm pregnant.

Paige:
(as she collapses onto a sofa) Dex?

Phoebe:
No actually, it was some guy that I met at the pumping station ... Yes, of course it's Dex!

Piper:
Great! Witch vanquishes demon, film at eleven.

Billie:
But the press doesn't even know who I am! That's why I'm the perfect girl for the job. Plus, I wanna do it.

Paige:
Why do you wanna do it?

Billie:
So I can show you guys that I can. Come on! Please? I know I can do this.

Piper:
Fine, but if you get caught on tape I will vanquish you.

Paige:
Speaking of those problems, I think I have figured out a way to get the press off of our broomsticks... (Three rats crawl next to a wall behind Piper) Holly- We have rats!

Piper:
Yeah, they're everywhere, get used to it. So what's this big solution?

Paige:
Where did they come from?

Piper:
The San Francisco Chronicle, uhm... Daily News and the Inquirer. I found them nosing around the garbage.

Paige:
So you turn them into rodents?

Piper:
Well, I could've blown them up.

(In Home Security's warehouse. Phoebe is clearing out some boxes, and Billie walks to her, holding a big belt)

Billie:
Hey, check this out.

Phoebe:
(turns to Billie, then back to the boxes and then quickly back to Billie again) No, no!

(Billie puts on the belt, which immediately begins to glow. Billie is then magically dressed in a blue top, short skirt, brown leather boots and her hair is plaited, making her look like a goddess. Phoebe is astonished.)

Billie:
Uh, what just happened?

Phoebe:
We're screwed, that's what happened.

(Billie and Phoebe are walking down the street. Billie is attracting looks and some wolf-whistles due to her goddess-style clothing.)

Phoebe:
Typical. Piper has the car, Paige orbs... Does anyone think that Phoebe needs help? No, of course not. Why? Because it's all about them!

Piper:
(talking about Agent Murphy) He can't make us do this on a weekly basis, it's boring.

Phoebe:
Well... if he does, we'll just turn him into a frog or something...

Phoebe:
I'm very busy too. I have dates, lots and lots of dates.

Piper:
Are you trying to get pregnant again?

Phoebe:
No, I'm tryling to find love.

Phoebe:
He's got case files for us.

Paige:
What are we, Charlie's Witches? We don't work for him.

Phoebe:
Apparently he seems to think that. Especially reminding me over and over, he bailed us out of our little jam.

Piper:
That's blackmail.

Phoebe:
No, that's your taxpayers dollars at work.

Piper:
See, this is what a Krychek demon is supposed to look like.

Phoebe:
Well, maybe the one you guys were following was just a bigger one.

Piper:
No, this wasn't just bigger. This was like going from you to Schwarzenegger.

Phoebe:
That is so weird.

Piper:
Yes, scary weird.

(Leo comes out carrying skiing equipment.)

Piper:
Oh, good, you found the skis!

Leo:
Yeah! But, they're kinda old, though. Maybe we should just rent new ones, you know? (He drops the skiing boots) Ah! Damnit!

Piper:
Watch your language. Wyatt is picking up everything we say lately.

Phoebe:
I'm gonna get some more coffee. You guys want anything?

Piper:
No, thanks.

(Phoebe goes to the kitchen.)

Piper:
You okay with those?

Leo:
Yes, I got there. Listen, why don't we finish packing? I wanna miss traffic, okay?

Piper:
I know, I'm gonna. I just, I need to talk to agent Murphy first about this demon of his.

Leo:
Piper...

Piper:
What? I- I can't just let it go. Can I?

Leo:
Yes, you can. C'mon, when are we the last time had weekend together, alone?

Piper:
I know, and I promise, nothing is gonna stop that from happening, I promise, but I… just kind need to talk him first.

Leo:
Well, why… can't Billie talk to him?

(Paige walks in.)

Paige:
You guys, I can not find Billie anywhere. She's not answering. Maybe we could just get her pager?

Piper:
Well, just keep trying.

Phoebe (back from the kitchen):
Oh, Paige! Henry called for you last night.

Paige:
Why? What'd he want?

Phoebe:
Uh, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure he wants, you.

Paige:
That's ridiculous.

Piper:
Why? Don't you like him?

Paige:
No!

Phoebe:
Really? Then why is your face turning red?

Paige:
It's not turning red, I probably just put too much blush on.

Leo:
It's… kinda turning red.

(Piper chuckles.)

Piper:
Ok, why don't you and me (points to Phoebe) go see what the government's not telling us? And I'll be right back, I swear. (She kisses Leo, then heads for the door with Phoebe.)

Paige:
Hey, don't you have a lunch date?

Phoebe:
I canceled. I'm taking a little hiatus.

Paige:
From lunch?

Phoebe:
From men.

(Piper and Phoebe leave.)

Paige:
Okay. Come on, Billie. (Calls Billie again.)

Paige:
Billie, finally.

Henry:
Hi, how are you doing?

Paige:
Henry, what are you doing here?

Henry:
I need your help.

Billie:
Look, Paige already gave the "what were you thinking" speech so...

Piper:
So? What were you thinking?

Paige:
Did I miss something?

Phoebe:
Nothing.

Piper:
A lot. See ya!

Phoebe:
Just so you know, I know what you're trying to do and it's not gonna work.

Piper:
Okay, just so you know, I know what you're trying to do and I will be relentless.

(Hulk-Billie attacks Phoebe and Piper. Piper gestures to freeze her, not knowing that it's Billie.)

Phoebe:
No Piper, it's Billie! No, no, you might blow her up. ((Billie hurls a table and jumps over the sofa) Okay, blow her up!

(Piper, Phoebe and Paige transform into Hulk-like creatures.)

Leo:
Holy crap!

Hulk Piper:
Language! (She sends him flying over the attic)

Paige:
If you guys will excuse me, I'm gonna go check on little Ramon.

Piper:
Don't you mean Henry?

Paige:
No, I mean Ramon.

Phoebe:
Kiss him for me.

Paige:
Henry?

Phoebe:
No, Ramon!

Paige:
Oh, okay.

Piper:
I have to lose you to save you.

Billie:
What is going on?

Phoebe:
Piper, what do you put in the food?

Piper:
Food was in the food, thank you.

Phoebe:
Bu-but, how do you explain this?!

Piper:
But don't look at me. She's the one who said assassins!

Billie:
It was a figure of speech!

Piper:
Well, apparently not!

Phoebe:
Anyone down here? Big box on high heels. I need some help.

Piper:
Just a sec. Ah, sorry, do you need help?

Phoebe:
Well, I did. Now I just need a sec.

Piper:
Okay, well since I have you...

Phoebe:
Um...Piper, I'm kinda running late. I have to go sign the loan docs and I wanna stop by the condo before work...

Piper:
Loan docs? Wow, I didn't realize this was moving along so quickly. But, you know I've been so focused on getting Leo back.

Phoebe:
Yeah, I know.

Piper:
But, I have made a list of seers and oracles and anyone that might be able to foresee who we have to fight in order to get him back.

Phoebe:
Great, ok. Call me if you find anything.

Piper:
Well, I was thinking...I was thinking that maybe you should take my Jeep, because in my car hold so much more than yours does, doesn't it?

Phoebe:
Right. Piper, are you sure you're okay with me moving out?

Piper:
Yeah, of course I am. I mean we can't be roommates forever, that's just weird.

Phoebe:
Ok, well. Here I go.

Paige:
Oh, what I am gonna do? I'm supposed to have a date with Henry tonight and he is in the worst mood. He's lost his car keys, he's lost his wallet, he locked himself out of his apartment, and I need him to be in a good mood for that I wanna do tonight.

Piper:
We aren't talking about sex, are we?

Paige:
No, we aren't talking about sex. I finally screwed up my courage to tell him...you know that I'm witch and I feel like I have to do it tonight otherwise I might wuss out, and I really need to know that he is okay with who I am. You do this a lot, Pheebs, got any advice?

Phoebe:
Well, hope he doesn't faint. No, I don't know, I mean, I haven't any success with these things. Just ease into it, try to lessen the blow.

Paige:
Okay, how?

Phoebe:
Maybe call some reinforcements, maybe ask some of your magical friends to help him to have a better day so you can have a better night?

Paige:
Like fairies, or something?

Phoebe:
Sure, fairies, leprechauns, whatever. Good luck.

Piper:
Uh, Pheebs?

Phoebe:
Uh-huh?

Piper:
Oh, I was actually hoping that you can help me to let down the list a little bit before you go.

Phoebe:
Oh, Piper, I'm really late.

Piper:
Oh, okay. Well you know, it's just Leo. Really come on, all I need is one little premonition. How hard can it be?

Phoebe:
Ok. (She put the box down.)

Paige:
Hey, Henry.

Henry:
Yeah?

Paige:
Guess what?

Henry:
What?

Paige:
I like you.

Henry:
Hey, Paige. Guess what?

Paige:
What?

Henry:
I like you, too. (they kiss)

Henry:
I'm telling you, this day is getting more better than he started.

Paige:
Yeah, so far.

Henry:
Why you keep say things like that? What do you have to tell me? Come on, it can't be that bad. Rooftop picnic, starlight, candle. Wait, wait I wanna guess first. Hold on. Let me see. You used to be a man before. No, that's not true, right? Good. Come on. Tell me. What is it?

Paige:
I don't think you're gonna like it.

Henry:
Try me.

Paige:
Have you ever wondered about the kind of...strange things that happen...with me and kind of since you've known me? Like, why was I there, trying to help your parolee? How I found that baby's father so quickly?

Henry:
How'd you get that guy to tell the truth?

Paige:
How'd you get shot and miraculously survive? And, even little things like today. Finding your keys, and your wallet, and then there's that winning the 10,000 dollars thing which you probably give to charity, because, you know that's...

Henry:
Okay, okay...What are you trying to tell me Paige?

Paige:
Do you believe in magic?

Henry:
I...I don't know...I don't think about it much. Why?

Paige:
I think it's time you did. (she waves her hand) Lights. I'm doing that right now.

Henry:
How?

Paige:
I'm a witch. I have powers. Uh, I can make these kind of things happen. I am not a kind of witch that rides around on broomsticks, or the hat, or the little black cat. That sort of thing. I use my powers for good. I help people. And this is not going well, and I can see...how completely scared off you are from me. The door is right there and that won't hurt my feelings.

Henry:
Paige?

Paige:
What?

Henry:
Look at me. I am not afraid.

Piper:
Hang on. There is just one more.

Phoebe:
Really? I thought I took all the boxes.

Piper:
Well, this one is kind of all together for you just in case you need more plants or potion vials or crystals or you know clippings of The Book of Shadows just in case.

Phoebe:
Just in case that demon attacks.

Piper:
Yes. Don't laugh. It's gonna happen and you know that. And when it does, you are gonna be, alone.

Phoebe:
Piper, I am just moving into town. You know, it's not that far away.

Piper:
Yes, but it's not at the end of hall.

Phoebe:
That's true. You know, if you don't want me to go...

Piper:
No. You gotta go. You know, there is some blond chick go to sleep in your room. I am just a little sad. But I can be little sad.

Phoebe:
Absolutely. I am sad, too.

Piper:
It's just, you know, there have been a lot of changes.

Phoebe:
You know this always will be my home, right? And that will never change. This is family.

Piper:
Yes. Ok. You gotta go.

Phoebe:
See ya.

(Phoebe goes and closes the door, leaves Piper alone.)

Piper:
So I take it that you guys heard about chicken.

Dog:
Rooster. And yes, we sensed it.

(Demons are fighting in the Halliwell Manor)

Dog:
Go! Protect the staff!

Piper:
What about my house?!

Dog:
Only the staff matters. Go!

Simon (to Phoebe) My goodness you're fetching!

Phoebe:
That is so sweet.

Simon:
But you are not half-whitelighter, which is requisite for my future mate, so sorry to disappoint you. But you on the other hand are...

Paige:
Did you just say future mate?

Simon:
No! No, that was..It came out wrong apologies.

Paige:
Ok, here's the deal, we're actually super super busy right now, so it'll be fabulous if you could just orb yourself off now.

Simon:
Immortal? Very impressive.

Paige:
(in british voice) No....Not immortal...(Normal voice) A mortal! As in non-magical!

(Piper and Paige are walking down the staircase in the Manor.)

Piper:
Did she say what she wanted?

Paige:
She just said she wanted to speak to us.

Piper:
This could very well be a trap. Did she call Phoebe?

Phoebe:
Yeah, she did.

(Piper and Paige turn to see Phoebe, and begin to walk towards her.)

Piper:
Well, at the risk of your wrath, I'm going to tell you that this could be a very bad idea.

Phoebe:
I know, but please, let's just listen to what Billie has to say.

Piper:
I just spoke with an Elder, and she confirmed that those two could be very big trouble for us.

Paige:
What?

Piper:
She wasn't 100% sure, but it is a possibility, which means sooner or later ...

(Grey smoke begins to rise from the floor. The three sisters turn to see the smoke fade to reveal Billie.)

Piper:
You know, considering you want to kill us, maybe you should use the front door.

Billie:
I don't want to kill you Piper, I just want to find out the truth.

Phoebe:
Well, how do we help you find that?

Billie:
Like this.

(Billie throws a potion vial, which smashes at the sisters' feet. White smoke rises and flows into their bodies, and the sisters fall to the floor. Grey smoke rises up from the floor again beside Billie, which fades to reveal Christie, who stands beside her sister.)

Billie:
You promise not to hurt them, right?

Christy:
Not until you see what you need to see.

(Piper is standing at the Book of Shadows with a notepad. As she searches through the book, Grams' ring suddenly appears on her finger.)

Piper:
(gasps as she notices the ring) Oh crap.

(She then transforms into an old-fashioned housewife, wearing a blue polka-dot dress with apron, deep red lipstick and ponytailed hair. She then notices that a chair seat has been ripped.)

Piper:
This place is a mess.

(She then moves out of the attic at superspeed.)

Paige:
Watch it, guys! Wait for me. This thing's heavy.

Piper:
We gotta keep moving.

Phoebe:
I think we're going in circles because this looks very familiar.

Paige:
Yeah, it looks the same to me too.

Piper:
Well, of course it does. It's the Underworld. It all looks the same. How many looks can they come up with?

Paige:
No wonder they wanna take over our world. This is ugly.

Phoebe:
They've already taken our world. That's why we're stuck down here. We gotta do something. Come on!

Piper:
I'm open to suggestions.

Phoebe:
Maybe we should talk to the leprechauns again?

Paige:
No, I've had it with the leprechauns.

Piper:
I think they made their allegiance pretty clear.

Phoebe:
They wouldn't even give us a chance to explain.

Piper:
I don't think it would have mattered. Billie and Christy have everybody thinking that we're the threat.

Phoebe:
We gotta get out of here.

Christy:
Where'd everyone go?

Billie:
Oh, I sent them home. I thought they'd be safer away from us.

Christy:
But we might need their help. The sisters...

Billie:
Are gonna come after us, I know. But it's not the magical community's fight. It's ours. It's our destiny.

Christy:
Here we go again.

Billie:
No, don't worry. I know it's the right thing, and it's all for the greater good, but it doesn't mean I have to like it.

Christy:
Look, Billie, I know this is hard for you. Okay? But it'll all be over soon. I promise.

Billie:
Don't be so sure. I mean, we came after them with our best shot and they still got away.

Christy:
Yeah, but barely.

Billie:
It just makes me think maybe we don't have enough to go up against them. They aren't the most powerful witches of all time for nothing.

Christy:
But we're not slouches either. Besides, we don't know what would have happened. They got away before our best shot hit them. You know, Dumain thinks we should use vanquishing potions next time.

Billie:
Vanquishing potions?

Christy:
You wrote down their most powerful ones. If we catch them off guard they won't stand a chance against us.

(Coop apears)

Coop:
Billie? What are you guys doing here?

Billie:
Oh, it's a long story.

Coop:
Oh, what happened?

Christy:
That's what we're still trying to figure out. So, what brings you here?

Coop:
I'm looking for Phoebe. I can't find her anywhere.

Christy:
When's the last time you saw her?

Coop:
Last night at her loft. Someone put her under a spell and... You know what? Never mind. If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her.

Christy:
Absolutely. And you do the same. We're looking for her too.

(Coop disappears)

Billie:
Wait, he said she was under a spell.

Christy:
So?

Billie:
So Phoebe said the same thing. That makes me wonder...

Christy:
She'll say anything to save herself. So will he. Come on. We have a potion to make.

Phoebe:
Okay, do it.

Piper:
Okay, we can't keep playing Survivor: Underworld much longer.

Phoebe:
What are we gonna do?

Paige:
How about we just orb home?

Phoebe:
No, it's too risky. Billie and Christy will be waiting for us. And their new friends.

Paige:
Okay, well, we gotta do something fast because word is gonna get around that we're down here.

Piper:
She's right. We can't fend off demons forever. We need a plan.

Paige:
Maybe just give up?

Piper:
What?

Paige:
What? It's just that every time we go out and try to get a life, meet people, do new things, we seem to wind up back in these kind of lame positions. Giving up is not such a bad idea, is it?

Phoebe:
No, I'm not giving up. Not now and not after I finally found someone I could see having a future with. Look, if we want our lives and Leo back... we're gonna have to fight.

Paige:
Fight Billie and Christy.

Phoebe:
Exactly.

Piper:
Are you sure you can do it? I mean, really do it? Can you kill them?

Phoebe:
Yeah, they're no different than demons now. Not after all of this.

Piper:
Look out!

Paige:
Energy ball!

Piper:
Go, go, go!

Coop:
Nobody will ever love your daughter more than me, ever. I promise you that.

Victor:
What do you know about love?

Coop:
I'm a Cupid!

Victor:
Well that doesn't mean squat unless you've had your heart broken. Have you had your heart broken?

Coop:
No.

Victor:
Then you don't know about love, believe me.

Billie:
We've been waiting for you.

Paige:
Well, your wait is over.

(The five girls glare at each other)

Piper:
No potions, huh?

Christy:
We don't need any potions.

Phoebe:
Funny. Neither do we.

Piper:
I know we should never trusted you.

Christy:
You should have followed your instincts.

Piper:
Next time.

Billie:
There won't BE a next time.

(They stare at each other for a beat and then shoot their powers at each other, causing the manor to explode.)

(The Angel of Destiny returns with Leo.)

Angel of Destiny:
(looks around) The Battle is over........But not as I expected. (vanishes)

Patty:
It's okay mom, you just fainted.

Grams:
Well of course I fainted, your dead!

Phoebe:
Are you getting any of this?

Paige:
Whatever...as long as we're alive again that's all I care about. Plus, it's really nice to see you guys again!

Patty:
Actually, we've never met.

Paige:
Yes, we have, but you were ghost. (the look on Patty's face suddenly changed) Oh, does she know?

Grams:
Yes, we know, we're both dead by now. We're over it.

Patty:
Speak for yourself.

Phoebe:
Wait, you guys went to the future, too?

Paige:
We sure did miss a lot when we were dead.

(Coop flashes in.)

Coop:
(to Piper) Hey... (he turns and sees Phoebe.) Phoebe?

Phoebe:
Hi.

Coop:
Thanks a lot for telling me she's alive.

(Piper tosses Coop's ring to him.)

Piper:
You're welcome.

Adult Wyatt:
(surprised) Uncle Coop!

(Adult Chris immediately hits Wyatt in the arm to shut him up)

Phoebe:
Uncle Coop?! What!? (she stutters stunned as Chris shakes his head at Wyatt who covers his mouth.)

Patty:
Now, this is our grandson Wyatt… ooh, so handsome!

Victor:
But I-I'm… I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm so confused.

Patty:
Ah, you'll get over it. I did.

Victor:
Where did you come from.

Patty:
1975. How do I look?

Victor:
… Didn't anyone tell her, we're divorced?

(Patty stops smiling.)

Patty:
What?

Victor:
You dumped me, for your Whitelighter.

Patty:
Sam?

Victor:
Yeah, Sam! Paige's father!

(Piper and Grams are mixing up a potion. The smoke from the latest ingredient added seems to be somewhat light.)

Grams:
That's not nearly enough.

Piper:
I think I know how to do it after all this time.

Paige:
It's Billie and Christy. They're not demons.

Grams:
Well, they might as well be after all you've told me, which means we can't take any chances. (pauses) I can't get over how big this book has gotten. I'm so proud of you girls.

Piper:
Then why won't you let me stir?

(Someone knocks on the door.)

Grams:
Uh, Piper, why don't you get that?

Piper:
Paige, why don't you get that?

Paige:
Okay, I'll get that. (rolls eyes)

(She goes to open the door and finds Henry.)

Paige:
Hey! What are you doing here?

Henry:
What am I doing here? I'm looking for my wife. She didn't come home last night. Are you okay?

Paige:
Yes, I'm okay! Of course I'm okay! I mean, we weren't "okay" okay, but now we're okay and in the future I think we're gonna be... I think we're gonna be more than okay.

Henry:
(stares blankly) Okay.

Grams:
Don't tell me she marries a Whitelighter too.

Piper:
Worse. A mortal.

Grams:
Oh, good God. Didn't I teach you girls anything?

Piper:
Hey, what can I say? There's always Uncle Coop!

Dumain:
No!

Piper:
Oh, yes! (blows up present and past Dumain.)

Christy:
I don't understand! How could this happen?

Piper:
Billie projected us here.

Paige:
By focusing on you.

Piper:
Paige?

Paige:
(holds hand out) Ring! (Coop's ring orbs off Christy's finger and into Paige's hand)

Christy:
(glaring at Billie) How could you?!?

Billie:
Christy, please... It's over. Just come home.

(Christy launches a fireball at Billie and the Charmed Ones, but Billie deflects it back, destroying Christy. Billie starts crying)

Piper:
Well, we changed the past, fixed the future and saved the present. That's all.

Victor:
What was that?

(Phoebe and Paige are sitting down at the table when Piper joins them with the Book of Shadows.)

Paige:
Don't tell me we have to go fight a demon.

Piper:
No, (sighs) I don't think we'll have to do that anytime soon.

Phoebe:
Then what's with the book?

Piper:
Well, I think we should write everything down. Everything that happened, everything we want future generations to know, so we can pass it down. Just like it was passed down to us.

Paige:
(looks at Piper, then turns to Phoebe) After you.

(Piper gives the book to Phoebe, who turns it to the first empty page, somewhere in the middle of the book, and starts writing. This is the final dialogue heard between the Charmed Ones before the writing begins, along with the following flash-forward voice-over into the future that finally ends the show.)

Phoebe (voice-over):
So much has happened over the last 8 years. So much has been gained and lost. Still, in some ways I feel like my life is really just beginning... and it was. For though I had loved before, I'd never really known love until I met Coop. A man who I shared the special little girl I had long ago foreseen, but feared I might never have. Along with two other special little girls I had not foreseen. I was suddenly so blessed to have a new family of my own, and old friends to share it with. And though I kept working and giving advice to those who asked, I was more interested in helping them find love. Since finally, having been loved.

Paige (voice-over):
Phoebe had become somewhat of an expert on the subject. As for me, life without demons opened up similar avenues. Henry, of course, continued to look after his parolees, even if they didn't want to be looked after. While still making time to help me with little Henry and the twins, which allowed me time to finally embrace my inner Whitelighter. And to help the next generation of witches come into their own.

Piper (voice-over):
So that Paige could pass on all that she learned. Not just to her own children, or to mine, or to Phoebe's, but to other future witches and whitelighters as well. Which filled the time between when we were doing the fighting and when our kids were old enough to take over. Allowing me time to get back to my roots and cook something other than potions for once. And open the restaurant I'd always dreamed of owning. As for Leo, after we reclaimed magic school he went back to teaching. Which he continued to do, until it was time to retire. And although we certainly had our struggles…

Old Piper:
(50 years later, finishes reading the Book of Shadows to her granddaughter) …and heartaches over the years, we're a family of survivors and we will always be. Which is why we've truly been Charmed.

Granddaughter:
Again Grandmama, again.

Old Piper:
Oh, dear. No, I can't. I need to rest. But you can look at it for a little while if you'd like, hmmm? (She kisses her head and stands up. Old Leo waits nearby.) After all, it'll be yours one day.