Crayon Shin-chan

Hiro (To himself as he arrives home):
Chin up, Hiro. It's obligatory sex night.

Hiro:
Alright, kids. Time for your bath.

Shin:
Dad, at 8 O'clock tonight there's a new show on; Who Want's to Blow up an Aardvark.

Hiro:
And they'll show it all?

Shin:
Live, on air and in 3D.

Hiro:
Do we have the glasses?

Shin:
Got 'em this morning.

(Both burst into maniacal laughter)

Hiro:
Bathe fast.

Mitzi:
Georgie forgot his backapck. But that's so unlike him, isn't it?

Shin:
Uh-huh. He was acting kinda strange. And not just Georgie strange like talk about politics stuff no five year old should know.

Mitzi:
Should I call his Mom and tell her to search his room for drugs or L. Ron Hubbard novels?

[Shin has placed his father's watch in the toaster.]

Shin:
You guys have been having so much trouble finding stuff since we moved, I thought if I got your watch hot enough before you put it on, you'd never have to worry about losing it again 'cuz it'd melt into your skin and become part of you.

Hiro (juggling the hot watch between his hands):
Well, other than the terrible pain and disfigurement, that's very thoughtful of you, Shin.

Shin:
I'm a pretty great person.

Penny:
What do you think you're doing here you crazy cunt?! He was my husband first and I planned the whole day of playing house so fuck off!

Shin:
We can't say that.

[The kids are talking about Miss Anderson's pregnancy.]

Masao:
I'll bet she was glowing.

Shin:
She's pregnant, not radioactive.

Mitzi:
You want a allowance? You wasted it on kiddy crap like training cards, video games, & crystal meth.

Mitzi (To Hima as she chases her to reclaim her Sky Mall magazine):
You know, if we were in China, you'd be in a dumpster right now.

Hiro:
Tape fixes everything, except condoms. Right Hima?

Shin:
Ass dance is both science and art.

Shin and Hiro:
To be a man you must have honor! Honor and a penis!