Darkwing Duck, Season 3

Darkwing:
[to Morgana's father] You should let your daughter choose her own company. She has impeccable taste.

Moloculo Macawber:
What she needs is a nice ghoulish boy! Only then will she find true happiness.

Darkwing:
She doesn't WANT happiness, she wants ME!

Drake:
A mysterious hero protects the city of St. Canard. He is the terror that flaps in the night. He is the eraser that rubs out the typos of crime! He is- Gosalyn's Dad?

Honker:
But I'm tired of being smart, Mr. DW! I wanna be like you!

Drake:
Well, that's nice. [realises] Hey hey hey, wait a minute!

Darkwing:
They won't get far! For I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the pebble in the shoe of ignominy! I am- [accidentally puts on Talaya] ZE QVEEN OF ZE GALAXY!

Darkwing:
I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the check that overdraws your account! I am Darkwing Duck!

Darkwing:
I always tell the truth, even if I have to lie to do it!

Honker:
Confetti?

Gosalyn:
You know Dad: always prepared for a parade.

Gosalyn:
I'm way too cool to have a big ego!

Megavolt:
Hey, I wonder if these gals have an unquenchable thirst for chaos and mayhem? We could do some crimes together!

Darkwing:
I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the low point on your sine wave! I am Dark...wing... Duck. Rats. Another twenty-dollar gas cartridge down the tubes; there's nobody here!

Megavolt:
Excuse me, have you seen any evil energy demons?

Launchpad:
Right in there!

Darkwing:
Oh, perfect. I get to die with my archenemy.

Megavolt:
I'm really your archenemy? Gosh, that's swell! I always thought Dr. Slug was your arch-

Megavolt:
I know the electromagnetic spectrum like the back of my hand! [glances at the back of his hand] Whoa, what is that?

Megavolt:
Well, the magnet will interpolate the hyperstatic matrix to a random configuration. Um... they'll go boom.

Splatter Phoenix:
I shall save them from artistic oblivion, destroy that lowbrow rubbish they call art, and replace it with my own daringly innovative pseudo-anti-neo-post-modern deconstructionist, uh... stuff!

Darkwing:
[about Launchpad] Some people grow up and some people just grow older.

Launchpad:
Well, art always was my best subject! ...or was it lunch?

Splatter Phoenix:
Don't make me laugh! Your bourgeois morality would never allow you to hit a woman!

Darkwing:
It's- it's true. I just can't hit her. Quiverwing... you do it.

Darkwing:
What's this, the janitor's closet?

Morgana:
It's... the Library of Forbidden Spells. [music sting]

Gosalyn:
So what's the Library of Forbidden Spells? [music sting]

Darkwing:
Um... is it going to do that every time we say [whispers] 'Library of Forbidden Spells'? [music sting]

Darkwing:
(About Gosalyn) She may not be book smart, but she's got great imagination! Just ask her teacher...who ought to be released any day now.

Darkwing:
I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the water balloon that lands right on your head! I am Darkwing Duck!

The Bugmaster:
[on TV] I've been watching TV recently, and I'm sick of this second-rate jerk, Darkwing Duck.

Drake:
[to TV] Hey, hey hey hey! I'm a first-rate jerk!

Gosalyn:
Wait a minute, there's something strange about this 'Bugmaster'.

Drake:
Yeah: she's in a bug costume, threatening a cockroach. I'd call that strange.

Darkwing:
Well, Bianc, it's like I always say: you've got to break a few pennies to save an omelet. ...Well, I say something like that. Anyway, c'mon, Launchpad!

Darkwing:
Oh, great. Another pun-obsessed super-villain.

Drake:
Oh, nice shot of me there! Good composition. You know, this looks great! The only thing that could make it better would be if I could actually catch the crook!

Darkwing:
Launchpad, this is science. Science always works!

Launchpad:
Hmm. I wonder how much it costs to have my eyes trained?

Darkwing:
It always comes down to this, Launchpad. Me, you, a villain craving my destruction, and an abandoned warehouse.

Lanchpad:
Yeah. I wish for once it could be a roller rink or something.

Darkwing:
If you are angling for a bigger allowance this is not the way to go!

Darkwing:
What did I ever do to Gosalyn to deserve this?

Launchpad:
Well, once you grounded her until her senior year of college.

Darkwing:
Yeah...

Launchpad:
And another time you made her eat beets even though you know she hates them.

Darkwing:
Yeah, but I-

Launchpad:
Oh, and then another time you-

Darkwing:
I get the idea! Thank you!

Darkwing:
[As Gosalyn draws on his yearbook] Has Daddy ever told you the story of the little girl, the marking pen and the pit of eternal flame?

Megavolt:
Oh, indignity heaped upon indignity! Why me? Why?! Why?! Why?! My high school reunion coming up and I have nothing to wear! Why was I made to suffer so? [to the lightbulb he's holding] What? What's that you say? Wear the jumpsuit, battery, gloves, and helmet? [Kisses bulb] Brilliant! Oh what, would I do without you? [Laughs] Ah, high school. I remember those golden days, days of constant degredation and torment with nary a moment's rest from the endless stream of abuse. Oh those were the days.

Elmo Sputterspark:
Please refrain from accosting me, sir.

Elmo Sputterspark:
This is only a total defeat, you know.

Elmo Sputterspark:
At last, I have harnessed the awesome power of carpet static! And those fools in the Science Club said it couldn't be done!

Elmo Sputterspark:
[to his own hand] Oh, don't point that thing at me. It might go off. At last! What I always wanted: the ability to enterain others at cocktail parties! But wait, these powers might have greater uses. I can seek revenge on those who tormented me, those who made me a freak, those who...those who gave me this ridiculous hair-style!

Megavolt:
I am... MEGAWATT!

The Band:
Hey! That's our name, man!

Megavolt:
Oh, sorry. Uh, in that case... I am... MegaVOLT!

Megavolt:
No! What are you looking at?! Your piercing stares are driving me mad! Mad I tell you! Mad! Oh, and by the way, I'm going to destroy the school and all of you with it.

[Drake is dressing as Darkwing for the first time.]

Drake:
Now all I need is a name. Something that'll conjure up the fear of a dark moonless night, the speed of an eagle’s wing... something like... 'The Really Scary Fast Thing'!

Megavolt:
Aha! All is lost! No one can save you now! You're chemistry!

Students:
Huh?

Megavolt:
No, not chemistry. Math! Is that- No, uh- History! That's it. You're history!

Darkwing:
I am the terror that flaps in the nightǃ I am the grade curve that gives you an Fǃ I am Darkwing Duckǃ

Megavolt:
All right, Darkwing! You may be tough, but I'm not! ...or... something.

Ham String:
You missed Darkwing Duck, man!

Drake:
'Darkwing Duckman'? What is this 'Darkwing Duckman'?

Launchpad:
Hey DW, try one of these horse do-overs! They're pretty good!

Darkwing:
I am the terror that flaps in the nightǃ I am the fast food that comes back to haunt youǃ I am Darkwing Duckǃ

Megavolt:
[to Darkwing] Gee, I suppose I oughta barbecue you now... but I just haven't got the heart. But don't worry, [whips around and zaps Ham String and Preena Lott] I'm still gonna take my revenge on you two!

Megavolt:
Let's see, particle acceleration plus fade conversions equals... TOAST!

Megavolt:
At last! I'll have revenge on those who tormented me! Those who made me what I am! Wha... what am I anyway? A dentist? No, lumberjack? No. ...King of the Jungle?

Megavolt:
At last! At last I'll be rid of those meddling kids and their nosy dog! Whoa, wrong cartoon.

Preena Lott:
Yeah, I guess we owe you an apology, Drake. G'wan, g'wan, Ham, apologize!

Ham String:
Aw, gee, Drake, uh, sorry for acting like a chowder head.

Darkwing:
Aww, Ham... you weren't acting.

Megavolt:
I may have lost, but at least I know Darkwing Duck's secret identity! He's... Elmo Sputterspark! No, that's not right...

Darkwing:
Stand still and I'll thrash you some more!

The Rubber Chicken:
I'd better go... if you thrash me any more you're gonna end up in a hospital!

Darkwing:
Think I can't do it, eh? No faith in my abilities, eh? Well ha! And double ha! And ha some more!

Gosalyn:
And so, Darkwing Duck, St. Canard's mighty masked vain pig-headed loud-mouthed snooty egomaniacal waffle-brained mallard, paid a little visit to Swenlin Swine.

Launchpad:
DW! He's going into Bob's World of Breakable Antiques!

Cement-Head:
Oh well, now that you've found me out, I guess I'll just have to crush you like bugs. C'est la vie.

Launchpad:
...la vie?

Darkwing:
Y'know, you did pretty good. For a mutant.

The Rubber Chicken:
And you did pretty good for a vain pig-headed loud-mouthed snooty egomaniacal waffle-brain!

Darkwing:
Hey! I'm not vain.

Unnamed Guard:
Oh, how can you be so heartless and cruel?

Negaduck:
Practice.

Drake:
I can explain the bats.

Herb:
Please don't.

Launchpad:
DW! It's the famed food critic, Mr. Mikey!

Darkwing:
Oh, he won't like it! He hates everything!

Negaduck:
And now, a little added ingredient for the goulash: my specially-trained attack squid! I never leave home without it.

Darkwing:
I knew this would happen! Your food has finally gone bad! And I don't mean bad-rotten, I mean bad-evil! C'mon, Launchpad. Let's get goulash!

Darkwing:
Oh, if only I hadn't blamed your food for kidnapping the bunnies, we wouldn't be on the brink of doom! This is all my fault! ...well, aren't you gonna argue with me? You know, "there there, it's not all your fault, DW," that sort of thing?

Morgana:
No, it pretty much is all your fault.

Darkwing:
I am the terror who flaps in the night! I am the editor who cuts your scene! I am Darkwing Duck! ...oh, and this is Morgana, but of course you've met- never mind.

Negaduck:
Oh, by the way, your girlfriend's turned herself into a slug. Hope you can love her for her mind.

Darkwing:
I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the limestone that petrifies your bones! I am Darkwing Duck!