Dawson's Creek, Season 5

Jack:
Ooh. College guys are hot.

Jen:
Give me the phone.

Jack:
Why?

Jen:
'Cause I'm calling Tobey and telling him you said that.

Jack:
I can look.

Jen:
Yeah, but you cannot touch. I like Tobey. Tobey's good people.

Jack:
Yeah, I like Tobey, too. It just so happens that we're kinda doomed to the loneliness of a long-distance relationship at the moment.

Jen:
Well, that's still better than the loneliness of the no-distance relationship. That doesn't make any sense, does it?

Jack:
No, no, it didn't. Look, you need to get some, and soon, all right, before you achieve born-again virgin status.

Jen:
Jack.

Jack:
What? Jen, I'm serious. It's been far too long. The last guy you were with was Henry. That means last year was a total wash for you.

Jen:
Tell me about it.

Jack:
You know you're a lot more fun when you're with a guy. Watching you twist yourself up into these little knots of anxiety, it's highly entertaining.

Jen:
Thanks. That's good to know.

Jack:
[to Joey] Can we count on you tonight or what?

Joey:
I dunno. I mean, are we frat party kind of people? Is there any past evidence of us functioning well at these kinds of events?

Jack:
Which is precisely why we should go. It's a new year, guys, okay? I mean it. We need to spread our wings. Challenge any preconceived notions we had of college. And most important, to reinvent ourselves.

Joey:
What got into him?

Jen:
A cute boy invited him.

Todd:
So what do you want to be when you grow up, Dawson?

Dawson:
What else? A director.

Todd:
Yeah? What are you doing about it?

Dawson:
USC Film School.

Todd:
Film school is for pussies. What are you really doing about it?

Dawson:
I, uh… I made a documentary last year about A.I. Brooks.

Todd:
Who?

Dawson:
He was this pulp director from the 50s. It's an amazing story, actually. I could show it to you.

Todd:
No thanks.

Dawson:
Okay.

Todd:
Look, you're what, like 18?

Dawson:
Yeah.

Todd:
Chances are, it's bad. And if I take a look at it and it does indeed suck, than I have to come up with some sort of B.S. so you don't feel bad. And if on the off chance it's actually good, what do I need that for? Why would I want to be jealous of some 18 year old kid that makes better flicks than I do? Do you see my predicament?

Assistant:
They're ready for you, Todd.

Todd:
Welcome to Hollywood, Dawson.

Dawson:
Todd? What I said was "screw you". You should be ashamed of yourself, man, and not because you treat people badly, cause a lot of people do that. You should be ashamed of yourself because you have an amazing privilege and you don't even take it seriously. You get to make movies. You get to do this for a living and you don't even appreciate it. This movie is probably gonna suck. I know that, you know that, and the entire crew knows that. And your next movie is probably gonna suck too. Somebody gave you the keys to the kingdom and you're blowing it. I feel sorry for you. If I ever get here, I'm gonna do things a lot differently.

[People clap, until Todd turns and looks at them]

Todd:
You've got balls, kid. Now get off my set. You're fired.

Joey:
[leaving a phone message for Dawson] Hey Dawson, it's me, umm… I wanted to call you up. I'm at this party with Jack and Jen and my crazy roommate. Guess what? I'm having a pretty great time, but as great as it is, it's not completely great and that's because of you. You're not here and I know that I said that it's okay that you didn't come this weekend but you know what? It's not okay because I miss you. And there was this guy tonight and he was hitting on me or at least I think he was hitting on me. And he was perfectly nice and I blew him off and I'm not even sure why. But I'm pretty sure it was because of you. And… I've spent these past couple months acting like you were just going to show up outside my door one day, but you're not. You are out there following your dreams which is what I want for you, Dawson. [someone knocks loudly] In a minute! [into the phone] Dawson, I think it's time that I let you go. And it's really hard for me to do because I know that there's a part of me that will be in love with you for the rest of my life. But this whole running and place and day dreaming is just not healthy for either of us. So this is me cutting the cord, this is me doing what I should have done three months ago. Say goodbye, Dawson. Call me back. Bye.

Jen:
He's not going to call.

Jack:
He's calling.

Jen:
He doesn't even have my phone number.

Jack:
He will get your number.

Jen:
How?

Jack:
Somehow. Why do you think we have had all these advances in information technology? They are all about helping people track down other people other people they are sexually attracted to. Jen, just trust me. Alright? The guy will find you, and when he does, just throw yourself at him immediately because you obviously want to.

Jen:
Whether I want to or not, nice girls just don't hurl themselves at boys, Jack. Society at large deems that slutty and self destructive.

Jack:
That's right. I forgot. You're a slut. Only, you haven't actually had sex with anybody the entire time I have known you. And if you look at the cold hard facts, I have kissed more guys than you have this past year.

Jen:
Well…That's not true.

Jack:
I've kissed one. How many have you kissed?

Jen:
One.

Jack:
How many straight guys?

Jen:
None.

[Jack shrugs his arms as to say he has proven his point]

Jen:
This is the saddest competition ever.

Jen:
I just have a hard time believing that same person who has Licensed to Ill, also has Volume 2 of the essential Dolly Parton collection.

Charlie:
Give me that.

Jen:
And why is it so important to you that I listen to this song?

Charlie:
Because, once you hear Dolly Parton's original 1974 recording of I'll Always Love You, the song made popular and sucky on the Bodyguard soundtrack, you will truly and possibly for the first time in your entire life, know what it means not to suck. And at that point, your entire universe will turn upside down. Everything that used to seem normal to you, will suddenly seem right.

Jen:
And that is a good thing?

Charlie:
Of course it's a good thing. What is music for, if not to subvert all your expectations and blow your mind every once in a while?

Jen:
Well, I thought that was what people were for.

Charlie:
What?

Jen:
Nothing, I, I just can't believe you like country music.

Charlie:
Well, I like all kinds of music, unlike you who's obviously very cynical and very closed minded. It's probably one of those upper middle class, heavy television, freaky batgirls that drive around town in their father's old Volvo.

Jen:
I came here from a small town, I like to knit, and I live with my grandmother.

Charlie:
Works for me.

Dawson:
Well, I went to go take the tour, turns out that Audrey is the tour guide.

Joey:
Audrey is the tour guide?

Audrey:
Yeah the pay sucks, but it allows me to combine two of my passions. Performing in front of a small audience, and getting strangers to fall in love with me.

Dawson:
And what does matter?

Joey:
You. That's why I got upset this morning, Dawson. I had spent the entire weekend thinking that you had heard everything I had to say on that message and that you came anyway. That you understood me.

Dawson:
Joey, as long that I live, I will never understand you. I mean, I had this fantastic weekend. Hanging out with you. Hanging out with my friends. Questions whether or not, I even wanted to go back to LA, and then I wake up this morning to find out that the girl that was so upset that I couldn't come, could actually kiss me off in the waning hours of Friday night.

Joey:
Dawson, I never said it was going to be easy.

Dawson:
Then tell me one thing that you do know.

Joey:
I know that I wanted you there. At the end of the day, when I got back to my room, I wanted you there.

Dawson:
Why?

Joey:
I don't know why. I don't know what I meant. I just know that I wanted you there.

Dawson:
Joey, I am here. I've been here for two days, and only now are we finding a way to talk about stuff that really matters. Like why you left that message. All right? And you know, maybe that is the ending we are supposed to have. Maybe every other attraction that we feel each other is just, fear of moving on, fear of growing up.

Joey:
Is that what you really think?

Dawson:
I don't know, but I do know that if I get on this plane, I am never going to find out. All right, because, we're gonna, we're gonna move on, we're going to grow up, and four years from now we are going to wake up, and we are going to be complete strangers to each other. The only thing that I know for sure, it that I don't want that to happen. Do you?

Audrey:
[to Joey, as Jen answers her phone] So do we like this Charlie?

Joey:
We don't really know this Charlie. She seems to keep this Charlie pretty much to herself.

Audrey:
I'm a little concerned. This is all sounding very Nine 1/2 Weeks to me. [Jen hangs up] Booty call?

Jen:
Pretty much. Yeah.

Audrey:
Oh! I knew it.

Joey:
Are you gonna go?

Jen:
I don't know. I could use the snuggles.

Audrey:
See, that's what I miss most about not having a boyfriend-- the snuggling. It's better than sex. If only guys knew how easy it was to make us happy.

Joey:
Yeah, but you know what? Even if they did know, they'd still screw it up. Snuggling to them is merely just a means to an end.

Jen:
I mean, I've been seeing Charlie for a week, and the only thing that I really know about him is that his boxers are from The Gap.

Audrey:
Well, there are worse things, you know?

Jen:
Such as?

Audrey:
Well, for instance, he could be a tighty-whitey guy.

Jen and Joey:
Oh!

Jen:
Oh, good point!

Joey:
Ok. On that note... I'm gonna go to the bathroom, and when I get back, I'd like it very much if this week's episode of Sex and the City had come to an end.

Jen:
Ok, Charlotte.

Dawson:
Um... guys, USC is not for me. I want to drop out. I know this comes as a surprise to both of you, but I spent the whole summer in L.A., And I went to every single one of my classes, and the main thing that I learned about L.A. is that L.A. is just not where I want to be right now.

Gail:
And Boston is?

Dawson:
All my friends are in Boston.

Gail:
Oh, honey. You'll make new friends in California. It just takes some time.

Dawson:
Mom, it's more than that. It's more than that. I'm... I'm at a profound crossroads in my life, and I know that if I don't choose this path, I'm going to have significant regrets.

Gail:
Hmm… Where would you live?

Dawson:
Uh, with Jack and Jen at Grams'.

Gail:
What would you do?

Dawson:
Find a new school.

Gail:
Oh, Dawson.

Dawson:
Mom, I know I sound like a complete flake, but I promise you, I've given this a lot of thought.

Mitch:
I've given this some thought myself, and I've decided... you're not dropping out.

Dawson:
It doesn't work like that, dad.

Mitch:
If you're going to stand here and talk to me about crossroads and paths so you can drop out of school and go crash on a sofa, then don't presume to talk to me like you're an adult.

Audrey:
I have this theory about you. You want to hear it?

Joey:
No.

Audrey:
You love academia because of the rules, and you hate relationships because of the lack of them. Joey, no one's gonna grade you on how you handle this, you know? No one's gonna come along and tell you what's expected so you know how to succeed. Relationships are messy. That's their nature. They start messy, and they end messy, and if you ever want to have another relationship in your life, you better just stop worrying about the mess.

Gail:
Did Joey ask you to stay in Boston?

Dawson:
No.

Gail:
Are you two…

Dawson:
Together? No. It makes no logical sense. I know. The past few years of my life, I haven't done anything without a clear-cut objective. I've always been asking myself, "What's my goal? What am I trying to accomplish?" And my whole life, everybody's always been telling me to follow my heart. The irony is, now that I've finally figured out what that means, everybody's telling me I'm crazy if I do it.

Gail:
No, honey. I'm not saying not to follow your heart, but... people change, Dawson. It's a fact. You, all of your friends, you're all gonna change. So if you are absolutely sure that you want to be with Joey, just make sure that you are not going to prevent either one of you from growing. And, sweetheart, I am not dismissing this beautiful idea of soul mates, but the reality of eternal coupling... well, quite frankly, it boils down to one thing... faith. So ask yourself this question-- is Joey the kind of person that you are willing to take a very big leap of faith for?

Joey:
You can't see them very well, can you? At night, in the city.

Pacey:
[Looks at her, surprised to see her. Then he smiles] What? The stars? Um, no you can't see them very well, but what the hell, I've seen them all before, right? [They pause and look at each other, then Joey smiles]

Joey:
Me too.

Mr. Brennan:
I can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss, Dawson.

Dawson:
Thank you, Mr. Brennan. I appreciate it.

Mr. Brennan:
He was here, you know. That night. Your father.

Dawson:
I know. I asked him about you.

Mr. Brennan:
He said, uh, you were a royal pain in the ass.

Dawson:
[Chuckles] That's me.

Mr. Brennan:
He was proud, though. How do I know that, huh? Well, when I mentioned your name, his whole face just lit up. He said you were this brave kid, but he had no idea how you got to be that way. He said you had a romantic streak a mile long, and he said he was proud to know you. I'm sorry if that makes you sad, Dawson, but I figure if somebody says that about you, you ought to know it. Oh, don't forget your change. And be certain to convey my condolences to your mother, would you?

Dawson:
Thank you. I will.

Joey:
[written in a book she gave to Dawson] Dear Dawson, When something like this happens, you wanna reach out and grab the people around you, the ones who matter the most. The ones you take for granted all the time. And you want to take those people and hold onto them as tight as you can, tell them how precious they are to you, how knowing them makes your life better every single day that you're living it. Because when something like this happens, you realize how awful it would be if they didn't know, if they weren't aware of the profound effect they've had on your life. So, I want to take this moment to tell you that I love you, Dawson, and I'm here for you...Now, forever, and every day in between. Love, Joey.

Joey:
Audrey was walking with me to the library, in itself a sign of the apocalypse.

Pacey:
[To Joey] Now that's not true, you were once and will always remain the number one skittish kitten in my life.

Jack:
They did.

Pacey:
You think?!

Jack:
Oh yah, definitely did...do you feel different?

Pacey:
I do! I do, I feel...different. I mean here we have Dawson Leery walking amongst us, and I gotta tell ya, I'm a little worried he wasn't prepared - we didn't even get a chance to have the talk!...how do you know?

Jack:
Mm. It's not so much him as it is her. I mean, as sick as this sounds, I know the look.

Pacey:
Oh man...you know, we almost did too.

Jack:
I know, I know . . . come to think of it, we almost did once too.

Pacey:
Hmm...whaddya think it takes?

Jack:
A virgin and a straight guy.

Pacey:
Damn...

Audrey:
Come on, Joey. That guy is gorgeous.

Joey:
Ok, he's gorgeous and... familiar.

Audrey:
We have to plot some smart, subtle way for you to meet him.

Joey:
How about I go up to him and say, "Aren't you Charlie, the guy who dicked over Jen?"

Audrey:
That's Charlie? Charlie the jerk?

Joey:
In the flesh.

Audrey:
That can't be the same girl that sleeps in my room! Who is that girl?!

Pacey:
That is "other Joey."

Audrey:
You wanna know why else I love pool? Because the chalk matches my eye shadow! How cute is that?

Joey:
So tell me. Does this sort of thing actually work?

Charlie:
I wouldn't know. I'm not like the rest of these pre-epoch Neanderthals in this place.

Joey:
No?

Charlie:
I've never done this before.

Joey:
Really?

Charlie:
Yeah.

Joey:
So, you must've used a different tact with Jen Lindley, huh?

Charlie:
Hmm. Joey, the smart girl from Worthington.

Joey:
Charlie, womanizer from Boston bay.

Audrey:
Bawdy?! You make me sound like I'm Bette Midler or something!

Jack:
Besides, Jen and I have done this Will & Grace thing for quite too long.

Jen:
[about Charlie] Dawson, he's evil. Isn't it entirely possible that he is the anti-Christ packed into the body of a handsome musician?

Dawson:
I need you to do me a big favor.

Jen:
You want me to kill him.

Dawson:
I need you to go home.

Pacey:
[after he has mistaken his one night stand's name] Oh come on, sweetheart, don't leave angry. Or if you must, at least don't drive angry.

Rina:
Have a nice life, Stacey.

Mugger:
Are you a virgin?

Joey:
[pause] Can you be any more of a dick right now?

Mugger:
Yeah, I could shoot you.

Pacey:
[referring to Joey and Audrey] "High maintenance" is just another way of saying "high quality."

Pacey:
So what is the name of this place we're going to, anyway?

Charlie:
Uh, the 'Drunk and the Dead.'

Pacey:
Oh, that sounds like a nice family joint.

Charlie:
I think I dreamt this once.

Joey:
What are you talking about?

Charlie:
You, me, a big backseat.

Joey:
This backseat has no implications.

Charlie:
Hey, I didn't say that it did.

Joey:
This is strictly business.

Charlie:
All my backseat transactions are.

Pacey:
[To Charlie] And I just got tired of hating you so intensely, but make no mistake if you do anything to hurt Joey, I will make you regret it for the rest of your waking days.

Dawson:
Is it completely stupid for me to get clothes for my little sister for her birthday?

Jen:
No, I think that it's great, you know. She's finally developing her own sense of style as opposed to that typical blatant nudity.

Charlie:
I am the devil!

Charlie:
[to Joey] No, I was going to say that I want to take you into the bathroom and do ungodly things to you.

Jen:
Is that Chris Hartford?

Pacey:
Oh, my God! The movie star I ordered from my teen beat catalog finally got here. I was getting so worried.

Charlie:
Look, I would be happy to stop calling. Just tell me where you are.

Joey:
I'm in your dreams, Charlie Todd.

Charlie:
See, now, wait a second. That sounded suspiciously like flirting to me.

Joey:
Maybe... and this is what a dial tone sounds like. [Hangs up on him]

Joey:
[Answering her phone] Hello?

Charlie:
Hello gorgeous.

Joey:
So, I was beginning to worry. You haven't called for 3 hours.

Charlie:
Oh, so you do like my calling.

Joey:
What do you want, exactly?

Charlie:
Nothing, really. Just your address.

Joey:
No problem. I'm at 359 No-Way-in-Hell Avenue on the corner of Get-Over-It and Main.

Joey:
OK, so let me get this straight...

Dawson:
Oh, no. Why do I feel a quasi-feminist rant coming on?

Joey:
Shut up. So basically, spring break is hunting season, Florida is the forest, and girls are the target.

Jack:
I said I was going out for the necessary provisions; that means beer and jello.

[Charlie is outside playing guitar and singing]

Audrey:
Could he be any cuter?

Joey:
No, but he could be more in tune.

Audrey:
Come on. This is so romantic. It's like that movie. It's like you make him want to be a better man.

Joey:
Wouldn't it be better for society if I made him want to be a better guitar player?

Audrey:
Ok, it is official. You are the queen of negativity. There'll be a crowning ceremony later in the day.

Joey:
I'm the worst kind of person because I suck these boys into my web, and then I make them give up their dreams until they're left sad and dreamless and living in Boston.

Audrey:
That sound you just heard? That was all the fun leaving the building.

Joey:
I do not drool, and if you tell anyone I do, then I'll just mention how you moan in your sleep about your mom taking away your Barbie dolls.

Charlie:
Ok, I didn't-

Joey:
Only for about 20 minutes.

Charlie:
In that case, I saw no drool.

Amy Lloyd:
Look at you, all Harrison Ford in Working Girl.

Dawson:
I'd rather be him in Raiders.

Amy Lloyd:
Cuter in the former.

Dawson:
Cooler in the latter.

Dawson:
What makes a girl decide to spend the night with a guy she hardly knows?

Amy Lloyd:
The same things that make a guy want to. Of course, with girls, the deciding factor is usually the shoes.

Dawson:
You decided to sleep with me because of my Skechers?

Amy Lloyd:
I could tell you were okay, safe, genuine, a kindred spirit.

Dawson:
And Mr. Car Cover?

Amy Lloyd:
Loafers.

Jen:
You know what? It may be a huge mistake, absolutely horrible. We may come back after a week. But so what? No matter what happens, for the rest of our lives, whenever Costa Rica comes up in casual conversation, we'll be able to say, "Good Old Costa? Yeah, I spent some time there."

Jack:
How often does Costa Rica come up in casual conversation?

Jen:
Hey! You tryin' to kill my buzz, man?

Mr. Devaney:
What is going on here?

Pacey:
You, sir, are witnessing a coup d'etat. [Pacey reaches into his pocket, pulls out a note, and reads as the rest of the staff enters] "It is my unfortunate duty as duly designated representative of the staff of Civilization to inform you that, in hiring Miss Alexandra Pearl as the manager of this restaurant, you have made a grievous error in judgment. In her short time here, she has demonstrated not only complete incompetence, but an--"

Alex:
Stop it right now. Stop.

Pacey:
Oh, I'm not finished yet. "Not only complete incompetence, but an utter disrespect for all of her employees. She's manipulative, vindictive, and cruel, and she has created an environment so hostile and unpleasant that we feel it is impossible for us to serve today's meal at a level representative of our abilities."

Mr. Devaney:
So...no lunch?

Pacey:
On the contrary. I brought enough pizza for everybody.

[Pacey begins passing out the pizzas]

Alex:
Mr. Devaney, everyone, Pacey Witter is a deeply disturbed and highly delusional young man who has become increasingly obsessed with me.

Pacey:
That is a good move. Very clever.

Alex:
It's okay, Pacey. This is clearly the result of some sort of a breakdown. Now, I can assure you that all of his statements are nothing more than the ramblings of a lunatic and in no way are indicative of the feelings of my otherwise amazing staff.

Trevor:
Actually, they are indicative of the feelings of the rest of the staff... really indicative. Completely indicative.

Alex:
Pacey, you're fired!

Pacey:
Yeah. Reap the whirlwind, babe.

Pacey:
[over the intercom] Audrey, it's me. Look, I don't know if you can hear me right now but if you can, please don't get on that plane, please. Or you know what, if you do get on that plane, its fine because all you're gonna make me do is make me drive across country and hang out in front of your parent's Beverly Hills mansion until you talk to me. Because I have to tell you that I am really, truly sorry for everything, and I'm sorry that I wasn't completely truthful with you and I'm sorry for my predilection for the company of older women. It's just that this has been a really strange year for me Audrey, because while the rest of you guys are off to in the whole college thing, I was just doing my best to stay afloat. And believe me, nobody is handing out road maps for the road less traveled, you just kinda got to get on and start driving. But ultimately, the only thing that I'm gonna take away from this year and the only thing that I'm gonna remember is you, because you are amazing Audrey. And you came along at the time when I thought all the big loves of my life are behind me, and you just rock my world. And I know that you and I don't actually even know each other that well yet but, I'm sure that I could live without you, I'm just not sure that I want too, Audrey, so that's it. Uh, that's it. That's my pitch. So, peace out everybody. Free the West Memphis Three.

Gale:
Honey, you don't have to be so strong all the time. You can fall to pieces just about any time you want. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Dawson:
I'm not ashamed. There's... everybody keeps on asking me, "How you doin'? How you feelin'?" Truth is, I don't feel anything. Not a thing. I'm numb. Which, to tell you the truth, is really not so bad.

Gale:
Um, that's great... until it all comes crumbling down.

Dawson:
Well... until then.

Dawson:
Mom, you ok?

Gale:
Yeah, for the moment. [After long pause while staring at Lily] You wanna know what the worst part is?

Dawson:
What?

Gale:
She'll never even know he existed.

Dawson:
Not if I have anything to do about it. She is going to hear about her daddy every chance I get.

Audrey:
What are you so nervous about? It's just Dawson. You guys have like known each other since you were placenta.

Joey:
Exactly. It's Dawson. My best friend in the entire world who needs me right now more than he probably ever has and that's a lot of pressure. You know, what if I mess up and I say all the wrong things and at the end of the day I'm not enough.

Dawson:
Joey, thank you.

Joey:
For what?

Dawson:
For taking me in, getting me out. All evidence to the contrary, you really did make me feel better.

Audrey:
You're not happy.

Joey:
No, I am happy. That's the problem.

Audrey:
Uh huh, because you're neurotic.

Joey:
No, because I shouldn't be happy, I mean, my best friend in the entire world just left. I haven't seen him in almost a month and as soon as he walked out of the door, I felt relieved. How horrible is that?

Audrey:
It's not horrible, that's honest.

Joey:
Why do I feel so guilty?

Tobey:
What is that?

Jen:
What is what?

Tobey:
That stupid fantasy you have where the guy who broke your heart suddenly realizes he's made the biggest mistake of his life and he finds you wherever you are. He comes running up to you and he says: 'I can't live without you. You are my entire universe and if you don't take me back right now, I will never love anyone again'... Where does this fantasy come from?

Jen:
Movies, television, and that little place in your heart that harbors hope... He's going to regret this, you know?

Tobey:
Yeah maybe. Maybe not. The thing is we tell ourselves that to make ourselves feel better, but the truth is somebody always gets hurt worse in every breakup. This time it's me. Hold on to that Charlie. He seems like he could be a good egg. [Tobey looks down the street once more] I really thought he'd come.

Dawson:
The truth is, Jo, I don't know what to do with myself.

Joey:
Dawson, your dad just died. You've every right to be feeling that way.

Dawson:
You know why I came here this weekend? It was to see a shrink. Well, a grief specialist to be exact.

Joey:
Well, how'd it go?

Dawson:
Didn't. I flaked.

Joey:
You know, Kay, um, I've sat here this entire meal and listened to you do nothing but cut down your daughter. And I don't know if you're just upset with her because she's not what you want her to be, or because she's 18 and you're not. Audrey may be dramatic, but at least she's never boring. And she may be interested in a lot of different things, but that just makes her well-rounded. And as far as discipline goes, she obviously has a great deal because no matter what you seem to say to her, she somehow manages to grin and bear it. As you can see, I don't really have that kind of discipline. Audrey, let's go. There's a party.

Dawson:
Joey, for the past 15 minutes, I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you how sorry I am, and I just don't know how. It's like... English is all of a sudden my second language.

Joey:
Aren't we beyond the need for formal apologies at this point? I mean, besides... you were such a jerk last night, I figure you're feeling all kinds of stupid.

Dawson:
The last time I was here, everybody just walked on eggshells around me, so that just reminded me of everything.

Jen:
Mmm, your life just seems to suck right now in ways that I can't imagine, but... everybody's trying their best, you know?

Dawson:
Yeah, you're right. I'm a lucky guy. I've some pretty kick-ass friends.

Jen:
Don't you forget it.

Dawson:
I seem to have won a film festival in Hooksett, New Hampshire. Which is... really bizarre because I never entered a film festival in Hooksett, New Hampshire.

Gale:
No, but your father did. Yep. He wasn't very good with little details, but... he always believed in you.

Dawson:
Am I just lying to myself?

Dr. Weir:
Dawson, losing someone you love... losing them suddenly, with no logical explanation... the brain isn't set up to cope with something like that. And along the way, a few lies here and there... it's probably par for the course. The only problem is when you start convincing yourself that the lies are true.

Professor Wilder:
Most people when they get to college feel really insecure. Seems like everybody around them knows so much more, so they race to catch up, they pretend to know things instead of slowing down to actually learn them, because they don't realize that the discomfort of uncertainty is the most precious part of the experience. If you can fee comfortable not knowing, you can learn anything, anything, and if not then you've stopped before you've begun.

Joey:
Well for a while I was feeling insecure.

Professor Wilder:
No!

Joey:
And I just... I guess what I'm saying is, thanks for choosing me to be on this project.

Professor Wilder:
Thank you for sticking with it.

Charlie:
Man, you have managed to land two of the most high maintenance women I have ever met. How did you do it?

Pacey:
High maintenance is just another way of saying high quality.

[After having had sex for the first time]

Jen:
Look at you smiling.

Dawson:
So that's what everyone's talking about.

Jen:
That's it.

Dawson:
Hmm... it wasn't... what I imagined.

Jen:
It's not?

Dawson:
No. Everyone always told me your first time is never as good as you'd imagine it to be. That was... every bit the fantasy.

Dawson:
For the first time, I was finally able to appreciate what a great father he was and how lucky I was to have known him without feeling guilty. Without feeling like I let him down. I don't wanna jinx anything, but... I dare say I'm happy.

Joey:
Who's Karen?

Pacey:
Do you really want to have that conversation now?

Joey:
Uh, no. Sorry. Sugar high.

Pacey:
What the whole world needs is a good old-fashioned urban legend.

Jack:
Yeah, that's all we need... more predictable stories about a guy with a hook for an arm that kills the amorous couple.

Pacey:
Hey, those stories exist for a reason, Jack.

Joey:
Right, to discourage teenagers from drinking and having sex in the woods.

Audrey:
I'm just seeking clarification here. Are you the most bookwormy, pathetic person alive?

Joey:
Well, according to your party-till-you- drop-out standards, apparently.

Joey:
Maybe I've just lost the will to scream.

Pacey:
Oh, please. You were once and will forever remain the number one skittish kitten in my life.

[Joey gives him a look]

Pacey:
It's not to worry. It's part of your charm.

Pacey:
So, Dawson... Dawson Leery!

Dawson:
That's my name.

Pacey:
Yep! Well, come on man.

Dawson:
Come on what?

Pacey:
Why, oh, why did you choose to take the lovely and talented Jen Lindley away for the weekend?

Jack:
A woman even my tribe can't resist.

Pacey:
And here you are not sharing the details?

Dawson:
There's nothing to share.

Pacey:
Really? So that's why you've been staring at the bathroom door like you wish you had telekinetic powers? Which means to me that either you are very, very concerned about Audrey's wardrobe or, perhaps, you're concerned about Joey?

Jack:
You call me crazy but I don't think Joey's gonna mind a little kissing. Unless, of course, something more happened.

Pacey:
Now, there's an interesting idea, but what more could have happened?

Dawson:
Guys, I'm not gonna go over the bases with you.

Pacey:
I didn't say bases, did you say bases?

Jack:
Guys, we don't need details.

Dawson:
Alright, I'll be right back.

Jen:
[lying together in front of a fire] So when do you think the fun stops in a healthy relationship?

Dawson:
I have no idea, but I think we're going to have a blast finding out.

Audrey:
Tell me something. Does this sort of thing usually work with the ladies?

Pacey:
What sort of thing?

Audrey:
The 'if I'm this passionate about the sensual art of cooking, imagine how good I am in bed' thing?

Pacey:
Mm hmm.

Audrey:
Imagine how good you'd do if you actually trimmed your nails.

Jen:
You know how weird it is to live with somebody, to be with somebody who no matter what you do can always really see you? It's a little scary.

Dawson:
Mm hmm, it's a lot scary. Does it help if I remind you how much I like what I see?

Joey:
I got asked out today.

Audrey:
[fakes a gasp] Of course, you said no.

Joey:
Of course.

Audrey:
Because you're long-suffering and insane and fixated on Dawson.

Joey:
How dysfunctional do you think I am?

Audrey:
About one lithium pill short of 'Girl Interrupted' status.

Audrey:
You totally want me.

Pacey:
Audrey, if you're attracted to me, you can just say so. We don't have to play all these childish games.

Audrey:
Hmm, Pacey... you're really nice and everything. It's just that... I don't know. You're kind of... boring.

Grams:
I like to think I've come a long way over the past few years with Jennifer's help. Once upon a time, I couldn't even say the word penis.

Dawson:
You know what, it would... it would be fine by me if you never said it again.

Dawson:
I'm not your other boyfriends. I'm not going to fight with you, I'm not going to lie to you, and I'm not going to cheat on you. I'm going to the movies. If you want to come with me it would be great, if not I'll see you when I get home. Because I will come home and I'm going to keep coming home no matter how hard you try and push me away. Now you can either take my word for it or you can keep on testing me, either way Jen, the results are going to be the same.

Jen:
If that's what the people want, if they want me to be nasty and sarcastic, I can do that. I just need something that's gonna take me there. Pacey, say something disgusting.

Pacey:
Sure, would you prefer sexist or just downright vulgar? [Jen's cell phone rings]

Jen:
Hold that thought. [Answers her phone] Hello. [in a sweet, childish voice] Hello, my little pumpkin.

Pacey:
Oh, you are so fired.

Jen:
If you had a relationship question, wouldn't you rather talk to somebody who was in a healthy, loving relationship?

Pacey:
Hell no! I always prefer to get my advice from people who are far more dysfunctional than I am; that way I feel good about my life.

Jen:
This is Jen Lindley, and I'm here to answer any questions that you may have concerning matters of the heart... or the groin.

Audrey:
OK, my question of the day is this: Why do guys do anything to get your phone number, but once they have it, never use it properly? I mean, why do they only use it for a booty call? Oh, and footnote: where does the term "booty call" come from? I mean, if "booty" means "sex", why don't people ever say: "let's go have booty"?

Joey:
It is painfully obvious that the only reason you don't like his book is because you think it's affecting your mojo with the ladies.

Elliott:
Well, that shows how little you know me. I have no mojo to speak of.

Joey:
I think you have a little.

Pacey:
How do you do that thing?

Audrey:
What thing?

Pacey:
You smile and the whole world lights up.

Audrey:
You're not my type. You're not my type.

Pacey:
You already said that.

Audrey:
I know. I'm just... convincing myself.

[they kiss]

Audrey:
[to Joey] Our friendship is like the special-est thing that I've found since I came here. And what do I do? I step on it. I betray you. Why? Because I am weak when it comes to men.

Pacey:
If something happened between me and Audrey, it would be a horrible, terrible, awful thing, right?

Joey:
Pacey, you're an idiot.

Pacey:
Ok. If one more person calls me an idiot, I'm really gonna start feeling bad about myself.

Joey:
Don't you think I'd prefer you hooking up with someone amazing like Audrey rather than some random ditz who's name you can't even remember in the morning?

Joey:
[to Audrey] I love you. [to Pacey] I love you. I love you both in the best, simplest way, and all I care about is that you guys are happy.

Audrey:
You're like... giving us permission?

Joey:
You don't need my permission. I'm giving you my blessing... for what it's worth.

Joey:
My tenth birthday, my father takes me to the park, and if you knew Mike Potter, you'd know that was a pretty big deal. I mean, he never really had time for stuff like that... but he took me, and we played for hours... jungle gym, swings, everything... and I was so happy. He was so popular with the people, and... everyone seemed to know him, and... I was so proud to be his daughter. I mean, he was, like, the Mayor or something. It wasn't until years later that I realized he was dealing drugs to them.

Mugger:
Heartwarming story. What's your point?

Joey:
My point is... my dad did a lot of crappy stuff. I mean, this is the guy who cheated on my mom with a cocktail waitress while she was dying of cancer. He let me and my sister down time and time again, so many times and in so many ways, it became funny. But you know what? That day at the park... it still goes down in the books as my favorite day ever.

Mugger:
Well, the point is, I love my wife. I love my daughter, but... I am who I am. Nothing's gonna change that. I mean, you wanna know why people do the things that they do. There is no why, sweetheart. They just do.

Joey:
That's crap. If you really loved your daughter, if you really loved her, you wouldn't do those things.

Joey:
Your daughter is, uh, really beautiful. It's a shame she has such a dickhead for a dad.

Mugger:
Well, sounds like your dad was a bit of a dickhead, too. Look how well you turned out.

Joey:
You don't know anything about me.

Mugger:
True, but from what I can tell, you're pretty smart... and funny... and reasonably hot, and I imagine most of your friends like having you around... most of the time, when you're not smartin' off with that little mouth.

Sammy:
Did my daddy do something bad to you?

Joey:
[pause] No. He did something really nice for me.

Sammy:
He did?

Joey:
Yeah. I was crossing the street, and I wasn't paying any attention, and there was this car coming, and it was gonna hit me, but then your daddy came out and pushed me out of the way. He saved my life tonight.

Sammy:
[Turns to her crying mother] Did you hear that, mama? Daddy's a hero.

[Grace kneels down and hugs her daughter]

Grace:
[Mouths silently to Joey] Thank you.

Jen:
Do you think that when, uh, when two people are in a relationship, that they should be passionate about the same things in order for it to work?

Dawson:
No. Not as long as they're passionate about each other.

Jen:
And we are. Right? We're passionate about each other.

Dawson:
You're not having doubts about us, are you?

Audrey:
[To Pacey] Happiness, it freaks me out.

Jack:
[To Pacey] That's kind of the essence of Audrey, isn't it? I mean, she just zeros in on the one thing that you're slightly afraid of, and then she just does not take no for an answer. That's a good quality to have in a person.

Joey:
So what is the best ending in all of literature? Don't say Ulysses. Everyone says Ulysses.

Professor Wilder:
That's easy. Sentimental Education by Flaubert.

Joey:
And what happens?

Professor Wilder:
Nothing, really. Just two old friends sitting around remembering the best thing that never happened to them.

Joey:
How do you remember something that never happened?

Professor Wilder:
Fondly. You see, Flaubert believed that anticipation was the purest form of pleasure... and the most reliable. And that while the things that actually happen to you would invariable disappoint, the things that never happened to you would never dim. Never fade. They would always be engraved in your heart with a sort of sweet sadness.

Dawson:
Would you believe she almost had an affair with her English professor?

Jen:
Joey?

Dawson:
Mm-hmm.

Jen:
Joey Potter?

Dawson:
Yeah.

Jen:
Wow.

Audrey:
Let's just enjoy this for what it is, a wacky road trip high jinx with a motley crew and their collective sexual tension.

Pacey:
Throw in a bag of pork rinds, you got yourself a deal.

Charlie:
I was hoping that maybe you might let me sit next to you, and then, possibly, if I just sat there, then, maybe... whatever happened to make you like me, well, maybe it could happen again.

Joey:
Don't get your hopes up.

Charlie:
[chuckles] Too late.

Joey:
You're thinking that I'm the most attractive and formidable woman you've ever been in the same room with. Though you're terrified of rejection, you like me and you want to take me out on a proper date.

Charlie:
I do wanna ask you out. Very much. Very, very much. And, you know, you... [chuckles] ...you... you make me nervous.

Joey:
I know I do.

Dawson:
I've had this truly bizarre, life-altering year. I... I dropped out of USC to be with this girl who I've loved in one way or another for pretty much my whole life, and then my father died, which completely rocked my universe, and then I jumped headfirst into this really intense relationship with this other girl, and we just broke up, and--and the movie has nothing to do with any of these things, but in a way, it has to do with all of them.

Pacey:
[after having sex] I am more glad. I am gladder. Gladdest. And I can't feel anything below my waist. Is that supposed to happen?

Audrey:
Give me another hour, you'll be in a coma.

Pacey:
[panting] Where... on Earth... did you learn how to do that?

Audrey:
National Geographic.

Pacey:
So this is spring break, it doesn't really look like the brochures.

Audrey:
Hey. I provided the house, you people we supposed to bring on the fun. There are some pizzas.

Joey:
We could rent some movies...

Pacey:
...or play strip poker.

Audrey, Joey and Jen:
NO!

Pacey:
Come on, its not like I haven't seen you all naked before. Ok, ok. We'll rent movies.

Joey:
The point is, I wasn't there for everyday of your life up until now and you weren't here for everyday of mine.

Charlie:
This is supposed to be a good thing?

Joey:
Living without the weight of eighteen years of expectations, yes it's a good thing.

Joey:
I gotta tell you, Dawson. It's like the entire world has been coming at me tonight. Like, completely distracting me from what I've spent my entire life preparing for. I mean, it's like this night has been a metaphor for the whole semester and one big left turn. Not that it's been bad, because it hasn't, but it's just, if I don't get myself back on track, I could... [She looks over to see that he has fallen asleep] Dawson?

Amy:
You are a passionate guy, Mr. Leery. The secret is out, and someday, you are gonna meet someone who drives you absolutely mad, who you are gonna fight with and laugh with and do totally insane things for. Someone who turns your life wildly upside down.

Dawson:
[Sighs] I think I've already met that person.

Amy:
Really? Why aren't you with her?

Dawson:
Bad timing... I suppose.

Jack:
I think it's ok to get back to Grams'. She and Mr. Smalls have to be done practicing choir by now.

Pacey:
You don't really believe that they asked you to leave so that they could rehearse "Jesus loves me" in private, do you?

Jen:
Whenever the subject of my parents comes up, I seem to have this really annoying habit of falling apart.

Joey:
When did you become the fatalist?

Dawson:
Right about the same time I went to kiss you and you turn your head like you're on a bad blind date.

Joey:
I was scared.

Dawson:
Of what?

Joey:
Of going backwards, of never growing up.

Joey:
[To Dawson] If we really mean to each other what we say we mean to each other, then...there's nothing to worry about. Everything will work itself out, I guarantee it.