Dumbo

Narrator:
Through the snow and sleet and hail...through the blizzard, through the gale...through the wind and through the rain...over mountain, over plain...through the blinding lightning flash...and the mighty thunder crash...ever faithful, ever true...nothing stops him! He'll get through!

[Timothy sneaks up to the Ringmaster and whispers to him in his sleep]

Timothy:
I... am the voice of your subconscious mind. Your inspiration. Now... concentrate! [is briefly alarmed when he snores] Remember? Your pyramid of elephants are standin' in the ring, waitin' for a climax!

Ringmaster:
[in his sleep] Climax...

Timothy:
You are now getting that climax!

Ringmaster:
Climax...

Timothy:
How's the reception? Comin' through okay? [the Ringmaster grunts] Good. Suddenly, from the sidelines comes your climax!

Ringmaster:
Climax...

Timothy:
Gallopin' across the arena!

Ringmaster:
Arena...

Timothy:
He jumps from a springboard to a platform! At the very pinnacle of your pyramid, he waves a flag for a glorious finish!

Ringmaster:
Finish...

Timothy:
And who is your climax? The little elephant with the big ears! The world's mightiest midget mastodon! DUMBO!!!

Ringmaster:
[grunting, starting to wake up] What?...

Timothy:
[backing away] Dumbo!

Ringmaster:
Dumbo...

Timothy:
[even further away] Dumbo!

Ringmaster:
Dumbo...

Timothy:
[even further away, whispering] Dumbo...

Ringmaster:
Dumbo-- [fully awake, excited] I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

Ringmaster:
Ladies and gentlemen! We will now present, for your entertainment, the most stupendous, magnificent super-colossal spectacle! On this tiny, little, insignificant ball, we will construct for you a pyramid - not of wood, not of stone...

Catty:
[quietly to the Matriarch] To hear him talk, you'd think he was going to do it.

Matriarch Elephant:
[nodding] The stuffed shirt.

Ringmaster:
... but a living, breathing pyramid of ponderous, pulsating, PULCHRRRRRITUDINOUS PACHYDERMS! [quiet and refined again] I give you the elephants.

[As the elephants form a pyramid, climbing on top of each other]

Prissy:
Gaining a little weight, aren't you, honey?

Catty:
You're no cream puff yourself, dearie!

Matriarch Elephant:
[from the bottom] Quiet up there! Tend to your work, girls.

Matriarch Elephant:
Take your foot out of my eye! Clumsy ox!

Matriarch Elephant:
Out of my way, assassin!

[Five crows find Dumbo and Timothy asleep in a tree]

Glasses Crow:
Well, looky here! Looky here!

Preacher Crow:
My, my! Why, this is most irregular!

Straw Hat Crow:
[rubbing his eyes] Well, I just can't believe my eyes!

Glasses Crow:
They ain't dead, is they?

Fat Crow:
[smirks] No. Dead people don't snore... [looks unsure] Or do they?

[The crows quietly confer with each other, when Jim "Dandy" Crow swoops down]

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
What's all the ruckus? C'mon! Step aside, brother! Mmm... What's cookin' 'round here? What's the good news? What's fryin', boys?

Glasses Crow:
Just look down there, brother!

Fat Crow:
And prepare yourself for a shock!

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
[looks down and sees Dumbo and Timothy] OHO! Well, hush my beak!

Straw Hat Crow:
Go ahead. Wake 'em up, brother.

Glasses Crow:
Yeah, find out what they're doin' up here.

Preacher Crow:
Yeah.

Fat Crow:
And ask 'em what they want.

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Okay, boys. Leave it to me.

Timothy:
[groaning exaustedly] Oooooooohhhhhh, those pink elephants...

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Oh! Pink elephants! Mmmm-mm! [the crows laugh]

Timothy:
What's so funny? What are you birds doin' down here, anyway?

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
What are we doin' DOWN here?! Well, hear him talk! [the crows laugh again]

Timothy:
Fly up a tree where you belong.

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Say, look here, Brother Rat--

Timothy:
[jolts up in fury] BROTHER RAT?! Now listen! I ain't your brother and I ain't no rat! See?!

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Uh-huh. And I suppose you and no elephant ain't up in no tree, either! [the crows laugh again]

Timothy:
I wonder how we ever got up in that tree, anyway. Now, let's see... Elephants can't climb trees, can they? Nah, nah, that's ridiculous. Couldn't jump up. Mm-mm, it's too high.

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
Hey there, son! Maybe y'all flew up?

Timothy:
Maybe we flew up. Yeah, maybe we-- [excited] That's it! Dumbo! You flew! Boy, am I stupid. Why didn't I think of this before?! Your ears! Just look at 'em, Dumbo - why, they're perfect wings! The very things that held ya down are gonna carry ya UP and UP and UP! I can see it all now! DUMBO! THE NINTH WONDER OF THE UNIVERSE! THE WORLD'S ONLY FLYING ELEPHANT!

[The crows laugh hysterically]

Glasses Crow:
Did you ever see an elephant fly?

Preacher Crow:
Well, I've seen a horse fly...

Fat Crow:
Ah, I've seen a dragon fly...

Straw Hat Crow:
[giggling] I've seen a house fly!

Jim "Dandy" Crow:
I've seen all that, too! [singing] I seen a peanut stand, and heard a rubber band! I seen a needle that winked its eye! But I be done seen about everything when I see a elephant fly!

Timothy:
[After the crows sing "When I See an Elephant Fly"] Alright, you wise birds! This has gone far enough!

[The crows are still laughing]

Jim Crow:
Quiet, gentleman! The reverend rodent is gonna address you.

Timothy:
You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! A bunch of big buys like you pickin' on a poor little orphan like him. Suppose you was torn away from your mother when you was just a baby. Nobody to tuck you in at nights. No warm, soft, caressing trunk to snuzzle into. How would you like to be left alone in a cold, cruel, heartless world without a mother's love to protect you? And why, I ask you? Why? Just because he's got those big ears, they call him a freak! The laughingstock of the circus! And when his mother tried to protect him, they throw her into the clink. And on top of that, they made him a clown! Oh, what's the use of talking to you cold-hearted birds? Go on! Have your fun! Laugh at him! Kick him now that he's down! Go on! We don't care. [He turns away and blows his nose. The crows cry] Come on, Dumbo. [They walk away]

Jim Crow:
Hey, brother! Wait up! Don't go 'way feelin' like that. We've done seen the light. You boys is okay.

Timothy:
Please. You've done enough.

Jim Crow:
Well, but we's all fixin' to help ya. Ain't that the truth, boys? [The other crows agree] You wanna make the elephant fly, don't ya? Well, you gotta use a lot o' chology. You know, psy-chology. Fellas, gather round... [They huddle up] First you, uh... [Whispering] Then after that, you... [He then plucks a feather off Glasses Crow's tail, and gives it to Timothy] Use the magic feather! Catch on?

Timothy:
The magic feather? [looks at the feather, which briefly glows in a "lightbulb idea" way] Yeah, I gotcha. Dumbo! [rushes to Dumbo, giving him the feather] Look! Have I got it! The magic feather! Now you can fly! [Dumbo looks at the feather, puzzled]

Timothy:
[As Dumbo falls off the platform after the feather falls off] Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open them ears! The magic feather was just a gag! You can fly! Honest, you can! Hurry, open them up! PLEASE! [At the last moment, Dumbo opens his ears and soars over the crowd.] Whee! We did it! We did it! Let's show 'em, Dumbo!