Ed, Edd n Eddy, Season 4

Eddy:
See that loser? That's Kevin. [Kevin appears behind Eddy] He's the neighborhood dork. I have to slap him around every now and then, just to remind him who's boss.

Edd:
Eddy.

Kevin:
Neighborhood dork, huh? [He pulls Eddy's underwear over the back of his bike] Hey, Double Dweeb! You getting this?

Eddy:
[Kevin rides off, dragging Eddy's underwear along] He collects underwear and gives it to the poor. Pretty stupid, huh bro? [Eddy is pulled away] Help! SLOW DOWN, KEVIN! I WAS JUST KIDDING! STOP! PLEASE! [Eddy's underwear snaps and he bounces]

Ed:
Man the helms! Dive! Dive! [Ed swallows the camera]

Edd:
Ed, what have you done? Open it! Open it! [Ed opens his mouth. The camera shows the inside of his stomach] You should know better than to eat the camera. Just think what it will do to your digestive tract.

Eddy:
Give me the cash.

[Grab Eddy face]

Edd:
Eddy, taking note is a essential part of learning.

Eddy:
Are you touching my face?

Edd:
Oh, uh, yes, sorry.

Eddy:
I just learned something today, Double D.

Edd:
You have? Tell me, Eddy.

Eddy:
We should open up a weight loss clinic. I'll be rich.

Rolf:
[looking up at the fake Statue of Liberty] Why is the Lady of Liberty looming over the cul-de-sac?

Eddy:
Eh, good riddance. Violins are for sissies. Why if I played an instrument, I get something manly, like a kazoo or something.

Lee:
You've got a great personality. Besides, who needs good looks when you've got us?

[When Edd removes a plaster from Ed's back.]

Edd:
Is that a cookie?

Ed:
Yep. [eats it] Saved it.

Edd:
THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, IRRATIONAL... it's nice to have you back, Ed.

Jimmy:
See? That's my lucky quarter, Sarah.

Rolf:
Get away from there! [He throws them out of the way] This time, Rolf will be serious!

Eddy:
It's mine! I found the quarter!

Kevin:
Save your breath, losers. That's my quarter.

Sarah:
Take a hike. Jimmy found that quarter first.

Ed:
I found this shoe! [A brawl ensues. Kevin's shoe falls off and lands on the sidewalk in front of Edd] Shoes for the taking, Double D! [Ed enters the fight]

Eddy:
Hands off my quarter! [He goes in]

Edd:
Your attention please. People. I may have a solution to everyone's dilemma.

Jimmy:
Hey everybody, let's be nice. Shush. Double D's got something to..[Rolf and Kevin's bodies fly into Jimmy]

Rolf:
May the onion of agony soil your macaroon! [Kevin cracks Rolf's back] Rolf's back. It has been healed. Thank you, Kevin. But you are a nincompoop, as the coin is mine! Bugaboo! [Rolf leaps into the fray again]

Kevin:
Hey, lay off, it's mine!

[Everyone is fighting over the quarter, but Edd gets everyone's attention by sounding an airhorn]

Kevin:
Dude.

Sarah:
What are you trying to do, blow our heads off?!

Edd:
Crude, yet effective.

Ed:
If you smelt it, you dealt it, Eddy.

Ed:
What can you do, if you live in a shoe, and you ain't got no sole?

Eddy:
I almost up-chucked.

Eddy:
[answers the phone] Talk to me. [whistles a bit] Trade it. Buy it. Sell it. [hangs up]

Ed:
[jumping] Up! Up! Up!

Eddy:
Put some muscle into it, Ed!

Ed:
You got it, chief! And up! [leaps straight up into the sky] WHOA!

Eddy:
Keep that up, Ed!

Ed:
Eddy, I'm coming! [dives down and crashes through the desk]

Eddy:
[yelling] THAT'S IT! I've had it up to here WITH YOUR BAD MOOD! Crack a smile! Bust a gut! BE HAPPY!!! [slaps Ed] Get over it!

Ed:
[screaming at the top of his lungs] BIIIIIIIIIIIIIG TROUUUUUBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!

Edd:
Good golly almighty! What is that horrible odor?! Ed?

Ed:
Not I, Double D. [gestures Eddy] Talk to Mister Stink Pot.

Eddy:
Hey, I had a Kanker hairball stuck in my shower.

[Ed has found a spatula]

Ed:
Oh look, A flipper.

Eddy:
It's a spatula, stupid.

[Eddy and Ed are about to pour the giant vat of pancake mix]

Ed:
I love pancakes!

Eddy:
Shut up and pour, lumpy.

Edd:
If it makes you feel better I'll tell you my middle name.

Eddy:
Ok.

Edd:
Well, Eddy. My middle name, is Marion.

Eddy:
[laughter] Marion?! That's a girl's name!

Eddy:
I say we test it.

Edd:
Test it?

Ed:
Like, mustard?

Edd:
Oh, look Ed. A Skunk. Did you know in some parts it's also known as a Polecat?

[Eddy appears after being sprayed by the skunk.]

Ed:
Who stepped on a duck?

Eddy:
A techno-gizmo like this could cost you up to a million bucks, but for this special offer, you can have it for the low, low price of 25 cents!

Ed:
It sounds like Sockhead, bonehead.

Ed:
[eating one of Edd's shoes] Mm… How long have you been a size 2?

Edd:
Size 2? But I've always worn a size 5 shoe, doctor.

Eddy:
Sounds like another sympton to me.

[Eddy attempts to show his boat to Sarah and Jimmy, but Ed accidentally breaks part of the boat, causing it to sink]

Eddy:
We're sinking!

Edd:
Lifeboats! I FORGOT TO MAKE LIFEBOATS!

Ed:
It wasn't me!

Rolf:
Today Rolf is forced to celebrate his country's traditional Thank You to the Noble Guardian Pigeon.

Ed:
Work that body, work that body, don't you hurt nobody.

[Eddy finds out they're too late to get free Jawbreakers, and attacks Ed]

Eddy:
This is your fault! Admit it! If you do, I promise not to leave bruises.

Kevin:
Hey, you lovebirds, vamoose. Babysitting's over, 'cause I just scored big time. Later. [He walks off, pocket full of change]

Ed:
You forgot to say 'dorks,' Kevin!

Eddy:
Did you see Kevin's pockets? They're bursting with cash, I tell ya!

Edd:
Let's hope for Kevin's sake those stitches don't tear. Wouldn't it be a shame if he were to lose that plentiful peck of pennies?

Eddy:
Yep.

Edd:
Yep? Is that all you have to say for yourself? Yep? No rash, nonsensical quip to defraud Kevin of his fortune?

Eddy:
Scam Kevin. That's what he said, right? I'm way ahead of you, Sockhead. Here's the plan, boys.

[Eddy says nothing]

Edd:
Care to submit an idea for a scam, Jonny?

Jonny:
Wow. A scam? I don't know...How about this. Jonny and Plank's Penny Dance! A one, and a two- [Begins to dance and sing] Pennies, pennies, I seek a penny, give me your pennies, I like the pennies...

Edd:
Um, Eddy, a tad eccentric, don't you think?

Jonny:
...pennies, pennies, I seek a penny, who's got a penny- [Eddy kicks him into the sky.] Whoo-ee that smarts!

Eddy:
Hey monobrow, give me a push will you?

Ed:
Can do, Eddy! But I cannot join you in your merriment for I am responsible for Plank's mommy and daddy. [pushes bus, realizes that Plank's parents are on Eddy's bus] Hey, hold it one darn second there!

Eddy:
This is all your fault. They're all just hunks of wood, for Pete's sake.

Edd:
I wouldn't say that too loudly, Eddy. I think they're watching us.

Ed:
Make them go away, Double D! Make them go away!

Eddy:
Man, this is stupid.

Old Eddy:
[to Edd] What happened to us, Double D? We look like turkeys. [pulls at the loose skin on Edd's chin. The skin drops down and hangs limply]

Old Edd:
Calm down, Eddy. I'll let you shuffle. [holds out a deck of cards]

Old Eddy:
I hate cribbage! [swats the deck away and falls over] I'm just a kid!

Old Edd:
[laughing] Kid? Oh, Eddy. We haven't been kids in over 90 years.

Old Eddy:
90 years?!

Old Ed:
[falling over] Baby go wee-wee! [he and Edd laugh]

Eddy:
What lame-brained schmuck would throw away a perfectly good tricycle?