Entourage, Season 4

Billy Walsh:
[to narrator] 'Movie'? I hate the word movie. I don't make movies, I make films!

[The final scene of Medellin has completed its first and only take]

Billy Walsh:
Cut! [walks to E] Start off, suit, I need another one. [E is flabbergasted] Ahh, I'm f***ing with you, it was perfect! [crew cheers]

Vince:
[surveying aftermath] Guys, we did it.

E:
Yeah, who would've thought that two kids from Queens could have pulled this off, but we did, it's gonna be f***ing amazing.

Vince:
You know, I've never felt so good about a movie after making this one. I know it.

Documentary Narrator:
Billy, think you've made a good film?

Walsh:
[looks to narrator] Hey, it's gonna be a genius or its gonna f***ing suck. 'Til I see the first cut, I have no idea, but you know what? Neither does anybody else.[walks away. Vince, E, and Turtle wonder about what he just said.]

[Billy Walsh introduces Vince and E to the post-production crew before showing the first cut of Medellin]

Billy:
Guys, my whole crew is Latin; help make this film as absolutely authentic as it could be. My editor Raul, his assistant slash little brother Terro. Both Mexican, both totally legal. My, uh, post guy's Brazilian, the caterers from Chile. Every Thursday we get that endangered sea bass flown in.

Eric:
[sees very pretty Latina woman walk past him] What does she do?

Billy:
She gives blow jobs. Seriously, she's a street walker I brought back from Colombia.

[The Golds are trying to find out what happened to Jonah at school]

Ari:
I teach my son never to let people just take things from him. It's my Israeli blood. Okay?

[E has just seen a trailer for Medellin at Billy Walsh's post-production lab]

E:
Wow, this looks great.

Technician:
Yeah, if only the movie looked so good.

E:
What?

Technician:
I didn't say anything. [turns off editing machine and leaves]

[E has just found out that Billy suddenly sent a print of Medellin to the Cannes Film Festival committee]

Ari:
Yes E, I would say being rejected by Cannes before we have a distributor would be a disaster.

[On the way home from dinner, Ari and Mrs Ari discover that a screenplay M Night Shyamalan gave to Ari for reading has disappeared. They stop the car to find it.]

Ari:
[having checked out the backseat] Jesus Christ, the valet probably stole it.

Mrs Ari:
Don't be racist.

Ari:
Valets steal shit, alright? Just because they're mostly Hispanic, doesn't make a racist. You know what happens if this gets out? If someone puts Night's new ending on the Internet, MY LIFE IS OVER!

Mrs Ari:
Nobody's gonna know you did it.

Ari:
Yes they will, because Night, that little sick f***, printed my name [pounds roof with every word] on every f***ing page!

[Ray the Bouncer talks to Vince about something]

Ray:
Yo, Vin.

Vince:
Hey! [clasps hands]

Ray:
This is delicate.

Vince:
What's that?

Ray:
You know your boy you came in with? [referring to Beverly Hills mayor]

Vince:
Yeah, what about him?

Ray:
He's about to suck face with a tranny.

Vince:
What? Come on!

Drama:
That's no tranny, that's Annika!

Ray:
Annika's got a bigger stuff than you do, Drama.

Ari:
How is the most f***able president of production in town?

Dana:
Ari, get the f*** out.

Ari:
Brought Cristal and Sprinkles cupcakes.. Your favorite. Or is it mine? What's the difference, we used to eat everything off each other anyway.

[E and Billy try to patch up their differences over the Medellin trailer leak]

Eric:
But he sent me an email at four a.m. threatening to kill me.

Billy:
And then at five a.m., my editor called and told me that he got pissed at his girl last week and put a video of him giving her a facial on cumfiesta.com. She got back at him with my trailer... our trailer.

[Ari has had enough of Glenn Holden, Lloyd's replacement assistant who was originally fired at TMA in Season 2]

Ari:
Get out of here, Glenn.

Glenn:
Where do you want me to go?

Ari:
Anywhere but here or I will kill you.

[Eager to win the dating bet against E, Turtle try to find the woman he and Drama propositioned over Craigslist]

Turtle:
[sees young woman on table] Excuse me. You wouldn't happen to be Kelsey, would you?

Woman:
And even if I was, I'd say no.

Turtle:
[leaves her] That's just rude, honey.

[The Golds have ran out of options looking up a potential school for Jonah. Ari tries one last tack with Andrew Preston, headmaster of Sarah's school, Briar Country Day]

Andrew Preston:
What is the meaning of this?

Ari:
Well, there's something that I needed, that I'd like to say to you.

Preston:
Something different than what you muttered at me under your breath this morning?

Ari:
You heard that?

Preston:
What do you want, Mr. Gold?

Ari:
Just a moment of your time so that I can say to you that through this process, I have learned from you, Mr. Preston. You are an educator and you've educated me about being a man, about being a father, and I know that you can't be bought. I tried. I know that you can't be blackmailed because you're too perfect, but I guess I want to know, can you be compassionate? Because I am coming to you, hat in hand, to ask you - to beg you - to let my son have a proper education. And don't make him suffer because he has a way too aggressive father that won't shut up on the soccer field. Okay? Please, sir, please.

Preston:
Look at you. Did you ever think given your high-power status, that you'd ever be reduced to begging and pleading?

Ari:
No sir, I didn't. I didn't.

Preston:
I suppose there's a first time for everything. I myself never asked anybody for anything until now.

Ari:
Is there something you need? [sits down with Preston]

Preston:
I have a son, a special boy, who works in the mail room at Abrams. I think he can do better.

Ari:
How special? 'Cause, I love special. Half my lit department has an IQ under 65. So, why don't you tell your boy, that come Monday, he's got a desk, in a real agency with a real salary. All right? The things that we do for our children, huh?

Preston:
You tell Jonah, I'm looking forward to his first day, at Briar Country Day - [points finger at Ari before going back inside house] But I still don't want to see you at any soccer games. [Ari laughs]

Ari:
[contemplating outcome] I love this town!

[Eric answers the phone in his new office.]

Eric:
Eric Murphy.

Ari:
Like the new office number E? You know, it spells 274-COCK.

Eric:
It does not!

Ari:
No, it doesn't, but I made you look!

[A proposal meeting for Mary J. Blige as a client with MGA has been disrupted by a fight between Jensen twins Jim and Jeff. Ari summons the two to his office and demands the truth]

Jim Jensen:
He f***ed my wife, Ari.

Ari Gold:
No, he did not. [stammers, to Jeff] You did? You f***ed his wife? [Jeff nods] As you?

Jeff Jensen:
What?

Ari:
Did you pretend to be him [gestures to Jim] or did she actually f*** you thinking you were you?

Jim:
[To Ari] You think this is funny?

Ari:
No, I think this is disgusting!

[Lloyd has connected with Dana Gordon, whom Ari wants to talk to.]

Lloyd:
I have Dana Gordon.

Ari:
[during push-ups] Weird, huh? I used to do push-ups like this on top of Dana Gordon. True story.

[Ari and Mrs Ari argue over her guest spot in The Young and the Restless]

Ari:
I'm sorry okay, I get jealous.

Mrs Ari:
You're possessive. I don't want an apology for that!

Ari:
What...for what, then?

Mrs Ari:
For... for telling me that I'm old and that I wouldn't photograph in Hi-Def.

Ari:
It's a legitimate concern. Look, I just didn't want you doing it alright, I like the way things are. I don't want you on television - I don't want some 19-year-old kissing the lips I'm supposed to be kissing, alright? Listen, if you want to go and be a soap whore everyday, just do it knowing that you make your husband miserable.

Mrs Ari:
[sits near him] You think I want to do it, Ari? I gave up acting to have a family and I have never ever regretted it. I like the way things are. Just wanted [hits Ari] one day of stupid fun..

Ari:
With Julio down at the schoolyard.

Mrs Ari:
Well, if I'm so old and ugly, why do you even care?

Ari:
Well some guys are into that -

Mrs Ari:
[stands up and towers over him] Tell me that I'm sexy Ari.

Ari:
You are the beautiful mother of my children [kisses Mrs Ari] and I respect you. [continues kissing]

Mrs Ari:
Oh Julio...JULIO!!

Ari:
You little f***ing slut!! [beds Mrs Ari]

[E and Anna Faris are on the phone.]

E:
You know that we've been on the phone for like, 97 minutes?

Anna Faris:
Well, I needed something to pass the time before the Pussycat Dolls comes on.

E:
You're obsessed, you know that?

Faris:
Hey, some people have drugs or alcohol in times of sadness, I have reality TV.

[Ari tries to convince studio head Richard Wimmer about the potential of Billy Walsh's Silo script, but Dana Gordon is determined to see Walsh and Vince fired from the project because it is not the script Walsh was paid to write.]

Richard Wimmer:
I'm gonna tear your head off, Ari.

Ari Gold:
Please don't, because I have [shows script] your summer movie. [begins to explain script] From the director of Medellin and Queens Boulevard comes Silo. It is the story of a group of non-unionized farm hands who band together to survive a nuclear attack after discovering an underground society. It is ready to shoot, Billy Walsh is on board, Vinnie Chase is on board, and if you're not, Fox, Universal, and Sony are.

Dana Gordon:
He's bluffing.

Wimmer:
What's it matter? There's a summer movie in there, we pack up our shit and go home.

Lloyd:
You said that if you're wife didn't go to Cannes, that I could.

Ari:
When did I say that?

Lloyd:
When you said it wasn't time for me to get promoted yet.

Ari:
You know what, Lloyd? I'm in the middle of a code red alert. I got military police everywhere, German shepherds ready to attack at a moment's notice, I'm facing three-hour delays and an uncertain, unsafe future. So get off my ass and go get my wife some favorite flowers!

[The boys decided not to join Sidney Pollack on his private flight to Cannes because of a lack of space and Vince's determination to bring everybody, until Kanye West's team appears at the departure lounge]

Kanye West:
[to Vince] Where you headed?

Vince:
Nowhere.

Turtle:
We got no plane, man.

Kanye:
We're headed to London, we're chilling out for a second.

Turtle:
How much room you got?

Kanye:
We got a little room. [points to large private jet]

[Drama and a French girl who picked him up at Yair Marx's boat talk about Viking Quest, which is a big hit in France]

Drama:
[Laughs] That's amazing. I didn't know that episode aired, we got cancelled in the middle of shooting it.

Jacqueline:
Well, it aired here. I've seen that scene a hundred times.

Drama:
A hundred? Come on.

Jacqueline:
I'm not exaggerate! My whole family, especially my father, loved Viking Quest. At 9pm every Thursday, we'd be like, [speaks French dialogue]

Drama:
Really?

Jacqueline:
Oui! He put on my brother in the uniform that you wore on the show for his birthday. He's so funny, though his muscles are not as big as yours.

Drama:
That's amazing.

Jacqueline:
Amazing is meeting you. Here.

Drama:
Yeah.

Jacqueline:
So shall we go back to your hotel?

[Medellin has finished screening, and the heckles have started flying]

Dana Gordon:
Thanks for not selling me this movie Ari, it's the one nicest thing you've ever done for me. [to Yair Marx, whose beside Ari] Congratulations Yair, I hear it's all yours.

Yair Marx:
I didn't sign anything.

Ari:
What are you talking about?

Marx:
That's the worst piece of shit I've ever seen!

Ari:
Yair, we had a deal.

Marx:
Sue me, my company's based out of Dubai. [puts on shades] Good luck.

Gordon:
I'm sorry, Vince.

Billy Walsh:
[in front of screen] Hey! Where the f*** are you French faggots going!?? Show some respect! Go below the line people, and watch the credit! What, no Q and A?

Harvey Weingard:
[sits beside Ari] It ain't easy making a movie.

Ari:
You come to gloat now Harvey?

Weingard:
No, no. I just came to say that E was right, there's genius in this.

Ari:
You want to buy it?

Weingard:
I do - for one dollar.