Grey's Anatomy, Season 2

Meredith:
[voiceover] To be a good surgeon you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close. But sometimes you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open.

Meredith:
Let's play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win.

Cristina:
You don't want to play with me.

Meredith:
Oh, I do. I'll even go first. Derek's married. [George spits out his beer]

Cristina:
George. Beer is dripping from your nostrils.

Meredith:
Told you I'd win.

Cristina:
No, you didn't win.

Meredith:
Did you hear me? I said Derek is married, as in pig-headed, adulterous, liar married. Nothing you could say could top that.

Cristina:
I'm pregnant. I win. [Joe, the bartender, collapses] Okay, maybe Joe wins.

Derek:
So I go upstairs, as I'm walking down the hall I'm trying to prepare myself for what I'm going to see when I go into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I think I know just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize, what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just going to see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm going to see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend. It's just so pedestrian, common and dirty, and cruel. Mostly just cruel. I left, came out here.

Meredith:
Then you met me.

Derek:
And I met you.

Meredith:
What was I to you? The girl you screwed to get over being screwed?

Derek:
You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. That's all I know.

Meredith:
It's not enough.

Meredith:
[voiceover] They say practice makes perfect. Theory is – the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one, the better you get at remaining neutral, clinical, cut, suture, close - and the harder it becomes to turn it off. To stop thinking like a surgeon, and remember what it means to think like a human being.

Cristina:
The clinic has a policy. They wouldn't let me confirm my appointment unless I designated an emergency contact person. Someone to be there just in case and... to know help me home, you know, after. Anyway I put your name down, that's why I told you I'm pregnant. You're my person.

Meredith:
I am?

Cristina:
Yeah, you are. Whatever.

Meredith:
Whatever.

Cristina:
He dumped me. [Meredith hugs Cristina] You realize this constitutes hugging?

Meredith:
Shut up, I'm your person.

Meredith[Voiceover]:
I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you would say "Say when!" My aunt would say "Say when!" and of course, we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. [...] More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better.

Meredith:
It's not us. It's them. Them and their stupid boy... penises. They didn't tell me they have a wife. They gave absolutely no warning that they were going to break up with you.

Cristina:
It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it was business. Like it was a business trans- Like he's a boss of me!

Meredith:
He is the boss of you.

Cristina:
What's worse is that I care.

Meredith:
Ugh I'm going to throw up again. [Gets up and kneels over the toilet] No. Wait. False alarm.

Cristina:
The problem is estrogen.

Meredith:
No, the problem is tequila.

Cristina:
You know I used to be all business and then he goes and gets me pregnant.

Meredith:
With his stupid boy penis.

Cristina:
Now I'm having hormone surges. He ruined me. I'm ruined! He turned me into this... fat, stupid, pregnant girl. Who cares! Estrogen!

Meredith:
Penises. Penises, Izzie.

Cristina:
Estrogen, George.

Meredith:
[brushing off Derek] I'm a sink with an open drain. Anything you say runs right out! There is no enough! [Storms off]

George:
She probably could have picked a better metaphor.

Izzie:
Give her a break, she's got a hangover.

Meredith[voiceover]:
There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. You're ten-feet tall and bulletproof. And then you leave the OR. And all that perfection, all that beautiful control, just falls to crap.

Webber:
Leave me alone. I've been sitting home for a week, watching Oprah give away things on TV. Oprah, Derek! You clear me now or I'll hurt you.

Derek:
If you want me to clear you so soon maybe you should've thought of that before you gave chief to Burke and invited Satan to Seattle.

Webber:
Satan?

Addison:
Good morning. Richard, like the hat.

Derek:
Satan speaks.

Addison:
Actually I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil. [Richard laughs] But I will answer to Satan.

Bailey:
You have a problem?

Izzie:
No.

Bailey:
You have a mocha latte?

Izzie:
No.

Bailey:
Then go away.

Alex:
You could talk, you know, I mean, if you need to.

Meredith:
I'm fine.

Alex:
You said that word so many times today, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. Just saying you can talk to me. Because, you know, even if I repeat every word you say, no one around here likes me, they'll just call me a liar and move on.

Meredith:
[voiceover] No one likes to lose control, but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning and you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. And it's scary as hell. Except if there's an upside to free-falling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.

Meredith:
[voiceover] The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces.

Derek:
Meredith kissed me. Addison kissed me. My wife and my girlfriend kissed me on the same day.

Bailey:
Joe, do I look friendly to you?

Joe:
Uh, you're a tiny little kitten of joy and love. [Bailey stares at him] What? He saved my life.

Bailey:
His first mistake. McDreamy, go sit by someone who cares.

Addison:
Well isn't this cozy. Can I join in or are you not in to threesomes?

Meredith:
I have to go.

Derek:
Meredith... [To Addison] You really are Satan, you realise that right? If Satan were to take physical form he'd be you, everywhere ... all the time.

Addison:
I'm so not Satan.

Derek:
How come you haven't gotten on your broomstick and gone back to New York where you belong?

Addison:
Stop being petty.

Derek:
Stop being an adulterous bitch.

Addison:
You know you are going to forgive me eventually, right? I mean you can't just... I mean there was a time when you thought of me as your best friend—

Derek:
There was a time where I thought you were the love of my life. Things change.

[...]

Addison:
Derek, have you ever thought that even if I am Satan and an adulterous bitch that I still might be the love of your life?

Meredith:
[voiceover] Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

Meredith:
[voiceover] Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else; makes the rest of the world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... and for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

[Cristina, Meredith and Izzie are tilting their heads, watching the porn playing for the patient]

Cristina:
That does not look comfortable.

Meredith:
Trust me, it's not.

Meredith:
[to Derek] Okay, here it is. Your choice. It's simple. Her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek... I love you... in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window... unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I'll be at Joe's tonight. So if you do decide to sign the papers meet me there.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more.

Meredith:
[voiceover] In general, people can be categorized in one of two ways those who love surprises and those who don't. I don't. I've never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because as surgeons, we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know, because when we aren't, people die and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Okay, so my point, actually, and I do have one, has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits, or even surgeons. My point is this: whoever said "What you don't know can't hurt you", was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. [Sees two people with a pole cutting through them.] Okay, fine. Maybe it's the second worst.

Burke:
Cristina, you paged me?

Cristina:
If I don't find this leg, the chief is going to cut me from this program, and I cannot go back home, Burke. It is too sunny in Los Angeles. It's sunny every day.

Burke:
You paged me because?

Cristina:
I need you to help me find the leg! I checked the board, you're not in surgery, right? You're my boyfriend! I mean, I know I don't have much experience with this kind of thing but, aren't boyfriends supposed to help in situations like this?

Burke:
Cristina, when we're on duty I can't be your boyfriend.

Cristina:
OK, so, uh, when we're on duty, I can have sex with someone else?

Burke:
[pause] Dr. Yang, I'm walking away now.

Addison:
So, have you made a decision yet, Dr. Stevens?

Izzie:
I'm sorry?

Addison:
Whether or not you're going to hate me. You're Meredith's friend? I'm the wicked witch who came in and ruined her life and cheated on Doctor... wait, what is it that you guys call him?

Izzie:
McDreamy...

Addison:
Right. God, doesn't that embarrass him?

Izzie:
Yeah, I think it does.

Addison:
Yeah, well, by all rights you should hate me.

Izzie:
I guess.

Addison:
Except that I'm going to be staying in town for a while.

Izzie:
You are?

Addison:
Yes, and you show a real gift with my specialty. And I have a lot to teach, if you want to learn. So.

Izzie:
So?

Addison:
So, when you decide how important it is for you to hate me... let me know.

Meredith:
[voiceover] As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients and how to take care of each other. Eventually, we even have to figure out how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark, because in the dark there may be fear, but there's also hope.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.

Bailey:
Turn around and walk away.

Derek:
From what?

Bailey:
From my intern.

Derek:
No, I wasn't.

Bailey:
Yes you were, come on, look, you can't do this, you don't have the right, not anymore.

Derek:
I just want to find out if she's okay.

Bailey:
She's not. She's a human traffic accident, and everybody's slowing down to look at the wreckage. She's doing the best she can with what she has left, and I know you can't see this 'cause you're in it, but YOU CAN'T HELP HER NOW! You'll only make it worse. Walk away. Leave her to mend.

Alex:
For a kiss to be real, you got to want it to mean something and you want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head. So that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss Nicole, trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person, first kiss, it's everything.

Meredith:
[voiceover] At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

Meredith:
[voiceover] In the eighth grade my English class had to read Romeo and Juliet. Then for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet... all the other girls were jealous, but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have, then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13, I was very clear that love, like life, is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it's so romantic, Romeo and Juliet, true love, how sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink the bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, she deserved whatever she got.

Bailey:
I'm pregnant, you blind moron.

Webber:
You're what?

Bailey:
My heart rate is 110, I'm burning three thousand calories a day, my legs are swollen, I got indigestion and gas. Did you know that carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn ten percent more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I'm carrying. I tried for seven damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men... from the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you. I'm not leaving. I'm pregnant.

Alex:
[referring to a patient who is removing her breasts and ovaries to prevent possible cancer] Here's the thing - I like your rack.

Izzie:
God, what is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so - what is wrong with you?

Alex:
I like your rack and I'd want them around if I could have them, trust me I would, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if you got rid of them... because really, I want you.

[Izzie slaps him]

Alex:
Ow! What was that for?

[She kisses him]

Meredith:
[voiceover] Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending... most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions fate wins anyway.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family. Happy to just to be alive. Whether we like it or not.

Cristina:
[about inviting Burke to Thanksgiving dinner] What was I supposed to do? Blow off my boyfriend for Thanksgiving? I tried to. He wouldn't blow. He's like something sticky that won't blow off.

Meredith:
I feel like one of those people who's freaking miserable they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infect the happy people. Like I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress. Your turn.

Alex:
I failed the medical boards, if I tell Izzie she'll be nice about it all, supportive and optimistic. She might as well rip my nads off and turn them into earrings.

Meredith:
Alex, you should go to Thanksgiving. I mean don't tell her, if you don't want to. But you should go. Otherwise you're just... me.

Alex:
A miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress. [Wolf whistle] Hot. That's really hot. I feel better already.

George:
[after his brother shoots his father on accident] You shot dad in the ass. Are you happy now?

Meredith:
[voiceover] Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

Meredith:
[voiceover] When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and ate it until you got sick. In college, it was the heavy combo of youth, tequila and well, you know. As a surgeon, you take as much of the good as you can get because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. 'Cause good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing.

Steve:
Meredith? You work here?

Meredith:
What are you doing here, Steve?

Steve:
I'm having a little problem.

Cristina:
Steve, Steve?

Steve:
Actually, I'm having a big problem.

[Moves his jacket to reveal his erect penis. Cristina notices and starts staring at it. Meredith doesn't notice.]

Meredith:
What?

Cristina:
[Still staring] Steve, hi! Cristina.

Steve:
Ever since you and I [Meredith follows Cristina's gaze and does a double-take]it won't go away.

Meredith:
Cristina!

Cristina:
What? It's right there, looking at me! There are so many things I could say right now — Champ!

Meredith:
[voiceover] How do you know how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask... And when is it all just too much to bear?

Meredith:
[voiceover] Forty years ago, the Beatles asked the world a simple question: they wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely, the surgical wing of hospitals. [...] As surgeons, we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that, at the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.

Bailey:
Look, these are preemies, people, they were supposed to spend another 8 weeks in the womb. Just like interns, they're not ready for the real world.

Meredith:
So, you're giving up the trailer?

Derek:
I'm not giving up the trailer. Is Addison telling people that I'm giving up the trailer?

Meredith:
It's just funny, I just never would have pegged you for that guy.

Derek:
What guy?

Meredith:
You know, the marble bath, private pool, gated community guy.

Derek:
Don't peg me. I'm not peggable.

Meredith:
You're pegged. Deal with it.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Four hundred years ago, another well-known English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire unto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in, and let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have four legs. Someone to play with, or run around with, or just hang out.

Meredith:
[voiceover] It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason that depression rates actually do spike at the holidays. [Izzie turns around and smiles at Meredith and George] Yeah, okay, Izzie doesn't count.

Burke:
I believe there's a mind-body-spirit connection. And if Justin really doesn't want this heart, his body will reject it.

Cristina:
Okay, let me get this straight. You don't just celebrate Christmas, you actually believe in Santa Claus?

George:
Paging Dr. Karev-ian [laughter]

Bailey:
What did you just say?

George:
Ah-it, it's a joke, Kevorkian, Karev-ian...Alex Karev?

Bailey:
I get the joke. I just don't think it's funny. You see this O'Malley? I make one mistake with this scalpel and this man's dead. My husband, he makes mistakes at his job all the time. As far as I know he's never killed anyone but I have. And YOU WILL. And Alex did. He made a math mistake and a man died for it. Run that past your accountant - see how he'd feel if every mistake he made, someone ended up dead. You don't have to like Alex, you don't have to care about him, but you damn well have to be on his side.

Addison:
Well, it is Christmas. Christmas, Derek, we love Christmas. At least we used to.

Derek:
[pauses] Christmas makes you want to be with people you love. [pauses] I'm not saying this to hurt you, or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you.

Meredith:
[voiceover] There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what the fates hand you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you until you're ready to go out into the world and find your tribe.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Fresh starts thanks to the calendar they happen every year — just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year, bringing on the great tradition of new year's resolutions. Put your past behind you and start over. It's hard to resist the chance of a new beginning, a chance to put the problems of last year to bed.

Meredith:
Such a good dog! Who's Mommy's good boy? You're such a good boy. [Turns and looks at Izzie and George] What are you guys doing in there, we're gonna be late.

George:
We need to talk about the dog.

Izzie:
That's not a dog, it's a hyena that escaped from the zoo, dressed in dog clothing.

George:
Whatever. I don't chew up his clothes. I don't urinate on his bed. I don't try to mount him from behind.

Meredith:
People, he's our dog. We love our dog. He loves us.

Izzie:
He tries to mount you from behind?

George:
He tries to.

Derek:
[to Addison] There is a land called Passive Agressiva, and you are their queen.

Addison:
I am fine.

Derek:
Except when you're shrieking about trout.

Addison:
I was not shrieking about trout.

Derek:
You're right, you weren't. You were shrieking about Meredith.

Addison:
No, I was shrieking about the trailer. I hate the trailer.

Derek:
Oh, okay so the past three weeks have been about the trailer.

Addison:
Yes.

Derek:
Not about the fact that I said I love Meredith.

Addison:
Loved.

Derek:
What?

Addison:
You said you loved her, past tense.

Derek:
Right, yes, past tense.

Addison:
Well, then I have been shrieking about the trailer.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It's not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event — big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.

Meredith:
[voiceover] As doctors, we're trained to be skeptical, because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is: every patient is a liar until proven honest. Lying is bad. Or so we're told constantly from birth — honesty is the best policy, the truth shall set you free, I chopped down the cherry tree, whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts.

Cristina:
We're in an elevator. That's your specialty, right? McDreamy moments in elevators?

Derek:
Dr. Yang...

Cristina:
You know what? For just a moment, I'm not Dr. Yang and you're not Dr. Shepherd. You're the guy who screwed up my friend. The guy who drove her to get a dog she can't keep, the dog she only got because her boyfriend lied to her about his wife.

Derek:
I never lied to her.

Cristina:
You know, I know a liar when I see one because I'm a liar. You want me to lie to the patient? Fine, I'll lie.

Bailey:
I may be forty-seven months pregnant. I may be on bed rest. I may not be able to see my own feet. But I am Dr. Bailey. I hear everything. I know everything. I'm watching each and every one of you. And I will return.

George:
[to Meredith]: You don't get to choose. I know you've been going through a bad time. I know you miss Shepherd. And I know that your life has, admittedly, been pretty unpleasant these days. You get points for breathing in and out. You get to be a little selfish. But you don't get to choose a dog over me... I'm George. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy your tampons. I have held your hand, every time you asked. I've earned the right to be seen. To be respected. To not have you think of me, as less than a dog that you got at the pound. So, I'm not moving out. Whether you like it or not, I'm staying.

Meredith:
[voiceover] No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth: It hurts. So we lie.

Meredith:
[voiceover] In surgery, there is a red line on the floor that marks the point where the hospital goes from being accessible to being off limits to all but a special few. Crossing the line unauthorized is not tolerated. In general, lines are there for a reason. For safety. For security. For clarity. If you choose to cross the line, you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it, that the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it?

George:
Dad's a truck driver, mom's a teacher. The evening news shows me crossing a picket line, they'll outlive me just to pee on my grave.

Webber:
We need an additional 40 nurses to relieve the overtime that they're striking about. That's 2 million dollars a year we don't have.

Derek:
Have you checked under the couch? I always find spare change under the cushions.

George:
[after Meredith and Izzie climb into his bed] What happened today?

Izzie:
Nothing.

Meredith:
Nothing.

George:
Okay.

Izzie:
We don't know everything about each other, George.

Meredith:
Yeah.

George:
True. [pause] Anybody want to have sex?

Meredith:
[voiceover] We can’t help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it's the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is, once you've crossed it's almost impossible to go back. But if you do manage to make it back across that line you find safety in numbers.

Meredith:
[voiceover] It's a look patients get in their eyes. There is a scent, the smell of death. Some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you, you feel it coming. What's the one thing you've always dreamed of doing before you die?

Cristina:
You have a feeling?

Meredith:
Yes.

Cristina:
Okay, what kind of feeling?

Meredith:
Like I might die.

Cristina:
Today? Tomorrow? In 50 years? We're all going to die eventually. Now we're late! Let's go!

Meredith:
Cristina. C'mon!

Cristina:
This is me being supportive.

Meredith:
Really?

Cristina:
Yeah, fine, I'm totally supportive. Go.

Meredith:
OK. The man I love has a wife and then he chooses her over me. And that wife takes my dog — OK, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn't mean to give it to her, I meant to give it to him — but that does not change the fact that she's got my McDreamy. And my McDog. She's got my McLife! And what have I got? [sits up] You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. 'Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever, but you don't. Plus my conditioner decided to stop working and I think I have brittle bones. I just - I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are gonna change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today.

Cristina:
[throws back blanket] Whatever - everybody has problems. Now get your ass out of bed and get to work. NOW! Move! Move! Move! [Opens the door to find Izzie and George] We're good to go.

Derek:
Bailey's back? That's excellent. [Hurries to the door but stops when he looks in the window] And her cervix is being examined by my wife, which is a, which is a visual I will never get out of my head. Thanks for the warning.

Bailey:
What are you people doing out here?

Webber:
Are you alright? Can I get you anything?

Bailey:
A boy the size of a 10 lb. bowling ball is working its way out of my body. Can you get me something for that? Can you get me a new vagina?

Webber:
Uh, well.

Bailey:
I didn't think so.

Izzie:
Alex.

Alex:
How crazy is this? Dude, it's like the Apocalypse.

Izzie:
Alex.

Alex:
It's true. Look around you. Half the people who're supposed to be saving lives have fled the building to save themselves. Bailey's husband almost died coming to see his kid getting born. The annoying twins are down on the OR floor with the guy who literally explode in their faces. It's a morgue. Just saying, people should get while the getting's good because there might not be a tomorrow.

Izzie:
Alex!

Alex:
What?

[Cut to the supply closet]

Izzie:
Take off your pants.

Alex:
Izzie, what are you doing?

Izzie:
I'm being a doer. Getting while the getting's good. Now take off your pants.

Alex:
You realize when I said the apocalypse, I meant it metaphorically, not literally.

Izzie:
Alex, I haven't had sex in eight months and twelve days. I'm horny, I'm half-naked, and I'm saying yes. Do you want to stand there and talk metaphors, or do you want to literally take off your pants?

Meredith:
[voiceover] In hospitals they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there's a scent, a smell of death. Some say there's just some kind of sixth sense, when the great beyond is heading for you, you feel it coming. Whatever it is, it's creepy. Because if you know, what do you do about it? Forget about the fact that you're scared out of your mind. If you knew this was your last day on earth, how would you want to spend it?

Meredith:
Cristina. I have my hand on a bomb. I'm freaking out. And most importantly, I really have to pee. Tell me anything.

Cristina:
He told me he loved me. Last night, he thought I was sleeping, but I heard him say it.

Meredith:
Burke loves you.

Cristina:
Yeah. [To Dylan] Mind your own business.

Meredith:
Burke loves you!

Cristina:
Yeah everybody has problems.

Meredith:
Well are you gonna say it back, or-

Cristina:
Of course not! He didn't say it to me, he said it to sleeping me! Reciprocity is not required. Besides he might blow up.

Meredith:
Excellent point.

[the gurney hits a bump in the floor]

Dylan:
Alright everybody. Let's just keep placing one foot in front of the other. [gives Cristina an 'I told you so' look] Nice and slow. Alright, Meredith? We're almost there.

Meredith:
Okay.

Dylan:
We're almost there. Nice and easy, ready? Alright let's go. Nice and slow.

Cristina:
You had to say you were going to die today.

Meredith:
I told you.

George:
Dr. Bailey, I can see the top of his head. He's got a lot of hair. Oh, he's cute.

Bailey:
O'Malley!

George:
Yeah?

Bailey:
Stop looking at my vah-jay-jay!

George:
[looking away] Yes, ma'am.

Meredith:
Hey.

Derek:
Hey. You almost died today.

Meredith:
Yeah, I almost died today. [Derek is at a loss for words and starts heading to the door] I can't, I can't remember our last kiss. All I could think about was I'm going to die today and I can't remember our last kiss. Which, is pathetic but the last time we were together and happy, I... want to be able to remember that, and I can't, Derek. I can't remember.

Derek:
I'm glad you didn't die today. [Starts to leave but stops] It was a Thursday morning, you were wearing that ratty little 'Dartmouth' T-shirt you look so good in, the one with the hole at the back of the neck. You'd just washed you hair and you smelled like some kind of... flower. I was running late for surgery, you said you were going to see me later, and you lean to me, put you hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it everyday for the rest of our lives. And you went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed. [Derek starts to leave]

Meredith:
Lavender. My hair smelled like lavender... from my conditioner.

Derek:
Lavender. Huh. [Smiles then leaves]

Meredith:
[voiceover] If you knew this was your last day on earth, how would you want to spend it?

Meredith:
[voiceover] After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown-up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us to truly, once and for all, become an adult, your mother says something like that. Or worse, something like that. We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But, for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.

Webber:
Punching out people on my surgical floor! My head of neurosurgery punching out people on my surgical floor!

Addison:
Put the ice pack on your hand.

Derek:
My hand is fine!

Webber:
Put the damn ice on your two million dollar a year hand! Now, would someone tell me what the hell happened?

Addison:
That was Mark.

Webber:
Who's Mark?

Addison:
He and Derek used to work together back in New York. And, um, they, we, were all close friends. Until Derek found us in bed together.

Webber:
Did you put your weight behind it?

Derek:
Yes sir.

Webber:
Well, all right then.

George:
Why is he suturing his own face?

Cristina:
To turn me on.

Alex:
Because he's Mark Sloan, he's like the go-to plastic surgeon on the east coast.

George:
That's the guy Addison was sleeping with?

Izzie:
You can't really blame her, can you?

Cristina:
No, not really.

George:
Yes, you can.

Meredith:
McSexy wants an X-ray to check for fractures and I think it's a bad idea if I take him.

George:
Why? Why?

Alex:
I'm on it.

George:
Why's it a bad idea?

Cristina:
McSexy?

Meredith:
No?

Izzie:
McYummy?

Meredith and Cristina:
No.

Meredith:
McSteamy.

Cristina:
Aw, there it is.

Izzie:
Yep.

George:
Just choking back some... McVomit.

Izzie:
You know when you don't have sex for a while, you sorta forget how good it is, and you don't really need it as much?

George:
Yeah, that doesn't happen to guys.

Izzie:
It's like a beast, a beast that was asleep, for a long, long time, and now the beast is wide awake and wants to be fed and the food, that Alex gave it, was... It was good food George.

George:
Something needs to be done about your taste.

Meredith:
[voiceover] I've heard that it’s possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friends, in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope.

George:
[voiceover] Okay, so, sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're going to regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean, maybe not regret, regret because at least, you know, we put ourselves out there. But... still. Something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet, we do it anyway. [...] What I'm saying is... we reap what we sow. What comes around goes around. It's karma and, any way you slice it... karma sucks. Like I was saying, payback's a bitch.

Izzie:
[about Alex] What? So I slept with him again. So I'm a big whore. A big horny whore who can't get enough. Can we get over the shocked silence already?

George:
Really? I guess I just think I believe in Karma. You know I mean good people deserve good things. At least that's how I thought the universe worked.

Cristina:
How can you think that and practice medicine?

George:
Why... I'm not saying that everybody who gets sick or everybody who dies is bad. I'm just saying that, uh, I think that there's a balance. Or there should be balance! I should...there should be some sort of balance. That's...

Burke:
Good god, O'Malley, what the hell did Grey do to you?

Alex:
All right. So you slept with O'Malley. Get over it already.

Meredith:
He told you?

Alex:
Uh, no. [Laughs] I was just kidding! I means it's not like I should be surprised.

Meredith:
Why not?

Alex:
Because when your life is sucky, you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men. It's your thing. Whatever. I find it charming.

Meredith:
You sleep with inappropriate women when you're sober.

Alex:
One inappropriate woman. And Izzie forgave me for that. O'Malley is not going to get over this.

Meredith:
Izzie hasn't forgiven you!

Alex:
Yes, she has. We're together.

Meredith:
No you're not. Izzie may be sleeping with you, but she'll never see you the way she saw you before you slept with Olivia.

Alex:
Why are you trying to piss me off?

Meredith:
You're trying to suggest that it's forgivable for you to sleep with Olivia, but not forgivable for me to sleep with George.

[George walks in]

George:
You told him?!

Meredith:
George!

George:
Wow, when I'm wrong about someone.

Meredith:
No, I...

George:
I am REALLY wrong!

Meredith:
No, George! It's not... it's not what you think!

Alex:
Dude! Chill!

George:
You chill! You chill! I'm not... I'm not going to chill.

Meredith:
George, I...

Izzie:
What's going on?

Alex:
The fetus is freaking out.

Izzie:
I can see that! Why are freaking out?

George:
You think someone is your friend. [Cristina walks in] You know? And you think at the very least you'd respect my privacy!

Cristina:
What's going on?

Alex:
Baby boy is freaking out.

Izzie:
She can see that.

Cristina:
I can see that.

Cristina and Izzie:
Why is he freaking out?

Meredith:
George, can we at least talk?

George:
I don't want to talk! Not to you! I wanted to keep my mouth shut. And if you hadn't been running away from me every time you see me, you would know that!

Meredith:
Okay, you're right, but can we just talk now?

George:
You want to talk now, because you told everyone that we had sex!

Izzie:
You had sex?

Cristina:
You had sex with George?

George:
You didn't tell them?

Meredith:
No.

George:
DAMMIT! [trips and falls down stairwell]

George:
[voiceover] One way or another our karma will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind. One way or another, our karma will always find us. And the truth is, as surgeons, we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor. No matter how hard we try we can't escape our karma. It follows us home. I guess we can't really complain about karma. It's not unfair. It's not unexpected. It just... evens the score. And even when we're about to do something we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass... well, it goes without saying. We do it anyway.

Meredith:
[voiceover] As doctors, patients are always telling us how they would do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and send me home. It's easy to suggest a quick solution, when you don't know much about the problem or when you don't understand the underlying cause or just how deep the wound really is. The first step toward a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But that's not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that landed us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix.

Meredith:
[voiceover] As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts. And knocks you off your feet. If you're lucky, you'll end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band-aid will cover. But, some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe, and give them time to heal.

Meredith:
[voiceover] My college campus has a magic statue. It's a longstanding tradition for students to rub its nose for good luck. My freshman roommate really believed in the statue's power and insisted on visiting it to rub its nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea, she flunked out at sophomore year. The fact is, we all have little superstitious things that we do. If it's not believing in magic statues, it's avoiding sidewalk cracks or always putting our left shoe on first. Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mothers back. The last thing we want to do is offend the gods.

Derek:
Juju.

Addison:
Yep.

Derek:
You juju'ed Meredith.

Addison:
I did, in the spirit of friendship.

Derek:
Hmmm.

Addison:
What, are we not being friends with Meredith anymore?

Derek:
No, no, we are. Meredith and I are friends.

Addison:
And you and I are married. So then by proxy, Meredith and I are friends.

Derek:
That's very big of you.

Addison:
Yeah.

Derek:
You don't have to do that. It’s not like I'm going to be friends with... let's say... Mark.

Addison:
Yeah, well, neither am I. Now finish your juju before somebody else dies.

Cristina:
Great. No blood, no guts, no lives to save. It's dead quiet.

Bailey:
Uh, did you really just say that?

Izzie:
Cristina!

Cristina:
What?

George:
You said the "q" word.

Izzie:
That's like saying Macbeth in the theatre.

Cristina:
Please. You think because someone says its quiet that'll mean---

[All hell breaks loose] [...]

Cristina:
Can anyone spell coincidence?

Meredith:
[voiceover] Superstition lies in the space between what we can control and what we can't. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck, but does saying it thirty three times really help? Is anyone really listening? And if no ones listening, why do we bother doing those strange things at all? We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers. And that life works in mysterious ways. Don't diss the juju, from wherever it comes.

Meredith:
[voiceover] A good basketball game can have us all on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, pain and the play by play. And then there are the more solitary games. The games we each play all by ourselves. The social games, the mind games, we use them to pass the time to make life more interesting to distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games, any games. And there are those of us who love to play a little too much.

Alex:
So this whole lying thing, this is working out for you?

Beatrice:
Excuse me?

Alex:
You're going to die and soon. You get that, right? There's no rosy picture to paint here.

Beatrice:
You're not a mother. You don't know what its like to hold your newborn baby in your arms and smell the top of her head. And know your only job in the world is to protect her.

Alex:
You think you're protecting her?

Beatrice:
I am protecting her.

Alex:
Well, I guess you can call it what you want. But you should just know you're leaving behind a kid that will probably hate you the rest of her life.

Burke:
Ahem... Dr. Karev.

Alex:
No, I'm talking this time.

Burke:
Excuse me?

Alex:
I tell the truth. It's what I do. It doesn't make me a bad doctor. Everyone walks around this place lying. Look we tell the patient that's dying that there's hope when there is no hope. Maybe I'm a pig, maybe I'm an ass, and maybe I'm a varmint like everybody says. But I tell them the truth. It's the one thing that I've got going for me. And you don't get to take that away from me and call it a lesson. Sir.

Meredith:
[voiceover] Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose, or draw, the game is in progress, whether we want it to be or not. So go ahead argue with the refs, change the rules, cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds. But play. Play. Play hard, play fast, play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. [pause] Okay, so it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game... right?

Meredith:
[voiceover] The key to being a successful intern is what we give up: sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment, that moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon. There are days that make the sacrifices seem worthwhile. And then there are the days where everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are the sacrifices that you can't even figure out why you're making.

Izzie:
Make her seize? How do we make someone have a seizure?

Derek:
Well do your research, get creative.

George:
But if all the normal methods have failed then... what are we supposed to do?

Derek:
Use a strobe-light, get her drunk, hang her from the ceiling upside down and hit her with a wiffle bat for all I care, okay? Just make her seize, because until she seizes I don't know what to operate. And if I don't know what to operate, I can't get this woman out of my life. And this woman is now how I like to start my mornings.

Meredith [voiceover]:
A wise man once said – "You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it." What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming. [...] When we don’t have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us, and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear.

Meredith:
[voiceover] We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves, to other people. [...] The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we've done, or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see.

Cristina:
People! What's with all the evil misery? Huh? Live, and let live.

George:
You're cheerful.

Cristina:
Oh.

Izzie:
You are. How is that possible?

Cristina:
I scrubbed in on a four hour paraesophageal last night, then I got laid. And now three ambulances are coming in full of bloody, broken car crash victims, all who need to be cut open. So I'm cheery, I'm cheery, I am so cheery! I'm cheery! I'm cheerful!

Meredith:
I never should have told you about George.

Derek:
No, it's fine. I'm glad I know about him. And the vet. You really get around.

Meredith:
What did you just say to me?

Derek:
It's unforgivable.

Meredith:
I don't remember ever asking you to forgive me.

Derek:
So was the knitting a phase? Who's next? Alex? Cause I hear he likes to sleep around. You two have that in common.

[Derek goes to leave. Meredith grabs him and he turns around]

Meredith:
You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done, so all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues. Who cared, because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore.

Derek:
This thing with us is finished. It's over.

Meredith:
Finally.

Derek:
Yeah. It's done.

Meredith:
It is done.

[Derek walks off, leaving Meredith alone. She begins to break down as she leaves]

Meredith:
[voiceover] We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us, more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grownups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can.

Meredith:
[voiceover] In life we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones... gluttony, pride, lust. But the sin you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger's not that dangerous. That you can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior, it did make the top seven.

Denny:
Izzie! Izzie, stop and listen to me. We're not doing this.

Izzie:
Don't worry. You're not gonna die. I will be here the whole time to make sure of that. And that's what this stuff is for.

Denny:
This isn't about me dying. Alright? This is wrong.

Izzie:
You've waited a year and a half to get this thing. Who knows when the next one is going to come along.

Denny:
I'll take my chances.

Izzie:
No. It may be too late by then.

Denny:
Then it's too late. Alright. Now get this stuff out of here!

Izzie:
Denny, please. You have to do this.

Denny:
No, Izzie! I'm not about to steal a heart from another man's chest! Not to mention, this'll be the end of your medical career.

Izzie:
I don't care about my medical career.

Denny:
Alright, you know what? This has gone on long enough. I'm gonna call a nurse.

Izzie:
Everyone who is entered into the transplant program is clocked in to the second. To the second, Denny. You were clocked into the second and so was the other guy, I checked with UNOS. The difference between when you entered the program and when he entered the program is 17 seconds. That's it Denny. 17 seconds. I mean, it's not even the length of a decent kiss. So this other guy, I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve this heart. I'm sure he does, but so do you! So do you. And if you tell me anymore crap about heading towards the light or looking down on me from heaven I swear I will kill you myself right now!

Denny:
Izzie... I'm gonna be alright. Alright? You don't have to worry.

Izzie:
What about me? What about me when you go to the light?

Denny:
Izzie...

Izzie:
[beginning to cry] No, I get it! OK? I get it! You'll be OK, you'll be fine, but what about me? So don't do it for yourself, do it for me! Please! Please Denny! Please do this for me! Because if you die, oh God, you have to do this! You have to do this for me or I'll never be able to forgive you!

Denny:
For dying?

Izzie:
No! For making me love you! Please! Please do this for me, OK? Please? OK, I can't do this if you don't! Please do this for me, cause if you don't, please?

Denny:
OK. OK, I'll do it.

Derek:
What do you want from me, Addison?

Addison:
I want you to care. I sleep with your best friend, and you walk away. He comes out here from New York and rubs it in your face, and still you get a good night's sleep. What do I have to do? Oh, I know. Maybe what I should do is go out on a date with the vet because that seems to be something that sends you into a blind rage. Oh but wait, that won't work either because I'm not Meredith Grey!

[They realize they have an audience, including Meredith]

Addison:
I know what you're going to say Richard, but if you knew the day that I had.

Webber:
Everybody in this hospital has those days, Addison and no one makes a scene in front of their peers. Get it together. Addison...

Addison:
I can't compete. He's not having an affair. He's not trying to hurt me. He's just...huh. [laughs] The only people who don't know that Derek loves Meredith are Derek and Meredith. How do I compete with that?

Meredith:
[voiceover] So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really, you give into a sin like envy or pride and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and probably one or two others. But anger, anger is the worst. The mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does you can take an awful lot of other people with you.

[voiceover]

Meredith:
Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive.

George:
Family...

Cristina:
Love...

Izzie:
Sex.

Derek:
But we only need one thing...

Burke:
To actually be alive.

Cristina:
We need a beating heart.

Addison:
When our heart is threatened...

Alex:
We respond in one of two ways.

George:
We either run...

Derek:
Or...

Izzie:
We attack.

Webber:
There's a scientific term for this:

Alex:
Fight...

Addison:
Or flight.

Bailey:
It's instinct...

Meredith:
We can't control it.

Izzie:
Or can we?

Bailey:
Where is Christina? Where are... where are all of the suck ups?

Burke:
Excuse me?

Bailey:
My interns. My ass-kissing, surgery hungry, competitive suck ups? Where are they? Why aren't they here fetching you ice chips and morphine? Why aren't they here sucking up? [Burke avoids her eyes and doesn't respond] You know something.

Burke:
I'm a patient.

Bailey:
Preston Xavier Burke, what have you done with my suck ups?!

Denny:
What? You like your men sick and feeble? You don't dig healthy guys?

Izzie:
[laughs] I dig you.

Denny:
Then why are you all swirly and twitchy?

Izzie:
No I'm not.

Denny:
Yeah, you're swirly and twitchy. It's 'cause I asked you to marry me.

Izzie:
So you remember that?

Denny:
It's not the kind of thing I'd forget.

Izzie:
Yeah. Look, Denny, um, I'm giving you an out.

Denny:
Excuse me?

Izzie:
Well, I'm giving you an out. I mean, you thought you were dying and I was saving your life and, you know, everything was so... So, I won't hold it against you, or be hurt and offended if you want to take your proposal back, I mean giving you an out.

Denny:
I don't want an out.

Izzie:
You should take the out. We can't get married. I mean that would be crazy, insane. We should date, and have sex. Plenty of sex. You know when your heart gets better and you're out of the hospital, all the sex you can handle. But marriage is, um, marriage, I mean...

Denny:
Okay, it's my turn now.

Izzie:
But I need to...

Denny:
No, no. We're taking turns. I've decided. It's polite and it keeps me from yelling. When it's your turn again, you can talk. [pause] For five years, I've had to live by the choices of my doctors. The guys that cut me open decided my life, there wasn't one choice that was mine. And now, I have this heart that beats and works. I get to be like everybody else, I get to make my own decisions, have my own life, do whatever the damn hell I choose. Now here's the good part, so you listen close. What I choose is you. You're who I want to wake up with and go to bed with and do everything in between with. I get a choice now. I get to choose. I choose you, Izzie Stevens. OK, it's your turn again.

Webber:
[one on one meeting with Cristina] I know your type. You're a surgical junkie.

Cristina:
Yes, sir.

Webber:
I'm just saying, it's not going to be easy for you to be away from the OR that long.

Cristina:
No, sir.

Webber:
And if you want to get back to the OR, you're gonna tell me what I need to know, aren't you?

Cristina:
You're right, it's not easy for me to be away from the OR. And it's not easy for me to sit in front of you, or any other authority figure for that matter, and not be able to give you the exact answer you want to hear. I'm the one with the answers. I've always been the one with the answers. But right now sir, I don't have any.

Webber:
Dr. Yang.

Cristina:
How do you keep your edge sir? Because I've watch you and you've been doing this a long time and you're clean, you're focused, you are the job, nothing gets to you. And the thing is sir, I was like that, until I got here. Until I actually started doing this job and now everything is, is fuzzy...

Webber:
That's beside the point.

Cristina:
No see sir, this is the point. Because I can't tell you what happened in that room, I can't tell you. And before I could have, no guilt, no loyalties, no problem. Before, before I wouldn't have even been in that room. I wouldn't have gotten involved. I would have never frozen in surgery. And I would have told him what I thought he should do. I had an edge, sir. I had an edge and I've lost it, and I need it. I need it back. [tearing up] So, if you could just tell me, how you keep yours and how not to be affected, I know I could be a great surgeon. So if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it.

Webber:
You're excused Dr. Yang.

Cristina:
But...

Webber:
You're excused.

Cristina:
I'll tell you, I'll tell you who cut the LVAD wires, sir, if you'll please...

Webber:
No you won't, I don't want to know. Not from you. Yeah, I have the answers, but I can't tell them to you. I'm not going to be responsible for you becoming less human.

George:
What happened?

Olivia:
I didn't know what to do. I didn't think you guys would want me to go to the chief, but...

Cristina:
Where is she?

Olivia:
She's in there with him.

[They walk in to see Izzie lying in bed with Denny]'

Cristina:
Izzie...

Izzie:
I think it was a stroke. He was prone to blood clots. A clot could have formed on his sutures, traveled to his brain, it only takes a second.

Meredith:
Izz...

Izzie:
Dr. Hahn did a beautiful job on the surgery. But I don't know why I didn't think of blood clots. He died all alone. He was alone.

George:
There is nothing you could have done.

Izzie:
I changed my dress three times. I wanted to look nice. I would have been here sooner. But I couldn't figure out which dress to wear.

George:
Izzie, we shouldn't be in here.

Meredith:
Izz, there are things that they need, they need to move him.

Izzie:
Take him to the morgue.

Cristina:
You can't stay here, I know you want to...

Izzie:
Can you please, please, just get out? I want to be alone with Denny.

Alex:
Izzie, that's not Denny.

Izzie:
Shut up.

Alex:
Izz, it's not Denny. The minute his heart stopped beating he stopped being Denny. Now I know you love him, but he also loved you. And a guy that loves you like that, he doesn't want you to do this to yourself. Because it's not Denny, not anymore.

Izzie:
An hour ago he was proposing. And now... and now he's going to the morgue. Isn't that ridiculous? Isn't it the most ridiculous piece of crap you've ever...

[Izzie starts sobbing. Alex picks her up, cradling her and sits down on a chair holding and rocking her while she sobs]