Homicide: Life on the Street, Season 2

Ellison:
The instant they pulled the trigger I lost my wife, but I joined a club. It's a very exclusive club. But the funny thing about the club is that none of the members want to belong. It's like some sort of secret society where only the initiated can recognize the other members.

Ellison:
There's thousands of us. And it's growing every year. We all end up talking to some poor Homicide detective like you and we all ask "Why me?". The truth is it's not "Why me?" anymore. It's "When me?"

Felton:
Marvin, you have the right to remain silent, although personally I don't feel remaining silent is all that it's cracked up to be.

Bolander:
Why is it when a guy leaves 5 drops of coffee painting the bottom of the pot, he thinks he's immune from brewing a fresh pot of coffee?

Felton:
Sorry.

Bolander:
I mean, everybody is lookin' to duck something.

Felton:
I said I was sorry.

Bolander:
Why when you go in the john, there's always one piece of toilet paper stuck to the roll? Cause some guy thinks that if he technically didn't finish it, he's not responsible for replacing it?

Munch:
Society is based on technicalities. It's the hallmark of late capitalism, Stanley. Figure it out.

Bolander:
Same thing with milk.

Felton:
Stan, I'm brewing more coffee.

Bolander:
How come every time I open that refrigerator, there's one drop of milk left in the carton? So who has to go to the 7-11 and replace the carton of milk?

Munch:
Me.

Bolander:
That's besides the point. He's doing that on my behalf. He could be doing something else for me.

Lewis:
You go when it's time to go, and all the rest is homicide.

Pembleton:
You know, being cops, I kind of hoped they'd be better liars.

Pembleton:
[Having persuaded an innocent man to confess to a crime he didn't commit on Giardello's urges] He would have stood a better chance in the back of a paddywagon with the jackboots and clubs. He would have gotten a fair shake.

Munch:
You know, Stanley, this woman, you gotta respect her. Why she goes out with you, I'll never know. As far as I'm concerned, your good fortune hangs right there with the great mysteries of life, right alongside the whereabouts of the lost tribes of Israel and the true meaning to the lyrics of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

Munch:
Say what you will about Judas, but he had his good points. If it wasn't for him, the whole show wouldn't have gotten under way in the first place.

Munch:
We have the city of Angels, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, The city of Brotherly Love, and now, Baltimore, City of the Broken-Hearted. She asked me to marry her. Twice. She asked me. But I love Felicia beyond the immediate moment. I love her for all of eternity and so I know, she's too young. I tell her and here I see you, dallying with Linda. It is Linda, isn't it? My heart sinks to the floor to see your youth. Your fleeting youth. Come autumn, and autumn does come, doesn't it, Kay? You'll be sitting in that big bay window of yours...

Howard:
What bay window?

Munch:
Some other window you got. Whatever looks out onto the street.

Howard:
Oh.

Munch:
The rains will be falling; those first hard, vicious rains of the season and you'll wonder what exactly it was that broke you and Danvers up...

Danvers:
Wait a minute.

Munch:
You know what I'm saying Danvers. I can tell by your tone of voice, you know. You've been in that window, looking down, haven't you? Everyone will be outside, holding hands, being in love, and you'll wonder why you and Danvers are now just good friends. And you'll be standing somewhere by yourself, and there will be that song, that song. Doesn't matter when you hear it, when it comes on, it'll make you think of all those silly little things you did together. You'll break up, get back together, break up, get back together... Call it off for good, find yourself sitting up in bed next to her on one last desperate evening saying to yourself, I miss her. And she's laying in bed next to you thinking the same thing about you...

Bolander:
Munch, if you don't shut up and shut up fast, I'll gut ya.

Munch:
Truth hurts; doesn't it, Stanley?

Howard:
Life is so depressing. Love is hopeless.

Danvers:
C'mon, Kay. I'll take you home.

Howard:
No, Ed. I need to be alone tonight. Goodnight.

Danvers:
Thanks a lot, Munch.

Bolander:
C'mon, Linda. Let's go too. [to Munch] I'll deal with you in the morning, and don't look forward to it.

Pembleton:
Listen, let me tell you something. We're all guilty of something, cruelty, or greed, or, or going 65 in a 55 mile per hour zone. But you know what? You wanna think about yourself as the fair-haired choir boy? You go AHEAD.

Bayliss:
All right. Okay, so, uh, what are you saying, huh?

Pembleton:
I'm saying you got a darkness, you, Tim Bayliss, you got a darkness inside of you. You gotta know the darker, uglier sides of yourself. You gotta recognize them, so that they're not constantly sneaking up on you. You gotta LOVE 'EM, 'cause they're part of you, because along with your virtues, they make you who you are. Virtue isn't virtue unless it slams up against vice. So consequently, your virtue's not real virtue. Until it's been tested. . . tempted.

Crosetti:
Either it's murder, or this library has a very strict overdue policy.

Lewis:
[Crosetti thinks a shooting death is a suicide] There's no note.

Crosetti:
Maybe he wasn't the literary type.

Munch:
Maybe I'll just get a van and drive all around this country and wherever that van breaks down, I'll just throw open the back door and perform puppet shows!

Howard:
Most of the people who kill are men, and most of the people who get killed are men. I'm surrounded by men solving crimes by men.

Munch:
Where's my old Stanley?

Giardello:
Oh my god...

Munch:
I can't wake up in the morning, I can't face the day unless I know he's gonna be more miserable than me! The whole world's outta whack, G! You gotta do something!

Giardello:
Like what?

Munch:
Order him to be miserable again!

Giardello:
Aw, stop it...

Munch:
Look Boss, it's for his own good, it's a safety issue, the guy's DANCING IN TRAFFIC... there's gotta be something in the books to forbid happiness... it's UNPROFESSIONAL!