Inspector Morse, Series 2 (1987–8)

Theodore Kemp:
Hm?

Wench:
(slightly irritatedly and in a stage whisper) You're wanted on the 'phone!

Morse:
And YOU the married man (!)

Lewis:
Ah, I don't mean THAT. You've a one-track mind, you!

Morse:
Yes, I want to know who killed Theodore Kemp.

Morse:
(laughs)

Lewis:
Aahh, you don't want us to do my back in again do you ?

Morse:
You do what you like Lewis. I'm going to stay and look at the water for a while.

Lewis:
(gently mocking) You. Water?

Morse:
If anybody wants me, they'll find me looking at fish. Through the bottom of a beer glass!

Chief Supt. Strange:
Are we having a depression?

Morse:
Yes, but I've still got it on cassette!

Morse:
Mr. Craven was at a lodge-meeting - fifteen minutes away from Clare Baines - with a list of witnesses as long as your arm. And as you know the Masonic arm is very long indeed!

Lewis:
It is, for you!

Lewis:
You forget one thing, Sir. Sex.

Lewis:
It's about time I bought you a pint

Morse:
It's long overdue, Lewis ... long overdue.

Episode 4 the Wolvercote Tongue [2.4]:
Morse: And the rich do so hate answering questions!

Episode 4 the Wolvercote Tongue [2.4]:
Serving Wench: (making a grand gesture) A messenger attends without, My Lord!

Episode 4 the Wolvercote Tongue [2.4]:
Lewis: (commenting on Mrs Downs): Fine woman, that! Full of life!

Episode 4 the Wolvercote Tongue [2.4]:
Morse: People's lives, Lewis. People's lives. And loves. It was love's old sweet song all along!

Episode 4 the Wolvercote Tongue [2.4]:
Lewis: I think I'll just pop down and see Aunt Cissy.

Episode 5 Last Seen Wearing [2.5]:
Morse: Have you ever thought about the person who designed the sports skirt? Somebody sat down and drew a fantasy and made it compulsory uniform. I can never watch Wimbledon without thanking that man.

Episode 5 Last Seen Wearing [2.5]:
Morse: No, ...we are NOT having a depression!

Episode 5 Last Seen Wearing [2.5]:
Max: Think of it like losing your finest recording of the 'Ring Cycle'

Episode 5 Last Seen Wearing [2.5]:
Mr. Craven: It's time to get your shoes dirty!

Episode 5 Last Seen Wearing [2.5]:
Chief Supt. Strange: I'm the Superintendent. If one of my officers orders a constable to bring him whisky in a coffee-mug, I get to hear about it. It's my job!

Episode 5 Last Seen Wearing [2.5]:
Lewis: What about Mr. Craven?

Episode 6 the Settling of the Sun [2.6]:
Morse: Beer is food

Episode 7 Last Bus to Woodstock [2.7]:
Morse: Go home, Lewis. Kiss your children. See your wife

Episode 7 Last Bus to Woodstock [2.7]:
Max: You can have a good relationship with a corpse

Episode 7 Last Bus to Woodstock [2.7]:
Morse: Cat got your tongue, Lewis? Getting all too much for you, is it? A coded letter; stolen money; violence.

Episode 7 Last Bus to Woodstock [2.7]:
Morse: Let's get out of here. I hate the smell of hospitals