Justice League, Season 1

B. Allen Carter:
Would you look at that. A little slice of heaven.

Ed Reiss:
If your idea of heaven is a barren, lifeless rock.

J. Allen Carter:
You have the soul of a poet.

Ed Reiss: Carter, we didn't come for the viewers. Our mission here is purely scientific. Are you getting any readings?

J. Allen Carter:
No detectable level of H20...hold on.

Ed Reiss:
What?

J. Allen Carter:
Could be an ice crystal. No. It almost looks organic.

Ed Reiss:
Carter, look out! Carter! Carter, do you read me? Are you alright? Repeat! Carter, do you read me?

J. Allen Carter:
I'm okay Ed. Ed? Come in Ed! [static] Dead.

Superman:
Medicine! He needs helps.

Medic:
[wheezing a stretches over to where Superman is landing] What happened?

Superman:
I'm not sure. [Superman lays Batman, unconsciously, on a stretcher and flies away. The medic takes his pulse, then reaches for his mask.]

Batman:
[grabbing her waist] Don't even think about it.

Martian Manhunter:
I came to warn you, but I was captured and imprisoned. They wouldn't listen.

Batman:
Big surprise.

Martian Manhunter:
I sense you don't trust me. Perhaps this will help. [after changing to a more human form] I am J'onn J'onzz.

[He offers his hand to Batman, who just stands there.]

Superman:
Don't take it personally, J'onn. He doesn't trust anyone.

Martian Manhunter:
[dryly] A wise policy.

Flash:
Whoa! Where have you been all my life?

Wonder Woman:
Themyscira.

Flash:
Huh?

Hawkgirl:
The home of the Amazons. I always thought it was merely a legend.

Wonder Woman:
I assure you, it's as real as the ground on which we stand on. I am Diana, Princess of the Amazons.

Flash:
Pinch me, I must be dreaming. [Superman elbows him] Ow!

Wonder Woman:
Themyscira is protected by the gods. But I could not idly stand by when the rest of the world is in danger.

Superman:
It was lucky you showed up when you did.

Martian Manhunter:
No. Not luck. I telepathically summoned them.

Flash:
Look, I'm usually pretty quick on the uptake, but would someone please tell me, what the heck is going on here? [Everyone looks at him]

Wonder Woman:
So, J'onn J'onzz, you came from Mars to warn us?

Flash:
This is just too weird.

Green Lantern:
I've seen stranger things.

Flash:
What's the problem? Can't you just whip up another batch of that nerve gas?

Martian Manhunter:
Unfortunately, no. The gas can only be made from a rare Martian plant. I brought a sample with me, but it was destroyed when I was captured.

Flash:
Uh, what's Plan B?

Wonder Woman:
We'll have to take out those factories.

Green Lantern:
Lady, this is no job for amateurs.

Wonder Woman:
We Amazons are warriors born! Want to test me?

Superman:
Lets not fight among ourselves. John, we're going to need all the help we can get.

Green Lantern:
Fine. Sorry, "your highness". Tactically, we'll have multiple objectives. We'll need to split into teams.

Flash:
Dibs on the Amazon! [cut to Flash and Green Lantern] You are no fun!

Green Lantern:
This isn't supposed to be fun. We've got a job to do. We'll do it better without distractions. Understood?

Flash:
Yeah, yeah. I hear you.

Superman:
Are you always so eager to fight?

Hawkgirl:
My homeworld, Thanagar, is a war-like world. There, one must strike first or die.

Imperium:
You're hiding something. A secret in the recesses of your mind. Is this another of your Martian tricks?

Martian Manhunter:
Do I sense fear?

[The League is in the watchtower for the first time.]

Superman:
[looking out the window] Incredible...Do your stockholders know about this Bruce?

Batman:
A line item hidden in the aerospace R&D budget.

Superman:
I once thought I could protect the world by myself, but I was wrong. Working together, we saved the planet, and I believe that if we stay together as a team, we could be a force that could truly work for the ideals of peace and justice.

The Flash:
What, like a bunch of... super friends?

Superman:
More like a Justice League.

The Flash:
You have no idea how corny that sounds. But maybe the big guy's got a point. With all of us behind it, it just might work. Count me in.

Green Lantern:
Me too.

Hawkgirl :
And me.

Wonder Woman:
My mother may not approve, but I found Man's World to be quite intriguing. I'll gladly join.

Batman:
I'm not really a people person. But, when you need help - and you will - call me.

Martian Manhunter:
Wonder Woman is on another case, Superman's dealing with an earthquake and Batman would only say that he's "busy".

Hawkgirl:
Typical.

[Hawkgirl has just critically damaged an attacking ship]

Superman:
Hawkgirl!

Hawkgirl:
What? [Superman flies off to prevent the ship from crashing] Oh, that.

[Flash catches Hawkgirl after getting thrown]

Flash:
Aren't you gonna thank me?

Hawkgirl:
Down, boy.

Flash:
Asking the fastest man alive to slow things down? Won't be easy.

Third Judge:
We don't want any doubt about our final judgement, do we?

Second Judge:
No, we don't. But who will speak for John Stewart?

Flash:
Don't you have any lawyers here?

Chief Judge:
We solved our lawyer problem a long time ago.

Third Judge:
However, you could speak for him, if you wish.

Second Judge:
But be aware, if you lose, you'll share the same penalty as the accused.

Flash:
The same penalty? You mean... that's crazy!

Chief Judge:
No, that's how we solved our lawyer problem.

Flash:
[buying time defending Green Lantern] Ahem. Right. Sure. But first, I'd like to say a few words about... about habeus corpus. Yeah, habeus corpus! And ipso... facto! Phi Beta Kappa!... [still defending Green Lantern] Have you asked yourself, "why this rush to judgment?" If the ring wasn't lit, you must acquit, and furthermore...

Flash:
Uh, looks like we've got a surprise witness.

Prosecutor:
Surprise witness? He was nowhere near the crime, what kind of witness could he be?

Flash:
A big scary one.

Prosecutor:
How much more must we hear? We demand an immediate judgment!

Flash:
I object!

Judges:
[in unison, clearly irritated] OVERRULED!

Flash:
I'm sorry. I did everything I could.

Green Lantern:
I wish you hadn't.

Flash:
[being moved toward the execution chamber] Whoa, time out! I want an appeal!

Green Lantern:
Will you show some dignity for once in your life?

Flash:
This isn't right. We can't just sit here.

Green Lantern:
We have to. Think of the others like us. We all need to be held accountable. We have too much power not to be.

Green Lantern:
In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power: Green Lantern's light!

Guardian:
We chose wisely when we offered you the ring.

Superman:
You know, all this could have been avoided.

Aquaman:
How?

Superman:
Come and air your grievances at the World Assembly. Negotiate for peace.

Aquaman:
You'd have me crawl to them like some beggar?

Superman:
No. Stand before them like a king.

Green Lantern:
We never should have left that sub down there. Now it's in the hands of that madman.

Wonder Woman:
Aquaman's no madman. He's a king. He only wants to preserve and protect his own kind.

Green Lantern:
So who's going to protect us from him?

Batman:
I'll take it from here. [takes Deadshot away from the group]

Deadshot:
You can't scare me, Batman.

Batman:
[grabbing him] Let me give you one word of advice...

[Batman whispers something indistinct.]

Deadshot:
Okay, I'll tell, I'll tell.

Wonder Woman:
[to Superman] What did he say?

Superman:
You don't want to know.

[Aquaman jumps off of a jetski and onto the back of a giant killer whale, which jumps through the air and lands on a large group of soldiers before submerging.]

Green Lantern:
I saw it, but I still don't believe it.

Orm:
Well, I'm off to avenge your deaths.

Superman:
His own hand... I can't believe it.

Green Lantern:
I told you he was a madman.

Mera:
Is it madness to sacrifice all for someone you love?

Batman:
There's not much time. If we can't shut that down, the entire world is doomed!

Green Lantern:
I suppose this is a bad time to say "I told you so."

Aquaman:
[sighs] I can only blame myself. My fear of the surface-dwellers blinded me to those I should have feared most... and it cost me dearly. [looks down at the harpoon replacing his severed hand]

Green Lantern:
Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe we've all misjudged.

Aquaman:
Perhaps. All I want, all I've ever wanted, is peace and security for Atlantis.

Superman:
After what's happened, it won't be easy.

Aquaman:
[looks back at Mera, holding their son] I know. But some sacrifices are worth it.

Martian Manhunter:
[to Luthor] So much for your image as a benevolent businessman. This is the end of an era.

Lex Luthor:
The end of your era, maybe.

Superman:
Lex, if there's anything I can do-

Lex Luthor:
You've done more than enough!

[Luthor interrupts the Ultra-Humanite's opera program]

Lex Luthor:
Humanite! How can you stand that caterwauling?!

Ultra-Humanite:
Music is one of the meager pleasures I'm allowed in here, along with a few other necessities. You should try the culture channel. It might improve your disposition.

Lex Luthor:
There's nothing wrong with my disposition that a little freedom wouldn't cure.

Ultra-Humanite:
That's not what I hear.

Lex Luthor:
... I need your help. And I can make it worth your while.

Ultra-Humanite:
What do I need with money?

Lex Luthor:
Everyone needs money. The only question is, how much?

Hawkgirl:
I'm used to being thanked when I save someone.

Batman:
I'm not used to being saved.

Star Sapphire:
Common criminals. Is this what I've been reduced to?

Lex Luthor:
Criminals, yes. But common? Most certainly not.

Shade:
Lex Luthor? Well, the plot thins.

Flash:
And I had those flames out before the firemen even stepped off their trucks.

Hawkgirl:
That's fast.

Flash:
Fastest man alive.

Hawkgirl:
Which might explain why you can't get a date.

Flash:
Yeah... Hey! What's that supposed to mean?

[Luthor is knocked back during the battle with the Justice League]

Ultra-Humanite:
There goes our paycheck. [catches him] I'd hate to see anything happen to you, Lex.

Lex Luthor:
I'm sure!

[About Copperhead, who was captured after biting Batman]

Superman:
I'm going down to interrogate him.

Batman:
Alright. Let's go.

Superman:
No, you're staying here. That venom almost killed you.

Batman:
So?

Superman:
SO, you're staying here.

Batman:
[watches Superman leave] Right. [sits up and removes wrist IV]

[Batman, recovering from being poisoned, is typing at a computer.]

Martian Manhunter:
You really should be resting. [Batman keeps typing] I know this must be hard for you, feeling vulnerable. You're the only one of us without special powers, but you don't need to prove yourself. You're a valued member of this team, and we're only trying to-

Batman:
[Gets up] I'm taking the shuttle. Unless you want to try and stop me.

Martian Manhunter:
[pauses] No. [moves out of the way]

[After the Injustice Gang fail to defeat the Justice League]

Lex Luthor:
"The best at what you do". What was I thinking?!

Cheetah:
We did everything we could.

Lex Luthor:
Did you? Did you fight like your lives depended on it? Did you fight to the last man?

Shade:
You get what you pay for, Luthor.

Lex Luthor:
Are you saying you want MORE money? You want to be rewarded for failure? I oughta take the whole bunch of you and-

Solomon Grundy:
[grabs him around the neck] And what?!

Lex Luthor:
Go ahead! Do it! You'll be saving me months of bedpans and feeding tubes! And you'll also guarantee that none of you will ever see a penny from me!

Solomon Grundy:
[pauses, then drops Luthor] You're crazy.

Joker:
[entering] And what's wrong with that? It's done wonders for me!

Lex Luthor:
[annoyed] Get out of here!

Joker:
Oh, Lexy, I'm hurt! How could you have this little party without inviting me?

Lex Luthor:
It's not a party. Grundy, get rid of him.

[Grundy moves towards Joker only to be knocked out by him]

Joker:
But seriously Lex, you need me.

Lex Luthor:
Like I need skin rash.

Joker:
Maybe so, but I know something you don't know: I know how the Bat thinks!

Joker:
Lex, Lex, listen to someone who KNOWS. [whispering and pointing to Luthor's gun] Don't wait. Do it now.

Lex Luthor:
You don't like my decisions? Leave! [pushes him away]

Joker:
And they say I'm crazy.

[Superman and Flash interrogate Copperhead]

Copperhead:
I keep telling you, I don't know anything! I'm just...

Superman, Flash and Copperhead:
... "an innocent victim of circumstances".

Flash:
Yeah, yeah, we know.

[Superman grabs Copperhead and pushes him against a wall]

Superman:
Copperhead, when are you going to get some sense and tell us where Luthor is?!

Copperhead:
[not intimidated] Oooh, this must be the part where I get so scared, I spill my guts.

Superman:
I'm warning you...

Copperhead:
What are you gonna do, boy-scout? Short my sheets? Give me a wedgie?

Superman:
[drops Copperhead, and turns to two guards] Take him back to a holding cell.

Copperhead:
[being taken away] Hasta la vista! [hisses]

Flash:
[sarcastically] That went well.

Superman:
How does Batman do it?

[Cheetah is supposed to be guarding Batman, but they end up talking about her past]

Batman:
So what happened then?

Cheetah:
My research opened up whole new worlds. There was so much to do...

Batman:
But so little funding.

Cheetah:
You know about that?

Batman:
You didn't have enough for research subjects, so you used yourself.

Cheetah:
And now I'm a freak.

Batman:
That's not what I see. I see someone who was willing to sacrifice everything for a cause she believed in.

Cheetah:
[softens] How do you know so much about me?

Batman:
Let's just say, cats aren't the only creatures who are curious.

Cheetah:
[sidles up to him] Too much curiosity can be dangerous.

Batman:
Maybe I like danger.

Cheetah:
Do you?

Batman:
[whispers] Try me.

[She kisses him]

[While Cheetah "guards" Batman]

Joker:
She's been down there too long...

Lex Luthor:
Forget it. There's no way I'm going to leave you alone with him.

Joker:
But, Lexy, where's your sense of fun? Besides, it won't cost you a cent!

[Luthor stumbles, clutching his heart]

Shade:
Maybe we should get paid now...

Lex Luthor:
[as the villains desert him] No! We can still win if we lure them here! I have a plan, but we've got to stick together.

Solomon Grundy:
Grundy not THAT dumb.

Joker:
Hello, Kitty! [knocks Cheetah out with a high-voltage joy-buzzer] And they say I'm not a team player.

Lex Luthor:
[attacking Superman with Kryptonite radiation] Why so surprised, Superman? It's a basic rule of business: turn every weakness into a strength. Of course, that's a lesson you won't live to appreciate.

Ultra-Humanite:
Neither will YOU, Lex. [electrocutes him from behind]

Lex Luthor:
[dazed] Et tu, Humanite? [passes out]

Joker:
Whoopsie! Time to run. But there is still one unfinished piece of business...

Joker:
No fair! How did you get free?!

Batman:
I could have escaped any time. But I thought I'd hang around to keep an eye on you clowns. [punches Joker]

Joker:
[dazed] You're dethpicable!

[Joker passes out. The corner of Batman's mouth turns up in a slight smile.]

Wonder Woman:
I've got you little sister.

Cassie:
You're not my sister!

Wonder Woman:
[practicing for her return to Themyscira] "You look more radiant than ever, Mother..". No. [tries again] "Gone, Mother? I didn't go anywhere. I was in my room... alone... for eight months..". Definitely not. [tries again] "The world was in peril! Would you have me stand by and do nothing...?" Hera give me strength...

Wonder Woman:
I am Diana, Princess of the Amazons! I won't be denied!

Flash:
Picture it - The sun. The sea. Hundreds of women just like her running around, and me: the first man they've seen in... oh, maybe forever. Oh, and look what I brought: Iced mochas for everyone! Sweet.

Martian Manhunter:
I fail to see the attraction.

Flash:
Man, you really are from Mars.

Martian Manhunter:
Perhaps we should concentrate on finding the relic.

Flash:
No problem. [Flash grabs the crystal, speeds into the temple, and returns carrying the pot with the relic] See? That was easy. [a giant, fire breathing snake emerges from the ground] Or not!

Wonder Woman:
[walking through a mall] It's like some kind of temple.

Superman:
Yes, for those who worship their credit cards.

Batman:
He swore revenge on those that mocked him, and several later disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

Wonder Woman:
I have a pretty good idea what happened to them.

[Points to three stone faces with horrified looks]

Flash:
EW!

Batman:
Don’t touch that.

[Energy blast goes off and Batman drops to the floor to dodge it]

Flash:
Oops!

Batman:
Don’t touch anything! We don’t know what kind of powers we’re dealing with.

[The rest of The League quickly drops what they’re holding before Batman turns around]

[Descending to the gateway to Tartarus]

Flash:
Ugh - what's that smell?

Wonder Woman:
Don't ask.

Felix Faust:
Thank you for your assistance. But now that your usefulness is over...Petropa kis- WHAT?!

[Flash runs past and steals the amulet]

Flash:
You're not the only one with an ace up your sleeve.

Felix Faust:
W-what is this?

[Batman swings in and knocks Faust to the ground]

Hippolyta:
You brought men here? To Themyscira?!

Wonder Woman:
What did you ever see in him?

Hippolyta:
[dryly] Ancient history.

Mongul:
Rebellion? There's not going to be any rebellion. Not if I can keep giving them fights - good ones. Enough to take their minds off their troubles.

Draaga:
Shall I spare him my lord?

Mongul:
What say the rest of you. [Crowd jeers] The people have spoken. LONG LIVE DEMOCRACY!

Draaga:
Pathetic. The whole lot of you. Not a real warrior in the bunch. And you, the Kryptonian, you're the biggest disappointment of all. [Spits on Superman and walks away. Superman breaks out of his chains]

Alien:
Why didn't you do that when Draaga was here?

Superman:
It's called "turning the other cheek."

Alien:
I don't know if he's brave or just plain crazy.

Green Lantern:
Relax. All we want is information about our friends. You can talk to me... [points to Hawkgirl] Or you can talk to her. [Hawkgirl slaps her mace into one hand]

Mongul:
Are you ready, Kryptonian?

Superman:
I won't fight for your amusement, Mongul.

Superman:
Draaga, we don't have to do this!

Draaga:
You don't have a choice - neither of us does.

[Security robots are attempting to destroy Superman as the crowd (and the Martian Manhunter) look on.]

Martian Manhunter:
No! The Kryptonian won! Don't you want to see him fight again?

Spectator:
I gotta admit, he's a real champ!

Martian Manhunter:
He's more than that - he's a Superman!

Mongul:
Hear what they think of their new hero now? Game over!

Green Lantern:
Not yet. We're going into overtime.

Superman:
You've earned a chance for a whole new life.

Draaga:
What's life without honor? I'm not worthy.

Superman:
Draaga, the real test of honor isn't how you die. It's how you live.

Flash:
Easy boy. We'll have you back behind monkey bars before we know it.

Solovar:
Get your stinking paws off me, you filthy human!

Flash:
Say what?!

Flash:
I can't think - I'm tired and hungry...

Detective:
Maybe some coffee will help. How do you take it?

Flash:
Cream and 37 sugars. [the detective starts, then looks at him incredulously] Really.

Flash:
Let's see, after I caught the gorilla, he told me that...

Green Lantern:
He talked to you?

Flash:
Yeah, right after I stopped his car.

Green Lantern:
I'm supposed to believe this?

Flash:
Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here.

Grodd:
[after punching Flash] That's for the banana. I hate bananas.

[Green Lantern blasts Solovar]

Solovar:
Was that really necessary?

Green Lantern:
Okay, so he can talk.

Flash:
Weird. Am I the only one creeped out here? Where is everyone?

Solovar:
Perhaps the shield frightened them.

Flash:
Could be. But usually, when a city looks this empty, flesh-eating zombies are involved.

Green Lantern:
You watch too many movies.

[Promptly afterwards, they hear a large crowd ranting]

Flash:
Maybe you don't watch enough!

Dr. Sarah Corwin:
[fires at Flash, only to suddenly find him next to her] How...

Flash:
You blinked.

Gorilla Grodd:
My apologies for the hasty exit, but I have a city to destroy!

Gorilla Grodd:
People of Central City! The age of hairless, simple-minded humanity is over! Today, a new age dawns. Today, Grodd rules.

[Crowd cheers] Humans are slow, ugly, immoral, and have an unpleasant body odor!

Flash:
Hey, who you calling slow?!

Green Lantern:
Flash, don't heckle the super villain.

Solovar:
Flash! I can't hold them off much longer!

Flash:
How much do you weigh?

Solovar:
About four hundred of your pounds. Why do you AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!

Grodd:
You're a bigger fool than I thought.

Flash:
Oh yeah?! Well, you're... naked!

Grodd:
[preparing to don his helmet] The world will miss your sparkling intellect. Goodbye, Flash.

Flash:
Not bad, huh? I outsmarted a super-genius!

Green Lantern:
Guess you're not as dumb as you look.

Flash:
Yeah! and I... Hey, I resent that! Nobody makes a monkey out of me!

Copperhead:
[About Aresia] I like her style.

Shade:
A definite improvement over Luthor.

Saleswoman:
It's the latest scent! Wear this, and you'll have to beat the men off with a stick.

Wonder Woman:
Believe me - I don't need a stick.

Wonder Woman:
An Amazon? That's ridiculous!

Batman:
I don't think so. [pulls out Aresia's necklace] I managed to take this off her. [throws it to Wonder Woman, who catches it] It's an Amazon design, isn't it?

Wonder Woman:
Yes... but it could be a forgery. [throws necklace back to Batman] Besides, Amazons don't steal; it's against our code. And we never leave the island. [turns to leave]

Batman:
[pointedly] Never?

[Wonder Woman stops short at this]

[Hawkgirl and Queen Hippolyta make their way towards a tower by a cliff]

Hippolyta:
That necklace belongs to Aresia - she's supposed to be here in solitary meditation.

[They make their way up up the tower, only to find an empty room]

Hawkgirl:
Looks like she got tired of contemplating her navel. Nobody's been here in weeks!

Hippolyta:
I feared as much...

Hawkgirl:
So why was she in here? Did she do something wrong?

Hippolyta:
No. It was the final step of her rebirth. You see, Aresia was not born an Amazon - she comes from Man's World. When she was but a child, her homeland became the battlefield for a bloody and senseless war. The victors were cruel, and denied even the basic humanity of their defeated foes. Soon neighbours, friends and schoolmates were all gone. Her family had no choice but to flee. They eventually made their way to a refugee ship... but even here fate was not kind. Pirates raided the ship and stole their few meager possessions. [flashback shows the pirates firing at the ship, sinking it] Aresia survived, clinging to a piece of floating wreckage. Miraculously, she washed ashore here, on Themyscira. I found her, and nursed her back to health. Then, we Amazons adopted her, trained her, and magically endowed her with Amazon strength. I've often wondered if we did the right thing... Still, how could we refuse?

Hawkgirl:
You couldn't.

Hippolyta:
And now, she's deserted us.

Hawkgirl:
[walks up to a chest] Maybe we'll find some answers in here. [lifts the lid open]

Hippolyta:
What is it?

Hawkgirl:
Books. [pulls one out] Maps, city guides...

Hippolyta:
These things are forbidden here!

Hawkgirl:
Why?

Hippolyta:
We believe contact with outside world could corrupt us.

Hawkgirl:
[regards book in her hands, entitled "History of Germ Warfare"] It's sure starting to look that way.

Batman:
So this Aresia is not really an Amazon?

Hawkgirl:
She's an orphan. It's hard to imagine what that kind of trauma could do to a child.

Tsukuri:
So the poison only effects men?

Aresia:
Exactly. That's why it didn't hurt you two.

Star Sapphire:
But why? What do you have to gain from all of this?

Aresia:
[indignant] "What do I have to gain"?! Look around you: Man's World is filled with greed, deception and cruelty! But I'm going to change all that! Today, we women take control!

Star Sapphire:
You can't be serious.

Aresia:
[sneers] Can't I?

Wonder Woman:
[about Aresia, to Hawkgirl] Even when she was a child, I could sense a bitterness within in her. She was never really one of us.

Hawkgirl:
I think she fits in pretty well.

Wonder Woman:
[shocked] How can you say that?!

Hawkgirl:
Aresia's just taking her precious Amazon code to its logical extension.

Wonder Woman:
We don't teach hatred!

Hawkgirl:
Except when it comes to men.

Aresia:
[looking at a jet] It's perfect... Absolutely perfect!

Hippolyta:
[appearing behind her] For what? More betrayal? More destruction?

Aresia:
Your Highness! [bows] You of all people should understand why I'm doing this!

Hippolyta:
No! You have violated sacred Amazonian law!

Aresia:
[smirking] I'm sorry you see it that way. [Tsukuri knocks Hippolyta down] But I've come too far to turn back now.

Wonder Woman:
[lands in front of a female firefighter] Do you need help here?

Female Firefighter:
[wiping soot off her face] Thanks, but we finally got this one contained.

Hawkgirl:
[to a female paramedic] Any remaining victims?

Female Paramedic:
Just sent the last one to Gotham General.

Female Firefighter:
[to her squad] Alright ladies, let's wrap this up! [the other female firefighters climb onto the firetruck as it drives away]

Hawkgirl:
They seem to be on top of things. Impressive.

Wonder Woman:
[proudly] Almost reminds me of home.

Hawkgirl:
But who wants to live in a world without men?

Wonder Woman:
They can't possibly be that essential to your life.

Hawkgirl:
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, Princess.

Aresia:
We'll be at the launch site at less than an hour.

Star Sapphire:
And then?

Aresia:
I shoot these cruise missiles into the upper atmosphere; After they explode, the winds will scatter my poison all over the world.

Star Sapphire:
And I can say goodbye to some very unpleasant men I've known over the years.

Aresia:
You can say good bye to all of them.

Aresia:
You fools! Don't you see? We're not your enemy, it's the men! They must be destroyed.

Hippolyta:
You're wrong Aresia. Without men, you wouldn't still be here. After your ship sank, you must have lost consciousness as you drifted on your makeshift raft. You would surely have drowned had the ship's captain not found you and pulled you to safety. Valiantly he struggled to keep you alive until he brought you to the shores of Themyscira. But the effort was too much for his heart. His final resting place is a simple, unmarked grave. He's the only man ever buried on Themyscira. So you see, for all your hatred of men, it turns out you owe your life to one.

Aresia:
...Why didn't you ever tell me about this?

Hippolyta:
I didn't think it was important. [ashamed] I didn't think he was important.

Hawkgirl:
Maybe it's time to reconsider that.

Aresia:
So everything you ever preached was a lie?

Hippolyta:
Not everything.

Aresia:
[beat] Still, the acts of one man cannot redeem the sins of his kind! [turns toward the control panel] They all must pay!

Hippolyta:
NO! [Aresia knocks her out of the landing bay doors]

[Hawkgirl sabotages the missile launch, causing them to activate in the plane]

Aresia:
[to Tsukuri] Shut the missile off!

Tsukuri:
It's too late! [grabs a jetpack]

Aresia:
Wait! You can't leave!

Tsukuri:
[shrugs on the jetpack] I like you, but not that much! [jumps out the landing bay doors]

[Aresia's plane explodes and sinks into the ocean]

Hippolyta:
[solemnly] Poor Aresia. May the gods grant her peace at last.

Wonder Woman:
If only Aresia could have learned to see the noble qualities of men.

Flash:
[eating a donut] I definitely could have taught that bad babe a thing or two about guys. Too bad we never met. [washes it down with a soda; burps]

Wonder Woman:
Maybe it's... just as well.

Sergeant O'Shaugnessy:
Music Master! Put up your hands and drop the Stradivarius!

Music Master:
Sorry, Sergeant - I don't take requests.

Hawkgirl:
[strained, to Black Siren] So, you fight crime AND bake cookies. How DO you do it?

Green Lantern:
I know it sounds corny, but those comics taught me what it meant to be a hero. Without them... well, maybe I wouldn't have this ring today.

Flash:
Oh-KAY.

[Hawkgirl walks by with a tray of cookies.]

Flash:
Hey, Cookie.

Hawkgirl:
One word and you'll be the fastest man alive WITH A LIMP.

Ray Thompson:
Can I come? Can I? Can I?

Martian Manhunter:
I would hesitate to put the boy in harm's way.

Cat Man:
Sure thing, little buddy!

Ray Thompson:
Oh, boy!

Streak:
Obviously the clue "fire" can mean only one thing. The plan to steal the fabled Flame of Rasputin. A precious ruby necklace on loan to the Seaboard City Museum!

Green Lantern:
You know your stuff. It's an honor to fight beside you.

Streak:
The feeling's mutual. Your a credit to your people, son.

Green Lantern:
Uh... thanks?

Flash:
Is it just me, or are they the only cops in this town?

Streak:
[after Sir Swami escapes] A pity he uses his talents for evil, rather than entertain children at birthday parties.

Music Master:
This calls for a little travelling music.

Music Master:
Badaba to the fat lady - may she keep on singing!

Dr. Blizzard:
If you'll excuse me, Mr. Mayor, but I'll be taking off with my "chill" gotten gains.

Flash:
Chill out, Blizzard. We're putting you on ice!

Dr. Blizzard:
Forgive me if I give you the cold shoulder.

Flash:
Like I said, you never had a snowball's chance in-

Black Siren:
Flash, look!

[Flash sees a truck full of dynamite on a collision course with a bus full of nuns, who gasp and cross themselves.]

Flash:
You've gotta be kidding.

Dr. Blizzard:
Ha! You can't escape my killing chill.

Flash:
I'm just getting warmed up!

The Sportsman:
What's this? New player? No matter, watch the birdie. [explosion throws Catman forward] Game, Set, Match.

Flash:
[seeing the giant robot created to attack them] That's it. I officially want to go home.

[Green Guardsman gets distracted seeing Ray brutally attack and defeat the Justice League]

Green Guardsman:
The Justice League needs our help! [starts to fly toward them]

Tom Turbine:
WAIT! If what they said true, then defeating Ray could destroy this reality and everything in it!

Black Siren:
Including us. [Cat Man puts his arm around her]

[The Justice Guild linger for a moment, wondering what to do, when Green Lantern starts screaming in pain]

Streak:
We died once to save this Earth. And we can do it again.

[The Justice Guild converge on Ray]

Ray Thompson:
[to Green Lantern] You'll be sorry you messed things up! [Streak punches him] What is this!?

Tom Turbine:
In Seaboard City, crime doesn't pay. [pummels the ground, sending Ray flying backwards]

Ray Thompson:
[to the Guild, in shock] You can't! I made you!

Justice Guild:
[in unison] Let justice prevail!

Hawkgirl:
Are you okay?

Green Lantern:
It's stupid really - why should I feel like this? I mean, they weren't even real.

Hawkgirl:
They gave their lives for us. That's real enough for me.

Jason Blood:
Gone, gone the form of man. Rise the demon Etrigan!

Etrigan:
For the past generation she has hidden from me, but I will never rest until her soul burns in the Eternal Pit.

Flash:
And I thought Bats was creepy.

Etrigan:
The witch has an amulet which can sense when I'm drawing near.

Flash:
With that stench, who needs an amulet?

Etrigan:
Heed me. She will tap into your deepest desires, and dangle them like a carrot in front of your nose. She will give you everything you dream of - but only until she gets what she wants.

Batman:
The voice of experience?

Etrigan:
[grumbles] Don't say I didn't warn you.

Morgaine le Fey:
[after draining the Hall of Records clerk of her life energy] Youth is so wasted on the young. [looks around at the computers] Don't these people believe in books anymore?

Etrigan:
I still don't trust that Martian. He's damaged goods.

Batman:
I trust J'onn with my life.

Etrigan:
I'll send flowers.

[Flash and Wonder Woman try to get into Harv Hickman's Halloween party]

Flash:
Harv Hickman? The magazine publisher?

Wonder Woman:
You know his work?

Flash:
I, uh, only read it for the articles.

Flash:
[elbowing through crowd] Sorry, official world-saving business.

Bouncer:
Are you on the list?

Wonder Woman:
This is an emergency. We're with the Justice League.

Bouncer:
Heh. Sure, lady. [gestures to costumed party-goers, some dressed as superheroes] So are they.

Martian Manhunter:
[to Batman] I know what I experienced was an illusion, but it felt so real. The urge to embrace it was more than I could bear. Sometimes I believe I would do anything to see my loved ones again. You can't imagine how that feels.

Wonder Woman:
Let me understand this - you possess the most powerful object in the world, and yet all you wished for is money and women?

Harv Hickman:
What else is there?

[chatting up the two models at the Hickman Mansion]

Flash:
Superman? Yeah, he's a close personal friend...

[Diana bursts into the grotto]

Wonder Woman:
Morgaine's here!

[A giant worm rears up behind them]

Flash:
Yeah, I kind of gathered that.

[After Morgaine le Fey successfully uses the Martian Manhunter to steal the Stone from the Watchtower]

Etrigan:
You stupid, ignorant, pathetic excuses for heroes!

Wonder Woman:
It can't be....

Etrigan:
Oh, really, your highness?! Take another look! I pursued that witch for centuries, and yet you've blindly ignored my warnings and doomed the world!

Wonder Woman:
Enough! [slaps him]

Etrigan:
[rubs jaw] The truth hurts, doesn't it, Princess?

Wonder Woman:
Why don't you go straight to-

Flash:
[rushing in] More bad news!

Flash:
[putting the Philosopher's Stone in the Watchtower vault] Ha. I'd like to see her try and get it now.

Etrigan:
Be careful what you wish for, little man.

Flash:
Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine? As far as I'm concerned, this mission's over. The world's safe again and I for one am gonna kick back. So go find some other house to haunt! [leaves]

Wonder Woman:
He didn't mean that.

Etrigan:
Do you think I care?

Flash:
[After teleporting through dimensions] Ding! Fifth floor, hardware, sporting goods, evil sorceresses!

Wonder Woman:
Flash is right. There's something unsettling about your friend. When he stares, it's like he's looking into my very soul.

Batman:
True. But I'd rather have him with us than against us.

Modred:
Get out of my castle! [Fires blasts at Flash and Wonder Woman]

Flash:
Whoa, the kid's got chops too.

Wonder Woman:
The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Oil Driller:
870 feet. We drill much deeper, and we'll hit New Zealand.

Rex Mason:
Still in uniform, I see - though it's not exactly standard Marine corps issue.

Green Lantern:
I signed up with a new unit.

Rex Mason:
So I heard.

Rex Mason:
Working for an outfit like Stagg Enterprises does have its perks..

John Stewart:
No kidding.

Rex Mason:
But so must wearing that ring. A big hero like you makes a fortune on the side, right?

John Stewart:
Mmm... it doesn't work like that. I've hardly got more than the clothes on my back.

Sapphire Stagg:
[appearing] Well then, we simply must take you shopping.

Green Lantern:
I've never thought much about the choices I've made. Maybe if I'd taken the other road, I'd be where Mason is now. Rich, successful...

Hawkgirl:
[wryly] And engaged to a beautiful woman?

[He grins at her]

Bank Robber:
[riding in armored car, sees Justice League] Uh-oh. Long-Johns at 10:00.

Sapphire Stagg:
No wonder he always looked up to you.

John Stewart:
Me? He's the one who had it made.

Sapphire Stagg:
No. He watches you on the news all the time. He still misses it—being in action, saving people's lives. I think he'd trade places with you in a minute.

Superman:
Prepare the landing bay. We’re coming in.

Batman:
Just when I was starting to enjoy the peace and quiet.

Superman:
Same old Bats.

Stormtrooper:
You heard me?! Let's see your identity papers. Now!

Flash:
Sorry, but my identity's a secret. Chicks dig that whole "man of mystery" thing.

Flash:
Bats, you're starting to scare me.

Alternate Batman:
I scare a lot of people.

Alternate Batman:
The resistance might be able to use you, but you're going to have to prove we can trust you.

Green Lantern:
Are you kidding? You've known us for years!

[Bruce takes a gun from one of his soldiers and points it at Lantern's face without a flicker of expression]

Alternate Batman:
You must have me confused with someone else.

[On a speeding train, the League are all thrown into a pile]

Hawkgirl:
Whose hand is that?

Flash:
Sorry.

Martian Manhunter:
You understand that if we do change the past, you - this version of you - will never have existed?

Alternate Batman:
Nothing would make me happier.

[The League arrives in the past, in the German-occupied France]

Flash:
Great Jumpin' Hera!

Superman:
[about the Blackhawks] Friends of yours?

Hawkgirl:
They are now.

Vandal Savage:
[seeing Martian Manhunter] Who would have thought the Übermensch would be green?

Martian Manhunter:
Übermensch?

Vandal Savage:
The superior man. Those destined to lead the world.

Martian Manhunter:
I thought that was your goal.

Vandal Savage:
My only desire is peace, progress, unity...

Martian Manhunter:
With you in charge, of course.

Vandal Savage:
Why not?

Vandal Savage:
I'm not from the future... [gestures to a laptop computer] but this is. Sixty years from now, it will be a child's toy. But today, it's the most powerful weapon on Earth.

Martian Manhunter:
[observing the recording of Vandal Savage's future self] You age gracefully.

Vandal Savage:
You have no idea.

Vandal Savage:
Knowing the future, how can I not succeed?

Martian Manhunter:
I've seen your future. It doesn't work.

Wonder Woman:
You're a strange one, Steve Trevor. You have no special powers, yet you're willing to risk your life here. Aren't you afraid of dying?

Steve Trevor:
Some things are worth dying for, Angel.

Green Lantern:
I've got a plane to catch!

Sgt. Rock:
You can't stop 'em single-handed!

Green Lantern:
Watch me!

Green Lantern:
You're not going anywhere!

Vandal Savage:
You think you can kill me? You're welcome to try.

Green Lantern:
Say your prayers, Savage!

Vandal Savage:
A god doesn't grovel.

Green Lantern:
What took you?

Hawkgirl:
I had to fix my hair.

Superman:
Batman! It’s really you! [hugs him]

Batman:
[awkwardly]...Am I missing something?

Superman:
Sorry, it’s just that... well, it’s a long story.

[Wonder Woman goes to visit an elderly Steve Trevor]

Wonder Woman:
Steve?

Steve Trevor:
[smiling] Angel.