Letterkenny, Season 8

Reilly:
This is bullshit, why does Shoresy get credit when we're the chirp kings in this club.

Jonesy:
I know bro, teamwork!

Shoresy:
Wanna talk about teamwork, Jonesy? I took your mom to Medieval Times and me and the Green Knight took her down after at Best Western.

Reilly:
Fuck you, Shoresy.

Shoresy:
Fuck you, Reilly, I took your Mom the next weekend. Me and the Blue Knight showed her a real sword fight.

Jonesy:
Fuck you, Shoresy!

Shoresy:
Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom got us banned from Canada's Wonderland for trying to give me a tug on Thunder Run.

Reilly:
Fuck you, Shoresy!

Shoresy:
Fuck you, Reilly, I took your mom the weekend before and she asked me to diddle her on Drop Tower.

(To Reilly and Jonesy, in response to their post-game interview sound-bytes)

Wayne:
All this brotherhood talk's gotta stop, as it's not certain yous don't suck each other off.

Daryl:
You givin' his flute a little toot?

Wayne:
I think he'd give his flute a big hoot.

Daryl:
Oh, a big 'ole mouthful of bell-end.

Wayne:
You're so fuckin' Five-Eleven

Daryl:
You are an anchor, bud.

Bonnie:
Sure you wanna do this?

Katy:
Can confirm.

Bonnie:
Katy?

Katy:
Bonnie?

Bonnie:
Don't kick a dead horse.

Katy:
Bonnie?

Bonnie:
Katy?

Katy:
Bend enough and you'll break.

Bonnie:
Stand for nothing and you'll fall for anything.

Wayne:
If she cheats, it's over. No exceptions.

Daryl:
I was reading about this thing called "Beat Your Dick December".

Dan:
"Beat Your Dick December?" What's the rumpus, Grumpus?

Daryl:
Well, you look at the calendar, and if it's like the first, or second, or third, that's how many times a day you need to mix a batch.

Dan:
So on the twentieths of Decembers, you gots to mix twenty separate batches?

Daryl:
You got it.

Wayne:
So it's thirty days hath September.....June and November...December has 31 - so on the 31st, you have to batch 31 times?

Daryl:
You heard it here first.

Dan:
How's he going to fuck that pigs?

Daryl:
Well, from the 1st to the 5th, you're having a good time. Even up until the tenth. Mmm, by the 12th you're starting to fade and by the 15th you're definitely not full bars.

Dan:
Oh, I don't think I could continue past the 15th.

Daryl:
Yeah, me neither. Wayne?

Wayne:
Yup.

Dan:
You're saying you could batch 15 times on the 15th, despite the fact that you batched 14 times on the day before, 13 times the day before that, and sos on and sos forth?

Wayne:
Yup.

Daryl:
Could you - could you do twenty?

Wayne:
Yup.

Daryl:
Gotta stay hydrated.

[Wayne walks into MoDean's bathroom]

Wayne:
Well, fuckin' Alexander!

Alexander:
This is where the dicks hang out.

Wayne:
Oh, that's right - Gailor told me you were helpin' with cleanup here now, eh?

Alexander:
You shake it more than once, we know what you're doin'.

Wayne:
How long you been at it?

Alexander:
48 fiscal hours.

Wayne:
Boy, that's more than enough time to see a nightmare or two around here, eh?

Alexander:
Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne:
...Huh?

Alexander:
Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne:
Huh. Is that right?

Alexander:
You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Wayne:
...Uh?

Alexander:
You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Wayne:
It get pretty hairy over there, or-

Alexander:
Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

Wayne:
What?

Alexander:
Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

Wayne:
Fuck a duck. Well, how do you think it got there?

Alexander:
Remember how I said sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet?

Wayne:
Yeah?

Alexander:
Well, I bet the shit got on the outside of the urinus the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne:
Isn't that something.

[McMurray walks into MoDean's bathroom]

McMurray:
This piss now streaming! ...Wayne.

Wayne:
No.

McMurray:
How're-you-now-not-s'bad-good-n'you. Alexander!

Alexander:
Out there, you're Canadian... in here, you're-a-peein.

McMurray:
Oh, shit... looks like someone un-swallowed over there.

Alexander:
You think that's bad? Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet.

McMurray:
Huh?!

Alexander:
You think that's bad, sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet.

McMurray:
Well, I spray the seat from time to time when I got crap on top, but I never miss the bowl entirely. Fuckin' degens, need to mind their scruples.

Alexander:
You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

McMurray:
Huh?

Alexander:
You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

McMurray:
Mm. Pretty hairy o'er there?

Alexander:
Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

McMurray:
What?!

Alexander:
Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

McMurray:
Well, how the fuck did shit get there?

Alexander:
Remember how I said sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet?

McMurray:
Feels like you told me that nearly a year ago now.

Wayne:
Yeah, we're kinda burnin' daylight here, eh?

McMurray:
Mhm!

Alexander:
I bet the shit got on the outside of the urinus the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet.

McMurray:
Oh... well, no offense or nothin', but I think I'd rather just piss outside, Alexander.

Wayne:
I just came in here to wash my hands.

McMurray:
Why'd you wash your hands?

Wayne:
Had a dart?

McMurray:
Mm, well, I'd have a dart.

Wayne:
Maybe I'd have a dart with you and just wash my hands after that dart.

Alexander:
'ey, gents? I know how the shit got on the outside of the torlet and also the urinus... but why would someone take a shit on the outside of the torlet and also the urinus?

Dan:
Says he pulled a pikes, a perch, a wallseyes and a trouts.

Daryl:
That a brook trout?

Wayne:
No, it'd be lake trout.

Daryl:
Why's that?

Wayne:
'Cause we're on a fuckin' lake, Darry.