NCIS: New Orleans, Season 2

LaSalle:
Now, you can uh...

Percy:
Clean the shotguns? Done. Get Agent Pride his chicory? Also done. And that mail? Collated by recipient, stacked by size.

Brody:
Kind of into having a newbie, especially one that's not me.

Percy:
Listen here, luscious locks, I transferred from ATF, which means I come in as a full agent.

LaSalle:
If I tell you I went to the MCRD to see the RTB to meet the SDI.

Percy:
You'd go to the Marine Corps Depot to the Recruit Training Battalion to see the Senior Drill Instructor.

Sebastian:
Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Louisiana anymore

Wade:
In my opinion, she was poisoned.

Pride:
So this "plane crash"...

Wade:
Just became a murder investigation.

Sebastian:
[At the scene of the jet crash in full body protective coveralls] Because Lt. Garrett and Franco both presented damaged lung tissue, I knew that the mercury poisoning had to be the result of inhalation. But, my test of the oxygen system aboard the Skystormer came up empty handed.

Dave:
You know he doesn't need to be wearing that suit, right?

Sebastian:
If there's a chance for me to dress up like Doc Brown from Back to the Future, I'm just... I'm gonna take it.

Percy:
You want to know who led the Pelicans in assists last year? Tyreke Evans. You want to talk micro brews? DBA on Frenchman has a solid 20 taps. And if the conversation moves to supermodels I'm a Kate Upton girl. 'Cause I appreciate curves.

LaSalle:
Do you, now?

Percy:
You know, I would totally ace boys' night.

LaSalle:
I'll make sure and spread the word.

Wife:
How long have you guys been trying?

Pride:
As an agent, I cannot condone what you did today... As a father... Come on, I've got some coffee going.

Pride:
I see what's going on here, Chris. Partying, women, not sleeping...

LaSalle:
It hasn't interfered with my job, King. There's no reason for this.

Pride:
It's all just a temporary fix.

LaSalle:
Okay?

Pride:
Just so you don't have to deal with Savannah's death.

LaSalle:
It's the noises outside my window. All right? That's why I can't sleep at home. People yelling, street musicians... Savannah and I, we used to we used to just lay there listening and laughing. And now, when I slow down, I hear those noises.

Pride:
There's no way around pain. All you can do is make friends with the devil. Feel it move through it. For me, I got my music. Piano. That's how I lean in find peace. Just need to figure out what that is for you.

LaSalle:
And then what? I'm all better?

Pride:
Then you're on the road to better. Hear Me?

Pride:
[to Laurel] I'm the father, you're the daughter. It's my job to worry about you.

Ross P:
I'm really tryin' to walk on the straight side of the street here. I mean, a leopard can change his stripes, huh?

LaSalle:
Only problem with that is leopards have spots.

Ross P:
Change those, too!

LaSalle:
Come on, Ross P.! Nothing good was ever transported from one trash can to another!

Brody:
What the hell was that?

Pride:
That was what my mother would call a tornado riding on the back of a hurricane.

Pride:
You're not respectful, I look the other way, her knee ends up in your lap.

Percy:
Wordy and Nerdy awaits us.

Percy:
She made a choice, and choices have consequences.

LaSalle:
I'm not some piece of meat!

Olivia:
[greeting Brody at the Airport] I like this hair. This is much better than that boy cut, don't you think?

Patton:
You gotta move forward. That's what life is.

Patton:
Would you stop it with the odds, kid? Listen, man, after I had my accident, the odds of me moving anything below my neck was a million to one. Had I given up, I'da gotten a bed instead of a sled.

Brody:
It's still blurry.

LaSalle:
If only we knew someone with access to top secret photo software...!

Brody:
Fine, fine, fine, fine. I will call her.

Pinzon:
How'd you end up in that chair, anyway?

Patton:
Bear attack. Accident in a demolition derby.

Brody:
Still haven't said why you're in tow. Hovercraft conference, invisibility cloak expo?

Olivia:
So close, but you know I don't work for Hogwarts anymore.

Sebastian:
Well, then I guess it's a good thing Chris and Merri are on the case. Not you Chris and Merri, the other Chris and Merri.

Brody:
Really?

Sebastian:
named the bees. So, most of the specimens came back DOA, but two of them were just stunned. So I nursed 'em back to health and when they're no longer evidence, I'm considering becoming an urban apiarist. Chris and Merri, meet Chris and Merri.

Brody:
Hmmm. Which is which?

Sebastian:
Well, Chris is the one with the funny accent.

Brody:
Okay, the third thing?

Sebastian:
I killed Chris.

Brody:
Chris as in LaSalle?

Sebastian:
Chris as in LaBee. There was an incident when I tried to run further tests. We got into it, and he stung me.

Brody:
Ouch.

Sebastian:
Honestly, you know, I think he was just depressed. It was one of those classic death-by-scientist kind of things.

Brody:
[phone beeps] Chris.

Sebastian:
The person, I assume?

Brody:
Yeah, gotta go.

Sebastian:
Okay. Hey, when you see him, you'll tell him it wasn't personal.

Pride:
Thing is, family is what you make of it. Sometimes, it's simple. Most times, it's not.

Pride:
Somehow, the past always manage to catch up to us.

Patton:
This case is goin' all kinds of Ocean Eleven now!

Pride:
City's been through more than its share. Blackouts, floods, storms. Sometimes it brings out the worst. But then, just when you think you've figured out how it's all gonna go, a stranger brings your cat back to you, three months after the storm, then stays to help fix your busted-up roof. That's New Orleans: doesn't take electricity to light it up.

Dinah:
Friend's a pretty strong word, Christopher. I always liked King. [about LaSalle] I tolerated him.

Brody:
I know what you mean. Nice to meet you.

Danny:
If I tell you...

Wade:
Stop! Don't say another word.

Pride:
Loretta?

Wade:
I'm sorry, Dwayne. But Danny's not saying another word until he sees a lawyer.

Danny:
I see how it is. Once a gangster, always a gangster, right?

Wade:
Don't you ever play that card with me. I'll come back later when you stop feeling sorry for yourself.

[gate buzzes]

Danny:
Sorry.

Wade:
Come here. [hugs Danny] They've dropped all charges.

Danny:
Still, I sh-shouldn't have lied to you about what I was doing that night. It was stupid.

Wade:
You can tell me things.

Danny:
Thank you, Doc.

Wade:
What do you say we just go on home now?

[Danny and Wade get in the car]

Danny:
Doc? Alonzo-- is he gonna make it?

Wade:
Oh, they're still trying to stop the internal bleeding from the gunshot wound. But if he pulls through, all his friends are all pointing the finger at him.

Danny:
Someone's got to take the fall, right?

Wade:
Danny, he may be your friend, but he's involved in this.

Danny:
Involved maybe, but... I'm telling you, he's not the killer.

Wade:
They have a time line now. 9:30, Alonzo went back to the house, which aligns with the victim's time of death.

Danny:
It's not possible.

Wade:
Why is that?

Danny:
'Cause Zo was in my car at 9:30 on the way to that party.

Wade:
Oh, you have anybody who can corroborate that?

Danny:
Yeah. You. What time's our nightly check-in?

Wade:
9:30.

Alonzo':
[over phone] Yo, Drizz, get off the phone! Let's go, man!

Wade:
And I heard you talking to someone who called you Drizz.

Danny:
Yes

Wade:
If he didn't pull the trigger, who did?

Bishop:
No time. You need to take me to Dr. Wade. I come bearing gifts. [uncovers a body]

LaSalle:
You could've just brought bagels.

Bishop:
Who says I didn't?

LaSalle:
How was the drive?

Bishop:
Nerve-wracking. I was sure I'd get pulled over by Highway Patrol. I had no idea how to explain a dead Russian diplomat in my van.

LaSalle:
Wouldn't be the weirdest thing they ever saw - not by far.

Brody:
I may have let it slip once.

Bishop:
Okay.

Pride:
[enters] Ellie! [hugs Bishop]

Bishop:
Hey.

Pride:
Hey, how you doing?

Bishop:
Good.

Pride:
Good. Good. Listen once this case is done, we'll had over to Sal's. Crawfish and beer. And we'll sort all this out.

[Bishop glares at Brody]

Brody:
Maybe twice.

[after interrogating Abby's brother, Luca]

Pride:
You can think about everything I just said. However, I'm the least of your worries.

[Pride dials a number.]

Abby:
Hello, Dwayne?

Pride:
Abby.

Abby:
Please tell me my brother is there.

Pride:
Yeah, he's right here.

[Pride puts the phone down in front of Luca.]

Luca:
Abby put a tracking device in my shoe, didn't she? It's like college all over again.

Pride:
I'm gonna make an executive decision here and end this conversation!

Randy Wilson:
Your name popped up. I hear they put a--

Pride:
--bounty on my head?

Randy Wilson:
Seventy-five thousand!

Pride:
Hm. Used to be fifty. Gettin' popular.

Brody:
This has 'epic fail' written all over it. Loretta, please back me up!

Wade:
All I know is I tried setting Dwayne up one, and he ducked me like Muhammad Ali!

Sebastian:
Do you know the one thing that a woman looks for in a man?

Brody:
Well, since I am a woman, I can tell you it's--

Sebastian:
--high earning potential. It's a biological fact!

LaSalle:
Listen, I've got an older brother myself, and he's had his fair share of problems. Always fell on me to look after him. So I can relate. You can't blame yourself.

Percy:
Getting the mayor... alone... that didn't strike you as strange?

LaSalle:
[having just arrested a suspect in front of a crowd of drunken Mardi Gras revelers] We'll be here every Tuesday night! Happy Mardi Gras!

Douglas Hamilton:
People like to talk to me. They tell me a lot of things. How do you think I became mayor?

Pride:
The other candidate was flooding your district with drugs!

Brad Curry:
What makes you think this isn't about your guy?

LaSalle:
Well, we can debate character later.

Douglas Hamilton:
[on being kidnapped] I'd just like to go on record and say this is NOT my kind of party.

Pride:
I talked to the CIA. They denied knowing anything about your 'op.'

Nolan Griffith:
It's the CIA. They deny everything.

LaSalle:
You hang around crazy long enough, it'd be hard not to get suckered in.

Brody:
You ever been in a terrorist chat room?

LaSalle:
It's not on my bucket list.

Calloway:
You think I asked to meet at the the local zoo, I must be a spy!

Pride:
We think you're a spy because you have the Agency written all over you!

LaSalle:
'Work husband'? Now what in the Sam Hill does that mean?

Brody:
It's a thing, everyone knows it! And you're Sonja's.

LaSalle:
I spy with my little eye... what looks like explosive residue.

LaSalle:
Look, you don't let the secrets out, they'll take you out.

Brody:
Now, is it just me, or does it look like we stepped into a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

LaSalle:
[on a suspect just killed in a car accident] Apparently, he doesn't abide by Click It or Ticket.

LaSalle:
I'm not a creeper, I'm a coworker.

Brody:
You're a work husband!

Patton:
I know this woman! Pride. She leave her socks on the floor? Yes. She cheat on the Sunday crosswords? Regularly. But she would never steal money from her own charity. And she damn sure wouldn't bother trying to kill anyone!

Patton:
The only difference between this computer and those nasty zombies on The Walking Dead is this thing is actually deceased.

Laurel:
No, Dad. Music is what you love. It's just what I do.

Wade:
[on Pride's busy life] Your work... the bar... your daughter... not to mention the bounty on your head...

Kayla Anderson:
You're a federal agent?

Patton:
Well, I like to think of it more like superhero. When NCIS needs me, I swoop in to save the day.

Percy:
Well, you are the guy who said JFK got abducted by aliens.

Sebastian:
I don't say that. The evidence does.

LaSalle:
[about some intoxicated female witnesses] One less daiquiri, and they could've been useful.

Percy:
You sure you don't want to give it another try?

Brody:
Practice your 'enhanced interrogation techniques'?

LaSalle:
Y'all have dirty minds.

Pride:
Well, we just need one reason to have ten days of fun.

Pride:
They'll be relocating to this prison soon.

Zed:
Guess I'll have some company.

Pride:
No, Zed. You won't.

Wade:
You're perfectly able to look after yourself normally, but when things get personal, I can't help but worry about your judgment.

Pride:
Loretta!

Wade:
That you may end up on the wrong side of my autopsy table.

LaSalle:
Then you get the recent additions to the I hate Dwayne Pride club.

Lamont:
I don't know how you Navy cops work a case, but I do it like I'm walking down the street - one foot in front of the other.

Percy:
Look, I've been where you are, Laurel. I *know* how you feel.

Laurel:
How do you get over it?

Percy:
You don't. You learn to live with it. You survive it. You survive.

LaSalle:
You know me, I'm always up for a good party!

Pride:
Face-to-face with mortality affects a person. You're no different. Denyin' it doesn't do you or anyone else any good.

Wade:
We all die, Sebastian. That doesn't mean we don't celebrate the life that was led.

Pride:
Killin' a man at another man's funeral. Doesn't get much worse than that.

LaSalle:
Where I grew up, you live, you die, you get buried -- no fuss, no muss. Besides, I appreciate life just fine, thank you.

Percy:
I'm sure you do. You live, you party, meet some girls, party some more. No fuss, no muss.

LaSalle:
Something like that!

Brody:
You wanna explain why you karate-chopped my coffee back there?

Brody:
I smell you, Nancy Drew!

Pride:
In this room, your stars mean nothing! Now sit down!

LaSalle:
I don't care what track he's on. Fraternizing with a superior officer is no bueno.

Sam Nilsen:
That's an assumption!

LaSalle:
No, sir. Observation.

Blake:
She tried to take you away from me!

Elaine:
So you tried to blow her up?!

Brody:
I thought I was buying you dinner?

Special Agent John Russo:
Saved you the receipt!

Taylor:
I'm clean! I reinvented myself.

Percy:
Oh, is that why you've been missing all those meetings with your probation officer?

Pride:
[on the former Marine he hired] Did I mention? He plays a mean banjo!

Patton:
After all of that, you hired the guy who tried to blow your head off?!

LaSalle:
[on two foreign operatives posing as husband and wife] It looks like they were trying to make baby agents!

Brody:
Since when do we threaten family members?

Russo:
Since they started decapitating people.

Percy:
Who knew Alabama here SCUBA dived?

LaSalle:
Roll Tide!

LaSalle:
[hugging Percy tightly] I'm glad you didn't die.

Percy:
You're an ass!

Russo:
I'm a patriot. Just not for your side.

Brody:
[on a pen that's actually a stun gun] Am I supposed to write for help?

Patton:
[regarding Russo] He makes a Boy Scout look corrupt!

LaSalle:
You hired a new bar manager just in time to become Mr. Fix-it at home!