Oz, Season Five

Timmy Kirk:
If you're not part of the solution, you're Satan's tool.

Hill:
All Vikings were not stupid brutes. They had moments of brilliance. They were such great shipbuilders and sailors that Leif Eriksson and his crew landed in America first. Some say, travelling as far South as New York harbour. Here's where the true brilliance comes in : they took a look, turned around and went home.

Chris Keller:
Show me your tits.

Sister Pete:
Don't do that.

Chris Keller:
Sorry.

Timmy Kirk:
I want to become a Roman Catholic again.

Father Ray Mukada:
No.

Timmy Kirk:
What? You can't refuse me!

Father Ray Mukada:
I sure as hell can.

McManus:
I'm sorry Rebadow, it's your word against his. The word of a correctional officer against the word of an inmate... who is known to talk to God.

Winthrope:
How the mighty hath fallen.

Guenzel:
F*** you faggot.

Schillinger:
GUENZEL!

Guenzel:
Oh, hi Vern. Your buddies in Emerald City send their regards.

Schillinger:
SHUT UP!

Guenzel:
But I was just.... [gets bitch-slapped]

Schillinger:
Speak when you're spoken to!

[The Aryans drag Guenzel into a broom closet]

Winthrope:
Sir. May I watch?

Schillinger:
If you don't, how will you ever learn. .

Yood:
Don't take any wooden nickels.

Keller:
Do you think Jesus was a fag?

Sister Peter Marie:
What?

Keller:
Do you think Jesus was a fag? It's a legitimate question.

Sister Peter Marie:
Are you trying to provoke me? Mock my religion?

Keller:
Nope, just looking for a role model. Jesus was divine and human simultaneously, right?

[Sister nods]

Keller:
Did the divine part control his sexual appetites? And if so, what chance have I got? I'm not divine, far from it, and I mean all my life anytime I've gotten the urge... I've stuck my cock into any cavity that was open and available.

Arif:
You were right Imam, Allah has punished him for his sins.

[to Robson]

Arif:
Hey, how's the mouth?

Augustus Hill:
Oz, the name on the street for the Oswald State Correctional Facility Level Four. Oz is filled with murderers, rapists, racists, drug dealers with the most common of criminals. But what is it that makes a man common? Better yet, what makes him unique? Winning wars, winning awards? No. What lifts a man out of the ordinary is who he loves and who loves him.

Eugenia Hill:
The tears are for Augustus, my little emperor. Locked in a cell, down in that wretched place, half his body dead. And damn all I keep thinking of is his first step.

Augustus Hill:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, lots of fine people have sat staring at the inside of prison walls. Socrates, Gandhi, Joan of Arc, Even our Lord Jesus Christ. He spent the last night of his life not with holy men, but with scum like the kind we've got in Oz. One of the last things Jesus did on earth was invite a prisoner to join him in heaven. He loved that criminal. I say, he loved that criminal as much as he loved anyone. Jesus knew in his heart it takes a lot to love a sinner. But the sinner, he needs it all the more.

Miguel Alvarez:
Yeah. I cut my own face. You know what I'm saying? I shoved a shank in Rivera's eyes. You know what I'm saying? I slit Vasquez's throat. You know what I'm saying? I handle a knife better then a fucking surgeon. I got nothing to prove to you brother. Nothing. Come on! Get the fuck out of my face! Hey Giles. Don't think I've forgotten about you sticking me right? [grabs Giles] Little fucking cocksucker. Yeah! Yeah!

Jim Burns:
The Reverend Cloutier was in my cell last night.

Timmy Kirk:
For what, a blowjob? [Hoyt laughs]

Jim Burns:
This ain't funny.

Jaz Hoyt:
You had a dream.

Jim Burns:
Hey, it was no dream.

Jaz Hoyt:
Chickenshit.

Timmy Kirk:
You're tryin' to get outta the job. Go kill the cocksucker.

Jim Burns:
No!

Jaz Hoyt:
No?

Jim Burns:
He told me to kill you!

Jaz Hoyt:
It's self defense. It's, it's motherfuckin' self defense. I got witnesses, you got nothin' on me. There was fuckin' 10 guys there.

Leo Glynn:
Put him in the hole.

Corrections Officer:
Get up.

Jaz Hoyt:
Self defense!

Chucky Pancamo:
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just give me a fucking Band aid.

Agent Taylor:
You know a man named Gaetano Sensetta?

Chucky Pancamo:
Not that I recall.

Agent Taylor:
You don't know him?

Chucky Pancamo:
Not that I recall.

Agent Taylor:
You never met him?

Chucky Pancamo:
Not that I recall.

Agent Taylor:
That's odd. Mr. Sensetta, who just blabbed his way into the witness protection program, says you hired him to kill someone. Hank Schillinger. Do you know Hank Schillinger?

Chucky Pancamo:
Not that I recall.

Agent Taylor:
He's the son of Vernon Schillinger. Do you know Vernon Schillinger?

Chucky Pancamo:
Not that I recall.

Agent Taylor:
He's a fellow resident here at Oswald. You remember him now?

Chucky Pancamo:
To the best of my recollection-

Agent Taylor:
Recollection.

Chucky Pancamo:
I don't know the fucking guy.

Agent Taylor:
Chris Keller confessed to hiring a hit man to kill Hank Schillinger, only he never identified whom. Mr. Sensetta says he's never heard of Keller. We give Keller a lie detector test, turns out Keller lied about his part in the murder. Now why do you think he would do that?

Chucky Pancamo:
Nice tie.

Agent Taylor:
Okay. Officer, take this weasel back to whatever hole he crawled out of. I guess my next conversations with Vern Schillinger. I wonder if he'll remember you.

Ryan O'Reily:
Who are all these numbnuts who play the lottery?

Agamemmnon Busmalis:
I played the lottery.

Tobias Beecher:
Me too.

Ryan O'Reily:
Like I said. Numbnuts. Out of 51 numbers, you got to pick the right number not once, but six times in a row.

Agamemmnon Busmalis:
I say it is possible to win.

Ryan O'Reily:
Jesus Christ, Busmalis. You'd have a better chance of getting struck by lightening.

Agamemmnon Busmalis:
Approximately 1,000 people a year win a million dollars or more in North American lotteries. In contrast, less then a hundred people a year hit by lightening.

Inmate:
Hey. What can I do for you?

Vern Schillinger:
Came to pick up the pool table.

James Robson:
Yeah, is it fixed yet?

Inmate:
Yeah. The ball return was a little hinkey, but I unhinkied it.

Peter Schibetta:
Hey. You have the toaster done?

Inmate:
Hold your Calvins, Bochi boy. I'm in the middle of something.

Peter Schibetta:
Yeah well, I got lunch coming so these jokers can wait.

Vern Schillinger:
We don't wait for Wops.

Peter Schibetta:
Someone's going to teach you manners, Vernon.

Vern Schillinger:
Yeah well, It ain't going to be you prag.

[Schibetta takes out a shank and tries to stab Schillinger]

James Robson:
Oh hey! Look out!

[Schillinger grabs Schibetta while Robson & Inmate punch him, who both pin Schibetta to the pool table]

Peter Schibetta:
Fuck off! Let me up!

Vern Schillinger:
You know...

Peter Schibetta:
Let me up!

Vern Schillinger:
I always wondered, [dips hand into black grease] was Adebisi's dick bigger then mine?

Peter Schibetta:
No! Fuck you! fuck! No!

Vern Schillinger:
You be the judge.

Peter Schibetta:
No!

Greg Penders:
Well I'm out of solitary and I want to stay out. So I think the best thing for me to do is to avoid any...umm...altercations. Which means as little face time with the other prisoners as possible. So I want to know if, instead of working in the shop, if you can get me a job here.

Leo Glynn:
In my office?

Greg Penders:
Yes.

Leo Glynn:
No.

Greg Penders:
Warden don't you-

Leo Glynn:
Don't say I owe you. I have a very negative reaction to that. Your presence here would only remind me on a day to day basis of what happened to Clayton Hughes. So the answer is no. In fact, if you see me coming, hide, because the best thing for me is to stick you back in solitary. Stay out of my sight. Alright? [to CO] Officer.

Greg Penders:
Warden, that's not right. That's not right.

Leo Glynn:
Bye.

Greg Penders:
That's not right.

Vern Schillinger:
Officer Brass. Good to see you.

Dave Brass:
Yeah? Why's that?

Vern Schillinger:
Glynn's bringing more and more nigger COs in here every day. In my book, any pale face is a good pale face.

Dave Brass:
Let me ask you something. Were you around the day I got cut?

Vern Schillinger:
No. Me and Robson were on work detail. Believe me, if I'd have been here I'd have pulled that monkey off you.

Dave Brass:
So you know which monkey it was?

Vern Schillinger:
Who exactly, no. I guarantee you this though. It wasn't a white man.

Carlos Martinez:
Hey Brass.

Dave Brass:
Yeah.

Carlos Martinez:
You drink?

Dave Brass:
Why? You want to go grab a couple of beers?

Carlos Martinez:
How about a blood, piss, shit, and puke cocktail, mother fucker? [throws the contents at Brass' face]

Dave Brass:
Ah! Ah! Son of a bitch!

Kareem Said:
Homosexuality is a perversion against Gods will.

Vern Schillinger:
I agree.

Kareem Said:
And yet you practice sodomy yourself.

Vern Schillinger:
I'm no faggot.

Kareem Said:
You raped Beecher. And Cyril O'Reily and God knows how many others.

Vern Schillinger:
I never touched anybody.

Tobias Beecher:
You lying cock sucking fuck.

Sister Peter Marie:
Tobias-

Tobias Beecher:
How can you deny what you did? Get up!

Sister Peter Marie:
Tobias!

Tobias Beecher:
Get up!

Sister Peter Marie:
Officer! Stop it!

Hack:
Come on!

Tobias Beecher:
Come on! Fuck! You fucking lying bitch! You lying fucking sack of shit.

Adam Guenzel:
This will be the first time I ever have to make my own bed.

Tobias Beecher:
Adam, take my word. Nothing you experienced growing up in Bryant Park has prepared you for life in Oz. I know it's hard but I'll be here for you. I promise. Your dad was my scoutmaster for God's sake.

Adam Guenzel:
You have to understand something. That girl Franklin and I raped... We were drunk. All of us. Partying. I blacked out. I never meant to hurt her.

Tobias Beecher:
Yeah but you did. That's why you're standing where you're standing. Don't forget that. Ever. The guilt may keep you sane. Get settled and uh...I'll introduce you around.

Carmen "Chico" Guerra:
Whoa, what the fuck is this, man?

Agememnon Busmalis:
Ms. Sally's new TV series, Sallycise. It's a health and exercise show.

Carmen "Chico" Guerra:
Yeah, well, one of my muscles is already getting bigger.

James Robson:
Mail call.

Omar White:
Yo um, you got Minister Said's mail in there?

James Robson:
You know Omar, I discovered that the Minister and I have something in common.

Omar White:
Yeah Okay.

James Robson:
We both support slavery. For me, slavery don't exist anymore. Which is a damn shame. But according to this book in the library, for those Muslims slavery is alive and well in Africa. That's right. I figured Said must have known that too since he went and got himself one. You. White: The fuck you jabbing about man? I need to...I ain't nobody's mother fucking slave and shit man.

James Robson:
You tote that barge. You lift that bail. Yous his house nigger.

Omar White:
You mother fucker!

Kareem Said:
Omar. Come here.

Omar White:
Yo look, I know I ain't supposed to fight and shit but ...Don't no motherfucking body talk to me like that!

Kareem Said:
Come here now!

Omar White:
Fuck. I am a fucking nigger. Fuck.

Faraj:
You know, with all your warped ideology, I bet you never gave much thought to why Adolf was so pissed off at the Jews. One theory is that he was traumatized by the death of his mother. She died of breast cancer and she was in the care of a Jewish physician, so, of course, the repressed hatred erupted itself into the Holocaust. Now, another theory is that Hitler's father was the illegitimate son of a German woman and some obscure Jewish man, and so Hitler himself had impure blood - Hey, now, now don't make me slip, because if I do, we are both in trouble, hmm? You know, it's amazing. We don't even know where these gums come from. I mean, this could be the gums of a kike, a spic, or even a faggot. You could be getting the beautiful gums of a big, black nigger.

Cyril O'Reily:
We have to give the puppet a name.

Sister Peter Marie:
Good. What do you want to call him?

Cyril O'Reily:
Jericho.

Sister Peter Marie:
Why Jericho?

Cyril O'Reily:
'Cause the walls came tumbling down.

Sister Peter Marie:
I want to find the three men who raped Schibetta.

Leo Glynn:
Why?

Sister Peter Marie:
Why, Leo? Why?

Leo Glynn:
Look, we're doing everything we can to keep the number of reported rapes down.

Sister Peter Marie:
Reported? Listen to you. Your own daughter was raped.

Leo Glynn:
This is different. This is Oz.

Sister Peter Marie:
Rape is rape, Leo.

Leo Glynn:
I don't agree. Here, rape has a a leveling effect. Peter Schibetta, from the day he arrived, wanted to be a tough guy, wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, running things, hurting people. Well, he got stopped by Adebisi. Now he got stopped again.

Sister Peter Marie:
What's going on? Do you have something personal against Schibetta?

Leo Glynn:
No, no, simply survival of the fittest, as natural and basic as Darwin.

Sister Peter Marie:
You and I have disagreed about a lot of things over the years, but this is--

Leo Glynn:
Peter Marie--

Sister Peter Marie:
"A leveling effect"? You want rape to do your job?

Franklin Winthrop:
How the mighty have fallen.

Adam Guenzel:
Fuck you, faggot.

Vern Schillinger:
Guenzel.

Adam Guenzel:
Hey, Vern. The boys in Em City send their regards.

Vern Schillinger:
Shut up.

Adam Guenzel:
Hey, I was just - [Vern slaps Guenzel] God, what the fuck was -

Vern Schillinger:
You'll speak when you're spoken to.

[Aryans drag Guenzel into a broom closet to rape him]

Adam Guenzel:
Hey, get the fuck off me! Get off of me!

Franklin Winthrop:
Sir, sir, may I watch?

Vern Schillinger:
Well, if you don't, how are you ever gonna learn?

Vern Schillinger:
Not much of a meal there.

James Robson:
Yeah, nothing cold or crunchy.

Inmate:
Why, are you on a diet?

James Robson:
Because it hurts, dipshit, do I look fat to you? Goddamn it! Suddenly ice cream, croutons, it's like getting your gums raked. What the fuck is that?

Inmate:
They're probably recessive. My old man had bad gums.

Vern Schillinger:
When's the last time you got a cleaning?

James Robson:
I don't know, five or six years ago. I hate the fucking dentist.

Inmate:
Don't fuck around with you mouth. My old man didn't deal, his mouth ended up a train wreck.

Vern Schillinger:
If I was you, I'd see Dr. Faraj. You don't want to be slurping turkey milk shakes in middle age.

James Robson:
Faraj? I don't want some sand niggers paws probing in my mouth.

Vern Schillinger:
They wear gloves now, you know, since AIDS came along.

James Robson:
Oh.

Vern Schillinger:
Jesus, how long has it really been?

Ryan O'Reily:
When I was a kid and all this shit was going down in our house, my dad was wailing on us non-stop, so I went to our pastor. I had a welt on my back the size of this fist, so, I asked to good Monsignor if he could please talk to my dad and ask him to stop beating on us. He said if my dad hit us it was because we were bad and we deserved to be punished. Then he told me to go home and honor thy father.

Timmy Kirk:
Clarence Seroy is a lying sack of shit.

Leo Glynn:
Funny, that's what you said when Jaz Hoyt implicated you in Jim Burns' murder.

Timmy Kirk:
I'm innocent.

Leo Glynn:
No, you're a guilty little prick who's finally going to take responsibility for the shit storms you created.

Timmy Kirk:
You've got no hard core evidence that either I set up the arson or was involved in Hoyt killing Burns. It's still their word against mine.

Leo Glynn:
Think you got the system beat huh? Well, I've been around a lot longer then you, Kirk. Ray Mukada is a friend of mine. He's lying in a hospital, and that's pissing me off. Pissing me off royal.

James Robson:
Just soup.

Arnold "Poet" Jackson:
Sure you don't want no chitlins and gravy to go with that?

James Robson:
What?

Ryan O'Reily:
Shall we? [cafeteria staff bang utensils loudly] Everyone, listen up. Robson here went to the dentist and got himself a nice pair of dirty ghetto gums.

[Whole cafeteria erupts in laughter]

James Robson:
Thanks Vern.

Vern Schillinger:
I didn't say a fucking word. [To Poet, who is laughing] Shut up, you goddamn nigger, just give him some soup!

Arnold "Poet" Jackson:
[to Robson] Whoa, You going to take that, G, man calling your brother a nigger and all? [Robson intimidates Poet] Hey, don't get stupid. Don't want me to Sammy Sosa that jaw with this here spoon.

Claire Howell:
Keep it moving, girls.

Vern Schillinger:
Now, you all know how highly I've esteemed... James Robson, but the past, unfortunately, is nothing more then the past. Satan has scored a very ugly victory, and it pains me that Robson is a casualty. We must, never the less, abide by out principals, not our feelings. As of today, James Robson is no longer a part of the Brotherhood.

James Robson:
Hey. Jesus. Don't do this to me, Vern. You guys are all I got in here.

Vern Schillinger:
It's not my choice, James, we've got a charter to fallow. You know that charter better then anybody.

James Robson:
I asked the fucking dentist. He said he put white mans gums in my mouth. White.

Vern Schillinger:
Really? 'Cause that bruise Dr. Faraj planted on your cheek is blue. That tells me you didn't get the answer you were looking for. Tomorrow you're moving to another cell.

Arnold "Poet" Jackson:
Oh, lookie here, my stepbrother. Feels good talking with a black man's gums, don't it?

James Robson:
I need a shit load of tits, now.

Arnold "Poet" Jackson:
You? All that Aryan drug free bullshit just bullshit ain't it?

James Robson:
Will you shut your fucking corn trap and hook me? Or I can take my cash elsewhere.

Arnold "Poet" Jackson:
Alright, man.

Agememnon Busmalis:
Hey. I'm real sorry about little Alex.

Bob Rebadow:
You know, you try to prepare for a death, but always secretly you believe there's a chance that the doctors were wrong, that they'll find a cure, and that as long as he's alive there's time. So, while you think you're stealing yourself, all you're really doing is waiting on the miracle, which is why, when death comes, it's so horrible, because you realize...you weren't prepared at all.

Agememnon Busmalis:
But you knew last night.

Bob Rebadow:
On some level. 30-something years ago it was a power outage that saved me from execution, but last night the electricity finally came back to finish the job, except so much time had passed that my grandson was now in the chair. I never really liked this hat, but now that he's passed away, I understand this hat. This was my Grandson at his most alive.

Seamus O'Reily:
Suddenly, I'm famous. I done six interviews, newspapers and TV, ever since that nonsense with your brother started. I got to admit I'm getting kind of used to the attention. They guy's down at Kelsey's, they've been buying me rounds every night. And there's this broad, sits at the end of the bar, she's been flirting with me. I might just fuck her.

Ryan O'Reily:
You going to see Cyril while you're in the building?

Seamus O'Reily:
Yeah, yeah. I guess I oughta. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to say to that boy.

Ryan O'Reily:
Tell him you love him.

Seamus O'Reily:
Oh, yeah, right.

Ryan O'Reily:
You ever told Cyril that, dad? Cyril or anyone? Ma? Tessie when you were married? Have the words 'I love you' ever crossed your lips. Because I never heard them, not once.

Seamus O'Reily:
Don't start with your whining.

Ryan O'Reily:
I'm sorry, I forgot how sensitive you are.

Seamus O'Reily:
You asked me to come, I'm here. State your business.

Ryan O'Reily:
I want to talk about Carolyn.

Seamus O'Reily:
Carolyn? What about her?

Ryan O'Reily:
I want to talk about the day she died. I remember her crying, you know, non-stop for what seemed like hours. Tessie couldn't get her quiet. You were drunk and in a foul mood. Sit down!

Seamus O'Reily:
Fuck you!

Ryan O'Reily:
You sit...or I finish telling my story to a cop. Carolyn was crying and you took her from Tessie's arms and you put your hands around her and you shook her and you shook her and you shook her until she stopped, until she went limp like a rag doll.

Seamus O'Reily:
She fell out of her crib.

Ryan O'Reily:
No. I was there, Dad. I was in the doorway. I saw what happened.

Seamus O'Reily:
You were just a kid. What the fuck did you know about anything? Think my old man didn't beat me, that fucking scumbag? My life has been nothing but shit since the day I was born, and I didn't have no brother to lean on like you did. I been alone my whole fucking life, and soon...you will be, too.

Ryan O'Reily:
I'll never tell anyone the truth about what happened with Carolyn. That's between you and me. But, Dad...You better pray to Jesus Christ almighty himself that I never get out of this place, because when I do...I will kill you.

Augustus Hill:
[final words] I-- I-- I can feel my legs.