Oz, Season One

Hill:
Oz, that's the name on the street for the Oswald Maximum Security Penitentiary. Oz is retro, Oz is retribution. You wanna punish a man? Separate him from his family, separate him from himself, cage him up with his own kind.

Schillinger:
Like my tattoos? I'm going to get you one.

Beecher:
No, thanks.

Schillinger:
Oh, yeah, I'm going to brand you myself.

Beecher:
Livestock gets branded.

Schillinger:
Yeah, livestock, that's what you are... my livestock. Because now, Tobias, your ass belongs to me.

Wittlesey:
There's something in the air. And it ain't love.

Said:
I would give my life for you.

Keane:
You gonna have to.

Sister Pete:
Tim, we gotta talk.

McManus:
About what?

Sister Pete:
About sex.

McManus:
Sister, you're insatiable.

Joey:
He ate his mother.

Nino:
Get the f*** out of here!

Joey:
So I heard. He killed her, then he broiled her head. Smothered it in onions.

Dino:
What, no garlic?

Burrano:
Donald Groves. You killed your parents and ate them, right?

Groves:
I only ate my mom. I was saving my dad for Thanksgiving.

Burrano:
That's festive.

Groves:
I saw 'em carry him out. Looked like a roasted, broiled chicken. His flesh was all brown and crispy. He looked good enough to eat.

Burrano:
No? He's ordering you around all day, "boy do this, boy do that", it never pissed you off?

Keane:
He never called me "boy".

Markstrom:
You not gonna kiss the bride? (Adebisi grabs Keane and tries to kiss him)

Hill:
God made sunsets full of color and God made race horses that run in a flash. God made the orange, the apple and strawberries, but God's greatest creation is pussy. I don't mean to be crude or nothing but... you can have all the sunsets, horses and fruit there is, just give me all the pussy in the world. F***, I don't need all the pussy, just one a day. Every day.

Rebadow:
God comes to visit me every once in a while. Actually, he comes more often than I'd like but it's God. What can I say? That I'm busy, that I'm in the shower? He knows.

Burrano:
We talking about a burning bush here?

Rebadow:
No, it's more like a strobe. A little too flashy, a little cheesy for my taste.

Adebisi:
(while signing up for conjecal visits, he hears that wheelchair-bound Hill never knows when he has an erection) You don't know if you're hard?

Hill:
I got no sensation down there, so I don't know when I'm hard, I don't know when I cum. My wife's gotta tell me.

Adebisi:
You don't know if you're hard? You don't know if you've cum? You don't get any pleasure at all? What the f*** are you doing it for?

Hill:
For her.

Hill:
And love? Well, if sex is sweet and death is bitter, love is both. Love will always and forever break your heart.

Groves:
Wait, Father, maybe I'm a convert.

Mukada:
You can't become a Catholic just to get out of the hole. Come on.

Groves:
No, no, wait. I've been reading a lot since I got here about different faiths and yours is pretty nifty.

Mukada:
Catholicism is nifty?

Groves:
You have that whole mystical transabstentiation bit going.

Mukada:
That's right. The Eucharist becomes the body of Christ.

Groves:
So you're actually eating his flesh and drinking his blood.

Mukada:
That's right.

Groves:
Now how can I not get behind a religion like that?

Schillinger:
Hey there, sweet pea. How was church? You feeling all sanctified and pure? Get undressed. We're taking a shower.

Beecher:
I already had a shower.

Schillinger:
Oh, that's all right. When I'm done with you, you'll need another one.

Hill:
Clememcy. Thats a fancy word for mercy. The Governor can commute a death sentence. He has the power to pick up the phone and just say No. But to me, the only time the Governor shows clemency is when he don't make that call. Life in prison without parole is a shitload worse than death. Death is parole. Death is mercy

Kenny:
Yo Markstram, man. What if Keane didn't kill Martinez? What if they got the wrong guy?

Markstram:
He did it, Kenny.

Kenny:
Look, I know he did it! I'm just saying, what if he didn't?

Joey:
All I'm saying, Nino, is you gotta wonder what the guy's doing; what the guy's thinking sitting on Death Row knowing he's gonna die!

Nino:
The only difference between you and him, Joey, is he knows the exact date he'll die!

Schillinger:
The state's gonna let Keane pick his method of execution. Me, I'd pick hanging.

Mack:
What about lethal injection?

Schillinger:
That's for pussies.

Groves:
They say lethal injection causes no pain. How do they know? Did someone come back from the dead and say they didn't feel anything?

Hill:
Its rare when You say goodbye to someone that You know its going to be the last Time.You can try and say all those things You should have said before.Or You can hold on and hope that the moment will last a Lifetime

Keane:
(Last Words) I wanna tell my family that I love them and I believe that this punishes them more than it does me. I am so sorry for the three murders I did and I wish that, by killing me today, you could bring them back. My time in this world has been far too short. Too short to get it all done right. So I am ready to move on. All praise to Allah. All praise.

L'Italien:
(Last Words) I am really not ready for this. Oh, man.

Alvarez:
Father, where was God when my son died?

Mukada:
Same place He was when His own son died.

Ross:
I'm gonna give you ten minutes to get your hand off my dick!

Schillinger:
[upon seeing Beecher dressed in drag] My God! You're even prettier than I thought you'd be!

Nino:
You like tits?

Markstram:
Who doesn't?

Nino:
My tits are firm and round. Maybe you could suck my tits?

Markstram:
You know, I know a lot of brothers who would love to.

Hill:
Tits! That's what we call drugs. 60% of the violence in prison is due to tits! Either people not paying their dues or people trying to control the traffic. The traffic. (scoffs) Lately, here in Oz, the traffic has been bumper to bumper!

Dr. Prestopnik:
You have to take something, or you'll die!

Said:
Oh believe me, doctor, I have no intention of dying!

O'Reily:
If you gotta go, you gotta go high.

O'Reily:
We gotta make him think that we're enemies. Keep him off guard until we kill him.

Adebisi:
We kill him, the mob kills us.

O'Reily:
They won't know. Not if we put this in his food.

Adebisi:
Glass?

O'Reily:
We make it fine, he won't be able to taste it. Over time, the glass will cut his insides up.

Adebisi:
He'll die slowly.

O'Reily:
But painfully.

Adebisi:
You're one sick mother f***er, O'Reily.

O'Reily:
Coming from you, that's a compliment.

Mershah:
(seeing Said is having a heart attack) It is the hand of God! It is the will of Allah!

Said:
Call a doctor!

Mershah:
You must go ahead and die.

Beecher:
I hated Myself so I drank too much.And I hated Myself for drinking too much so to punish Myself I drank more.Sister...I don't wanna hate Me any more

Kenny:
I ain't afraid of you.

McManus:
(begins choking Kenny, yelling) You afraid of this?! Huh?! ARE YOU AFRAID OF DYING?!

Hill:
You gotta love your body because it's all you got to hold on to. It's all you got! I'll make a deal with you: I'll love your body if you love mine!

Hill:
'At least you got your health.' Don't you hate that? You lose your job, you lose your wife, YOU'RE IN PRISON, and some punk ass do gooder says 'At least you got your health' like that's supposed to make you FEEL better! So what if I'm broke? So what if some dealer wants to cap my ass; at least I ain't got a tumor. I swear, the next person to say ALYGYH to me, I'ma make sure they don't have THEIR health much longer.

Said:
Husseini Mershah! You saw that I was dying and yet you walked away? You wanted me to die!

Mershah:
No, minister--

Said:
NO! This man is not our brother! He is our enemy! As of this moment, this man is cast out! No Muslim will speak to him, look him in the eye, or acknowledge him! You wanted the death of another? Well, right now you're dead to us all!

Groves:
(trying to repeat an Islamic greeting)A-salami-I-like-'em.

Mrs Smith:
(To Groves after He killed her son) You broke God's law:Love thy neighbour.I want to hate You but I can't.I feel pity,tears but no hate.I didn't realise that until now.You're My neighbour and I Love You.And I forgive You with all My heart

Augustus Hill:
Remember when your High School History teacher said "The course of human events changes because of the deeds of great men"?. Well the bitch was lying. F*** Caesar, f*** Lincoln, f*** Mahatma Gandhi. The world keeps turning because of me and you: the anonymous. Revolutions start because people don't have enough bread. Wars start over a game of Checkers.

Schillinger:
I had a visit from my sons. They're almost out of their teens now, almost men. Yesterday my boys sat there across from me ranting and raging. They were both f***ed up on drugs. They know I hate drugs, that I'm in here because I hate drugs and because I love them. I got about three months until I'm up for parole. All I want to do is get out of here, be there for them. Try to help my kids. That's all.

McManus:
If I put you back into Em City, you'll kill Beecher.

Schillinger:
If I wanted him dead, he'd already be dead.

McManus:
You say you've changed. Why should I believe you?

Schillinger:
(smiles) Trust me, McManus. You lose an eye, you get kicked in the balls, you get a face full of shit, you become a different man.

Schillinger:
I don't want any trouble.

Beecher:
No, of course not! You get into a fight, you f*** up your parole! And I hear that for the next few months, you're gonna be a good little boy so you can get out of Oz and save your two sons. You know, I think that's great. But what I'm wondering is: what if Vern never gets out? What if, as he comes up for parole, he gets into a brawl? A knock-down drag-out with his old roomie! What if, every time he comes up for parole, Vern gets into some ugly incident and has to serve his entire sentence? And his two sons, they become monsters. (laughs) That's just what I'm wondering about. Prag.

Said:
Now, I am not saying that the men in Oz are innocent. I am saying they are not here because of the crimes that they committed, but because of the color of their skin, the lack of education, the fact that they are poor. You see, this riot is not about getting smoking back, conjugal rights, it's not even about life in prison. It's about society taking responsibility. It's about the whole horrid judicial system. And we don't need more prisons, bigger prisons, better prisons. We need better justice. Now what can you do about that?

Hill:
Yeah, who cares who lives or dies in prison? We read their names in the morning paper and they mean nothing to us! They're faceless! Truth is we don't want to put a face on them! We don't want to know who they really are because then it might hit too close to home. And home is what it's all about, right? Making a home no matter where you are, no matter who you are. At the end of the day, all of us need somewhere to rest. Somewhere to lay our bones. Even if it's in a land called Oz. Yeah, like Dorothy says when she wakes up in her own bed back at Aunt Em's: "There's no place like home. There's no f***ing place like home!"

Augustus Hill:
Oz is where I live. Oz is where I will die, where most of us will die. What we were don't matter. What we are don't matter. What we become don't matter. Does it?

[after Beecher moves into Schillinger's pod]

Vernon Schillinger:
You're not a Jew, are you?

Tobias Beecher:
Me? Jewish? I don't even like Barbra Streisand.

Vernon Schillinger:
You like my tattoos?

Tobias Beecher:
Yeah.

Vernon Schillinger:
We're gonna have to get you one.

Tobias Beecher:
[laughs] I don't think so.

Vernon Schillinger:
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna brand you myself.

Tobias Beecher:
Livestock gets branded.

Vernon Schillinger:
[chuckles] Livestock. Yeah, that's exactly what you are, my livestock. Because now, Tobias. Your ass belongs to me.

Tim McManus:
In Em City we treat each other the way that we would like to be treated. We treat each other with respect.

Kareem Said:
And what happens when one of us does not respect the other?

Tim McManus:
There's violence.

Kareem Said:
Then prison life isn't all that different from the outside world.

Tim McManus:
Your celebrity status doesn't buy you any extra advantages here. All my prisoners are equal.

Kareem Said:
How ironic. To finally be an equal in a place where I do not have the freedom to enjoy it.

Augustus Hill:
People kill to stay alive. That's as true in prison as out. I wonder why in here we fight so hard to stay alive. A man gets sentenced to 100 years, he really thinks if he exercises, gets all buff, stays diesel, he's gonna walk out? A judge says life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. Without the possibility. Lifers. At some point they realize they ain't going nowhere. I seen it happen. A calm comes in their eyes. It's like they figured out something that the rest of us are never gonna see. They're suddenly free in a whole other kinda way. They're ready to die. And maybe they do what they can to help that shit along.

Augustus Hill:
Fuck is a four letter word. Rape is a four letter word. Wife is a four letter word. So is love. Fuck is a curse. So is love.

Vern Schillinger:
Come over here and ask me if you can fuck your wife. Come on, ask me! Now!

Tobias Beecher:
Can I be with my wife?

Vern Schillinger:
Fuck my wife.

Tobias Beecher:
Fuck my wife.

Vern Schillinger:
Louder, and say "please" and "sir".

Tobias Beecher:
Please, sir, may I fuck my wife?

Vern Schillinger:
Louder.

Tobias Beecher:
Please, sir, may I fuck my wife!

Vern Schillinger:
When you ask me like that, I can't deny you anything.

Tim McManus:
I'm gonna arrange for you to visit your wife in the hospital.

Nino Schibetta:
That's very considerate of you. But forgive me, I'm cynical by nature. Why are you being so considerate to me?

Tim McManus:
It's hard enough her being this ill without you being able to, uh...

Nino Schibetta:
Say goodbye? What do you want from me?

Tim McManus:
Your continued patience.

Nino Schibetta:
You're gonna find out who killed Dino?

Tim McManus:
Yes.

Nino Schibetta:
And you're gonna bring him to justice.

Tim McManus:
Now you're laughing at me.

Nino Schibetta:
As I said, I'm a cynical bastard.

Augustus Hill:
In the beginning, God was nothingness. So he started making stuff. He made the dirt, he made the sky, he made the water, he made things that swim, things that slither, things with legs. I mean, God turned himself into a big shot. Then, in a couple of days, or a couple of million years, he breathed life into man. And he's been sucking the life out of us ever since.

Tim McManus:
You are creating a lot of the tension that we're dealing with right here.

James Devlin:
How am I doing that?

Tim McManus:
Well, you ban smoking, you ban conjugals. Bit by bit you're stripping these men of their basic human needs.

James Devlin:
This is a prison. These men are criminals. The whole point is to strip them of their basic human needs. If a kneejerk prissy liberal would see that we wouldn't be having the problems we're having today.

Tim McManus:
The campaign is over, Governor, so get off your soapbox.

James Devlin:
McManus, when you look at me, what do you see?

Tim McManus:
A man.

James Devlin:
You've heard of Olympus, right? Mount Olympus, ancient Greece, where the gods lived?

Tim McManus:
Yeah.

James Devlin:
Well, it was a hierarchy, even among the gods. Mercury was lesser than Apollo, Apollo lesser than Zeus. Now, you run your cellblock and you think you're a god. Glynn runs the whole prison, he thinks he's a greater god. Well, guys, I am Zeus. I am omnipotent. I must be obeyed...or my thunderbolts will strike.

Vern Schillinger:
One of these Muslim monkeys was trying to tell me that Jesus was a nigger. He even quoted from the Bible trying to back his shit up.

Tobias Beecher:
Well, Jesus was from Judea so he was probably of an olive-colored skin.

Vern Schillinger:
Look at that picture there. Does that look like a nigger to you?

Tobias Beecher:
No.

Vern Schillinger:
You're getting awful mouthy, aren't you, prag?

Tobias Beecher:
No, sir. I am not, sir.

Vern Schillinger:
Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson. Polish my boots.

Tobias Beecher:
Yes, sir.

Vern Schillinger:
With your tongue.

Augustus Hill:
God knows he's perfect and we're not and we can never be but he expects us to be. And he punishes us if we're not, you know what I'm saying? God is the ultimate gangster. The supremo boss, you know what I mean? Forgiveness, live by his code. Deadness, if we don't. Yo, he never has to talk to us face to face and he never has to explain exactly why he does what he does. Know what I'm saying? Nigger sits up there in Heaven somewhere, drinking a cappuccino, chilling... [singing] "Got the whole world in his hands." He got the whole world by the balls. In excelsius deo and all that shit.

Vernon Schillinger:
So the state's gonna let Keane choose which way he's gonna go out. Me, I'd take hanging.

Mark Mack:
What about lethal injection?

Vernon Schillinger:
That's for pussies.

Donald Groves:
They say that lethal injection causes no pain. How do they know? Did someone come back from the dead and say they didn't feel anything?

Diane Wittlesy:
My ex was a big hunter, he was always going off with his buddies so I said to him one time to take me. After some complaining, he did. So I got there in the forest with this big hunky shotgun and I fired at a deer. Hit it dead on. So I went over to this thing and I leaned down and this deer looked up at me with these eyes, these eyes like flashlights. I knelt beside it and I held it's head and I whispered, "I'm sorry." And like batteries going bad the light in its eyes flickered a little bit and went out. For the next two years we were married, every time I walked into the den I had to look at this fucking deer's dead eyes. I had to dust them. When we got divorced that's all I asked for, the deer's head. Then I buried it.

Ray Mukada:
If you love women so much, why do you kill them?

Richard L'italien:
Because when you love someone, they own you, they possess you. I will not be possessed.

Ray Mukada:
I'm here to give you absolution for your sins. Do you wish to be absolved?

Richard L'italien:
Fuck, yes!

Augustus Hill:
There's this brother on death row somewheres, he checked in when he was 16. He sat there another 16 years while the courts and lawyers argued about this and that. While he waited he painted a mural on his wall. For all those years he painted, not letting a soul see what he was up to. Finally, when he was 32 and had spent more life on death row than in his mama's house, all his appeals were exhausted. He was about to die. As he was about to be let out for the final time, he finally unveiled his masterpiece. All there was were six words. "Death is certain, life is not". The next day the hacks painted over it. Peace out.

Augustus Hill:
I ain't saying drugs are good. But when your past is past and your present sucks and your future holds nothing but broken promises and dead dreams, the drugs'll kill the pain. Listen up, America, you ain't ever gonna get rid of drugs until you cure pain.

Nino Schibetta:
I always thought Keane and Markstrom were holding you back. From the get-go, you were a guy that sees how the world gets made. Adebisi. Ends in "I". Sure you're not Italian?

Simon Adebisi:
Schibetta ends in "A". Maybe you African.

Bob Rebadow:
I'm sorry that you're ill.

Kareem Said:
And who told you that I was ill?

Bob Rebadow:
God.

Kareem Said:
Oh, yes. You talk to God.

Bob Rebadow:
When he's in town.

Kareem Said:
Well, in Islam, we believe that only two people spoke to God directly. Mohammad], and praise be to him, and Moses. So, you see, you are in excellent company.

Bob Rebadow:
You think I'm lying or deluded.

Kareem Said:
Oh, yes.

Bob Rebadow:
I may well be. I do know sometimes I can see inside men's souls.

Kareem Said:
And can you see into mine, old man?

Bob Rebadow:
Yes.

Kareem Said:
And what is there?

Bob Rebadow:
Anger.

Kareem Said:
Yes, I am angry. I am angry at a society that cripples my people and infects their bodies.

Bob Rebadow:
No, you're angry at God.

Kareem Said:
I am not. My illness is Allah's will and I accept the bad as well as the good that God gives me.

Bob Rebadow:
Still, you're angry at him and afraid. Afraid of dying.

Kareem Said:
That is not true.

Bob Rebadow:
You watched Jefferson Keane die, die gladly. Keane embraced death like a lover, like a traveler going home. You saw that and you were afraid. You realized you aren't as willing to go.

Augustus Hill:
Do we care for people when they're sick because we actually care about them? Or do we care for them because when our time comes, we want someone to care for us?

Simon Adebisi:
You are a sick motherfucker, O'Reily.

Ryan O'Reily:
Coming from you, that's a compliment.

Donald Groves:
This is my tooth. It was in my head. This tooth and I have been together since we were kids. This tooth chewed on my mom.

Scott Ross:
You should sell it.

Donald Groves:
Sell it?

Scott Ross:
Sell it. The tooth from the mouth of Donald Groves? Do you know how much that's worth on the open market?

Donald Groves:
How much?

Scott Ross:
Plenty.

Donald Groves:
Who'd wanna buy my tooth?

Scott Ross:
Collectors.

Donald Groves:
Collectors?

Scott Ross:
Collectors. People collect everything. Stamps, salt and pepper shakers, World's Fair tchochkes. Some people collect crime stuff. Lindbergh ladder, Ted Bundy's toenail clippings, and this.

Donald Groves:
We'd have to get a fence, right?

Scott Ross:
We're in prison. How hard's that gonna be?

Donald Groves:
Ross, if we get a good price, I still got 30 more.

Tobias Beecher:
You've got to transfer me to another cell block.

Tim McManus:
All the other cell blocks are full.

Tobias Beecher:
Well transfer me to another prison.

Tim McManus:
Do I look like a travel agent to you?

Eddie Hunt:
To Lawrence Smith. A fine man who died too young.

Diane Wittlesey:
Yeah. Amen.

Eddie Hunt:
Here's to Donald Groves, a freak of nature who lived too long.

Diane Wittlesey:
Yeah, probably.

Eddie Hunt:
I killed a man who killed a man. I killed a man. Only maybe I didn't kill him, because they put blanks in one of the rifles so maybe-- I mean, I can never know for sure if I killed him or not. Only not knowing is maybe worse than knowing. Because at least if I knew--

Diane Wittlesey:
Eddie. Go home.

[Beecher confronts Schillinger in the gym]

Vernon Schillinger:
You're gonna die!

Tobias Beecher:
Not today!

[Beecher kicks Schillinger in the groin, then bashes his head with a dumbbell, then proceeds to tie him up with a crowd cheering him on]

Ryan O'Reily:
Yeah, tie that motherfucking Nazi up!

[Beecher then takes a bench and slams it onto Schillinger's chest, then pulls down his pants]

Tobias Beecher:
Hey, motherfucker, you remember THIS!

[proceeds to defecate onto Schillinger's face, the crowd cheers]

Ryan O'Reily:
Ah, he SHIT on him!

[Beecher laughs diabolically]

Tobias Beecher:
Sieg heil, baby! Sieg fucking heil!