Oz, Season Three

Sister Pete:
Do you like sex with men?

Keller:
I like sex. Don't you?

Hill:
The name on the street for the Oswald Maximum Security Penitentiary. Only, big news: They've changed the name. It's now called the Oswald State Correctional Facility, level four. I don't know what the difference is. Leo Glynn is still warden, Sister Peter Marie is still in psych, Tim McManus is still unit manager of Emerald City, and I know for damn sure none of us have changed. Beecher is still in the hospital after Schillinger and Keller broke his bones. Alvarez is still in solitary after blinding a CO. Adebisi, still in the loony ward, after changing hats. Maybe it's truth in advertising. Maybe by getting rid of the word "penitentiary" the state is finally admitting that nobody's penitent. Nobody's sorry. Nobody.

O'Reilly:
I'd f***ing airhole him but he's always got the Aryans or the bikers around him. I just can't get f***ing close.

Poet:
Unless...

O'Reilly:
Unless... Who knew? You think like I do.

Poet:
That's a scary thought.

Shirley:
Show me your prick.

Richie:
What?

Shirley:
You show me your prick, and I'll show you my pussy.

Richie:
I'm gay.

Shirley:
I don't care if you're Portuguese. I don't want to die without ever seeing another prick again. Show me, please show me. (He does) Wow, you must've made some boy very, very happy.

Keller:
Look, I know there's no reason for you to believe me, but, um...

Beecher:
You're sorry?

Keller:
Yeah.

Beecher:
And you promise you'll never do it again?

Keller:
Hey, f*** you, you f***.

Hill:
Truth is a powerful thing. It can right a wrong, or make a bad thing worse. In Oz the truth is, if the facts don't fit the truth, f*** the facts.

McManus:
At Attica, you organized a boxing program, right?

Murphy:
Yeah.

McManus:
Maybe we could try something like that here.

Murphy:
Great, now all we need is time, gloves, and a good insurance policy.

Hill:
I used to box.

O'Reily:
Where? In the Special Olympics?

Nappa:
So Adebisi, how come you want to work in the AIDS ward with all those fags?

Adebisi:
You know, it's funny. Out there I hated them, but in here, well, sometimes you need your dick sucked.

Nappa:
Yeah, well that's the difference between you and me. I've got some self control.

Schillinger:
(upon hearing that Keller was stabbed in the back) Mr. Keller's got about three or four assholes now!

Busmalis:
You're a Russian?

Nikolai:
Yes.

Busmalis:
From Russia?

Nikolai:
Yes.

Busmalis:
You were born in Russia?

Nikolai:
(annoyed) Yes!

Dr. Gloria Nathan:
You're HIV-positive.

Nappa:
What?!

Dr. Gloria Nathan:
I'm sorry.

Nappa:
Doctor, that is not possible. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the only way to get AIDS is by having sex or sharing a needle. Well I ain't done either and I'm not Asian!

Shirley:
What's this thing between you and Vern? Every time he comes in here, you boys snarl at each other.

Richie:
It's a long story.

Shirley:
I've got no other appointments today.

Richie:
That bastard is the reason I'm on Death Row. He and another Aryan creep killed a Russian. Told me if I don't confess to the murder they'd kill me.

Shirley:
Death sentence either way.

Richie:
Yeah.

Shirley:
But if you know you're going to die, why not tell the truth?

Richie:
The other one, Mark Mack, is already dead. Besides, why should the hacks listen to me now? I say Schillinger did it, they say prove it. I have no proof.

Shirley:
Unless you say you did it together.

Richie:
What?

Shirley:
Lie. Tell them that you and Vern both killed the Russian.

Richie:
How does that help me get off Death Row?

Shirley:
It doesn't, hon. But it does ensure his ass will be up here in the cell next to yours. Just something to consider, Richie. Just something to consider.

Beecher:
I gotta pray; pray that God shows me the way to f*** Schillinger!

Said:
(checking in a new inmate) Number? Number?

Andrew:
9-9-S-3-3-3. (grabs his bedding and walks away)

Said:
(to another inmate) That boy's last name. Know what it was? Schillinger.

Officer Mineo:
Congratulations! It's a boy! A bouncing, baby boy. Your son arrived yesterday.

Schillinger:
Which unit's he in?

Officer Mineo:
Your favorite: Emerald City.

Nikolai:
When life is good, 'tis better not to question why.

O'Reily:
Schillinger hates that his kid uses drugs. Andy's only been here a few days and he's already bought a shitload of tits off me. So I'm saying we let Andy suck on that tit 'til he O.D.s.

Beecher:
Or...

Beecher:
You got any tattoos?

Andrew:
Yeah, a couple. (removes his shirt to reveal a few tattoos)

Beecher:
Very nice.

Andrew:
How about you?

Beecher:
I got one.

Andrew:
Yeah? Let me see it.

Beecher:
Someday. We don't know each other that well yet.

Officer Clayton Hughes:
You understanding me?

Kosygin:
Yes.

Officer Clayton Hughes:
Well then f***ing blink or something.

Busmalis:
(regarding Kosygin) I tried talking to him at dinner, and he just stared at me, frozen like the tundra. He scares the living shit out of me.

Andrew:
My whole life, crammed into my head, how superior we white folks are. I don't see the truth in that. I look around this room, and all I see are white faces, black faces, every color in between, and the only thing I know for sure is that we are all shit. Shit don't come in degrees. White or black, shit is shit. So f*** everything you believe, f*** everything you stand for, and f*** you!

Schillinger:
(slaps Andrew) Don't you talk to me like that!

Andrew:
Old man, you hit me way too many times growing up! (attacks Schillinger)

Kosygin:
At last count, I had murdered at least 49 men. You have the honor of being my 50th.

Beecher:
I was raised Episcopalian, which means we thought about God an hour once a week. But you, you think about Him all the time.

Said:
Yes.

Beecher:
Why?

Said:
I want to know Him.

Beecher:
Me too. I want to know God, and I want Him to know me. I want Him to know that I'm still here. That I'm still stuck in this place.

Said:
He knows.

Keller:
You see,I am a piece of Shit.Worthless.As bad as They come.So to have someone love Me not matter how bad...There.You happy now I spilled My guts all over Your table?

O'Reily:
Word on the street is, you're the most ruthless hitman in Little Odessa. That's gotta mean a lot because you Russian mafia guys are a bunch of crazy f***ed-up mother f***ers so I got a job done and I need it done fast. (begins to drop money in his other hand, one bill at a time) Just tell me when to stop.

Napa:
What's your name again?

Nat:
Nat.

Napa:
What's that? Short for Nathaniel?

Nat:
(revealing he is a cross-dresser) Short for Natalie.

Hill:
'Know thyself.' That's what Socrates said, or Aristotle, or one of those dead white men. To know one's self; that may be the hardest thing any of us will ever do.

Hill:
Clark Kent is the secret identity of Superman. I don't understand why Superman even needed a secret identity. I mean, if I'm invulnerable, all the chicks want me, why do I spend my time disguised as a four-eyed loser? The truth is: Superman's schizophrenic. His super-id is f***ing with his super-ego. The man's conflicted, no doubt about it.

Nat:
Did I over dress?

Nappa:
Oh, Jesus. You know, you look a lot like my ex-wife.

Nat:
Thanks.

Nappa:
That's not a compliment.

Pancamo:
In his day, Antonio Nappa was a great man. He was like a father to me. Well, more like an uncle.

Hill:
The good citizens of Gotham City have got to be the dumbest f***s on the planet. They got Batman and Robin running around, saving them from the Joker, the Riddler and such. And at the same time they got Bruce Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson in the headlines every day. Batman and Robin, Bruce and Dick. You're telling me not one person put two and two together?

Beecher:
I know you're gonna think this is bullshit. But I feel very badly about my part in Andy's death. Losing a kid, there's nothing worse. And I want to make it up to you.

Schillinger:
How? How can you ever make it up to me?

Beecher:
You have another son. You don't know where he is. Through my partners at my old law office, I could find him.

Schillinger:
And that's supposed to even the score? Make everything okay?

Beecher:
It's a start.

Schillinger:
Beecher, you're crazier than I thought. There's only one way things will ever be alright between us. You DEAD!

Nikolai:
We Russians, we are suspicious of everyone.

O'Reily:
Khan's braindamaged.

Cyril:
No.

O'Reily:
Yeah. I saw it when he went down. His eyes went all vacant and shit.

Cyril:
You mean, I made him... just like me?

O'Reily:
Worse.

Hill:
A Bunch of men sit in cells on the brink of a new Year,a new century,a new Millenium.They look into the future and all They can see ahead is themselves sitting in those same cells.Black or white,here We are:On the precipis.We either hang on or We fall off.Together or separately.Its Our choice.Its up to Us.Its up to You and Me

Tim McManus:
I may be blind, but I'm not dumb.

Tim McManus:
Metzger, I know who you are. I know what you are.

Karl Metzger:
All I am is a highly trained underpaid member of the Correctional Officers Benevolent Association. But if I am what you think I am you should tiptoe.

Tim McManus:
Is that a threat?

Karl Metzger:
I'm merely reminding you who your friends are. Remember who you want standing next to you when one of these fucks comes after you with a knife.

Tim McManus:
So before Metzger came to town, he lived in Montana where he was part of the White Supremacy Warriors.

Sister Peter Marie:
You sure of this, Tim?

Tim McManus:
I got a friend who works in the FBI who verified it.

Leo Glynn:
Even so, you can't fire a man for what he did 15 years ago. I need proof that he's in cahoots with Vern Schillinger, that he's responsible for what happened to Busmalis, Beecher, and the others.

Tim McManus:
Nobody will testify against Metzger.

Leo Glynn:
Well, the union's not gonna let us do anything without evidence. He's also very popular with the other CO's. I don't need any more morale problems.

Tim McManus:
So we let him stay on board till maybe he kills somebody?

Leo Glynn:
I have no choice.

Tim McManus:
Even though he thinks of you as a nigger?

Leo Glynn:
What did you say?

Tim McManus:
A nigger.

Leo Glynn:
If you're trying to piss me off, you're succeeding. I don't want Metzger in this building one minute longer than you do. But if I'm going to take him down, I'm gonna need ammunition.

Tim McManus:
All right. I'll see what I can do.

Augustus Hill:
Napoleon's final defeat came at Waterloo. Must've been embarrassing. He was the fucking emperor, he conquered all of Europe, only to lose at a place with a stupid name like Waterloo. Or Watergate or Whitewater. Note to politicians: stay on land.

Augustus Hill:
Hey, Coyle.

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
Call me Snake.

Augustus Hill:
I changed my mind, man.

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
What? Ain't nothing like a clean shave, a close shave. Ah, ah, ah, don't squirm, you gonna make me nick your neck. So what you in here for, Augustus?

Augustus Hill:
Murder. I killed a cop.

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
Sweet. But I got you beat. See, I whacked a whole family. Mama, daddy, two little sweet adorable kids. Sweet old grams.

Augustus Hill:
What'd this family do to you?

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
Not a thing.

Augustus Hill:
Then why you kill 'em?

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
For fun.

Augustus Hill:
How you kill 'em?

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
Take a guess.

Augustus Hill:
You slit their throats. Why you fucking with me, man?

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
I ain't fucking with you.

Augustus Hill:
You up in Oz for armed robbery.

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
That I am. See, I never got caught for the murders. And never will.

Augustus Hill:
Gimme my wheelchair, man.

Malcolm "Snake" Coyle:
Yes, sir. Yessuh, massa. We aim to please.

Augustus Hill:
In my 'hood, you had to learn to run before you learned to walk.

Antonio Nappa:
Why would you want to transfer out of the cafeteria to take care of a bunch of fags?

Simon Adebisi:
Don't like fags?

Antonio Nappa:
What do you think?

Simon Adebisi:
Out there, I hated them. But here sometimes you need your dick sucked.

Antonio Nappa:
That's one of the many differences between you and me. I got self-control.

Sister Peter Marie:
I know that Tobias was in love with you and that you broke his arms and his legs.

Chris Keller:
Jesus Christ, you put it that way it makes me sound so cold.

Ryan O'Reily:
Jesus Christ. Why they gotta show that?

Carmen "Chico" Guerra:
Don't be a vag, O'Reily.

Ryan O'Reily:
Hey, pal, I'm no vag but why they gotta put that stuff on TV?

Bob Rebadow:
It's evidence in Coyle's trial.

Ryan O'Reily:
Evidence, fine. But show it in the Goddamned courtroom and not on the fucking local news. Hey how would you like it if you came home, you put the tube on, there's your grandmother with her guts spilling out for everyone to fucking see?

Leo Glynn:
You must really love your son, Schillinger, to come in here and ask me for a favor. It must be chewing up your insides to have to stand here in my office begging me for your son's life. 'Cause this is what you're doing, right? Begging?

Vern Schillinger:
Yes.

Leo Glynn:
Think of all the times I needed something from you and you just sit here with that stupid-ass grin on your face singing "doodah."

Vern Schillinger:
This is my son, goddamn it!

Leo Glynn:
I thought you had two sons.

Vern Schillinger:
Yeah, I do.

Leo Glynn:
Maybe you'll be luckier with the second.

Kareem Said:
I am black, I am a Muslim, and I am a man. And sometimes those three things, they war with each other.

Sean Murphy:
Gentlemen, this room here is the, uh, computer room. Call me crazy, but I think when I see people in this room, they should be using computers. But you three aren't, which leads me to guess, you know, 'cause I'm such a bright fella, that you're here for a different reason. Now forgive me for being distrustful, that probably means you're up to no good. That's right, take a hike. Let's go. You too, Simon.

Simon Adebisi:
I am using the computer.

Sean Murphy:
Ah. Well, can I give you one little small suggestion? Turn it on.

Ryan O'Reily:
Let me get this straight. You aim for the doctor, but you got the son instead.

William Cudney:
No, I aimed for the son.

Ryan O'Reily:
You took out the kid on purpose?

William Cudney:
Yeah. Now that doctor knows how I feel. He killed my baby, I killed his.

Cyril O'Reily:
What are you gonna say to him when you see him?

William Cudney:
Who?

Cyril O'Reily:
The doctor's son up in Heaven. I already know what I'm gonna say to Dr. Nathan's husband if they let me in.

Eugene Rivera:
[to Alvarez, who has blinded him] I hate you, Alvarez you fucking motherfucker. 'Cause of you I gotta carry around all this shit in the dark. If it wasn't for Tina, I would have killed myself already. Sometimes I think I should kill myself for her sake so she could start a new life without me. Some days, Alvarez, I wish you would have killed me instead of doing this. I can't cry anymore. Did you know that? You made it so I can't cry.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
Kosygin is no pal of mine. I'm a Jew. He's Cossack. In my community, he's feared for his savagery. You Sicilians think you're so tough. He would cut out your heart, eat it, and not think twice.

Yuri Kosygin:
Unlike you, in Russia I was not a criminal. I was an educator. After the Soviets fell, things got so bleak in Moscow I decided to leave, to come to America.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
For a better life, right?

Yuri Kosygin:
Yes, for me and my wife. But we did not find a better life. I couldn't get employed teaching.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
Must have been terrible.

Yuri Kosygin:
Then I got this job painting a house, the house of Leonid Rodzinsky.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
He was in the Organizatsya.

Yuri Kosygin:
Yes. He treated me like shit, always making fun. Calling me "professor" and ordering me to clean his toilets. One day, he kicked me with his boot in front of my wife. I strangled him on the spot.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
It's closing time?

Yuri Kosygin:
Yes.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
All right, I'll go.

Yuri Kosygin:
Not till I finish my story.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
Strange. All this time, you've barely said two words. Now you're a regular bottum.

Yuri Kosygin:
It takes me time to warm up to people. I feel very close to you. I was possessed by guilt for killing Rodzinsky but I got a reputation for being ruthless. The Organizatsya hired me to exterminate someone else. The second time was easy.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
Yuri, please. I don't want to hear this.

Yuri Kosygin:
The third time, no problem at all.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
Yuri, please.

Yuri Kosygin:
At last count, I murdered at least 49 people. You have the honor of being my 50th.

Claire Howell:
You know what your problem is, Diane? You wanna be everybody's best pal.

Diane Wittlesey:
And your problem? You wanna be everybody's worst nightmare.

Chris Keller:
You saw my ex, Bonnie? When I met her, she was all alone, very unhappy. So I knew it would be easy to get her to fall in love with me. But what I didn't know was after I broke her heart would she still love me? See, I'm a piece of shit. I am worthless. As bad as they come. And to have someone keep loving me, no matter how bad... [pause] You happy now? You got me to open up and spill my guts all over your table. Breakthrough.

Augustus Hill:
People are defined by three things: Their heads: how they think. Their hearts: what they feel. Their dicks: who they fuck. At the end of the day, each of us has to answer one question. One, not so simple question. Who am I?

Miguel Alvarez:
Alone is alone. It's the way I've been my whole fucking life. I just don't belong in the world.

Augustus Hill:
Everybody's worried about this Y2K problem. Come 2000, the computers are gonna have a nervous breakdown. Planes will fall from the sky, the water supply will dry up and the Pentagon will start shooting nuclear warheads at Canada. Some predict that prison doors will automatically spring open. But I got the solution: A do-over. At the stroke of midnight, it's 1900 again and we get to do the whole fucking century over. I mean, let's face it. We didn't do such a hot job the first time around.

Leo Glynn:
What the hell happened?

Tim McManus:
Howell and Diane got into a fight. Over me.

Leo Glynn:
Christ.

Tim McManus:
Look, don't. OK, Leo, I don't want to hear any of your sanctimonious bullshit.

Leo Glynn:
I don't care what you want to hear. It's time you started taking responsibility for the shitstorms you create.

Tim McManus:
What? That's all I do, all day, every day, is take responsibility, Leo. For every fucking thing in Em City. And all I've ever looked to you for is a little support.

Leo Glynn:
I supported you.

Tim McManus:
Yeah, like with the thing with Wangler? You took his side right away.

Leo Glynn:
I did not!

Tim McManus:
Yeah, you took his fucking side! Like you always do. Like you do with Hill, like you do with Said, and even Clayton Hughes. All the brothers. No matter which side of the law.

Leo Glynn:
Are you saying I do that because they're black?

Tim McManus:
Well, read the score card, pal, and add it up for yourself.

Leo Glynn:
Fuck you, McManus!

Tim McManus:
Yeah, fuck me!

Dr. Gloria Nathan:
Guys, guys, everybody's listening.

Jaz Hoyt:
What do you want?

Vern Schillinger:
The niggers are up to something.

Chris Keller:
The niggers are always up to something. So are you.

Vern Schillinger:
Look, I know there's been a lot of shit between us all over the years but we gotta put that aside. At least for now. We gotta be bound by the one thing that joins us all together. The color of our skin.

Tobias Beecher:
I am not gonna listen to this shit. C'mon, Chris.

Chris Keller:
Wait a sec. I wanna hear what he has to say.

Nikolai Stanislofsky:
I'm Russian, and I'm a Jew. But I'm also white. So Schillinger, do you accept me as a part of your group?

Vern Schillinger:
Yes.

Tobias Beecher:
Aw, fuck.