Quack Pack

[The teenage Duck nephews are in their room, filled with many comic books]

Huey:
So many comic books.

Dewey:
So little time.

Louie:
You guys ever think maybe we should quit reading all these comics and do something?

Huey:
Someone's been reading self help books again.

Dewey:
Pitiful.

Donald:
[enters their room] Hiya, boys! [trips on a skateboard and lands in a pile of clothes and comics] Yuck! [a pizza slice lands on top of his head; looks around] What a mess! You boys should be ashamed.

Louie:
Ashamed? About what?

Donald:
This room! I want it spotless!

Dewey:
Spotless?!

Louie:
You mean you want us to clean?

Donald:
Clean this room, or else! [leaves]

Huey:
Clean our room? The nerve of some people.

Dewey:
We're much too busy.

Louie:
We've got a million things to do.

[Later…]

Duck nephews:
We got nothing to do.

[After Ludwig's superhero machine gives the teenage Duck triplets superpowers…]

Ludwig:
[opens the door and Dewey steps out, with an incredibly huge head] Why, Dewey! That's one fantastic makeover you did there!

Dewey:
Call me Brain Boy! Now witness the amazing psychokinetic powers of my super brain! [uses his powers to make a steel post-shaped puppy] See how my indomitable brain beak twists this dirty steel post… into a festive puppy! My brother Louis, I presume?

Louie:
[steps out of the machine with an incredibly muscular body] Call me Captain Muscle! Behold my super stupendous strength! [lifts up the superhero machine with his finger, to Ludwig's amazement, and sets it back down]

[Huey is the last to come out of the machine, with incredible speed]

Dewey:
Tis, our other sibling, Hubert. But wait, he appears unchanged saved for his apparel.

Louie:
You're right. Tell us, Super H. What powers did you get?

Huey:
[dashes away and back with a kangaroo; in Australian accent] G'day, mates.

Louie:
It made him Australian?

Dewey:
No, it made him super fast… extreme.

Huey:
Call me the Really Incredibly Fast Guy… uh, until I can think of something better.

Louie:
Nice digs.

Dewey:
We even have our own narrator.

Timmy:
[sobbing] My kite!

Dewey:
What's the matter, little Timmy Miller of 1804 1/2 Farnam Street?

Timmy:
[points up to his kite that's stuck in a tree] My kite!

Dewey:
Cease your ocular discharge. [wipes Timmy's teary eyes with his cape] I shall amend the situation with my magnifu-caltractonious mind.

Timmy:
[confused] Is that a word?

Dewey:
It is now.

T-Squad:
[reading the note] "Clean your room or else! Love and kisses- Your uncle, the Duck of Doom."

Huey:
Of course you know what this means.

Louie:
We're not gonna make it to the superhero debutante ball?

Huey:
No! The T-Squad must stand firm! This "Duck of Doom" will not force us to clean our room! Hey, that rhymes.

T-Squad:
T-Squad, HO!

Dewey:
Let's see. How shall I reply to this with a proper verb in panache? Ah! "No way, Jose!" [sticks the note on the plane]

Louie:
Return to sender!

Donald:
Yoo-hoo, T-Squad! Look what I've done!

Huey:
So you tied up the freeway, drained a lake, and put funny glasses on Mount Rushmore? Big deal.

Donald:
[offended] Big deal?!

Huey:
The T-Squad can't be bothered by such, uh… frivolities, especially when we have to deal with real disasters.

Louie:
[shivering] The North Pole? Couldn't we hide out somewhere nice like the Bahamas?

Huey:
Well, it might be a little frosty, but at least we're safe until we can come up with a plan.

Dewey:
What was that anyway? Some kind of mutant prehistoric pigeon?

Louie:
Last time we became superheroes, the whole universe got destroyed!

Huey:
What did you do?

Dewey:
I found out what it's like…to be a woman.

[Huey quickly moves away from him after to have shockingly heard that]

Huey:
I'll show you how to get even!

Dewey:
Me?! You started it!

Huey:
You started it!

Huey:
So what?! Look at me! I can't enter the Mr. Cool Teen contest like this! I can't even go out in public! My life is officially over!

Huey:
Ready to give up, lady?

Donald:
[grabs Dewey by the beak] Dewey! Oh, why'd you… [squawks furiously]

Louie:
[angrily] We're stuck in the middle of nowhere and it's all your fault!

Huey:
U.F.O. almost lands on your head and you want proof?!

Louie:
You're the one who believes this stuff!

Daisy:
What's on your mind, Dewey?

Dewey:
[disappointed] Doesn't matter if you're from Earth, Mars, or Planet Glum. You gotta build space ships out of something. Metal, wood, solidified nose hairs, I don't know, but something solid! And these aren't. Oh, man, whatever.

Dewey:
A projector? It's a projector?! [angrily] I'VE BEEN RIPPED OFF!