Quantum Leap, Season 5

Al:
I know it's more comforting to believe in plots, because if Kennedy could be killed that easily, by one sicko, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Al:
Gushie, if I should suddenly pop out of existence, I want to leave everything to my first wife, Beth.

Al:
He thinks I'm Saint Peter and that I'm going to send him to Hell for overcharging his hours.

Al:
He has all the signs of the undead.

Sam:
And you have all the signs of the brain dead.

[Al consults his frequently malfunctioning handlink.]

Al:
He's at dinner.

Sam:
He's at a dinner?

Al:
Yeah.

Sam:
In the middle of the afternoon? He's at a dinner?

Al:
He's at a dinner, having diner.

Sam:
What?

[Al slaps the handlink.]

Al:
Oh, he's at the diner having dinner... make it lunch.

Sam:
You've got to reach for the stars, not for the ceiling.

Al:
He cancels out on Elvis! Oh! This is awful, Sam! Ziggy says now, Elvis doesn't even get discovered. And "Heartbreak Hotel" is recorded by the... Monkees! And "Jailhouse Rock" is recorded by Tony Orlando and Dawn!? Ughh! Gag me with a spoon!

Sam:
You're not just a bartender.

Bartender Al:
That's true. I own the place, too.