Sanctuary, Season 2

Dana Whitcomb:
[answering phone] Dana Whitcomb.

Helen Magnus:
Is that your real name, or just the one we'll put on your headstone?

Helen Magnus:
Nikola, did I ever tell you why my father founded the Sanctuary network all those decades ago?

Nikola Tesla:
Because he was a crappy doctor?

Nikola Tesla:
You'd think with all the resources available to her, she'd have a more updated facility. This place is as backward as Oxford before the war. The first war.

Henry Foss:
Yeah, well, I think Dr. Magnus likes to keep the old stuff around for old times' sake. She trusts it more than the high-tech stuff I try to push on her.

Nikola Tesla:
How to modulate the energy spectrum so that it has the desired benign effect...?

Henry Foss:
While still taking her out.

Nikola Tesla:
The reason I'm asking is because I don't know the answer. And I'm me.

Nikola Tesla:
Oh, I'll be here working. Trying to save the world. Single-handedly. Ugh.

Nikola Tesla:
We learn more from failure than from success. Or so I've heard.

John Druitt:
What now?

Helen Magnus:
We defend our home.

Helen Magnus:
I recommend you get yourself to one of the safe-houses. Things are going to get very un-sanctuary-like around here.

Helen Magnus:
[to the Big Guy] The others may question your choices, your beliefs. I don't. We've known each other too long. We've always understood the need for space, freedom to live as we want. It's the very thing that defines us. Once we let go of who we are, what we believe to be true, who the hell are we, for God's sake? Chattel for the fates like everyone else. I've always held that despite how complex this world is, compromise is for the weak. And the cost of that weakness is too high a price, no matter how dire the circumstances. Truth is, I've been wrong all along. [puts the antidote within his reach] I won't be visiting again.

Will Zimmerman:
Once more into the breach, dear friends.

Helen Magnus:
Once more, or close up the wall with our English dead.

Will Zimmerman:
Or we could all just run away.

Helen Magnus:
If only we were that smart.

John Druitt:
Where's your courage, dear boy? We'll be fine.

Nikola Tesla:
I'm not British. All that tally-ho crap doesn't work on me.

Helen Magnus:
Do you remember when you were small? You used to come into my room in the middle of the night. You'd crawl into my arms and you'd say, "Mummy, I'm afraid." [sets the weapon aside, crying] Ashley, I'm afraid.

Helen Magnus:
[to Bigfoot] Stop doting on me. It makes my teeth itch.

Bigfoot:
Mine too.

Will Zimmerman:
What do you think happens after we die? You've seen more lives end than anyone else that I know.

Helen Magnus:
Kurt and Albert and I got into this discussion once at a Princeton football game, I think it was 1953. Albert argued that the concept of matter equaling energy, and vice versa, was far more ubiquitous than any of us could have imagined.

Will Zimmerman:
That would be Kurt Goedel and Albert Einstein?

Helen Magnus:
What do I think death is?

Will Zimmerman:
Yeah.

Helen Magnus:
Did you ever see Field of Dreams?

Will Zimmerman:
Yeah, I loved that movie.

Helen Magnus:
The cornfield. It's rather like that.

Will Zimmerman:
I never understood what happened in the cornfield.

Helen Magnus:
Nobody did. That was the point.

Henry Foss:
Name your price.

Kate Freelander:
Never say that to me unless you mean it.

Kate Freelander:
Snares? Dude, it's a Steno! I say we set the phasers to eleven and fry the sucker! [clicks tongue]

Helen Magnus:
Never stop doing that, being honest with me. Anything else and I will be insulted. Thanks.

Will Zimmerman:
Sancho Panza had it easy.

Will Zimmerman:
I need to know, are you searching for closure...or a miracle?

Helen Magnus:
There are no such things as miracles.

Elderly Native Man:
[offers Helen a necklace] It was meant for you. May it guide you through dark places and into the light.

Ashley Magnus:
Nos must amitto vivo en. We must let go.

Helen Magnus:
[turns to see Ashley behind her] I cannot.

Ashley Magnus:
You have to, Mom.

Helen Magnus:
But you're...you're my life. Without you--

Ashley Magnus:
You'll never be without me, and I know that you will always love me. No matter what.

Will Zimmerman:
If anyone needs me, I'll be coughing up blood.

Helen Magnus:
Nice shot.

Will Zimmerman:
Well, he... he's kinda hard to miss.

Helen Magnus:
It does mean we're going to have to do a far more detailed exam.

Will Zimmerman:
Ah. Well, that doesn't bode well for our "we're not super villains" case.

Helen Magnus:
Try to avoid the topic of total global domination.

Henry Foss:
Did he say how he was able to fly?

Will Zimmerman:
Yeah, three weeks ago he was hanging out on a friend's yacht off the coast of Africa when they got attacked by pirates called the "Singh Brotherhood". Somehow in the middle of it all he got pushed over the side and he swam to shore, and he found a cave, and in the cave there was this temple, and in the temple there was this ruby called [Henry joins in] the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak. Yeah. How did you know that?

Henry Foss:
[chuckling] This guy is good.

Will Zimmerman:
What are you talking about?

Henry Foss:
For real, you never read comic books as a kid?

Will Zimmerman:
I mean, yeah... I was more of a Sherlock Holmes guy. Why?

Henry Foss:
Okay, the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak? That's the stone Cain Marko found in the X-Men number 12; turned him into Juggernaut. The Singh Brotherhood is from The Phantom, and the yacht, well, if you don't know the story the Green Arrow, then there's no hope for you, pal. Dude, you got played.

Will Zimmerman:
Crap.

Helen Magnus:
Before you go knocking another hole in my wall know this; you are free to leave whenever you like.

Helen Magnus:
I asked Henry to move your things into more permanent quarters.

Kate Freelander:
You what?

Helen Magnus:
I trust that meets with your agenda?

Helen Magnus:
More fun and games?

Helen Magnus:
I'm Helen. Proper etiquette would be to offer your name in return.

Helen Magnus:
It may be a shambles, but this is still my house.

Helen Magnus:
You said we have five hours, maybe more; please, help me understand this.

Will Zimmerman:
Magnus, if she turns, they'll come.

Helen Magnus:
Then I suggest you leave. Because I will not let you shoot this girl

Will Zimmerman:
This is all a very bad idea. Which means you really must be you.

Will Zimmerman:
I respect you trying to save this girl; it's even kind of nostalgic, but come on, this is all just more stuff for the archaeologists to find in the future after we're long gone.

Will Zimmerman:
You're totally pissed, aren't you, that you came up empty.

Helen Magnus:
[forced chuckle] Absolutely furious.

Will Zimmerman:
Wow, look at that. What a beautiful day.

Helen Magnus:
Mm. Not bad, Will.

Will Zimmerman:
Who did this?

Declan Macrae:
Look, it's too early to know for sure, but so far all the evidence I've gathered points to Helen Magnus.

Kate Freelander:
I knew your freaky eyeballs would come up with something.

Kate Freelander:
What would Magnus want with a bunch of Red-Listers?

Remy:
Nothing legal.

Will Zimmerman:
Come on, Magnus. Now, you already knocked me out once today. One per day, that's your limit.

Henry Foss:
If you ever do that to me again, I will shoot you myself, you got it?

Will Zimmerman:
What is it with you and flying, anyway?

Helen Magnus:
Two crashes in 158 years, that's not bad.

Will Zimmerman:
They only invented flying 110 years ago, so...

Will Zimmerman:
She happens to be the foremost authority on deviant psychology in Scandinavia, thank you very much.

Helen Magnus:
[laughs] Such an attractive element in a woman.

Will Zimmerman:
If you get out, throw me down a sandwich - and an Uzi.

Helen Magnus:
Honestly, Will, they are one of the most docile creatures in the entire ocean.

Will Zimmerman:
You got to stop using that word to describe it, 'cause it is not docile.

Will Zimmerman:
Okay, well, you must have been stranded at sea before.

Helen Magnus:
Only once. April 14th, 1912.

Helen Magnus:
I own a villa in Italy, on Capri, near Naples. I go there every seven years.

Will Zimmerman:
Seven years?

Helen Magnus:
Yeah, for a long weekend.

Will Zimmerman:
Wow, I take it back. You really do know how to unwind.

Helen Magnus:
That's about as long as I can stand doing nothing. British, remember

Will Zimmerman:
Let me get this straight; you own a villa in Italy, and you never told me about it?

Helen Magnus:
I own a lot of things you don't know about.

Will Zimmerman:
Okay, that is definitely not a baby vampire squid!

Helen Magnus:
[seeing the squid surfacing] Hello, beastie.

Will Zimmerman:
Wow! You blew the whole thing! It's just gone! You're crazy, you know that you're absolutely, certifiably insane!

Helen Magnus:
That was pretty cool.

Will Zimmerman:
Pretty cool? Yeah! That was like James Bond-Die Hard-cool!

Helen Magnus:
Never let it be said that I don't know how to show someone a good time.

Will Zimmerman:
It's hard, isn't it? Finding someone worth anything?

Helen Magnus:
You're kidding, right? I mean, there's plenty of fish in the sea.

Will Zimmerman:
No-no-no, no-no-no. You didn't just make that joke! You didn't just make that joke right here!

Helen Magnus:
You laughed!

Will Zimmerman:
No. I didn't. It was derisively, out of pity.

Helen Magnus:
Nah, a laugh's a laugh.

Will Zimmerman:
Yeah, no. I was just choking on helicopter fuel.

Jimmy:
[to Helen] I love the hair.

Henry Foss:
[on phone] Destroy your walkie right now!

Helen Magnus:
[drops her walkie, stomps on it] Now, tell me why I just did that.

Jimmy revives Kate with mouth-to-mouth]

Kate Freelander:
What happened?

Jimmy:
Oh, nothing much; you, uh, stopped breathing, so I, uh, took the opportunity to make out with you.

Jimmy:
So, Cubs or Sox?

Kate Freelander:
Seriously? If I wanted to fat guys running around I'd watch Reality TV.

Jimmy:
Wow! And you say you're from Chicago. Next you'll be telling me you don't like pizza.

Kate Freelander:
My dad was a Cubs fan; so I guess that makes me one too.

Jimmy:
Yeah... See? I knew I should have left that bullet in.

Helen Magnus:
Let me make one thing perfectly clear; if you have touched so much as one hair on Will Zimmerman's head, there is not enough real estate on this Earth to keep you safe from me.

Will Zimmerman:
Yeah. Well, I'm off to see Sally. Hey, what kind of thank-you gift do you get for a mermaid?

Helen Magnus:
Oh! She really likes it if you swim with her.

Will Zimmerman:
Huh... I'll get my suit.

Helen Magnus:
Ah... [smiles] No suit.

Kate Freelander:
It's funny. I always wondered what I would do if I ever figured out who killed my father. Turns out it's not as black and white as I thought.

Helen Magnus:
Life rarely is.

Kate Freelander:
[badly imitating Will] "We're going on a trip," he says. "It'll be fun!" he says.

Will Zimmerman:
Please stop talking for two minutes, he says.

Ravi:
Dr. Zimmerman, Miss Freelander. Namaste. I am Dr. Ganapathiraman.

Will Zimmerman:
Hi, Doctor... [gives up] Doctor. I'm Will.

Ravi:
Then you must call me Ravi.

Will Zimmerman:
Thank God.

Kate Freelander:
Armor-piercing 9 mil; still jagged, Russian, pricey. [smiles at Ravi] You thought I was just a token Indian didn't you?

Declan Macrae:
How was Egypt?

Helen Magnus:
[sighs] Ah. Tiring... and what's the other word I'm looking for? Ah, yes, sandy.

Ravi:
Body's downstairs. We're ready to start the autopsy.

Will Zimmerman:
Wow, uh. I am jet lagged. I think I better turn in. But why don't you do the autopsy and we'll go over the results tomorrow?

Ravi:
I thought he was a doctor?

Kate Freelander:
He is... just not the kind that likes autopsies.

Edward Forsythe:
Hmm... Magnus' people. It would be so crappy if they got to the bug before us.

Helen Magnus:
The truth is, I broke the rules that I myself set into place. I knew it would come back and haunt me sooner or later.

Helen Magnus:
It was my choice not to kill her. If I thought it would be popular I wouldn't have kept it secret.

Kate Freelander:
You'd think a white guy wandering the street screaming about Kali would get noticed.

Ravi:
Not really. It's Mumbai.

Kate Freelander:
Did you...just make a pass at me?

Ravi:
Warming up to it. Not that my parents would approve of you, of course. I'm joking. They'd love you.

Kate Freelander:
Really?

Ravi:
No.

Ravi:
Suddenly such a delicate flower.

Kate Freelander:
Oh, bite me.

Henry Foss:
Dude, you cannot be serious.

Terrance Wexford:
Don't interfere... dude.

Assam:
You must be desperate indeed.

Helen Magnus:
[puts pistol down on table] Desperate was last month.

Nikola Tesla:
Young love is so...heartbreaking to observe, as a scientist. So passionate, so innocent, and yet, so utterly doomed.

Will Zimmerman:
Huh. So I'm guessing you've never been in love, then.

Nikola Tesla:
Countless times, my friend. See, the difference is I recognize the emotion for what it is: An irrational, self-destructive impulse which is disguised as joy.

Nikola Tesla:
Your shaggy friend is still refusing treatment and frankly, I’m insulted.

Will Zimmerman:
Oh right, yeah, because I forgot - this is all about you.

Nikola Tesla:
I have spent weeks creating a working treatment for the Lazarus virus, I spent weeks more traveling the earth disseminating it to the affected abnormals, effectively stemming an outbreak, and in the end the creep in the room with the hair doesn’t want to take his medicine! It’s personal and we both know it is.

John Druitt:
If you're going to help, do try to remain sober.

Nikola Tesla:
Half-vampire! Alcohol doesn't affect me. Though since you showed up, God I wish it did.

Helen Magnus:
Explains why my wine cellar is now empty.

Nikola Tesla:
Consider it payment for averting a global crisis.

Helen Magnus:
Nothing personal?! They have my daughter! Now where was that boat headed?

Kate Freelander:
Look, I have no idea!

Helen Magnus:
[aims gun at Kate's leg] Get used to sitting more.

Kate Freelander:
[about Helen] Must be fun asking her for a raise.

Will Zimmerman:
You know, you might want to spend a little less time with Jack the Ripper. It's affecting your manners somewhat.

Dana's Doctor:
You know, even if they put all the little pieces together, it would take them years to figure out what we're doing.

Dana:
It's Helen Magnus and Nikola Tesla.

Dana's Doctor:
...[nods] Right.

Helen Magnus:
Not a single genetic defect or latent abnormality in her DNA.

Nikola Tesla:
Makes me sleepy just looking at it.

Henry Foss:
Have fun... [Druitt appears, grabs Helen, teleports away with her] ...storming the castle.

Kate Freelander:
Trying to domesticate one of these things, that's like putting C-4 through the Play-Doh Fun Factory.

Will Zimmerman:
Last time I saw Jack with Rachel, he was pretty docile. She was even teaching him sign language.

Kate Freelander:
Well hey, I'm no scientist, but you teach a deadly abnormal how to talk and all you'll get is a deadly, talking abnormal.

Kate Freelander:
Do the cops have one of these gizmos?

Henry Foss:
They wish they did.

Kate Freelander:
That's amazing... in like a total geeky kind of way.

Will Zimmerman:
Wow, jealous much?

Will Zimmerman:
I know what you're going to say. That if you could teach a lion to speak you still wouldn't understand him... your dad's favorite expression.

Helen Magnus:
Because we often make the egocentric mistake of believing that abnormals think the same way we do; that their worldview and logic patterns are similar. In most cases even with the most intelligent species they simply aren't.

Will Zimmerman:
In the real world forensics is under-staffed, under-funded and backlogged to the nines.

Kate Freelander:
Oh. Well, score one for the criminals, then.

Will Zimmerman:
Put it this way, if I had this tech to work with you'd have been behind bars years ago.

Kate Freelander:
No, I wouldn't.

Will Zimmerman:
Hey, you know, this would be a lot easier with Henry's help.

Helen Magnus:
He's unavailable.

Will Zimmerman:
Why, again?

Helen Magnus:
[flustered pause] He's... on a mission of utmost importance, I was sworn to absolute secrecy.

Will Zimmerman:
Wait a second... San Diego Comic Con? That's the mission of utmost importance?

Helen Magnus:
You did not hear it from me.

Nikola Tesla:
Wealthy parents ship their drug-addled teenagers to me. They arrive, their poor little bodies wracked by the best designer drugs trust funds can buy - it breaks your heart. But then, after one week of treatment, I send them home to mater and pater completely cured of all addictions.

Will Zimmerman:
Woah woah woah, one week? That's impossible.

Nikola Tesla:
Which part of "I am a genius" aren't you getting?

Nikola Tesla:
[to Helen] I notice you do seem a bit on edge. Might I suggest one of our green tea detox massages? It makes you feel 100 again.

Nikola Tesla:
The little bastard. [slams laptop closed] This was supposed to be my party! Nobody hijacks Nikola Tesla!

Darrin:
Look, Chad, I'm starting to get a bad feeling about all this.

Chad:
What, you're going to bail because of one screw up?

Darrin:
[pointing to corpse on floor] That's what you call dead Steve?

Chad:
You know I was hoping you'd be a bit more cooperative.

Nikola Tesla:
Yeah, well, life's a bitch and then you don't die.

Kate Freelander:
You call this a plan? Whatever happened to The good old stake through the heart?

Will Zimmerman:
Doesn’t work.

Kate Freelander:
What about all those movies, like Buffy…

Helen Magnus:
Misinformation propaganda. Spread by the vampires themselves— Confuse the enemy, preserve the race.

Kate Freelander:
What about exposing them to sunlight or garlic?

Will Zimmerman:
All you get is tanned vampires with bad breath.

Helen Magnus:
Besides, we don’t want to kill them. We want to help them.

Kate Freelander:
No, I’m thinking kill them.

Will Zimmerman:
Yeah. Trust-fund vampires? I’m thinking she’s right.

Helen Magnus:
Granted, but it wasn’t their choice. They may be rich, spoiled, insolent children, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t save them.

[Kate and Will look at each other skeptically.]

Helen Magnus:
That’s a terrible sales pitch.

Kate Freelander:
Yeah.

Kate Freelander:
So it's just us against a bunch of bad ass bloodsuckin' immortals, huh? Well, it's a good thing we have our magic glass stick that we don't know how to use. Otherwise, I would be worried.

[Helen, Kate, and Will have been captured by Tesla's vampire lackeys]

Nikola Tesla:
Well, well, well, the appetizers have arrived.

Helen Magnus:
Well this is the last time I come to your rescue!

Nikola Tesla:
I've often wondered what this moment would be like: me, you, tied up. It's a shame you brought the children.

Helen Magnus:
Focus, Nikola.

Nikola Tesla:
I call it... the De-Vamper!

Kate Freelander:
You're a genius and that is the best name you could come up with?

Nikola Tesla:
[Points at Kate] Watch it!

Nikola Tesla:
Forgive me, Helen. It's just my soul-crushing depression talking. I'm not myself.

Helen Magnus:
On the contrary; you are your real self again: human, mortal-

Nikola Tesla:
Watch your language.

Helen Magnus:
I'm sorry, Nikola, but it's true. I've tried everything I can think of. There's simply no way to "re-vamp" you.

Nikola Tesla:
You see how this puts a crimp in my plans for world domination? Not to say I won't keep trying.

Helen Magnus:
I would expect nothing less.

Nikola Tesla:
Very well, if this is to be a wake, then lets do it properly. Join me in a toast: To happier times, to those halcyon times of blood lust, now gone. Plus you got to admit vampires are just plain cool.

Helen Magnus:
[laughing] Amen.

Nikola Tesla:
Here's to the glorious vampire race, once mighty, now extinct.

Henry Foss:
[about a sinking boat] Yeah, not so good. Celine Dion should start singing about now. Sorry, disaster joke, not funny.

Will Zimmerman:
Molly?

Henry Foss:
Modified O-wave Linear Expeller.

Will Zimmerman:
Doesn't that acronym spell "mole"?

Henry Foss:
Molly's hotter.

Will Zimmerman:
Dude, it's a weapon, not a woman.

Henry Foss:
Hey, clearly you and I have not dated the same girls.

Henry Foss:
Your freeware media player created a conflict in the com port access base.

Kate Freelander:
Henry, why is it whenever you talk all I hear is "blah, blah, blah, blah"?

John Druitt:
I am who I am! It's high time you did something about it.

Helen Magnus:
He wanted me to kill him.

Kate Freelander:
No offense but you guys got a seriously messed up relationship.

Helen Magnus:
It's complicated.

Helen Magnus:
This is Whitechapel all over again.

Kate Freelander:
Don’t you guys update your safety equipment?

Big Guy:
Constantly.

Kate Freelander:
Yeah? Well then why isn’t anything working? Where’s the disembodied voice saying, “Chill out, help’s coming”?

Big Guy:
I’m that voice.

Kate Freelander:
Is help coming?

Big Guy:
...No.

Helen Magnus:
All of you, knock out your security cameras as... politely as possible.

Helen Magnus:
You said you feel "different". What do you mean by that?

John Druitt:
The darkness within me is...gone. Completely. Far more than when Tesla shot me, that was appeasement, but this...this is...so peaceful.

Henry Foss:
[regains control of a system] Yes! Suck it, electro! This is my town!

Helen Magnus:
John, what's its agenda?

John Druitt:
Chaos, death, suffering...sound familiar?

John Druitt:
Let me go.

Helen Magnus:
John, you don't have to do this. We could find a way--

John Druitt:
I love you. Remember that... always.

John Druitt:
[to Helen] For all eternity.

John Druitt:
I need to leave now.

Helen Magnus:
Where are you going?

John Druitt:
I have no destination in mind.