Skins, Series 4

Kosoke Tomone:
Who is that?

Pandora:
Um, hello Kosoke.

Kosoke Tomone:
[to Thomas] You know my rules.

Pandora:
It was too late to get home. We're not gonna, you know, do anything.

Kosoke Tomone:
Like what?

Pandora:
You know...having sex. We're not gonna have sex. We won't do that.

Kosoke Tomone:
No?

Pandora:
Yeah, I mean, uh, well, we have done stuff, um, possibly, possibly, not those, or, well, maybe you could say those.

Thomas:
Okay, maybe you should stop talking now.

Pandora:
Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. [under her breath] Bloody Hell.

Kosoke Tomone:
Someone tell me please where to find a virgin in this country.

Pandora:
[long silence] Uh, well, it's difficult.

Thomas:
Is that the answer for everything? To go and get pissed?

Pandora:
No, Häagen-Dazs is the answer for everything.

Andrea:
Everybody! Jesus says shut up. So, we were just about to sing a song, weren't we? So what shall we sing?

Kid 1:
Rihanna!

Kid 2:
Lady Gaga!

Kid 3:
Béyonce!

Andrea:
Those are all people who can't really sing, don't wear very many clothes, and get married far too young. What do we call those sorts of people?

Kids:
Americans!

[Thomas' mother is scolding him. He finds it difficult to conceal his rage]

Mother:
What do you know about bringing children up? I have given everything to you, all my life. And now you want to tell me what to do? You have no respect! If your father was here, he would beat you-

Thomas:
[snaps] My father is dead! And he's of no use to us! [His mother's eyes widen in shock, and he storms out]

Emily:
You told Graham that I was straight?

Jenna Fitch:
He's known you since you were a little girl!

Emily:
He's as gay as a window!

Jenna Fitch:
He's an adult, he's earned the right to be gay. You're too young to know what you are.

Effy:
How was your summer?

Freddie:
Not bad. Got chlamydia.

Effy:
Wow! Exotic!

Freddie:
That's what I said. But then I realised Cook had it as well, and it didn't feel quite so special.

Effy:
I bet it liked you more.

Naomi:
[Sophia] she stalked me!

Emily:
You're very stalkable.

Sophia:
[voiceover, as Emily reads her comic] I can't stop crying. I've tried to stop thinking, but it doesn't work. You don't expect stuff to happen; you can't control it, you can't control anything. So I'm at this stupid open day and everyone's snotty and rude and then I see someone. [Sophia meets Naomi: "I recognise someone. I tap her shoulder; she turns and smiles"] I never even spoke to her at Roundview, but it didn't seem to matter because everything got really fun. [Naomi and Sophia on the train: "I had to tell a lie to come here."; "So did I."] And by the time we were on our way home, we were telling secrets, and I wanted to move my hand, I wanted to move it so much. [Sophia holds Naomi's hand] And then she moved hers. I wish I told Naomi how easy it is for me to love someone. We're all lonely and all we want is for someone to... [Naomi and Sophia at Naomi's house: "I feel trapped."; "I know what you mean."] you know, pay attention and tell us we're beautiful... and cute... and say that we want to... [Sophia cries over an animated panel of her and Naomi kissing; Emily finishes reading and cries].

Naomi:
[crying] I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

[Sophia's brother takes the comic from Emily and drops it from a high-rise building, and walks past Naomi angrily.]

Emily:
You've ruined it. You don't want anyone to care. [Stands up and looks at the road below] I could be dead in a second. Everything's... so... fragile. Didn't you realise that? We were special. [Emily steps down from the ledge and walks past Naomi]

Naomi:
I was scared!

Emily:
You're always scared.

[Cook is talking with his lawyer]

Cook:
Not guilty.

Duncan:
James, you did punch the f*** out of Shanky. In front of eighty-three witnesses.

Paddy:
Will you go to prison?

Cook:
I might.

Paddy:
But if you say sorry won't they let you go?

Cook:
I'm not sorry.

Paddy:
Why?

Cook:
Never say sorry, kid.

Paddy:
Why?

Cook:
Cause you're not a pussy, are you?

Paddy:
No.

Cook:
We don't play their game, do we? We don't play anyone's game.

Paddy:
Except for Rock Band. We can play that.

JJ:
You know, love's thoroughly overrated, Panda. I've never even had a girlfriend, look how happy I am... in between minor psychological breakdowns. Sure, all the serotonin, and endorphins, and sex, et cetera, feel good, but really, love? An illusion. It can't last Nope.

James:
I hate KFC.

Katie:
What?

James:
Elliot Evans' parents got divorced, and his dad spent every night in KFC. Then he met this woman, she had a huge problem. So he tried to help her, and her friend got really angry, and he ended up with only one kneecap. And now, his mum's doing pornos, and his dad's a junkie, and he never sees them! Except on the internet, and then he has to pay for it. I mean, how unfair is that!?

[Emily's kissing another girl infront of Naomi]

Naomi:
What the f*** are you doing Emily? Emily, f***ing stop this shit now!

[Emily push naomi in the pool]

Emily:
Naomi darling, am I making you nice and wet?

Naomi:
F*** you! [Gets up from the pool] This is a f***ing pantomime!

[Emily gets up and push Naomi]

Emily:
F*** you right back!

Katie:
Ems, stop it.

Emily:
Stay out of this.

Naomi:
What? Want to f*** her? Is that it?

Emily:
Maybe I do. So what?

Jenna:
That's enough! What's this all about?

Emily:
It's none of your business.

Naomi:
I f***ed the dead girl. I f***ed Sophia and gave her the drugs and now she's punishing me for it.

Jenna:
I knew you'd screw her up!

Rob:
Hey! Good news everyone! I found us a caravan. What have I missed?

Emily:
Why don't you all just f*** off? Look at you. Pretending to be happy families, pretending to love each other.

Jenna:
Don't you dare speak to me like that!

Emily:
Get off your high horse!

Jenna:
I can't... I can't be here any more.

Emily:
Bit melodramatic. Remind you of anyone?

[Katie slaps Emily]

James:
Stop it.

Katie:
Uhhh!

Rob:
Come on son.

[Emily's Crying]

Naomi:
Em...

[Katie is bathing, when Thomas comes in to relieve himself, locking the door]

Katie:
Oh...

Thomas:
Merde! Sorry! [goes to unlock the door, but breaks the lock handle] Ah! Super merde! JJ! Emily! [knocks] JJ! I think they've all gone out.

Katie:
Bollocks. You gonna stand there until they get back?

Thomas:
Yes, yes, I'll get you a towel and... [sees the towel rack is empty] Putain!

[Katie trips Candy from behind; Candy gets up, pushes Katie]

Candy:
Who the f*** do you think you are?

[Katie punches Candy in the nose; Candy falls to the ground again]

Katie:
I'm Katie f***ing Fitch! Who the f*** are you?

Katie:
Why are you being nice to me?

Effy:
Life's too short.

Katie:
You're such a f***ing cliché.

Katie:
So what's it like?

Effy:
What's what like?

Katie:
Love.

Effy:
Great. It's really lovely.

Katie:
That sounded convincing.

Effy:
It's fine. Nothing's ever perfect, you know?

Katie:
I thought it could be. I wanted the perfect boyfriend, perfect marriage, perfect everything.

Effy:
What's changed?

Katie:
Me. I don't know who I am any more.

Effy:
I thought you were Katie f***ing Fitch.

Freddie:
You coming down?

Effy:
I'm up. Way up. This is me happy.

T. Love:
What would Michael say?

Freddie:
Pardon?

T. Love:
[motions to his Michael Jackson poster] Michael. What would he say?

Freddie:
I'm... bad?

T. Love:
Yes. And what else?

Freddie:
Beat it?

T. Love:
No. He'd say "gotta be startin' somethin'". Okay? [silence] Don't you think you should be leaving?

Freddie:
Right now? [Mr. Love responds in the affirmative; Freddie leaves.]

Freddie:
Okay. So what do you do when you can't take anyone's shit because I might really f*** things up and you don't know what to do or what's happening you just know that something really f***ing bad is going down.

T. Love:
Just... [turns to his Michael Jackson poster and stares at it for a while before turning back to Freddie] No. I think, and I'm not sure... I think you've got me there.

Freddie:
I totally f***ing love you. Nows the bit you say...

Effy:
Don't move.

[Freddie lays down next to Effy and points at the clowds]

Freddie:
That one's JJ.

Effy:
Their faces... Behind the skin.

Freddie:
The skin?

Effy:
Between this world and the next. Their teeth and their claws comming out trying to break through.

Freddie:
Did you drop something in the cab?

Effy:
Like a fart or something?

Freddie:
No, like a tab or something.

Effy:
A tab with your face on it. Here. A hole that fits mine. The moment I saw you, I knew it'd be the closest I'd get to being... close. I didn't know what to do with that feeling... happiness.

Freddie:
Listen, Effy, you are the closest I'm ever-

Effy:
But they know now! And they're hungry. Really f***ing hungry. Because for as long as I've known, they've been chasing me and now they're ready, now they're strong enough to break through. And I can't fight them. I used to be able to when I was strong but... you've made me weak. And now I can't, I can't!

[Effy looks to the left in panic]

Freddie:
Effy there's no one f***ing there! Effy!

Effy:
I can't! Let me go!

Freddie:
Effy, listen. What do you want me to do?

Effy:
They're ready now!

Freddie:
Effy, stay here!

Effy:
They're comming!

Freddie:
I'll fight them! Is that going to stop you? I'll f***ing fight them!

[Freddie runs to fight Effys mental ghosts]

Freddie:
F*** off! F*** off! You cunts, I'll kill you all!

Effy:
You're no good for me, Cook. You never were.

Cook:
If this was us meeting for the first time, I'd do it all again. Everything. The f***s, the f*** ups, everything. I'd do it all again.

Effy:
What's that supposed to mean?

Cook:
It means I still love you.

Effy:
Piss off.

Naomi:
Afternoon.

Effy:
How's the real world?

Naomi:
Fine... well, I don't know actually. Me and Emily, we're all... since... you know... the... and I don't know what we're doing... if we're OK, or if we're about to break up. Sometimes I think she can read my mind. I seriously do. I mean is that... normal? Is that what you... Eff?

Effy:
You think you're going mad, so you came to see me to see what a mad person looks like.

Naomi:
No. No! No! [beat] Yes.

Effy:
Listen to me very carefully, Naomi: you need to get a message to the Dog Lord of Azerbaijan. He's got my toilet ticket.

[Effy and Naomi pause, and then burst out laughing]

Naomi:
Oh, God, what are they giving you... and can I have some?

Effy:
This whole thing with this girl, Sophia. Why don't you just imagine it never happened?

Naomi:
But it did.

Effy:
Yeah, but if you tried to think like you didn't...

Naomi:
But, Am I missing something? You can't change what's already happened. I wish you could. But... you just can't.

Effy:
What are you doing here?

Freddie:
I want an explanation.

Effy:
Freddie!

Freddie:
Do you know what you've done to me? You're dumping me for no reason at all.

Effy:
I have reasons.

Freddie:
Well if the urge to tell me any of them occurs then please let me know. Or did John steal your soul as well as your past?

Anthea:
Tea and biscuits?

Effy:
Mum!

Freddie:
The night before you dumped me you told me that you loved me.

Effy:
I know.

Freddie:
So look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me now.

Effy:
Don't do that! I went crazy when I was with you. I can't let that happen again. Love is not supposed to do that. You made me go mad.

Freddie:
You making me mad now, Effy. And that's exactly what love's supposed to do.

[Naomi is confronting Emily]

Naomi:
[steadily breaking down in tears; Emily starts to cry as well] I loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was 12. It took me 3 years to pluck up the courage to speak to you and I was so scared of the way I felt, you know, loving a girl. I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch just to make it feel normal. I screwed guys to make it go away but it didn't work. When we got together, it scared the shit out of me because you were the one person who could ruin my life. I pushed you away. I made you think things were your fault but really, I was just terrified of pain. I screwed that girl, Sophia, to kind of spite you for having that hold on me and I'm a total f***ing coward because [reaches into her bag] I got [pulls out tickets] these, these tickets to Goa for us 3 months ago but I... I couldn't stand it. I didn't want to be a slave to the way I feel about you. Can you understand? You were trying to punish me back and it's horrible. It's so horrible because, really, I'd die for you. I love you. I love you so much it's killing me.

[Beat. Emily then kisses and hugs Naomi.]

[Cook has discovered John Foster has killed Freddie. Dramatic music plays]

Cook:
I don't think you know what I am, mate.

John Foster:
I think I do. You're nothing. [Cook nods sarcastically] You don't deserve that girl. And you know... I do.

Cook:
[mockingly] I'm a f***ing waste of space. I'm just a stupid kid. I got no sense. A criminal. I'm no f***ing use, me. I am nothing. So, please... Please... Get it into, you know, into your bonce... that you killed my friend. And... [shrugs] I'm Cook. [John Foster smiles] I'M COOK! [throws a punch. Series ends]