The Loud House, Season 6

Auntie Pam:
[blowing her whistle, making Liam's twin goats stop fighting] Disqualified!

Liam:
Disqualified? For what?

Auntie Pam:
Violation of Auntie Pam's Double Trouble Contract. I can't have my twins fighting. They need to be united.

Lola:
It's no fair! That crown ice cream should be ours!

[The Loud twins screech to a stop when they see Liam's twin goats fighting over his shirt and they flee]

Liam:
[emerges from the bushes, shirtless, chasing after them] Hey, wait up, fellers!

Lana:
At least we didn't get disqualified for fighting, right?

Lola:
[gets an idea] Fight clause! Lana, maybe there's a way we can still win! Cheryl and Meryl just need to start bickering, and Auntie Pam will make us the Double Trouble twins!

Lana:
But how do we know they'll fight?

Lola:
'Cause you and I are going to make them.

[That evening at the Chateau Royal apartments, Meryl is sobbing while watching the "Southern Hospitality" season finale by herself]

Cheryl:
[enters, with her face covered in bee stings; tired out] Ooh, boy, did I have a dickens of a day. And are you watching the "Southern Hospitality" finale without me?!

Meryl:
Uh, you called and told me to.

Cheryl:
That is a backhoe of lies! I think I would remember something like that!

Meryl:
You calling me a fibber?!

Cheryl:
If the kitten heel fits!

Meryl:
How dare you?!

Cheryl:
[turns away] Hmph!

Meryl:
Oh and B-T-dubs, Wayland is the pie thief! [blows her nose as her twin gasps in shock over being spoiled]

[As they angrily go their separate ways, the Loud twins are watching through the sliding glass door and smirk at each other]

Lana:
Ever since Flip found the label, he's been attempting to call and ask her to dinner. But he keeps chickening out.

Flip:
Hey, chickening out is a bit harsh.

Hipster Ghost:
This used to be my pad, brahs. And I need to find out who rid Hipster Island.

Cheryl:
I use bra pads, too. But we gotta see if Sue Ellen chooses Brad, or his evil twin, Chad.

Lucy:
You could always record Southern Hospitality and watch it later.

Lincoln:
[as Mayor Davis gives him a button that reads…] "Honorary Jr. Mayor?" Thanks, Mayor Davis.

Mayor Davis:
It's the least I can do since you're helping to save the town.

Lincoln:
So do I get to play your keyboard?

Mayor Davis:
[plays buzzing sound on her keyboard] Don't push it, kid. Okay, time to hear ideas to save Royal Woods!

Joyce:
[fuming with fury] I will be back tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. with a demolition team! Royal Woods is history! [the giant Flippee can tips over and destroys her car] YOU CRUSHED MY CAR! [notices her dolphin bobblehead also crushed] Donna! [to the citizens] Make that 9:00 a.m.! GOODBYE, ROYAL WOODS! [storms off, angrily]

Demolition Worker #1:
That kid with the white hair is right! This town is special, and so is my town!

Demolition Worker #2:
And so is mine. No town deserves to be flooded by you. Get your promotion some other way, Crandall. We don't want a sixth lake.

Joyce:
[groans] You bunch of babies! Ugh! Come on, Donna, we'll do it ourselves.

Lola:
I don't know. Might not be the best look to flood a precious small town on live television.

Katherine:
This is Katherine Mulligan, covering the destruction of my town in HD-

Joyce:
[yanks Katherine away; chuckles] I mean, I would never flood this beautiful town. [waves] Hi, Mom, happy birthday.

Todd:
Call for you.

Oversecretary:
[on phone] Joyce, this is the Oversecretary. I saw everything. Bulldozing a perfectly good town on live TV? YOU'RE FIRED!

[Joyce screams in agony and defeat]

Todd:
[comforting her] There, there.

Joyce:
Don't touch me.

Lincoln:
We did it! Royal Woods is saved!

Lincoln:
[as Chandler blocks his view with a giant cardboard of his head] Huh? Chandler, do you mind?

[Chandler snickers sinisterly]

Scoots:
What kind of run is that, Loud?! Looks more like an emu trotting across the outback.

Lynn:
[annoyed] Oh, great. Scoots.

[As the Loud family return home later that evening, they enter through the kitchen as Lynn storms upstairs to her and Lucy's room in frustration after being heckled by Scoots]

Rita:
I've never seen Lynn freeze up like that. I hope she doesn't take it too hard. [proven wrong when loud thundering is heard from upstairs; worriedly] Oh, no! She's rage-lifting again! And those sound like 50-pounders.

Lisa:
[imitating buzzer] Correction: 60-pounders.

Lincoln:
Uh… I'll go talk to her.

Judge:
[on footage as Lola performs her ribbon routine; disgruntled] Ugh. Just a rehash of her ribbon dance of the Little Miss Miss Thing Pageant. Excuse me while I yawn.

Lynn Sr.:
[on footage] Oh, boy. Where's the ding-dang-darn erase button?!

Lynn:
Okay, so maybe Lola has a critic, too. How's that supposed to help me?

Lincoln:
I thought you might say that. What if I could show that it's not just Lola, it's everyone in our family.

Lynn:
Fine. If it'll keep the emus out of my head, I'll give you a chance. But, if you're wrong, I get to give you 100 noogies.

Lincoln:
[nervously] Is there any room for negotiation?

Burnt Bean Manager:
[as the Moon Goats perform] Ugh! This group sounds worse than my grandma's piccolo band. And you call that foam?

Lincoln:
[pulling up Luan's comedy blog on the computer, showing Lynn the comments] Check out these comments on Luan's comedy blog. This user, You're_Not_Funny_123, writes a lot. "Not funny", thumbs-down emoji, "noot fubby"… I think they meant to write "not funny" again. But you get the idea.

[While the Louds eat spaghetti and meatballs for dinner at the dining room table later that evening…]

Rita:
[impressed] Wow, that's your sixth plate tonight, honey. You must be feeling better.

Lynn:
Oh, yeah. Thanks to this guy. [points to her brother, with everyone looking at him] He helped me see that I shouldn't make such a big deal about having a critic. Everyone has 'em, especially you guys.

Lola:
I think you mean everybody but me. [chuckles]

Lynn:
Well, no. You have that one judge who says your ribbon routine is weaksauce. Oh, wait, no, no, wait, no, no. Lame. No, no, wait. What was the word she used, Lincoln?

Lincoln:
Uninspired.

Lynn:
Bingo. There it is. [Lola whimpers and sulks in dismay] Relax. It's not just you. Lincoln pointed out that you all have a hater. Tell 'em.

Lincoln:
Sure. Well, Luna, the Burnt Bean manager thinks her grandma's piccolo band is better than the Moon Goats. [Luna sulks] Luan, one user thinks you're about as funny as a stubbed toe. [Luan also sulks] Dad, Mr. Grouse thinks you should stick to lasagnas. Mom, one reader said your advice ruined her life. And Lisa, some scientists are really over Todd. [One-by-one, Lynn Sr., Rita, and Lisa all sulk]

Lynn:
Knowing you guys all have critics sure made me feel better. Linky, can you pass the salt?

Lincoln:
You betcha.

[Later throughout the night, the Louds have trouble sleeping after Lincoln exposed their critics]

Lisa:
[mumbling] Over Todd…

Lola:
[snorts] Uninspired…

Luna:
[gnawing on her own bed sheets] Piccolos…

Rita:
[bolting out of bed] I ruined her life!

Lynn Sr.:
Stick to lasagna… [attempts to leave sobbing but falls off the bed]

Luna:
I think we should open with this song tonight. What do you think, Chunkster? [suddenly hallucinates the Burnt Bean manager's face on Chunk]

Imaginary Burnt Bean Manager:
[disgusted] I hate it! Why did I ever hire you? [ejects the tape and chucks it out of the van] I should have gone with Grandma Gertie!

Luna:
[turns around and hallucinates the manager's face on Sam, Mazzy, and Sully, all laughing at her; can't take it anymore] STOP!

Chunk:
[abruptly stops his van on an intersection] Give a bloke some warning next time, love.

[That evening, the criticized Louds angrily return home and confront Lincoln after being hallucinated by their critics]

Luna:
Why did you have to tell us about our haters, dude?

Lisa:
Now we're all freezing up!

Lincoln:
Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just trying to help Lynn.

Lynn:
[punches a hole in the front door, irately] Stinkoln! [opens the door and enters the house, grumbling]

Lincoln:
[nervously] I hope that's a happy "Stinkoln."

Lynn:
Your dumb "cure" didn't cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game, it was at the mall food court!

Lincoln:
Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? [to his family] Why are any of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.

Mr. Coconuts:
It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!

Lola:
You just go around ruining lives!

[They all leave the living room, disgusted]

Lynn Sr.:
What a life-ruiner.

[After Lincoln and the criticized Louds watch some footage of him being heckled and teased by Chandler…]

Lynn:
Dude, that Chandler's a real jerk.

Lincoln:
Yeah, he is. But he doesn't bother me, and that's the whole point. I mean, at first he really got to me, but the more I ignored him, the easier it got. Plus, why should I care what he has to say? I'm doing what I love. And that's all that matters.

Rita:
And if you can handle Chandler, I think we can handle our critics. Right, everyone?

Luna:
Totally.

Lynn Sr.:
Yeah, I guess so.

Mr. Bolhofner:
That’s not the song!

Harold:
I was jamming out, taking the accordion for a little walk.

Mr. Bolhofner:
Jamming is for hippies.

Mr. Bolhofner:
The Doo Dads are Doo Dead. We are Raging Bolhofners! AAAAAAAH! [The band plays really horrible, when he start]

Lincon and Clyde:
What?!

Mr. Bolhofner:
Ha! Ha! Ohh! Ha! Ah, who's ready now?

Lincon:
This is awful!

Mr. Bolhofner:
Who cut the power?

Lincon:
I did!

Liam:
Jumpin' jackalopes. How in the world did she steal our stories?

Scoots:
[pointing to Mick Swagger after Katherine Mulligan exposed him out of disguise] Nobody punks us, Brit boy! Pudding him!

Stella:
I don't get it! How does Katherine Mulligan keep scooping us?!

Rusty:
Someone has to be leaking to her. My cousin Derek's starting to be a plumber. He says you have to find a leak and plug it or it gets worse.

Lincoln:
Rusty's right. If we don't do something, this could be the end of the Action News Team.

Rusty:
We shouldn't be following the rat. We should wait at the nest.

Liam:
What in the manure pile does that even mean?

Rusty:
Katherine is the nest, dawgs! If we follow her, the "leaker", or "rat", is gonna come to her!

Lincoln:
Then we'll have our culprit! Rusty, that's a brilliant idea! Looks like it's time for an Action News Team undercover investigation!

Lincoln:
Okay, so Stella made a notebook of some "hot news leads", but they're all "fake." We "accidentally" drop it here by Principal Ramirez's car. As the "rat," she "finds it" and takes it to "the nest." Any questions?

Clyde:
Can you go over that one more time? I got lost in all the air quotes.

Rusty:
The jig is up, Katherine "Shady Shader" Mulligan! The book Principal Ramirez was going to give you, is a bunch of phony news leaks we planted! Bam! [looks closely at the book cover] "Passion under the Pompeii Moon?" Uh-oh.

Principal Ramierz:
[snatches the book from him, angrily] You bet you're "uh-oh." Ms. Mulligan and I are in a book club together. Now someone get me out of here.

Katherine:
That's the story. We've been meeting to swap novels we're reading.

Stella:
So you weren't leaking our stories?

Principal Ramirez:
Of course not! this what you spend your time on, making false accusations?! I have half a mind to shut down the Action News Team.

Stella:
Please, don't!

Rusty:
No, dawg!

Lincoln:
We're sorry.

Liam:
Give us another chance.

Lincoln:
Hey, Dad, what if we took over the restaurant tonight?

Lynn Sr:
Aw, that's sweet of you guys, but a night alone's a big responsibility.

Lola:
[giggles] We know this place like the back of our flawless hands! [takes off her right glove and notices something] Ew! Time for a mani.

Lynn Sr.:
What the heck is going on in here?

[The Loud siblings all sigh, guilty]

Lincoln:
We really messed up.

Lynn:
Yeah, after you guys left, we busted up the living room.

Leni:
Then we tried to clean up but lost the furniture and ended up running all over town to get it back.

Lisa:
Hence our overactive eccrine glands, street name…

Lynn Sr.:
Sweatiness, we know. Look, I'm not jazzed about the cover-up but at least you guys tried to make things right.

Rita:
And this is a big family, mishaps come with the territory. It's the law of the Loud house.

Lisa:
Preach, Mother, preach.

Luna:
Still, we're so sorry about the couch, dudes.

Rita:
Maybe you should come see what's outside.

Lola:
A packed house? You mean people really come to your shows?

Luan:
Yep, and this time it would be YOUR show, just like your pageants. You'd be the star!

Lola:
[Slides back downstairs] You'd be the star is my FAVORITE sentence ever!

[After a long day of doing fisherman-related chores, the Loud kids sit at a campfire as Leonard plays accordion]

Lola:
Well, who's gonna start?

[The siblings do Nose Goes, and Lily is the last to react]

Lily:
[sighs] Dang it. [approaches Leonard] Gramps?

Leonard:
[chuckles] Yes, little minnow?

Lily:
Fishy stuff no fun. Bad for camp.

Leonard:
[stops playing] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whaddya mean?

Luna:
Gramps, dude, what Lily's trying to say is that all that fisherman stuff was great, when you were a fisherman.

Leni:
But it's not so great for a camp. You have to make people wanna come here.

[Lana receives an invitation and hides it in her hat]

Rita:
Lana, what are you hiding? Is that another note from Principal Huggins about bathing more frequently?

Lana:
No, he gave up on that. [takes the invitation out of her hat] It's an invitation to a sleepover my friend, Kayla's having. But as all of you know, I'm really bad at sleepovers.

Rita:
Oh, honey. You're not bad at them. You just… never made it through one.

Lana:
I always get so homesick.

Nana Gayle:
[seeing the portrait of Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti, thinks back to everything else] Fish cake, milk fountain, weird lady in a cat suit. Boys, what's going on?

Harold:
I'm sorry, Mom. We got so distracted planning Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti's graduation party that we… forgot your birthday.

Howard:
We thought if we brought everything from the cat's party here, we could still give you a great birthday.

Clyde:
[takes her hands] We're sorry, Nana. We really messed up.

Scoots:
Yeah, ya did! Come on, Gayle, let 'em have it! Mama loves the drama.

Gayle:
[laughs] There's no drama, Scoots.

Scoots:
Boo! Fine, I'll go take my own. Tyler! I told you your cats couldn't live with us. We're takin' 'em to your sister's.

[After a series of flashbacks of the Loud siblings breaking the vase Lynn Sr. and Rita got on their wedding, thus receiving an increased time period of grounding…]

Lincoln:
If Mom and Dad find out we broke the vase again, we'll definitely be grounded for the whole year.

Luna:
Can't we just get rid of it?

Lynn:
[imitates buzzer] They'd noticed. In case you haven't heard, it was a wedding gift.

Lucy:
That vase has been nothing but a pox on this house.

Lola:
Ugh! I wish Mom and Dad never got this heinous thing in the first place!

Todd:
[to Lisa] Are you thinking what I am thinking?

Lisa:
To the lab!

[Two minutes later, the siblings are all gathered in Lisa and Lily's room]

Lisa:
Siblings, I figured out a way to save our collective gluteus maximi. A while back, I unlocked the secret of time travel. I swore to never use it again, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan is simple: I'll travel back to the day of Mom and Dad's wedding. There, I'll prevent our parental units from ever receiving the vase. In layman's terms, no vase, no grounding. Any questions?

Lynn:
[raises her hand] Yeah… I've got one, brain box. Won't removing the vase affect the fabric of the space-time continuum?

Lisa:
Actually, that is a highly perceptive question.

Lynn:
[nudges Lola] Eh?

Lisa:
And I am stunned, quite frankly, it came out of your mouth. [Lola nudges Lynn in return while giggling] But don't worry, I have done the requisite calculations. I found that swapping the vase with another gift -- in this case, a mundane, gently used toaster -- would have the least impact on the space-time continuum.

Lisa:
[shocked to see all her siblings in the back seats] How in Galileo's micrometer did you get here?!

Lincoln:
We snuck into the back seat when you weren't looking. You have terrible peripheral vision.

Lana:
We wanna help you with the mission.

Lola:
And I'm not one to miss a party.

Lisa:
Fine… Since you're here, you can help me find the vase. But remember, it's crucial that we get it, swap it, and get out without being seen. Let's roll!

Lisa:
Well, it seems my hypothesis was correct. We've altered the course of history. [gulps in horror] I'm afraid… we don't exist!

[The other Loud siblings gasp in shock; End of Act 1, beginning Act 2]

Lincoln:
What do you mean, "we don't exist?"

Lisa:
We altered the timeline and erased our own existence. In this timeline, Mom and Dad never had kids. Huh, the question is why... Perhaps there is someone who could help us fill in the blanks.

[The parents return home with pizza and react in shock to see the broken vase]

Rita:
You broke our vase again?! [The Loud siblings all smile, not caring] And you're happy about it?

Lynn Sr.:
[sternly] Okay, that is it. Everyone is grounded for two months!

[Lincoln is inspecting a package that's been addressed to him as Lisa enters the living room, startling him]

Lisa:
Sibling? I'm discerning a heightened sense of anxiety. What's the prob?

Lincoln:
Ronnie Anne sent me that package, so anything could pop out.

Luan:
Well, I better take Mr. Coconuts home. We just used our savings on that hilarious soda bit. I miss spending time with you, Benny. Ever since Dairyland closed for the offseason, I don't see you very much. (shows a picture of herself dressed as Hedi Heifer, unmasking herself in front of Benny, causing him to knock over a popcorn cart) Remember how I'd sneak up on you and scare you'd knock over that popcorn cart? (giggles) I missed that!

Leni:
EEEEE!!! [Miguel snaps out of his trance] OMGosh! Time for the caboose of truth! [pushes him to the caboose] You have a crush on Gavin!

Miguel:
Shh! Fashion show voices. OK, yes, you're right, I do.

Leni:
EEE!!! [The train starts moving]

Leni:
Okay, just remember everything we talked about last night.

Miguel:
Ask if the sauce is fresh, compliment his shoes, mention the latest ep of "The Dream Boat."

Leni:
Perfect! [pushes him to the Spaghetti on a Stick and he sees Gavin and gasps]

Gavin:
Welcome to Spaghetti on a Stick! How can I help you today?

Miguel:
[sweating nervously as Leni nudges him; awkwardly] Uh, nice boats. Are those shoes fresh? Boy, that episode of "The Dream Sauce," huh?

Rodney:
[pulling up in his car] Hey, Rusty!

Rusty:
Dad, what are you doing here? Did you forget I'm hanging with the Dawg Squad, today? [hugs his friends all together]

Liam:
"Dawg Squad?"

Stella:
Yeah, we never agreed to that name.

Stella:
You okay, Rusty?

Rusty:
I just sold Mick Swagger's pants! This could run Duds for Dudes for life!

Stella:
See? That's why I have a huge fear of speaking in front of crowds. I can't get back up there. I don't have the confidence.

Lincoln:
What is going on with her?

Liam:
I don't know, but, she ain't right.

Rusty:
Zach, what was on that tape you gave her? Did you mess this up?

Zach:
No way! I'm the master of hypnosis. But, uh, I'll go to Stella's house and check the tape, just to be sure. And keep an eye on her until I get back.

Luna:
Dang it! The Rumble's tonight and there's no way I can sing like this! What am I gonna… [hiccups] do?!

[Daylight at the Royal Woods cemetery…]

Lucy:
I call this emergency meeting to order.

Dante:
This better be important. We're so not morning people.

Leni:
Knock-knock!

Lisa:
Salutations, sister. I'm sorry. I don't have time to make small talk.

Leni:
Math with letters? Totes fun! What are you working on?

Lisa:
[sighs] Small talk, it is.

Lynn Sr.:
Rosa?

Lincoln:
Ronnie Anne?

Rosa:
Lynn?

Ronnie Anne:
Lincoln?

[They run to each other and hug]

Rosa:
[in unison with Lynn Sr.] What a surprise!

Lynn Sr.:
[in unison with Rosa] I can't believe this!

Lincoln:
This is incredible!

Ronnie Anne:
I know!

Lincoln and Lynn Sr.:
The Lynn-sagna!

Lynn Sr.:
[having enough; enraged] That's it. You just got yourself uninvited from Thanksgiving!

Lincoln:
Yeah!

Rosa:
Well, thank you. Now, I won't have to choke on your dry-turkey. And you can forget about coming for Christmas.

Ronnie Anne:
Yeah!

Lynn Sr.:
Good! We don't like your soggy tamales anyway!

Lincoln:
Yeah!

Rosa:
[gasps in horrified shock] This friendship is officially over!

Lynn Sr.:
Fine by me! Lincoln, say goodbye to Ronnie Anne forever!

Rosa:
You too, Ronnie Anne.

Flip:
[approaching Lana with Nacho] Hey, I thought we were partners! I showed you how to fleece that clown-haired guy, cheat that scooter gal, and lie to those twinsies! And this is how you repay me?! [The Farrell twins, Scoots, and Rodney all clear their throats and he turns around, seeing them all behind him, looking very angry for hearing his confession and chuckles nervously]

Scoots:
GET HIM!

[Flip's pants fall from his waist and he and Nacho make a run for it before the victims start chasing them as Lana looks on, smiling smugly]

Lincoln:
Thanks for picking me up, Lori. I'm so excited to trick-or-treat in Great Lakes City. I've never gotten city candy before.

Lori:
Who cares about candy? Next to Valentine's Day, Halloween is the most romantic holiday of the year.

Lincoln:
Ugh. Please tell me you and Bobby won't make this holiday lovey-dovey like you do all the others.

Lori:
Trust me, even you will literally be impressed when you see our matching costumes. They're the same ones Mom and Dad wore on their first Halloween date.

Lincoln:
Well, I just wanna trick-or-treat with Ronnie Anne.

Lincoln:
Okay, you've gotta tell me what's going on.

Ronnie Anne:
This year, all of the shops on our block are competing to see who can create the scariest store. They've somehow convinced Ernesto Estrella to judge it.

Lincoln:
Oh, he's that famous astrologist your abuela loves, right?

Ronnie Anne:
Yup. That's why she's a little crazed about her horchata. She really wants to impress Ernesto with it.

[They see their older siblings hugging at the mercado's entrance]

Lincoln:
Have you two been down here hugging this whole time?

Ronnie Anne:
Bobby, what did I say about being lovey-dovey on Halloween?

Bobby:
Sorry, Ronnie Anne, but this is a super-romantic holiday, and Lori and I wanna do it right. Well, after we finish decorating the mercado. Babe, we're in this awesome competition.

Ronnie Anne:
I was just filling Lincoln in. The scariest store gets to make a commercial with Ernesto Estrella.

Bobby:
It would be huge for us! And we are so gonna win.

Lori:
Thanks for coming, Lucy.

Lucy:
I'm flattered the Casagrandes want my help.

Boris:
Thank you for letting Boris come along, too. I'm so excited for Halloween in the big city.

[They enter Great Lakes City and arrive at the Casagrande apartment]

Hector:
Lucy! Muchas gracias for helping us!

Lucy:
It's my pleasure, really. Scaring people brings me joy.

Bobby:
[hugs Boris, mistaking him for Grandpa Leonard] And this must be the legendary Gramps that Lori's been telling us about. Nice to meet you, sir.

Boris:
Boris is actually a child, but appreciates the sentiment.

Lori:
Hey, Carlota. You look stressed. What's up?

Carlota:
I'm just really behind on making everyone's costumes for tonight. I'm never gonna finish on time.

Lincoln:
Hmm. What if you had help? Leni is awesome with fashion.

Bobby:
That's a great idea! Babe, would you mind going back to Royal Woods to get her? We'll still have plenty of time for our romantic Halloween celebration.

Carlota:
Oh, it would really help me out, Lori.

Lori:
[sighs] Of course. Anything to help you guys win. [chuckles]

[Lori returns to the Casagrande apartment with Leni in tow]

Carlota:
[quickly hugs her] Thank you so much for coming!

Leni:
You can brief me on the way up. What are we looking at?

Carlota:
Silk, cotton, wool, and I was thinking… linen.

Leni:
[gasps] Linen in October? Now, that's scary.

Bobby:
[peeking out] Hi, Babe!

Lincoln:
[noticing Lisa, also in tow] Lisa, what are you doing here?

Lisa:
None of our siblings found my musings on All-Hallows-Eve to be interesting, so they offered my 50 bucks to, and I quote, "Take my dull facts elsewhere."

Carlos:
Did someone say dull facts? You're speaking my language! Lisa, would you like to help me reassemble a skeleton while discussing the mythology behind this spooky holiday?

Lisa:
[gasps and squeals] I apologize for that amateurish display of emotion. Be right up!"

Lori:
Ugh, Boo-Boo Bear, I am so ready to start our romantic Halloween celebration. Is the mercado all decorated?

Lincoln:
Not yet. We just need to wrangle the pack of angry neighborhood cats, which means we need Lana.

Lori:
[slumps in dismay] Ugh, seriously?!

Hector:
It would mean a lot to me, mija.

Lori:
Ugh. You know I can never say no to you, Mr. C.

Hector:
[hugs her] I was counting on that.

Lana:
[entering the mercado] I hear you guys need a cat wrangler. Well, you called the right person.

Hector:
Thanks for coming, Lana. But please be careful, these neighborhood cats are wild and mean. So… [notices Lana is nowhere to be seen] Lana? Where did she go?

Lana:
[leads the black cats into the mercado] This way, guys! Stay in formation. [Tarantulas also enter which she has rounded up] I also rounded up some tarantulas. I thought they might add a little extra scare.

Hector:
Lana, you're our salvadora! Oh, we've got first place in the bag!

Lincoln:
I have an idea! Lucy can summon a ghost, right, Luce?

Lucy:
I don't think it's a good idea. I once summoned a ghost named Buzz, and things didn't go well. If I try again, I'm sure he'll be the first one through the portal.

Lori:
[sobbing] I can't believe I forgot the straw wig for my scarecrow costume!

Bobby:
It's okay, babe. Leni and Carlota can make you a wig out of a mop head.

Lori:
Bobby, I need to wear the wig my mom wore on her first Halloween date with my dad. It's TRADITION! [sniffs] I have to go back to Royal Woods. I promise I'll be back in time for our Halloween, boo-boo bear.

Bobby:
Okay, I'll be waiting my little candy corn.

[The Louds, Pop-Pop, and Myrtle are all in the dining room, playing a game of Settlers of Cat-Land during their family game night]

Myrtle:
Okay, Lola, do you have a scratching post to trade for a bag of litter and some catnip?

Lola:
[chuckles] Oh, sweetie. You have to do better than that. I'm not trading for anything less than a diamond-encrusted cat collar.

Rita:
Lola, take it easy on Myrtle. It's her first family game night.

Myrtle:
Oh, I don't mind. I'm just so happy to be included.

Luan:
Wait. What is Myrtle's last name?

Myrtle:
No need to apologize. It just shows (Pinches Lynn's face) how much you care about your Pop-Pop, which is something we all have in common. You see the reason I brought him here tonight... (Takes out a little box) Was to propose!

Sisters:
Aww!!!

Lynn:
Preserving law and order has always been a tough job, but luckily for the students and teachers at Royal Woods Middle School, one person has always had it under control. I'm Lynn Loud, and this is my story.

Lincoln:
[to the viewers] Whenever Patchy declares it a Packing Day, Lynn goes full beast mode. She lurks outside waiting to hunt us down and pummel us with snowballs! No one is safe. She's the reason the house slants.

[Lori nervously arrives at Great Lakes City on a rainy day and waits for a taxi]

Lori:
[answers her phone as it rings] Hey, Lincoln.

Lincoln:
Hi, Lori. I need to ask you a--

Lori:
How do I look? Do I look okay?

Lincoln:
You look…the same.

Lori:
Okay. But do I look like someone you'd want in your life forever? I'm meeting Bobby's dad today and I'm really nervous, and it doesn't help it that my car's in the shop, the rain is ruining my hair, and I'm late!

Lincoln:
Wait, you haven't met Arturo yet? But we all spent Christmas at the Casagrande's together.

Lori:
We should have met them but… [Flashback to the ending events of "A Very Casagrandes Christmas"] As soon as we got there, I had to go to the bathroom. And he left before I got out. [quicky makes her way to the bathroom]

Flashback Arturo:
Feliz Navidad, Louds! Be right back. Rosa is sending me out for more masa. Wish me luck! [leaves as Lori exits the bathroom, relieved]

[End of flashback]

Lori:
Then, we ended up leaving before he got back. But today, there's no masa standing in our way! I'm finally meeting him. And I need it to be perfect, Lincoln.

Bobby:
[as Lori enters his apartment] Hey, babe!

Lori:
I am so sorry for being late. [hugs him] You wouldn't believe what happened to me. [checks out the apartment; amazed] Wow! Your place looks great! Where's your dad?

Bobby:
Relax, babe. He's also running late.

Lori:
Oh, perfect. I'll go freshen up.

[As Lori washes off her face in the bathroom…]

Bobby:
[off-screen] Hey, Dad, you made it!

Lori:
Ah! It's him. He's here. [opens the door to see Arturo…only to realize in horror he's the same guy she pushed into the puddle earlier]

Arturo:
Great to see you, mijo!

Lori:
[gasps in horror and closes the door] That's Arturo?!

Arturo:
You won't believe what happened to me! I was attacked by the rudest blonde girl!

Lori:
I shoved Bobby's dad into a puddle!

Bobby:
[knocking on the bathroom door from outside] Babe, are you almost done? My dad's here!

Bobby:
Babe? Why are you in my kigurumi, and why are you wearing my foot cream on your face?!

Lori:
Ugh. Uh… Kigurumi's are very in right now, and they say foot cream is good for your complexion, so, just trying to look my best for your dad.

Lori:
Looks like I have to literally be in disguise for the rest of my life.

Arturo:
Why am I getting a weird sense of deja vu right now? [Lori is surprised] Like I've been here before.

Lori:
Wait! Maybe his memory isn't completely lost! I might know how to bring it back!

Bobby:
What?

Lori:
I promise I'll explain all of this later. OK, here goes literally everything. Sorry, Arturo. [shoves him into another puddle]

Arturo:
You! You're that girl who pushed me a puddle yesterday! [grumbles as Lori gets him back up on his feet]

Bobby:
Babe, is that true? Why did you push my dad into a puddle…twice?!

Arturo:
"Babe?" Bobby, this puddle pusher is your girlfriend?

Lori:
YES!!! Your memory is back! Though I don't love the nickname.

Bobby:
Have we gotten to later yet? 'Cause I really need to know what's going on.

Lori:
Let's go inside, and I'll tell you everything over anchovy pizza.

Carlota:
I give up. At this point, it would take a miracle to…

Leni:
Hi, Carlota!

Carlota:
[gasps] Leni!

Leni:
[enters the mercado van] O-M-Gosh! I'm so sorry this is taking so long. I can't find that boutique you sent me to. GPS keeps directing me to a dumpster.

Carlota:
You have nothing to apologize for. There's no boutique. I sent you on a wild goose chase to get you out of the studio because I was jealous of your relationship with Mariella. [sighs sadly] I'm really sorry. I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again.

Leni:
O-M-Gosh.

Sergio:
Awkward.

[Carl coughs]

Carlota:
I messed things up so badly that we can't even do the show now. But don't worry, I'll tell Mariella it's all my fault. She'll definitely fire me, but… [sighs] I deserve it.

Leni:
You know, there's still 20 minutes till the show. I think we can save it.

Carlota:
Wait, you still wanna work with me?

Leni:
Of course. What you did wasn't very nice, but you're my friend, and I forgive you. So what do we need?

Carl:
For starters: food, beverages, music, clothes…

Leni:
Not a problem.

Carl:
And models.

Leni:
Also not a problem. I've got an idea. Go, Team CarLeni!

Lynn Sr.:
Hey, there, Vic, old buddy, old pal. Afraid we got some bad news for you.

Lisa:
We just discovered that according to state regulations, Gila monsters are not allowed in hotel establishments. Animal Control is on the way as we speak.

Vic:
[horrified] AH! Okay, okay, I'll give you your money back. I'll bump you up to red level. Just call off Animal Control!

Lynn Sr.:
All we want is the vacation we were promised.

Vic:
Deal! Are you doing it? Are you calling? I can't see!

Lola:
[grabs her twin by the overalls] There is a skunk on my Egyptian cotton sheets! I cannot imagine a bigger emergency!

Lana:
That's just Ann. She caught a cold in the park, so I figured, why not let her bunk with us till she feels better?