Trailer Park Boys, Season 6 (2006)

Ricky:
That's nothing, Julian, me and my old man made 70 bucks from recycling last week.

Bubbles:
70 bucks each?

Ricky:
No, 30 bucks each.

Bubbles:
(to Ray) 30 bucks each? Ray, that doesn't add up.

Ray:
Moving on, Bud...

[Sam gets out of the pick up truck]

Sam:
Barb.

Barb:
Hi, Sam.

Sam:
Hey Randy, do you wanna sign this so I can get started please?

Randy:
Sign what?

Sam:
It's a purchase order.

Randy:
Purchase order for what?

Sam:
To pave the park.

Randy:
I didn't call to have the park paved.

Sam:
I got an emergency call to get down here and pave the park right away. Sign it so I can get started.

Randy:
I didn't do it, Sam. I didn't call ya.

Sam:
Fuck, there's your name. Randy Bo Bandy. Now sign it so I can get started.

Barb:
He said he didn't call, Sam!

Randy:
Bo Bandy? I didn't call. I didn't call.

Sam:
Once I start that truck, I'm on the fucking clock, okay? So sign it so I can get started.

Randy:
I'm not signing shit! Why don't you go back and pave your cave, ya fuckin' caveman.

Sam:
The fuck did you call me?

Barb:
Well... you are a caveman, Sam.

Randy:
Yeah! A fuckin' caveman!

Sam:
Listen Burger Boy, you fuckin' pay me right now! You pay me right now! You fuckin' pay me right now!

[Randy and Sam fight each other]

Barb:
Randy! Sam! Sam! Randy!

Ted:
Alright. You guys are under arrest for breach of the peace.

[The cops arrest Randy and Sam]

Sam:
Motherfuckers every time I come down here!

Randy:
Ted, it's not my fault!

Ted:
I gotta deal with you here, Randy.

Randy:
Ted, this is bullshit! I was just trying to have a nice cheeseburger picnic and it got all fucked up! SON OF A BITCH! FOR FUCK'S SAKES! THIS IS FUCKIN' BULLSHIT!

[Ted opens the back door, puts Randy in the police car and closes the back door]

Ricky:
Randy's got some fuckin' nerve throwing everybody out of this park. That big, cocky prick, he's fuckin' up to something, I know he is. Something to do with us, trying to set us up or some shit. If Randy thinks he's smarter than me, he's wrong.

Jim:
Halloween 1977, Jules. You remember, don't you, Bubbles? Yo, what's at work here? It's the shit-tectonics. When two shit-plates strike, and come together under incredible pressure, what happens, Bubbles?

Bubbles:
What, Mr. Lahey?

Jim:
Shit quake. May the Force be with you gentlemen, and may I be with the Force.

Bubbles:
I remember Halloween 1977 like it was yesterday. I remember everything about that night.

Ricky:
Well, I didn't even smoke dope back in '77, so I can tell you exactly what happened on Halloween.

Julian:
I remember Halloween 1977 perfectly.

Ricky:
We dressed up as people from Star Wars and I remember Julian copied off me. I don't even remember what I dressed up as. Luke Skywalker or Dark Vader or something but Julian copied off me. Bubbles was the gold guy, I remember that.

Bubbles:
Had my C-3P0 outfit on. I remember the way the moon was gleamin' off the gold. I just wanted to get candy and Julian was on the liquor. I mean, we were only kids but he was still drivin' liquor into him.

Julian:
Then we see Lahey coming home. He just got off duty. Parked his car, got out. Ricky decides he wants to fuck over his cop car.

Ricky:
Bubbles or Julian, I can't remember which one, it was probably Julian but I think it was Bubbles, said 'let's go mess around with his cop car over here'.

Bubbles:
Julian had the idea, he wanted to get into some 'mischief', I remember is what he called it. And he wanted to go push Lahey's car, put it out of gear and see where it would roll to.

Ricky:
They put the car out of gear and started pushing it.

Bubbles:
Put it out of gear and off it went and it picked up way more speed than they thought it would and it crashed right into a fuckin' trailer. I remember thinking, "Oh my God. Now we did it".

Ricky:
And Lahey, he was a cop back then, it was his car, he ran out. All he wanted was to take Julian's liquor cause Julian was drinking big time back then. Julian fought him for it, liquor went up, got spilled all over Lahey and his uniform. He finally got the liquor, got back to his car and was trying to get car unstuck from the trailer in reverse and liquor spilled all over his crotch.

Julian:
Next thing you know, George Green shows up, he was Lahey's partner.

Ricky:
He's the stupidest cop there is and he thought Lahey was drunk, pissed himself. It did look like he was drunk and pissed himself, but he wasn't drunk. I don't think he even pissed himself at all, so it was a misunderstanding.

Bubbles:
He started saying, "Now listen, George, this isn't what it looks like", and George told him he was drunk and as they started arguing all that did is make Lahey look more drunk and crazy than he actually was back then. And next thing, Lahey's under arrest and it was our fault.

Ricky:
It came down to two choices and Lahey, well, he resigned. I just can't believe that Julian and Bubbles, they- they ruined Mr. Lahey's life.

Julian:
He lost his career, he lost his marriage, went down the tubes and he lost his mind.

Bubbles:
Mr. Lahey used to be nice back then and we turned him into a drunk, crazy lunatic.

Ricky:
My dad's the Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor now. He just fucking loves it. I mean he basically doesn't do a fucking thing. Just drives around, has some drinks, and says high to people. It's awesome.

Ray:
How's it going? 5,200 bucks a year! Come on! Life's good.

Ricky:
Life for me now is just so fucking great. I just grow lots of dope, spend time with Lucy and Trinity....Things are going really, really well. And Lucy is being so fucking cool, I get drunk three or four times a week with my friends, get stoned, play video games. I just don't know how life can get any better than this.