True Blood, Season 5

Pam:
[seeing the carnage in Sookie's kitchen] Color me impressed. You guys know how to party.

Sookie:
[looking down at Pam and Tara in the newly dug hole in the ground] Aren't you supposed to be holding her or something?

Pam:
Back off all right! I've done this before.

Lafayette:
Oh thank the f***ing lord for that.

Pam:
It's not to say it ended especially well.

Sookie:
Hey, we had deal. This ain't gonna work if you don't try.

Pam:
I am wearing a Wal-Mart sweatsuit for y'all. That's not demonstration of team spirit, I don't know what is.

Sookie:
[sitting at her kitchen table, she starts laughing while Bill, Eric and Alcide argue] Oh, I'm sorry. I just keeping thinking that if I make the right choice, all this madness will end and my life will go back to normal. But it's not gonna end, is it? This is it. It's not gonna change. We say goodbye, and the next thing, you guys are back in my house and a 3,000-year-old vampire wants to suck my blood. [Sookie stands up] Must be Thursday! [Sookie leaves the room to put on her jacket] Well, come on. What are y'all waiting for? Let's go hunt Russell. Onwards into the jaws of death. Boot and rally.

Jackson Herveaux:
Worst part of being a parent... No matter how hard you try, you can't keep your kids from eventually learning what a shit hole this world is. How corrupt, mean, arbitrary... You just wanna shield them from it, let them believe life is safe and fair. Bad gets punished, good gets rewarded... Because if they can believe that, you almost can too. But if you yourself end up being the one to teach them how f***ed up things are... That's a hell of a thing to ever come back from.

Steve Newlin:
[to Jason] My dead heart beats for you. The least you can do is try.

Steve Newlin:
I am Steve fucking Newlin. Who the fuck are you?

Jessica:
Who the fuck I am is an older vampire than you. Who I also am is the progeny of the King of Louisiana, who happens to be out of town, which pretty much makes me the Queen.

Eric:
[to Russell] Hello, old friend. Do you remember me? We've come to finish what we started.

Jason:
You know, you say you’re not all the same, but really, what’s the difference? I mean, you just drank from some dude you don’t even know.

Jessica:
Yeah, and I suppose you know every cow you’ve eaten.

Jason:
What the fuck kind of question is that? I ain’t never fucked a cow.

Jessica:
Oh, it’s a metaphor, idiot!

Jason:
Hey, fuck you, fanger.

Guard:
Ms. Hamby, awaiting your order.

Jessica:
You shot me in the head.

Jason:
So what? It’ll fucking heal. So will I.

Jessica:
Get the fuck out of my mansion.

Eric:
[about going with Sookie to save Jessica] Oh sweetie, don't be a fool.

Jason:
If I wanna be a fool, then I will be a fool. That is my God-given right as an American.