White Collar, Season 1

Peter:
[speaking to the prison warden] I know I spent three years of my life chasing him, and you let him walk out the front door.

Peter:
I work hard. I do my job well. And I don't have a ten million dollar view of Manhattan that I share with a 22 year old art student while we sip espresso!

Neal Caffrey:
Why not?

Peter Burke:
Why not?! Because I'm not supposed to. The amount of work I do equals certain things in the real world. Not cappuccino in the clouds.

Neal:
Look, I will find out where June buys her coffee if it's that important.

Peter:
It's not about the coffee.

Neal:
I think it is.

Peter:
No it's not. [pause] This is what gets you into trouble. This is the start of those something-for-nothing schemes that lead to the frauds that got you locked up.

Neal:
I think it's some sort of Italian roast.

Peter:
Get in the car.

[Neal is trying to help Peter with plans for his anniversary.]

Peter:
No, you don't get to lecture me about relationships. My wife didn't change her identity and flee the country to get away from me. [Neal looks stricken.] That was harsh, I didn't mean that.

Neal:
Yeah you did. [Peter doesn't argue.] Did she really flee the country?

Peter:
I don't know.

Neal:
France, did she go to France?

Peter:
I don't know!

Neal:
You only know the guys that get caught. They're the second best criminals.

Peter:
What's that say about you?

Neal:
It says that there's an exception to every rule.

Neal:
Did you really put Elizabeth under surveillance before you asked her out? Peter, I underestimated you.

Peter:
You told him?

Elizabeth Burke:
Oh, he said he wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing anybody else. Honey, it's cute.

Neal:
I think it's adorable.

Peter:
I'm putting you back in prison.

Peter:
[About Neal] He's almost as brilliant as the woman I married.

Elizabeth:
Ooh, good answer.[Pause] So what's the problem?

Peter:
This is not the way it's suppose to go. You get caught, you do your time. There's more to this - more to this than some lost love. Some side angle he's playing.

Elizabeth:
So you're suggesting he escapes a maximum security prison knowing full well that you'd catch him just so he could trick you into letting him out again?

Peter:
It's a working theory.

Elizabeth:
Yeah, keep working. Is it so hard for you to believe a man would do that for the woman he loves?

Peter:
Neal just bought himself four more years in prison. For what?

Elizabeth:
"For what"? If you were Neal, you wouldn't have run for me?

Neal:
No, Peter, menacing. You look like someone whose kid just struck out.

Neal:
(After putting sunglasses on Peter) Now say, 'I'll be back'

Peter:
No.

[A known criminal knocks on the door of a FBI stake-out van]

Man:
Are you the FBI?

Clinton Jones:
Yes?

[Peter is meeting Mozzie for the first time]

Peter:
I thought you would be taller.

Mozzie:
Me too.

Neal:
You want me to pull the records? We have clerks for that.

Peter:
I have something better. I have you.

Ames:
Shame the Greeks destroyed it.

Neal:
Shame you didn't have a better history teacher.

[After Neal charms a local art buyer working with the FBI]

Peter:
Have you ever met a woman who didn't-

Neal:
Brittney. Brittney Nicole. Second grade... I had a gap in my teeth.

[Neal shows up at Peter's house in the middle of the night]

Peter:
This had better be good.

Neal:
I took the painting.

Peter:
Damnit Neal .

Neal:
I wasn't gonna... [Peter holds up his hand] I did it for... [Peter stops him again] We can use it to catch Dorsette, he doesn't know I work for you.

Peter:
We'll set it up tomorrow. Now get the hell out of my house.

Neal:
[leaving] Goodnight, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth:
Goodnight, Neal. [walks over to Peter] Well, he told you the truth about the painting.

Peter:
Because they threatened Taryn.

Elizabeth:
It's a start.

Peter:
Yeah, it's a start.

[Neal and Peter are looking through a warehouse]

Neal:
I think I just saw the Ark of the Covenant back there.

Peter:
If my face melts, let me know.

[Peter is pacing angrily]

Neal:
I never lied to Peter.

Elizabeth:
You did leave a few things out.

Neal:
You don't understand; I have to find Kate.

Elizabeth:
My husband desperately wants to trust you and you keep giving him reasons not to. You're on your own on this one, Neal.

Neal:
No, wait, please don't go. [Elle stands up and leaves]

Neal:
[to Peter] Now what?

Peter:
Now I wouldn't take you off this case if I could.

Neal:
[about his mugshot] I never liked this picture.

Peter:
It's not that bad.

Neal:
It's better than my driver's license.

Peter:
Which one? You have several. [Neal looks at him] Okay, one crime at a time.

Neal:
I'll admit I've done a lot of things in my life that I'm not proud of. No, no, that's not true, I'm proud of most of them.

Peter:
Hello, Kate.

Kate:
Hello, Peter. [turns on light]

Peter:
We need to talk about Neal.

[Neal and Mozzie are playing chess and Mozzie compares Neal's life to the chess game with Kate as the queen and Neal as a pawn]

Mozzie:
I'm the bishop in case you were wondering.

Neal:
I wasn't.

Mozzie:
Oh.

Neal:
Just because I don't like guns doesn't mean I don't know how to use one.

Mozzie:
Okay. So. Fowler wants the music box, let's give it to him. Where is it?

Neal:
I don't have it.

Mozzie:
What? You told everyone you had it.

Neal:
I never told anyone. Everyone assumed I took it and I never corrected them.

Mozzie:
It did make you appear... superhuman.

Neal:
Image is everything.

Neal:
Aw, you're not comfortable around the six year old.

Peter:
I don't speak their language.

Neal:
I do?

Peter:
Yeah, you do. Come on, Peter Pan.

Peter:
Ok, we stop the judge from taking the Sullivan home. Then we get her disrobed. [Neal raises his eyebrows] You know what I meant... If we lean on her hard enough, she'll flip on Fowler. [Neal smirks and walks away] You know what I meant! ...That's not what I meant...

[Neal forges Peter's signature perfectly]

Peter:
How did you do that?

Neal:
Well, your hand is programmed over years to write letters a certain way. Try to mimic someone else's, and your style will always creep in. But, turn the signature upside down and it becomes nothing more than a drawing, all you have to do is copy the lines. The preconceptions about letters go away and you have a perfect signature.

Peter:
That's a neat trick. Don't ever copy mine again.

Neal:
Never again.

Peter:
You have copied my signature.

Neal:
Let's... focus on the crime at hand.

Elizabeth:
I don't think he bugged the dog.

Mozzie:
Amateur.

Peter:
She's taking advantage of the system.

Neal:
I hate when people take advantage of the system. Now... that I work for the system, of course.

Elizabeth:
[Moz is sweeping the Burke's house for bugs] So, um, you sure he won't try anything?

Neal:
Do you have any rare paintings or coins?

Elizabeth:
No.

Neal:
Then you'll be okay.

Mozzie:
[offscreen] Is this Gorham silverware? It's rather unique.

Neal:
Maybe you should keep an eye on him.

Elizabeth:
Yeah.

Mozzie:
A New Yorker who does not take the subway is not a New Yorker you can trust.

Neal:
I don't take the subway.

Mozzie:
Precisely.

Neal:
You do realize you have to flirt with her for the rest of the afternoon now, right? Should be a fun story to tell Elizabeth over breakfast.

Elizabeth:
Honey?

Peter:
Yeah?

Elizabeth:
What is this?

Peter:
I was going to talk to you about that... That is part of an undercover job I was working. And part of the cover was that I had to talk to another woman.

Elizabeth:
Must have been quite the conversationalist.

Peter:
I had to flirt with her so Neal could get closer to the target.

Elizabeth:
Isn't it usually the other way around?

Peter:
She chose me.

Elizabeth:
You had to seduce another woman?

Peter:
No! No! I just had drinks with her. Nothing happened El, I swear! Are you laughing? You're laughing.

Elizabeth:
You had to flirt? You hate flirting!

Neal:
Out of all the people in my life-Mozzie, even Kate, you know-you're the only one.

Peter:
"The only one" what?

Neal:
The only person in my life I trust.

[Peter has a surveillance tape of Neal sneaking into a building]

Neal:
[drugged and loopy] You stole that for me?

Peter:
Yeah. It's a regular Kodak moment.

Alex Hunter:
You've turned fed!?

Neal:
I was forced fed.

[Neal has indicated that Peter is no longer a welcome house guest]

Peter:
Is this because I ran prints on Alex?

Neal:
It's for so many reasons.

[Peter is planning to stay in a hotel while his power is out]

Neal:
Peter, mi casa is su casa.

Peter:
Su casa is not even *su* casa.

Peter:
Manuel Campos just died in ICU. His wife's a mess. Says she didn't see the driver. NYPD's out of leads. Tell me who's responsible for this.

Neal:
His name's Matthew Keller. He's the blue-collar version of me.

Neal:
Whatever I did, I have proof I didn't do it.

[Peter arrives at Neal's apartment to find Alex and Mozzie there too]

Peter:
Look at this, all the usual suspects in the same place; makes my job much easier. What are you kids up to?

Alex:
We were just leaving.

Peter:
I'm sure you were.

[Mozzie and Alex leave]

Peter:
You met with Fowler and now Alex and your little buddy are here: you've got your whole crew together to steal the box. Tell me I'm wrong.

Neal:
[shrugs] You're wrong?

Peter:
I don't understand you. I gave you something good here and you're about to blow it. I gave you a shot at a better life.

Neal:
It's not the life I want.

Peter:
We all have our weaknesses. Kate's yours.

Mozzie:
"We feel free when we escape-even if it be but from the frying pan into the fire." [Cuts Neal's anklet] No sirens.

Neal:
Into the fire then.

Peter:
You said good-bye to everyone but me. Why?

Neal:
I don't know.

Peter:
Yeah, you do. Tell me.

Neal:
I don't know, Peter.

Peter:
Why?

Neal:
You know why!

Peter:
Tell me!

Neal:
'Cause you're the only one who could change my mind!

[A beat passes. Tears are tracking down Neal's face. Peter's eyes are bright with them as well.]

Peter:
Did I?

[After a moment glancing between Kate, who is waiting on the plane, and Peter, a visibly distraught Neal turns & walks away. After a few steps, he takes a hard breath and turns back to face Peter.]

Neal:
Peter...

[The plane behind Neal explodes.]

Neal:
Wow your actually doing the whole hero thing.

Neal:
I swept the leg he went down.

Peter:
You don't look dirty.

Neal:
Yeah, well I know what I'm doing.

Curator":
Who are you?

Peter:
Neal Caffrey, he's one of our art consultants.

Curator":
Caffrey, Not familiar with that name.

Peter:
It's probably for the best.

Curator":
You're an expert on haustenberg?

Neal:
All the late European post-impressionists.

Curator":
I authenticated "young girl with locket" myself When it first entered our collection. You'll agree it's an excellent work, A bit sentimental for my taste, But the Matisse influence is apparent.

Neal:
Oh, well, considering Matisse was a fauvist, I wouldn't agree with that at all. Unless you're talking about his early work, Which i don't think you are, and if you are, you're just wrong.

[While being kidnapped by Wilkes]

Neal:
Lindsey?

Lindsey:
Yes, who are you?

Neal:
My name is Neal Caffrey.I'm with the FBI.I'm here to help you.

Lindsey:
Really? Who's gonna help you?

Neal:
I'll admit, not the greatest rescue.