X-Men: Evolution, Season 1

[After Toad, blown into the mansion by Storm's powers, meets Nightcrawler for the first time.]

Toad:
Whoa! What are you, some kind of ratty plush toy?

Nightcrawler:
The name's Nightcrawler, and at least I don't reek like unwashed lederhosen.

Toad:
You blue-furred freak!

[As Toad chases Nightcrawler through the mansion, the former hurling insults at the latter.]

Nightcrawler:
As you say in America, "neener, neener, neener!"

Toad:
That ain't gonna help you, boy!

Nightcrawler:
You're so slow, you couldn't catch flies off a windshield!

Toad:
Fight like a man!

Professor Xavier:
Yes. The boy is, indeed, gifted. He could be one of us.

Storm:
Sometimes, Professor, I think your good heart blinds even you from the truth.

[Nightcrawler suddenly leaps down the hall, chased by Toad]

Toad:
I'm gonna rip that pointy tail off, ya fuzzy gecko!

Toad:
[chasing Nightcrawler] Come here, Wookiee boy! Come on, come over here, don't make me come up there, don't make me, oh, now you're starting to tick me off...

Professor Xavier:
Todd Tolansky does indeed have the gift of the X-gene. He is welcome to join us, if he so desires.

Toad:
[still mad at Kurt] The only thing I desire is blue-boy's fuzzy head!

Wolverine:
I came back 'cause I thought I smelled trouble brewing. [glances at Toad] Of course, it could've just been stink-boy there...

Professor Xavier:
I wish it was. Welcome home, old friend. We've missed you.

Nightcrawler:
[checking out the Blackbird] Sehr gut! Is it yours? Please tell me you get to fly it.

Cyclops:
It's ours. If you stick around long enough, I'll teach you how to pilot this bad boy.

Nightcrawler:
But...I almost got you guys killed a few minutes ago.

Cyclops:
Yeah... don't do that again. But look, we all mess up sometimes; I know I do. That's why we're all here: to learn not to make mistakes like that. That's why we'd like you to stay.

Nightcrawler:
And you don't mind... the way I look?

Cyclops:
[Laughs] Dude, just don't hassle me about my shades and we'll call it even.

Nightcrawler:
We have a deal, then.

Cyclops:
Welcome to the team. Come on, I'll show you where they hide the sodas.

[Kitty had just walked away from Avalanche]

Avalanche:
You can run, but you can't hide. Cause I'm gonna rock your world!

Sabretooth:
One shall fall by the other's hand. It's our destiny, and we can't change it.

Wolverine:
I didn't know you went for that philosophy mumbo-jumbo!

Cyclops:
[to Sabretooth] Hey, hairball! I got your destiny right here!

[Wolverine, Cyclops and Nightcrawler beat Sabretooth.]

Nightcrawler:
Heh! We showed him. We are the X-Men!

Wolverine:
I don't fight your battles. So don't fight mine. [storms off]

Nightcrawler:
[to Cyclops] Ahh, he loves us.

Cyclops:
Oh yeah, big time.

Wolverine:
Hey, when I give a demo, I give a demo.

Cyclops:
A demo, as in "demolish", or "demonstration"?

Wolverine:
The vents were easily breached; gonna have to fix that. Maybe electrifiers, or poison gas sprayers.

Storm:
Wolverine...

Wolverine:
Alright, alright...knockout gas, then.

Shadowcat (shudders):
Is it just me, or is anybody else, like, seriously freaked by all of this? (everyone stares at her) Oh. Right, it's just me? Great.

Nightcrawler:
Relax, Kitty; you'll be fine. (he teleports next to her; she gasps) We're right beside you. (he teleports agains on the opposite side of her) Popcorn? (Shadowcat screams) Oops. Heh heh, sorry. Next time I'll honk before I 'port.

Shadowcat:
Whatever. Look, guys, it's getting late. If it's no biggie, I'm gonna, like, drop out. (she phases through the floor)

Nightcrawler:
Ah. She's fully not into the fuzzy dude. Not that I blame her.

Jean Grey (putting a hand on Nightcrawler's shoulder):
Aw, she just needs some time, Kurt. She'll come around.

Cyclops:
Nice job, Kurt. You'll make a pilot, yet.

Nightcrawler:
Thanks!

(Kurt starts piloting with his feet.)

Cyclops:
...or maybe not.

Shadowcat:
Scott seems so, like, together! So cool and he's kinda cute.

Jean Grey:
Cute?! Stiff - maybe, exacting - definitely, but... hmm... (looks at Scott) You know, from a certain angle...

Nightcrawler:
Was? Got a scent?

Wolverine:
Yeah... I smell fear.

Wolverine:
(to Kurt, about Kitty) ... and keep an eye on the half-pint here.

Shadowcat:
Hey!

Professor Xavier:
Wolverine, it's Nightcrawler. The Rogue has his mind and his abilities.

Wolverine:
This is my fault. I should never have left the little squirrel in charge!

[After Rogue accidentally knocks Kurt out and flees the scene, leaving Shadowcat alone with him.]

Shadowcat:
Say something, Kurt! Please! Tease me, scare me, anything! Please...don't be dead... Come on, Kitty... okay, what would Wolverine do? I mean, besides dice up, like, half the landscape...

Nightcrawler:
(finally wakes up and sees the destruction around him)... Looks like I missed quite a party...

Shadowcat:
Kurt! You're alright! (hugs him) Easy, you fuzzy elf. Everything is going to be just fine.

Cyclops:
(whispering) "Fuzzy elf"?

Cody:
(about talking to Rogue) I'm just, you know, picking my moment. Taking it slow.

Ty:
Cody, I've seen glaciers move faster.

Storm:
You look a little flush and the forecast isn't good.

Logan:
Now that was cold.

[After Blob, lost on his first day in Bayville high, grabs Duncan.]

Blob:
Hey, you! Where am I supposed to be?

Duncan:
I don't know. How about a sideshow?

[Cyclops and Rogue are sitting together rehearsing their script from Henry VIII.]

Cyclops:
Do you like me, Kate?

Rogue:
Pardonnez moi? I cannot tell what is "like me".

Cyclops:
An angel is like you, Kate, and you are like an angel.

Rogue:
The girls are right; you are a charmer.

Cyclops:
Look, I'm just practicing the lines, okay?

Rogue:
Yeah, I know, it's just that sometimes I wish...

Scott:
Yeah, wish what?

Rogue:
Wish I could get close to somebody, but you know what happens when I do!

Wolverine:
That's it half-pint, keep the ball away from the elf.

[After Nightcrawler teleports between Cyclops and Rogue in the middle of rehearsal.]

Nightcrawler:
Whoa! Er... Tender moment here? Sorry to interrupt.

Rogue:
I swear, he's like a... an annoying little brother!

Cyclops:
Teleporter to maximum, Mr. Wagner.

Nightcrawler:
Aye, Captain!

Cyclops:
Engage.

Rogue:
Leave her alone, ya yahoo!

Blob:
Whatcha gonna do to me? Make me wear bad makeup?

Rogue:
Didn't Mystique tell you what my power is?

Blob:
No - 'cause I don't care!

(Rogue pulls off her glove and grabs Blob's arm.)

Rogue:
My power is your power, and I can take more than one!

(Rogue tosses Blob using his strength, and blasts him further back with Cyclops' beam. He lands in a pile of junk, but gets up again quickly.)

Blob:
I got too much power, even for you! You can't hurt me! I'm the Blob!

Rogue:
Nah, you're just garbage that wanted a date! Now tell you what: I'm taking you out!

Storm:
Evan, are you alright? I've been concerned about you lately. You know, about the things we've discussed before?

Spyke:
Yeah, yeah, no problem Auntie O', everything's cool.

Storm:
Evan, I saw what happened to you out there tonight; when you fell.

Spyke:
Hey, it's no big deal; I got it under control. Ah... ATCHOO! [the sneeze causes him to spray bone spikes all over the locker room, narrowly missing Storm]

Storm:
[Unfazed] Bless you.

Spyke:
[Sniffs] Busted, huh?

Storm:
Big time.

Wolverine [after Nightcrawler attempts to get pancakes]:
ELF! [sighs] How many times do I gotta tell ya? Ask and it'll get passed to ya.

Nightcrawler:
Sorry. I didn't want to interupt you. [teleports back in his chair]

Wolverine:
That's better. Now mind your manners. [passes the pancakes to Nightcrawler]

Nightcrawler:
I love the smell of bacon in the morning.

Scott:
It's really not so bad, Mrs. Daniels. Having special powers can be pretty cool sometimes.

Evan:
Oh yeah! I'll tell you what, Shades! Let's see what you've got that's so cool!

Mrs. Daniels:
Evan!

Evan:
Sorry, Mom.

Jean:
No really, it's okay. It's just that Scott's powers aren't really what you'd call 'indoor-friendly'.

Evan:
Okay, whatever. Look, man. I like it right here and I'm not going to some home for freaks! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some school stuff to take care of. (goes upstairs)

Mrs. Daniels:
Evan!

Jean:
Well, that went well!

Scott:
Yeah. And I thought we were really making a connection there.

Mr. Daniels:
I apologize for my son, Mr. Summers. He's obviously dealing with a lot right now. I'll talk with him.

Jean:
(using her power) Hey! He's going out the window.

Scott:
We've really got to work on our sales pitch!

Kitty:
Eww! Professor! Kurt is, like, totally getting fur in the pool!!

Kurt:
I am not!! [edit]

Cyclops:
Go to Duncan Matthews' party? I don't think so. Matthews is a jerk.

Shadowcat:
No he's not. I'd go.

Cyclops:
No freshmen allowed.

Shadowcat:
Oh. Matthews is a jerk.

Nightcrawler:
Hey, chicks dig the fuzzy dude! [to Shadowcat, suggestively] Right?

Shadowcat:
I'm, like, so out of here. Later.

Nightcrawler:
Oh yeah, she can't resist.

Cyclops:
Hey! Watch the tail! (jerks Kurt off of table) Now, see? That's exactly what I'm talking about --

Nightcrawler:
You pulled my tail, man!

Cyclops:
Grow up, Kurt.

Nightcrawler:
Hey, lighten up, dude!

Cyclops:
You're always goofing around!

Nightcrawler:
And you're seriously cramping my style!

Cyclops:
Listen.

Nightcrawler:
No, you listen! There's a sound I want you to hear, and it's-

(Nightcrawler teleports, leaving Cyclops coughing in a cloud of brimstone.)

Cyclops:
[To Jean and Evan] Blew it, didn't I?

Jean Grey:
Oh yeah.

Spyke:
Totally.

Nightcrawler:
I knew I should have paid more attention in computer lab.

Nightcrawler:
It's raining furniture!

Nightcrawler:
Don't let my looks fool you. I'm a harmless blue fuzzball.

[After Cyclops, Spyke, Jean and Shadowcat recover Forge's projector.]

Cyclops:
Step back. This is going to be messy.

Shadowcat:
You know, I could just, like, phase through it and short it out quietly? [Cyclops and Spyke look at her blankly.] Oh, right. Forget I mentioned it. [to Jean] Like, what is it with guys and explosions anyway?

Forge:
Man. You do have that rep.

Nightcrawler:
I swear, that homie's lingo is so whack.

(about Forge as they wander through Middleverse.)

Lance:
Rogue, Mystique sent us to find you. So are you with us or them?

Scott:
Mystique? You're working for her?

Rogue:
Hey, Summers, you got your friends, I got mine. But this ain't my fight, I'm outta here.

Nightcrawler:
So, how far does this middleverse extend?

Forge:
Stops just short of the girls locker room, isn't that a burn?

Kurt:
(to Rogue) What are you doing here?

Rogue:
Hey, look who's talkin'! At least I didn't blow the place up!

Kurt':
(seeing a device that she is holding and runs over to take it away from her) Hey, give me that.

Rogue:
(struggling with Kurt) Back off, blue boy! Who says YOUR in charge here?!

Lance:
You and me got a date, Pretty Kitty. How about a ride on a concrete coaster?

Kitty:
Lousy ride, loser! [edit]

Random kid:
Ahhh! A ghost! Blue and hairy demon!! I'm outta here!

Toad:
What is this, abuse the Toad day?

Scott:
I need to lighten up! (Jean and Kitty gape in shock)

Jean:
Oh, not you Scott!

Kitty:
(giggles) Check his temperature! (places her hand on his forehead to check his temperature) Mr. Military's gone soft!

Scott:
Ok! So we go home, suit up and run a level 3 Danger Room simulation!

Jean:
(groans) Scott!

Kitty:
(groans) Give us a break!

Nightcrawler:
(leans forward) See this is what I mean! Too serious!

Scott:
Psych!

Jean/Kitty:
(giggle)

Nightcrawler:
(smiles) Very nice! There's hope for you yet!

Scott:
Tell me about it on the way to Matthew's party!

Kitty:
(grumbles) I still can't go! (folds her arms) I'm like, a freshman!

Scott:
(places his arm around her shoulder pulling her in for a hug) You're also one of the X-Men!

Jean:
(places her hand on Kitty's shoulder making the scene look like a mom, dad and daughter scene) Don't worry! We'll make it happen!

Rogue:
Scott? Scott!? Listen, just hang on, you're gonna be okay. You're gonna be...(looks over edge) Oh man! We're gonna die!

Scott:
(sarcastically) Thanks for the Pep-Talk! Rogue? You saved my life!

Rogue:
Ah owed it to you! Mystique had meh pretty mixed up! Her mind's a tortured mess! But I saw enough to know that you're not my enemies! (sadly) I really thought she cared about me!

Scott:
(groaning) Hey, she probably does! Sometimes it's really hard to understand adults! They never seem to trust us! (faints)

Rogue:
(scared) Scott?! Don't pass out! Come on! (nearly in tears) Wake up!

Wolverine:
We're moving too slow! Spread a little more sunshine would ya?

Storm:
I'm a weather-witch, not a snow plow. I'm doing the best I can.

Rogue:
(gasps) It's Mystique!

Professor:
(telepathically) Scott? Scott! I hope you can hear me! We're on our way! Scott! (normally) He's hurt!

Wolverine:
Great! How we gonna find him in this white?

Scott:
X-Men! Coming!

Rogue:
What? They are? Great!

Scott:
They can't find us!

Rogue:
Figures! Then we'll give em something they can find! Open your eyes, Scott! Now!

Logan:
Where's your allegiance, kid, us or them?

Rogue:
(shaking and scared out of her wits) If I don't say you, will I get thrown out of this jet?

Logan:
Nope, not our style. We've either earned your trust by now or we haven't.

Rogue:
You.

Logan':
Welcome to the X-Men.

Jean:
Which one of your guys has been putting on weight? I can hardly hold you!

Cyclops:
It's Nightcrawler. Burgers seven days a week will do that to a fella.

Nightcrawler:
Ah, the breakfast of mutants.

Rogue:
No trophies for second place.

Scott:
How'd a southern gal like you learn to handle a snowmobile?

Rogue:
Lets just say I'm full of surprises.

Professor:
Rogue?

Rogue:
It's not my place!

Kitty:
Sure it is! You're part of the family now!

Eva:
Yeah, Girl! Tell us what you think!

Rogue:
Well...I think...No! I've learnt that honesty is very important between people you care about! At least it is to me!

Professor:
You're right! All of you! I must apologise for keeping the secret from you! But please understand there are many challenges in your future! Secrets...elements of surprise some you are ready to deal with. Some you are not! In the future I will try to do better knowing which is which!

Scott:
Thanks professor! We're all in this together! It's nice to know we've all got something to learn! It's what makes us X-Men!

Evan:
(Sabertooth grabs him) We've been expecting you. (Evan pops his spikes) You gotta be sharp if you're gonna mess with the Spyke.

Sabertooth:
(drops Spyke goes after Kitty) Then I'll take you!

Kitty':
(Kitty phases Creed flies through) Right. I'm so sure!

Sabertooth:
knocks Kitty into a tree, goes after her again)

Rogue:
Back off ugly!

Wolverine:
Pickin' on kids, Creed? Big mistake!

Sabertooth:
Yeah, Why?

Logan:
Cause it really ticks me off!

Evan:
Come on, Rogue, get with the program. Shake that thing.

Rogue:
Hey, she's got her moves, I got mine.

Kitty:
Yeah, girl, you gotta go with it. Y'know, you're like a walkin' zombie or something.

Evan:
Hey, listen, Rogue, how 'bout you shed those gloves and give K-girl a tap.

Kitty and Rogue:
What? No way!

Evan:
Listen to me. Just enough to rip Kitty's moves.

Rogue:
It might work. Just concentrate on 'em.

Kitty:
Okay, but you better not lay me out.

Rogue:
That was like, pretty icksome! Aw, am I talking like her? [edit]

Rogue:
[after touching Sabertooth and almost turning into a werewolf] Awww... and I just shaved my legs last night!

Logan:
Nice. The finishing touch. (to Kitty) And don't give me them puppy dog eyes, half-pint. You're grounded and so are the rest of you!

Evan' For how long?

Logan:
(sighs) I don't know, till She-Wolf there gets a haircut anyway.

Rogue:
Just when I thought you could not possibly get more pathetic.

Kitty:
At least I've got a hope of getting cast. Unlike you.

Rogue:
Think about it. I was made for this play. (catches Spyke filming them) Hey! What are you playin' at Porcupine? I better not see my face on that tape or they're gonna be calling you Spyke-less.

Sabertooth:
(about Evan, Kitty and Rogue) Three little piggies all alone, Logan you're making this too easy.

Toad:
(To Evan) Style, charisma... Toad's got it all, yo. So start shootin', already.

Blob:
"Group Leader". "Scholastic achievement". That should've been me!

Quicksilver:
You can't even spell 'scholastic achievement', Blob.

(about Blob)

Quicksilver:
If he slips, we're history! Death by blubberbomb!

Avalanche:
Fastest way to the top's a straight line, Pietro.

Juggernaut:
You can't stop the Juggernaut!

Wolverine:
Forgive me for trying, bub!

Mystique:
Now there's something you won't see every day.

Professor X:
I agree. And that's a shame.

Blob:
That loser Scott should've lost, and you know it.

Pietro:
Yeah. Just because he slipped into the bath, the guy went ballistic.

Nightcrawler:
Slipped?! More like avalanched!

Evan:
Woah,... I don't recomend that.

Pietro:
Cake walk. Our team can take a sauna. I'll get it myself.

Kurt:
Not if I beat you there.

Lance:
Better say your farewells 'Sumner', Cause you guys aren't coming back.

Scott:
Oh, you got something in mind 'Rock Tumbler', cause I...

Jean:
Scott! What do you think you're doing?

Scott:
What?! Nothing! I'm just fed up with those delinquents getting away with everything while we're stuck playing by the rules!

Lance:
Hey! We don't need our powers to beat you!

Scott:
Aw, fine then. We'll all play it straight and you know what? We'll wave to you from the top!

Jean:
Good. That's the deal. We're all competing fair; no powers, and I personally am very proud....

Scott:
Come on, Jean!

Scott:
It felt kinda right, didn't it?

Jean:
What?

Scott:
Us and them fighting alongside? Why can't they just stop drawing battlelines in the first place?

Jean:
Well, it's like what Logan said, "You can't control the will of others."

Scott:
Well, they'll come around. And you can be their conscience. You're pretty good at it.

Jean:
(playfully pushes him) Oh... shut up ... (giggles a little bit)... even good guys need a nudge once in a while.

Scott:
Jean, whenever you think I need it, nudge away.

Jean:
Yeah, well, Scott's cool. He'll handle it like a group leader should.

Jean:
Or not.

Jean:
Yeah, at least he gave us a choice. Survival training here or with Wolverine.

Rogue:
Some choice.

Logan:
I still say you should have let me handle their survival training.

'Xavier:
I gave them that choice, Logan. They felt they had a better chance of surviving the camp.

Toad:
(about Scott) He stole that first place ribbon!

Rogue:
You want that ribbon so bad? I'll pin it to your forehead.

Kitty:
(dropping onto her bag) We're going to die out here

Evan:
What about me, I'm a city kid

Rogue:
(picking up her stuff) I'm going AWOL, anyone know how to hotwire a school bus?

Professor X:
You've been carrying a terrible burden for many years, Mystique. Rogue's recent contact with you seems to have given her some of your darker memories; nightmares about a very unfortunate incident involving an infant.

Mystique:
You're fishing. You know nothing.

Professor X:
I know about your relationship with the boy, Mystique. What I don't know is what Magneto did to him. Why did you run that night?

Mystique:
[Gets up from the desk and walks to the bookcase] Dear, dear Charles. How incredibly frustrating for you; to realise that that amazing mind of yours knows so very little, really.

Professor X:
What were you two up to in that dreary castle? Was it worth the loss of your son?

Mystique:
Get out! Get out now!

Professor X:
Just in case you're curious: he turned out to be a very fine lad. [Leaves]

[Kurt & Kitty find that the plane they hid in is actually flying away.]

Shadowcat:
Can you transport us to the ground?

Nightcrawler:
Yeah, right. Like, picture this: bumpety, bumpety, bumpety, bumpety, SPLAT! Too high up and WAY too fast!

Shadowcat:
(writing in letter) Finding a place to be alone around here is really a matter of timing. Sometimes you have to settle, like when Mr. Logan's around, but that's okay, because he doesn't want to talk to anybody. (she looks up at Logan)

Wolverine:
What's the matter half-pint? Am I reading too loudly for ya?

Shadowcat:
No, just enjoying how quiet it is

Wolverine:
You caged the wrong animal, bub!

Scientist:
Stop! This place is going to blow!

Wolverine:
Let it! Kitty, leave!

Shadowcat:
Not without you! (Nightcrawler teleports next to her and grabs her wrist)

Nightcrawler:
No argument this time! (he and Shadowcat both teleport out of the labratory; Sabretooth appears behind Wolverine)

Wolverine:
Project Weapon X has been terminated!

Kitty's Father:
Kitty, I pushed you to this, I know. I wanted to pretend nothing was wrong. I'm not perfect. I'm learning just like you are.

Kitty:
Daddy?

Avalanche:
Forget them. Come on, I'm bringing this place down!

Jean Grey:
You called your gift a curse. If you go with him, I guarantee it will be.

Rogue:
[To Mystique, as the latter approaches while transformed] Some friendly advice, teach? Don't mess with the Rogue!

[First line of the episode. Evan looks down at his failed paper]

Evan:
Man! Professor Xavier's gonna ground me for the rest of my life!

Teacher:
Mr. Daniels, could we talk for a moment, please? Admittedly, I asked for a report on the Star Wars programme. However, I wasn't talking about the movie.

Evan:
[weakly] But I like movies.

Teacher:
That's fine, but I was expecting a report on the National Space Defense System.

Evan:
Yeah, I kinda figured that out by my grade. Look, man. Is there anything I can do to make this up? Extra credit? Anything?

Teacher:
Hmmm...Perhaps there is something. [takes a video camera out of his desk]

Evan:
Woah! A digicam!

'Teacher:
You know, Evan, current events can mean a lot of things to people your age. How would you like to do a film report?

Evan:
For real?

Teacher:
You've got it. Project's due at the end of the week. I suggest you get started.

Blob:
"Group Leader". "Scholastic achievement". That should've been me!

Quicksilver:
You can't even spell 'scholastic achievement', Blob.

Blob:
No, but I can spell "doomed"! Which is what that goody-two shoes gang is when I get them alone in the woods!

Toad:
I can hear it now. [imitates newsreader] "Search and rescue efforts abandoned for missing teens. No traces found".

Avalanche:
We'll hit them where it hurts most. In public. In front of everyone!

[The X-Jet is parked near the mountain. As Logan walks away from it, Kitty, having changed into her X-Men uniform, phases through the bottom of the jet, crouches down, and raises an eyebrow while watching him. She gets up and walks. Kurt, having also changed into his X-Men uniform, teleports beside Kitty.]

Shadowcat:
Did you get into the cockpit?

Nightcrawler:
Yeah, but something's jamming the transmitter way out here. I couldn't reach the Institute.

Shadowcat:
[Sighs] Looks like we're on our own then.

[Kurt shrugs before he and Kitty follow Logan.]

Nightcrawler:
[facing off with Sabretooth] Touch me, and you'll find yourself transported two miles into the woods!

Sabretooth:
Then that's where you'll fall!

[Kurt is blocking everyone from going into the dining room, where Kitty is inside typing a letter on her laptop.]

Nightcrawler:
Just relax. Give her a minute. Nobody's gonna starve to death.

[Kitty is typing the letter on her laptop.]

Shadowcat:
[Voice-over] So, like I said this morning, it's just been another normal day here at the Xavier Institute. Funny. I've been complaining about not having enough time alone, right? But I think I, like, miss bumping into everyone. It's just part of the deal, when you're part of a family.

Professor X:
[to Scott] Mutants shouldn't be divided. But we didn't draw the line, Magneto did, and it's still there. You just crossed over it.